What's on your mind?

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Replies

  • laprimaJenny
    laprimaJenny Posts: 1,495 Member
    Someone told me very hurtful things a few days ago and it's still bothering me. I wish I didn't let things like that bother me so much. I've already said things when I've been hurt and angry (I think we all have) but this person really meant it and I don't understand how some people can be so heartless.

    When faced with a similar scenario I always try to consider how I may have contributed to the situation. It's all too easy to point fingers and blame the perpetrator but I have learnt that no difficulty is entirely one-sided. So try to contemplate your piece in the dialogue or what you may have done to add fuel to the fire. Even when we feel we are 100% right, it’s healthy to try to understand where the other person is coming from. It helps you gain prospective because no one hurts others unless they are in pain themselves.

    Knowing my part helps me understand the other person’s perspective and changes my focus from being hurt to trying to work on myself to become a better person. Even if it’s simply to learn how to respond in a way that doesn’t put me in the wrong within the heat of an argument. In the end it’s not about who’s right. Rather it’s about establishing healthy boundaries, building healthier relationships and improving communication skills.

    <3 I agree to all of this. You always have such great advice Jenny 😘 Although I feel hurt by one specific thing that was said...I'm definitely not pointing fingers.

    This was a very important friendship in my life at some point and I did learn from it. One thing in particular. It's better to not say anything when we feel hurt and angry sometimes. It's hard to do in the heat of the moment at times but it never ends well. We live and we learn.

    Pfttt! If I could bring a cork around in my purse to shut me up at times, I would. I think personally the pain I feel from situations such as these are my internal regrets. The worst part is that some of the most valuable relationships I’ve had, I destroyed with my own hands. I totally understand where you’re coming from. ♥️
  • The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_
    The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_ Posts: 2,069 Member
    Someone told me very hurtful things a few days ago and it's still bothering me. I wish I didn't let things like that bother me so much. I've already said things when I've been hurt and angry (I think we all have) but this person really meant it and I don't understand how some people can be so heartless.

    When faced with a similar scenario I always try to consider how I may have contributed to the situation. It's all too easy to point fingers and blame the perpetrator but I have learnt that no difficulty is entirely one-sided. So try to contemplate your piece in the dialogue or what you may have done to add fuel to the fire. Even when we feel we are 100% right, it’s healthy to try to understand where the other person is coming from. It helps you gain prospective because no one hurts others unless they are in pain themselves.

    Knowing my part helps me understand the other person’s perspective and changes my focus from being hurt to trying to work on myself to become a better person. Even if it’s simply to learn how to respond in a way that doesn’t put me in the wrong within the heat of an argument. In the end it’s not about who’s right. Rather it’s about establishing healthy boundaries, building healthier relationships and improving communication skills.

    <3 I agree to all of this. You always have such great advice Jenny 😘 Although I feel hurt by one specific thing that was said...I'm definitely not pointing fingers.

    This was a very important friendship in my life at some point and I did learn from it. One thing in particular. It's better to not say anything when we feel hurt and angry sometimes. It's hard to do in the heat of the moment at times but it never ends well. We live and we learn.

    Pfttt! If I could bring a cork around in my purse to shut me up at times, I would. I think personally the pain I feel from situations such as these are my internal regrets. The worst part is that some of the most valuable relationships I’ve had, I destroyed with my own hands. I totally understand where you’re coming from. ♥️

    <3
  • The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_
    The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_ Posts: 2,069 Member
    Why do the people I like the best keep disappearing on me?

    I'm just going camping Friday for 5 days, I'll be back 😜😘
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    Why do the people I like the best keep disappearing on me?

    I'm just going camping Friday for 5 days, I'll be back 😜😘

    Phew! Thank you for the heads up. I might have panicked
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    my old man has been living alone for a long time now. about a year or so ago he started seeing a lady who was his high school sweetheart way back in the day.
    they moved in together not too long ago now, and both of em have been really happy and good for each other. she's a nice lady i think.
    they went on a road trip together about a week ago and just got back on Monday. he came into town today to help me out with a project and told me they got married while they were on their trip.
    he's real happy about it. like i ain't used to seeing my old man smiling for a long time now. so its pretty good.

    ♥️
  • The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_
    The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_ Posts: 2,069 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    my old man has been living alone for a long time now. about a year or so ago he started seeing a lady who was his high school sweetheart way back in the day.
    they moved in together not too long ago now, and both of em have been really happy and good for each other. she's a nice lady i think.
    they went on a road trip together about a week ago and just got back on Monday. he came into town today to help me out with a project and told me they got married while they were on their trip.
    he's real happy about it. like i ain't used to seeing my old man smiling for a long time now. so its pretty good.

    That's so awesome ❤ good for him!
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    my old man has been living alone for a long time now. about a year or so ago he started seeing a lady who was his high school sweetheart way back in the day.
    they moved in together not too long ago now, and both of em have been really happy and good for each other. she's a nice lady i think.
    they went on a road trip together about a week ago and just got back on Monday. he came into town today to help me out with a project and told me they got married while they were on their trip.
    he's real happy about it. like i ain't used to seeing my old man smiling for a long time now. so its pretty good.

    💛 this. 🎉🎊Congrats to your Dad and his new Mrs!🎉🎊
  • The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_
    The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_ Posts: 2,069 Member
    IslandGal3 wrote: »
    Someone told me very hurtful things a few days ago and it's still bothering me. I wish I didn't let things like that bother me so much. I've already said things when I've been hurt and angry (I think we all have) but this person really meant it and I don't understand how some people can be so heartless.

    I'm sorry someone hurt you. Chin up sweetie. ♡

    I'm ok ❤😘 I hurt this person too but sometimes some words cut deeper than others. Just wish I wasn't so sensitive sometimes
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  • The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_
    The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_ Posts: 2,069 Member
    IslandGal3 wrote: »
    IslandGal3 wrote: »
    Someone told me very hurtful things a few days ago and it's still bothering me. I wish I didn't let things like that bother me so much. I've already said things when I've been hurt and angry (I think we all have) but this person really meant it and I don't understand how some people can be so heartless.

    I'm sorry someone hurt you. Chin up sweetie. ♡

    I'm ok ❤😘 I hurt this person too but sometimes some words cut deeper than others. Just wish I wasn't so sensitive sometimes

    I can relate. Glad you're ok. ❤

    <3
  • mattig89ch
    mattig89ch Posts: 2,648 Member
    idk if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I had the weirdest experience today. I walked into my company bathroom, walked up to the mirror, and didn't recognize myself.

    there was actually a point of 'who's that? its supposed to be me in there' before I remembered that it had to be be in the mirror, and I had lost so much weight.
  • Xiao_Ya_
    Xiao_Ya_ Posts: 495 Member
    I'm thinking of my grandpa who sacrificed himself in a needless battle. Thinking about the circumstances surrounding that.
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    hello
  • isalsayourface123
    isalsayourface123 Posts: 2,153 Member
    All the cakes
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    right before i woke up this morning i heard this tiny hyper high-pitch chipmunk voice in my ear say “come out come out wherever u are!!!”

    i opened my eyes real fast and it was dawn

    I thought it might have been the bunny in the garden talking to her babies but how would i hear her?

    prolly just a dream

    Why you do dis to me Dimi?
  • Alzzi_2
    Alzzi_2 Posts: 2,149 Member
    Moving home
  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
    Getting up at 4am 😤
  • CoffeeAndContour
    CoffeeAndContour Posts: 1,466 Member
    Getting up at 4am 😤

    The early bird gets the worm!
  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
    Getting up at 4am 😤

    The early bird gets the worm!

    Let the bird bloody sleep!!
  • Alzzi_2
    Alzzi_2 Posts: 2,149 Member
    It nice finding people that arnt always cross and angry or finding fault.
  • liaoverbrook
    liaoverbrook Posts: 108 Member
    how unfair it is that my manager and line manager expect me to make all the drinks and clean the kitchen every day bc i'm admin and the only female
  • mattig89ch
    mattig89ch Posts: 2,648 Member
    how unfair it is that my manager and line manager expect me to make all the drinks and clean the kitchen every day bc i'm admin and the only female

    Are you sure the fact that your a woman has smoething to do with it? If so, you could go to HR about that, get them written up/fired
  • liaoverbrook
    liaoverbrook Posts: 108 Member
    mattig89ch wrote: »
    how unfair it is that my manager and line manager expect me to make all the drinks and clean the kitchen every day bc i'm admin and the only female

    Are you sure the fact that your a woman has smoething to do with it? If so, you could go to HR about that, get them written up/fired

    theyve told me that as i'm more 'nurturing', i should make drinks for clients/our operatives/three other staff members whenever they want one, regardless of what i'm doing. they've told me that as it looks better coming from a woman, i should be prepared to routinely offer drinks to members of meetings held in the office even if i'm not sitting in on them

  • Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings
    Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings Posts: 5,545 Member
    edited July 2019
    mattig89ch wrote: »
    how unfair it is that my manager and line manager expect me to make all the drinks and clean the kitchen every day bc i'm admin and the only female

    Are you sure the fact that your a woman has smoething to do with it? If so, you could go to HR about that, get them written up/fired

    theyve told me that as i'm more 'nurturing', i should make drinks for clients/our operatives/three other staff members whenever they want one, regardless of what i'm doing. they've told me that as it looks better coming from a woman, i should be prepared to routinely offer drinks to members of meetings held in the office even if i'm not sitting in on them

    Is any of it written in your job description?

    You're expected to make drinks for your co-workers?
  • mattig89ch
    mattig89ch Posts: 2,648 Member
    mattig89ch wrote: »
    how unfair it is that my manager and line manager expect me to make all the drinks and clean the kitchen every day bc i'm admin and the only female

    Are you sure the fact that your a woman has smoething to do with it? If so, you could go to HR about that, get them written up/fired

    theyve told me that as i'm more 'nurturing', i should make drinks for clients/our operatives/three other staff members whenever they want one, regardless of what i'm doing. they've told me that as it looks better coming from a woman, i should be prepared to routinely offer drinks to members of meetings held in the office even if i'm not sitting in on them

    Yea...that sounds like something HR should know about. If you could get it in writing or recording, that'd be even better. Less of a chance of it being your word vs theirs.
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    mattig89ch wrote: »
    how unfair it is that my manager and line manager expect me to make all the drinks and clean the kitchen every day bc i'm admin and the only female

    Are you sure the fact that your a woman has smoething to do with it? If so, you could go to HR about that, get them written up/fired

    theyve told me that as i'm more 'nurturing', i should make drinks for clients/our operatives/three other staff members whenever they want one, regardless of what i'm doing. they've told me that as it looks better coming from a woman, i should be prepared to routinely offer drinks to members of meetings held in the office even if i'm not sitting in on them

    That *kitten* would not fly with me. “Nurturing” in this case seems to be code for being female.

    I once worked for a really wonderful woman, a partner in the company, who absolutely forbade me to do any washing up in the office kitchen. She said it would set us back 30 years. I believe she was right.
  • Keep_on_cardio
    Keep_on_cardio Posts: 4,166 Member
    breasts are beautiful because they feed little humans and we shouldn’t have to hide them.

    Yet do not wear anything to show them, if little humans aren’t attached.

    Noted!
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