What's on your mind?
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TwitchyMagee wrote: »
You know what? You're really quite good at creating sentences that have never been said before in the history of humanity.
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I like you too. ❤️😊TwitchyMagee wrote: »
You know what? You're really quite good at creating sentences that have never been said before in the history of humanity.
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TwitchyMagee wrote: »
I like you too. ❤️😊TwitchyMagee wrote: »
You know what? You're really quite good at creating sentences that have never been said before in the history of humanity.
Please don't change.2 -
Bulls****7
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I just keep becoming more myself. Like a vampireTwitchyMagee wrote: »
I like you too. ❤️😊TwitchyMagee wrote: »
You know what? You're really quite good at creating sentences that have never been said before in the history of humanity.
Please don't change.
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Once she takes on 100% of her natural form the world will be thrown into chaos2
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Why do they tell you to play dead when you come across a bear? Did that work for someone?🤔
How will the bear know I’m playing dead? Maybe it’ll think I’m suicidal and will go for a little nibble just to realize that I’m mostly a fast food by-product and missing that sushi flavour? Keeps me up at night.1 -
Diddly_Squats wrote: »Why do they tell you to play dead when you come across a bear? Did that work for someone?🤔
How will the bear know I’m playing dead? Maybe it’ll think I’m suicidal and will go for a little nibble just to realize that I’m mostly a fast food by-product and missing that sushi flavour. Keeps me up at night.
What’s even worse is that it depends on the kind of bear. Excuse me, Bear would you mind doing a little spin so I can see if you have a shoulder hump?2 -
I look like a potato2
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Your self deprecation is both humorous and slightly heartbreaking.
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That’s easy for a non-potato to say.2
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TwitchyMagee wrote: »Diddly_Squats wrote: »Why do they tell you to play dead when you come across a bear? Did that work for someone?🤔
How will the bear know I’m playing dead? Maybe it’ll think I’m suicidal and will go for a little nibble just to realize that I’m mostly a fast food by-product and missing that sushi flavour. Keeps me up at night.
What’s even worse is that it depends on the kind of bear. Excuse me, Bear would you mind doing a little spin so I can see if you have a shoulder hump?
Why? Do we want humps?🤔 I mean, we do, but that kind too? Great, more stuff to keep me up at night. Humping bears!😂
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HUMPED bears.Diddly_Squats wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »Diddly_Squats wrote: »Why do they tell you to play dead when you come across a bear? Did that work for someone?🤔
How will the bear know I’m playing dead? Maybe it’ll think I’m suicidal and will go for a little nibble just to realize that I’m mostly a fast food by-product and missing that sushi flavour. Keeps me up at night.
What’s even worse is that it depends on the kind of bear. Excuse me, Bear would you mind doing a little spin so I can see if you have a shoulder hump?
Why? Do we want humps?🤔 I mean, we do, but that kind too? Great, more stuff to keep me up at night. Humping bears!😂
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I said to my son as we were driving through the countryside, “Now comes the greening.“
He looked at me and said, “You mean spring?”1 -
Have been single for a couple of years but not looking. Thought I'd try my hand at online dating. It is a freaking nightmare. Half ot the women on there assume from the start that you're just trying to bed them, probably having been conditioned to think that by the online experience. The other half are either trying to bed you, or their bio reads along the lines of:
"dnt kno wat 2 say. i luv real housewives, msg me"
I'm not even a snob, just a little bit picky. Didn't realise how difficult it would be, dating at this age.6 -
For some reason some people always make a point of telling people I'm a professional figure skater and I don't understand why. I like that I skated and I did as much as I did, I just find it funny that for some it's like it's my identity. I'll have to figure out how to leverage it for my new career 😂3
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Am I the only one that binges Christmas movies even if it is warm/hot outside? I just cannot help myself. Why? I guess it is because.....wait for it.....*introduces the meme*
Yep, this is why...
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More tales from the dating app, so far the funniest bio I've seen is:
"I am look for husband. I love you"
Also, amusingly, it keeps suggesting my ex's cousin.3 -
obstacle_overcomer wrote: »Am I the only one that binges Christmas movies even if it is warm/hot outside? I just cannot help myself. Why? I guess it is because.....wait for it.....*introduces the meme*
Yep, this is why...
I totally buy into Hallmark's Christmas in July!!!
So I think you're totally normal. 😂1 -
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TwitchyMagee wrote: »
The trouble is, I live out in the sticks and the dating pool is pretty small.
The app be like: Hey Dan, today we have for you, Mavis 58, or Taylor, 18.
I mean, I'm flexible with age, within reason. But c'mon.
Messaging the ex's cousin would be funny but all hell would break loose.3 -
Dating apps sound terrible.TwitchyMagee wrote: »
The trouble is, I live out in the sticks and the dating pool is pretty small.
The app be like: Hey Dan, today we have for you, Mavis 58, or Taylor, 18.
I mean, I'm flexible with age, within reason. But c'mon.
Messaging the ex's cousin would be funny but all hell would break loose.
Whatever happened to getting drunk down the pub and tumbling into bed with the person you’re going to regret waking up next to for the rest of your life?
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stupid dresses2
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I need some vinegar for salad dressing. I just finished my yard clean up and I don't feel like going out. But I need to make salad. Dilemmas1
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If I die and they bury me and they get me a head stone I think it would be cool to have a recipe on it and if there’s a recipe on it I’d like it to be something like
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can banana peppers, well-drained
1 packet instant ramen
barbecue sauce to taste
Combine in casserole dish and bake at 325° for 18 to 28 minutes.
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TwitchyMagee wrote: »If I die and they bury me and they get me a head stone I think it would be cool to have a recipe on it and if there’s a recipe on it I’d like it to be something like
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can banana peppers, well-drained
1 packet instant ramen
barbecue sauce to taste
Combine in casserole dish and bake at 325° for 18 to 28 minutes.
I'd totally have to try that recipe although it kind of scares me1 -
My cancer drive on Monday is a child and his mom to the children's hospital for the child. I like that I can help them by giving them a comfortable ride but man life is cruel sometimes3
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😂 Please don’t try that. I made it upAlinouveau2 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »If I die and they bury me and they get me a head stone I think it would be cool to have a recipe on it and if there’s a recipe on it I’d like it to be something like
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can banana peppers, well-drained
1 packet instant ramen
barbecue sauce to taste
Combine in casserole dish and bake at 325° for 18 to 28 minutes.
I'd totally have to try that recipe although it kind of scares me
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