Why do some people struggle with losing weight?
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I've never had a problem navigating around obese people in stores. Usually it's people who lack the common sense and manners to make space for others and let their kids run through the aisles like it's the playground who are the problem.
But seriously, I don't know your background in terms of weight history, but I'm not thrilled with how insensitive you're being. The universe works in funny ways, if you know what I mean.
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newheavensearth wrote: »I've never had a problem navigating around obese people in stores. Usually it's people who lack the common sense and manners to make space for others and let their kids run through the aisles like it's the playground who are the problem.
But seriously, I don't know your background in terms of weight history, but I'm not thrilled with how insensitive you're being. The universe works in funny ways, if you know what I mean.
I haven't the slightest clue what you mean, though I'll admit to being a former self-loathing member of Team Morbidly Obese. The difference between me and most people is that I projected my loathing outwardly as opposed to JUST hating myself. It actually made the whole cutting down to human shape thing easier.0 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »newheavensearth wrote: »I've never had a problem navigating around obese people in stores. Usually it's people who lack the common sense and manners to make space for others and let their kids run through the aisles like it's the playground who are the problem.
But seriously, I don't know your background in terms of weight history, but I'm not thrilled with how insensitive you're being. The universe works in funny ways, if you know what I mean.
I haven't the slightest clue what you mean, though I'll admit to being a former self-loathing member of Team Morbidly Obese. The difference between me and most people is that I projected my loathing outwardly as opposed to JUST hating myself. It actually made the whole cutting down to human shape thing easier.
Yeah me too. I was a rip roaring *kitten* who took my weight issues out on everyone. However, I now have a sense of empathy and sympathy for others still in their struggle. I don't hate them for their issues. Glad you did something constructive with your anger, but walking around with all that was not for me.2 -
newheavensearth wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »newheavensearth wrote: »I've never had a problem navigating around obese people in stores. Usually it's people who lack the common sense and manners to make space for others and let their kids run through the aisles like it's the playground who are the problem.
But seriously, I don't know your background in terms of weight history, but I'm not thrilled with how insensitive you're being. The universe works in funny ways, if you know what I mean.
I haven't the slightest clue what you mean, though I'll admit to being a former self-loathing member of Team Morbidly Obese. The difference between me and most people is that I projected my loathing outwardly as opposed to JUST hating myself. It actually made the whole cutting down to human shape thing easier.
Yeah me too. I was a rip roaring *kitten* who took my weight issues out on everyone. However, I now have a sense of empathy and sympathy for others still in their struggle. I don't hate them for their issues. Glad you did something constructive with your anger, but walking around with all that was not for me.
It's gotten a lot more mild as time has passed. I'm not sure if it's just the aging process, or I get less bitter about it, the further removed from it I am. I ran it through a calculator just for the hell of it the other day, and I'd have to eat something absurd like 6000 calories per day for a year and a half to get back to my original weight. These little realizations help me to see how incredibly stupid I would have to behave in order to ever be that person again.1 -
Christine_72 wrote: »EVERYONE gets in my way when i go shopping, for groceries, clothes whatever. I have my shopping list and map out my route and power walk through it. I hate, hate, hate shopping and like to get in and out as quickly as possible!
I live in a college town and it's the worst! I dread grocery shopping because of the herds of college kids wandering around, blocking isles, racing carts (yes, this happens on a regular basis), and then blocking the intersection outside of the store by illegally crossing to get to the bus stop (and don't even get me started on the buses ugh). We've started driving an extra 15 minutes out of the way just to go to a different store (the other one is 3 miles away from our house).1 -
crzycatlady1 wrote: »Christine_72 wrote: »EVERYONE gets in my way when i go shopping, for groceries, clothes whatever. I have my shopping list and map out my route and power walk through it. I hate, hate, hate shopping and like to get in and out as quickly as possible!
I live in a college town and it's the worst! I dread grocery shopping because of the herds of college kids wandering around, blocking isles, racing carts (yes, this happens on a regular basis), and then blocking the intersection outside of the store by illegally crossing to get to the bus stop (and don't even get me started on the buses ugh). We've started driving an extra 15 minutes out of the way just to go to a different store (the other one is 3 miles away from our house).
How irritating! And don't get me started when it's school holiday's.. Going to the store is like walking into the middle of a mob of squawking preschoolers arguing with their parents, who have yet to learn that having debates with 5 and 10 year olds does NOT work.
UUggghh the older i get, the less tolerance and patience i seem to have
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Gallowmere1984 wrote: »CattOfTheGarage wrote: »@Gallowmere1984 you did rather give the impression that it was their obesity in particular that was inconveniencing you, rather than just their obtuseness. If the people who blocked the aisles in my supermarket all happened to be accountants, I wouldn't go on an accountancy forum and start telling people they should change careers because they're inconveniencing me by being accountants.
Not that being fat is a career, nor is this a forum for people who are training to be fat or practicing professional obesity.
The more I consider this the weaker my metaphor becomes.
It did kind of fall apart, but I get your point. However, look at it this way: if every third car that got in your way or cut you off was a Porsche, regardless of color or model, you'd eventually start to feel like every damned Porsche driver is an inconsiderate douche.
Replace "Porsche" with "pick-up truck" and I can relate.
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I'm trying to understand it...
One of my family members who was overweight for 30 years never called people fat, never said anything remotely offensive about the overweight/obese.
Last year she lost a lot of weight. She looks stunning, but she now has started telling "fat" jokes, she has picked out friends and strangers to talk about their weight and making fun of these people. She has no feeling.
I don't think I comprehend not having compassion for folks.
They may be in your way at the store however you have no idea if they spent an hour in the gym for the first time that morning, perhaps they just started their diet and are taking up the isle trying to read nutrition labels (sorry folks in the Hawaiian state if I've slowed you up I'm just trying to figure out my macros:)), you don't know if they are in the scooter because they had a car accident (overweight folks drive too) or cancer.
Having said all that...
Sometimes when I'm in a hurry it seems every single person begins walking in slow motion, I give an equal opportunity for all folks to annoy me:).
Well I think there's a psychological basis in that TBH
You're obese - you spend years yo-yoing from one diet to the next losing weight, putting it on, nothing sticks you start rationalising, picking up on factors that make losing weight and maintaining weight loss more challenging and they become your reasons, they become your excuses. And you avoid focusing on how much you hate it, how uneasy you are in your body.
Then you find a way that works for you and you achieve success and your internal hatred colours your perceptions of others in your former state. Only now you've gone from a position of it's impossible to recognition of your own excuses and you project those
And you figure it's ok because you used to be obese so you have special dispensation to project that distaste
Not saying it's right
I'm an ex smoker. I physically loathe smoking now and I think those who smoke are idiots 1 -
It's actually kind of funny, I wrote about this for another website today. I'll go into some details about it here..
The reason I think that most people struggle to lose weight is because they don't give it 100%. They're in it about 50%, but for some reason think they are in it 100% and complain about how "counting calories doesn't work!" or "dieting is bologna!".
Look at anyone who has succeeded in either their weight loss or weight gain journey. They were in it 100%, I know I was when I wanted to lose 30lbs. I would pack my gym bag the night before, wake up early, hit the gym, do my cardio, cook a delicious breakfast, and stick with my diet throughout the day.
I even pre-made my meals for the entire week. If the weather outside was crap (I live in Canada so the winter here suck *kitten*), I would still walk my *kitten* over to the gym because I didn't have a car. I didn't let anything stop me from reaching my goal. In a way, I became obsessed with losing weight, that's how bad I wanted it, and that's how bad you guys should want it.
Yeah sure, some of you guys would say "that sounds pretty damn unhealthy SuperStarGalaxy". Well, me not liking how my body looked was pretty damn unhealthy too and it affected my life in many negative ways.
Another thing is that some of you guys just don't give it enough time. I mean, dieting for 1 week and saying you're not seeing any results? Man, if you think it's that easy, you're living in a dream. You have to give it at least 30 days before you can even say it doesn't work, but I bet that you will see some kind of results. Not getting the results you want after 30 days? Adjust it from there and try again. Dieting and losing weight is both a lifestyle and habit change. If you don't realize this, you'll gain back the weight you lost in no time.
Sorry if this came out blunt, but this is the honest truth to losing weight and why I believe most people struggle with it. Btw, this is the article I wrote about this topic in more detail.
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superstargalaxy wrote: »It's actually kind of funny, I wrote about this for another website today. I'll go into some details about it here..
The reason I think that most people struggle to lose weight is because they don't give it 100%. They're in it about 50%, but for some reason think they are in it 100% and complain about how "counting calories doesn't work!" or "dieting is bologna!".
Look at anyone who has succeeded in either their weight loss or weight gain journey. They were in it 100%, I know I was when I wanted to lose 30lbs. I would pack my gym bag the night before, wake up early, hit the gym, do my cardio, cook a delicious breakfast, and stick with my diet throughout the day.
I even pre-made my meals for the entire week. If the weather outside was crap (I live in Canada so the winter here suck *kitten*), I would still walk my *kitten* over to the gym because I didn't have a car. I didn't let anything stop me from reaching my goal. In a way, I became obsessed with losing weight, that's how bad I wanted it, and that's how bad you guys should want it.
Yeah sure, some of you guys would say "that sounds pretty damn unhealthy SuperStarGalaxy". Well, me not liking how my body looked was pretty damn unhealthy too and it affected my life in many negative ways.
Another thing is that some of you guys just don't give it enough time. I mean, dieting for 1 week and saying you're not seeing any results? Man, if you think it's that easy, you're living in a dream. You have to give it at least 30 days before you can even say it doesn't work, but I bet that you will see some kind of results. Not getting the results you want after 30 days? Adjust it from there and try again. Dieting and losing weight is both a lifestyle and habit change. If you don't realize this, you'll gain back the weight you lost in no time.
Sorry if this came out blunt, but this is the honest truth to losing weight and why I believe most people struggle with it. Btw, this is the article I wrote about this topic in more detail.
I would certainly agree with most of yours points, and the only one I disagree with is more of a slight nitpick than anything: that being the one week results. I have of course, found this to be more true while in a leaner state.
For example, on my current cut, I'm only five days into a two week cycle, and the visual as well as scale difference is already pretty significant. Now, I won't go into the whys, but just know, week to week changes are definitely noticable when one is rather extreme in their approach, and it's heavily magnified when already relatively leaned out. Google bodyrecomposition cat 3 log if you want to see some examples of what I do from the morbidly obese side, instead of that of a leaner person, then you can tick down through 2 and 1 to see where it can eventually take you.
Not advocating for it, just clearing up why I disagree on that point.0 -
@superstargalaxy that's cute that you walk your kitten to the gym, do they have a tiny treadmill for it?
@Gallowmere1984 the issue often happens when beginners start reducing their calories and doing a heavy exercise regime at the same time, and the water retention can easily exceed the amount of weight lost. It's a common enough problem, though it may affect you less as when you start a cut you are probably only changing your diet and not upping training intensity at the same time.
Also you're a guy so you are not subject to the water retention lottery in the same way. A woman starting a new lifestyle can easily see no significant scale results for 2 or 3 weeks if she's unlucky with water retention. You need a lot of persistence to get through that. And the visible difference is just not there when you're very overweight and only losing a tiny percentage of your body fat every week.4 -
CattOfTheGarage wrote: »@superstargalaxy that's cute that you walk your kitten to the gym, do they have a tiny treadmill for it?
@Gallowmere1984 the issue often happens when beginners start reducing their calories and doing a heavy exercise regime at the same time, and the water retention can easily exceed the amount of weight lost. It's a common enough problem, though it may affect you less as when you start a cut you are probably only changing your diet and not upping training intensity at the same time.
Also you're a guy so you are not subject to the water retention lottery in the same way. A woman starting a new lifestyle can easily see no significant scale results for 2 or 3 weeks if she's unlucky with water retention. You need a lot of persistence to get through that. And the visible difference is just not there when you're very overweight and only losing a tiny percentage of your body fat every week.
Oh yeah no, I'm not dumb. My lifting frequency gets reduced when I am cutting.
As for the water thing, yeah I definitely get it. Interestingly, that's one reason I fully support people going to low-carb route to start. There's the psychological aspect to dieting that many vets here often ignore, and women especially often see a huge drop in scale weight for the first couple of week of LC. Yes, it's all water, but it gives them a sense of progression to work with until the CICO equation can catch up, and the fat loss process really starts. This is especially true when one just dives right into dieting, and may have been eating an excessive surplus in the days leading up.0 -
My take on the subject of the OP:
- Some people aren't serious enough, or too serious; don't put in enough effort, or exhaust themselves.
- They don't know what's essential and universal and what's details and personal, fluff, or downright scam/woo.
- They don't have the necessary insight to suspect that they lack that ^ simple insight, and thus makes no attempt to achieve it.
- They are just too scared and/or overwhelmed to get their s together.
- They don't make sure all their efforts together create a watertight structure - it can be believing that exercise means they can eat more than it really does, having cheat days where they eat up the whole week's calorie deficit, not double checking database entries, exercise to the extent that normal daily activity suffers, or "healthy, that means low calorie, so you can eat a lot of this".
- They make it hard for themselves by surrounding themselves with temptations. I don't think you HAVE TO keep ice cream in your freezer or bake cookies if you struggle with moderating those foods.
- Conversely, they demonize certain foods and give them too much power.
- They are used to (through thorough marketing) constantly feeling full as the norm, and (the thought of) getting hungry is scary.
- They "self-medicate" with food, and keep doing it, even though it doesn't fix a thing.
- They feel entitled to eat, whatever, whenever, in whichever amounts, and feel sorry for themselves when they realize that they need to moderate.
- They think that they have to eat some foods and must stay away from other foods. There is no pattern to this except that it's usually "food that tastes good" that has to be avoided and "foul tasting foods" that must be eaten.
- They attach moral to food and eating, so that tasty food is bad, and you must punish yourself for overindulging (like getting overweight isn't punishment enough).
- They are impatient and would like the weight to come off yesterday.
- They don't measure and/or interpret their results correctly. Real weight change takes several weeks of reliable data points before it becomes discernible on the scale.
- They seem to believe in magic and disregard science/math/logic.
- They think that they have to be perfect, and that anything but perfection means total failure.
- They think that one day can ruin everything and that one day can produce remarkable results.
- They don't understand that they need to work on habits, environment, emotions and cognition, and maybe their relationships, sleep, working conditions and lots more too.
- They can lose weight just fine, but regain, because they didn't find a long term solution to their problem(s), or think that the problem is "fixed" the minute weight goal is reached.
- They have trouble with saying "no".
- They have trouble with taking personal responsibility.
- They prefer weight problems to be something outside themselves and losing/maintaining beyond their ability, so they don't have to mess around with it.
- They listen to "experts" that tell them what they (think they) want to hear, not experienced and knowledgeable people who tell them "inconvenient" truths.
- They think the effort is "too much" and wait till "Monday" (which never comes).
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kommodevaran wrote: »My take on the subject of the OP:
- Some people aren't serious enough, or too serious; don't put in enough effort, or exhaust themselves.
- They don't know what's essential and universal and what's details and personal, fluff, or downright scam/woo.
- They don't have the necessary insight to suspect that they lack that ^ simple insight, and thus makes no attempt to achieve it.
- They are just too scared and/or overwhelmed to get their s together.
- They don't make sure all their efforts together create a watertight structure - it can be believing that exercise means they can eat more than it really does, having cheat days where they eat up the whole week's calorie deficit, not double checking database entries, exercise to the extent that normal daily activity suffers, or "healthy, that means low calorie, so you can eat a lot of this".
- They make it hard for themselves by surrounding themselves with temptations. I don't think you HAVE TO keep ice cream in your freezer or bake cookies if you struggle with moderating those foods.
- Conversely, they demonize certain foods and give them too much power.
- They are used to (through thorough marketing) constantly feeling full as the norm, and (the thought of) getting hungry is scary.
- They "self-medicate" with food, and keep doing it, even though it doesn't fix a thing.
- They feel entitled to eat, whatever, whenever, in whichever amounts, and feel sorry for themselves when they realize that they need to moderate.
- They think that they have to eat some foods and must stay away from other foods. There is no pattern to this except that it's usually "food that tastes good" that has to be avoided and "foul tasting foods" that must be eaten.
- They attach moral to food and eating, so that tasty food is bad, and you must punish yourself for overindulging (like getting overweight isn't punishment enough).
- They are impatient and would like the weight to come off yesterday.
- They don't measure and/or interpret their results correctly. Real weight change takes several weeks of reliable data points before it becomes discernible on the scale.
- They seem to believe in magic and disregard science/math/logic.
- They think that they have to be perfect, and that anything but perfection means total failure.
- They think that one day can ruin everything and that one day can produce remarkable results.
- They don't understand that they need to work on habits, environment, emotions and cognition, and maybe their relationships, sleep, working conditions and lots more too.
- They can lose weight just fine, but regain, because they didn't find a long term solution to their problem(s), or think that the problem is "fixed" the minute weight goal is reached.
- They have trouble with saying "no".
- They have trouble with taking personal responsibility.
- They prefer weight problems to be something outside themselves and losing/maintaining beyond their ability, so they don't have to mess around with it.
- They listen to "experts" that tell them what they (think they) want to hear, not experienced and knowledgeable people who tell them "inconvenient" truths.
- They think the effort is "too much" and wait till "Monday" (which never comes).
I agree with you. I also think that people are so used to thinking that weight loss is complicated, or there's a trick to it and if you find out what that is you'll lose easily. The simplicity of CICO just can't be true.3 -
CattOfTheGarage wrote: »@superstargalaxy that's cute that you walk your kitten to the gym, do they have a tiny treadmill for it?
I was so confused by what you meant and then I realized the built in filter they have here haha.0 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »I'm trying to understand it...
One of my family members who was overweight for 30 years never called people fat, never said anything remotely offensive about the overweight/obese.
Last year she lost a lot of weight. She looks stunning, but she now has started telling "fat" jokes, she has picked out friends and strangers to talk about their weight and making fun of these people. She has no feeling.
I don't think I comprehend not having compassion for folks.
They may be in your way at the store however you have no idea if they spent an hour in the gym for the first time that morning, perhaps they just started their diet and are taking up the isle trying to read nutrition labels (sorry folks in the Hawaiian state if I've slowed you up I'm just trying to figure out my macros:)), you don't know if they are in the scooter because they had a car accident (overweight folks drive too) or cancer.
Having said all that...
Sometimes when I'm in a hurry it seems every single person begins walking in slow motion, I give an equal opportunity for all folks to annoy me:).
Fair points around, and I will admit to being in an automatically biased state. My local Walmart is only two and a half miles from my apartment, so I usually walk there to shop. Of course, after walking almost three miles in a weighted vest, anyone moving at...average American speed is going to grind the hell out of my nerves.
My question is: why the weighted vest? Are you in a high risk job like law inforcement? or with your delicate way of talking to people, have you angered people enough in your area that you have to wear that vest for protection? Just curious.....
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crzycatlady1 wrote: »Christine_72 wrote: »EVERYONE gets in my way when i go shopping, for groceries, clothes whatever. I have my shopping list and map out my route and power walk through it. I hate, hate, hate shopping and like to get in and out as quickly as possible!
I live in a college town and it's the worst! I dread grocery shopping because of the herds of college kids wandering around, blocking isles, racing carts (yes, this happens on a regular basis), and then blocking the intersection outside of the store by illegally crossing to get to the bus stop (and don't even get me started on the buses ugh). We've started driving an extra 15 minutes out of the way just to go to a different store (the other one is 3 miles away from our house).
Yep. I shop at 7am on Saturday now to avoid them.
And they're largely young, thin, fit, and well-dressed (given the cost of the two closest universities). So I think the biggest problem is that young thin people are constantly getting in my way as they compare pictures of vegetables on their phones to the veggies on the shelves and try to figure out if they're getting the right kind of arugula.3 -
I think it there is an expectations of a large loss in a short period of time. Discouragement sets in and so does self-sabotage with that kind of expectations. Weight loss takes a long time and you have to settle in for the long run and lose at a pace that fits with your lifestyle and keeps you sane.1
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snowflake954 wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »I'm trying to understand it...
One of my family members who was overweight for 30 years never called people fat, never said anything remotely offensive about the overweight/obese.
Last year she lost a lot of weight. She looks stunning, but she now has started telling "fat" jokes, she has picked out friends and strangers to talk about their weight and making fun of these people. She has no feeling.
I don't think I comprehend not having compassion for folks.
They may be in your way at the store however you have no idea if they spent an hour in the gym for the first time that morning, perhaps they just started their diet and are taking up the isle trying to read nutrition labels (sorry folks in the Hawaiian state if I've slowed you up I'm just trying to figure out my macros:)), you don't know if they are in the scooter because they had a car accident (overweight folks drive too) or cancer.
Having said all that...
Sometimes when I'm in a hurry it seems every single person begins walking in slow motion, I give an equal opportunity for all folks to annoy me:).
Fair points around, and I will admit to being in an automatically biased state. My local Walmart is only two and a half miles from my apartment, so I usually walk there to shop. Of course, after walking almost three miles in a weighted vest, anyone moving at...average American speed is going to grind the hell out of my nerves.
My question is: why the weighted vest? Are you in a high risk job like law inforcement? or with your delicate way of talking to people, have you angered people enough in your area that you have to wear that vest for protection? Just curious.....
Weighted vests aren't bulletproof vests. It's simply a vest with a bunch of weight added to it to increase resistance. A lot of the thermo adaption we see with weight loss comes from the loss of bodyweight. Wearing the vest, I get the same resistance walking at my current weight, as I did when I was 200 lbs.
ETA: also no, you'd be amazed at how quickly people kowtow and turn into quivering sissies about their behavior if you actually say something to them assertively. This is especially true when other members of the public laugh audibly at the statements you make. It's almost like a lot of people are thinking the same things that I say; they just don't say them.1 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »I'm trying to understand it...
One of my family members who was overweight for 30 years never called people fat, never said anything remotely offensive about the overweight/obese.
Last year she lost a lot of weight. She looks stunning, but she now has started telling "fat" jokes, she has picked out friends and strangers to talk about their weight and making fun of these people. She has no feeling.
I don't think I comprehend not having compassion for folks.
They may be in your way at the store however you have no idea if they spent an hour in the gym for the first time that morning, perhaps they just started their diet and are taking up the isle trying to read nutrition labels (sorry folks in the Hawaiian state if I've slowed you up I'm just trying to figure out my macros:)), you don't know if they are in the scooter because they had a car accident (overweight folks drive too) or cancer.
Having said all that...
Sometimes when I'm in a hurry it seems every single person begins walking in slow motion, I give an equal opportunity for all folks to annoy me:).
Fair points around, and I will admit to being in an automatically biased state. My local Walmart is only two and a half miles from my apartment, so I usually walk there to shop. Of course, after walking almost three miles in a weighted vest, anyone moving at...average American speed is going to grind the hell out of my nerves.
My question is: why the weighted vest? Are you in a high risk job like law inforcement? or with your delicate way of talking to people, have you angered people enough in your area that you have to wear that vest for protection? Just curious.....
Weighted vests aren't bulletproof vests. It's simply a vest with a bunch of weight added to it to increase resistance. A lot of the thermo adaption we see with weight loss comes from the loss of bodyweight. Wearing the vest, I get the same resistance walking at my current weight, as I did when I was 200 lbs.
ETA: also no, you'd be amazed at how quickly people kowtow and turn into quivering sissies about their behavior if you actually say something to them assertively. This is especially true when other members of the public laugh audibly at the statements you make. It's almost like a lot of people are thinking the same things that I say; they just don't say them.
I would agree that there are people that are thinking what you are saying, so in a way you're doing a service speaking your mind--I don't have a problem with it myself. However, if wearing a weighted vest makes you crabby while shopping, you might want to re-evaluate if it's necessary on those trips.1
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