Ask a mortician
Replies
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MrStabbems wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »have you ever chatted with em(the deados) lilhearsy? or even a brief exchange?
If I'm having trouble finding an artery or vein I mumble something about "work with me" or where the heck is it? I know you have one."
was it difficult at first getting into and settling in the profession? did you have a eww or creepy vibe that slowly subsided? from what I've seen of you in the forums ima say no but ya never know!
It's hard to find a job once you get out of mortuary college. Most individuals don't get out of the business unless they die or retire. It's hard to get your foot in the door because most are family owned.
I spoke to my boss several times before I started college and asked for a job. He told me no each time. I worked night shift at a nursing home during school and I hated it with a passion. After a really crappy shift, I called him crying "Please let me have a job. I can't take working at this hell hole any longer. You can always fire me if it doesn't work out." He said, "Come by tomorrow and I'll see what I can do." I've been at the funeral home for 5 years now
I've never been creeped out by it. I think the living are scarier than the dead.11 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »have you ever chatted with em(the deados) lilhearsy? or even a brief exchange?
If I'm having trouble finding an artery or vein I mumble something about "work with me" or where the heck is it? I know you have one."
was it difficult at first getting into and settling in the profession? did you have a eww or creepy vibe that slowly subsided? from what I've seen of you in the forums ima say no but ya never know!
It's hard to find a job once you get out of mortuary college. Most individuals don't get out of the business unless they die or retire. It's hard to get your foot in the door because most are family owned.
I spoke to my boss several times before I started college and asked for a job. He told me no each time. I worked night shift at a nursing home during school and I hated it with a passion. After a really crappy shift, I called him crying "Please let me have a job. I can't take working at this hell hole any longer. You can always fire me if it doesn't work out." He said, "Come by tomorrow and I'll see what I can do." I've been at the funeral home for 5 years now
I've never been creeped out by it. I think the living are scarier than the dead.
What was the curriculum like in college/uni? i'm assuming biochem, thanatochem, anatomy, pathology microbiology?
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Anatomy, Pathology, Microbiology, Chemistry, Psychology, Embalming I/II, Restorative Art, Ethics, Marketing, Business Management, Law, Math, Accounting, Clinicals......
I probably left something out, but that's the majority of it.2 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »katanaavion wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »@_unsteady_ If things aren't going right I'll say " Come on, work with me Mr/Mrs _______"
I do a lot of thinking when we have a young person . I think about all the potential that has been lost and wonder how their lives would be different if they wouldn't have died.
This makes me feel better a bit. My 9 year old son died several weeks ago, and hearing that the people who worked on him may have thought about his life and the what could have been makes me feel better somehow.
*hugs*People who lose a spouse are called widows and children who lose their parents are called orphans, but there is no word for a parent who loses a child because we are naturally supposed to go first. I can't imagine the grief you are going through, it's a loss like no other.
If you need to vent, I'm here.
It took me two lunch hours to read this whole thread and I made it fine...until this. Broke my heart. @katanaavion I am so very sorry for your loss. My own son is an adult now, but I can't even fathom the pain of losing a child.
@LittleHearseDriver - God bless you. What a kind person you are to even make such an offer to a stranger. The job you do is...magnificent. Your desire to help others in their times of sorrow shows the very best of humanity.
Now...after I wipe tears...my question is silly.
Is it true that they don't put shoes on the deceased? I mean, nice suit or dress and bare feet? That seems odd, but why bother? You even mentioned pantyhose. I guess the question on that part is, why would they care about hose? No one ever sees the legs. I don't even remember if we gave shoes to the funeral home when my parents passed on...it was a long time ago. I'm 100% certain I wouldn't have expected them to put Mama in pantyhose though.
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i have a joke that i am DYING TO TELL, why do grave yards have fences around them? because people are dying to get in.0
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Anatomy, Pathology, Microbiology, Chemistry, Psychology, Embalming I/II, Restorative Art, Ethics, Marketing, Business Management, Law, Math, Accounting, Clinicals......
I probably left something out, but that's the majority of it.
Psychology? for grief counselling etc?1 -
LadyLilion wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »katanaavion wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »@_unsteady_ If things aren't going right I'll say " Come on, work with me Mr/Mrs _______"
I do a lot of thinking when we have a young person . I think about all the potential that has been lost and wonder how their lives would be different if they wouldn't have died.
This makes me feel better a bit. My 9 year old son died several weeks ago, and hearing that the people who worked on him may have thought about his life and the what could have been makes me feel better somehow.
*hugs*People who lose a spouse are called widows and children who lose their parents are called orphans, but there is no word for a parent who loses a child because we are naturally supposed to go first. I can't imagine the grief you are going through, it's a loss like no other.
If you need to vent, I'm here.
It took me two lunch hours to read this whole thread and I made it fine...until this. Broke my heart. @katanaavion I am so very sorry for your loss. My own son is an adult now, but I can't even fathom the pain of losing a child.
@LittleHearseDriver - God bless you. What a kind person you are to even make such an offer to a stranger. The job you do is...magnificent. Your desire to help others in their times of sorrow shows the very best of humanity.
Now...after I wipe tears...my question is silly.
Is it true that they don't put shoes on the deceased? I mean, nice suit or dress and bare feet? That seems odd, but why bother. You even mentioned pantyhose. I guess the question on that part is, why would they care about hose? No one ever sees the legs.
We put on whatever clothing items the family brings us. Shoes are pointless, but if it's what they want it doesn't matter to me. People often tell us they want socks on them because they don't want their feet to get cold.
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MrStabbems wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Anatomy, Pathology, Microbiology, Chemistry, Psychology, Embalming I/II, Restorative Art, Ethics, Marketing, Business Management, Law, Math, Accounting, Clinicals......
I probably left something out, but that's the majority of it.
Psychology? for grief counselling etc?MrStabbems wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Anatomy, Pathology, Microbiology, Chemistry, Psychology, Embalming I/II, Restorative Art, Ethics, Marketing, Business Management, Law, Math, Accounting, Clinicals......
I probably left something out, but that's the majority of it.
Psychology? for grief counselling etc?
Yep, Grief Counseling is one that I forgot and also Funeral Customs.2 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Anatomy, Pathology, Microbiology, Chemistry, Psychology, Embalming I/II, Restorative Art, Ethics, Marketing, Business Management, Law, Math, Accounting, Clinicals......
I probably left something out, but that's the majority of it.
Psychology? for grief counselling etc?MrStabbems wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Anatomy, Pathology, Microbiology, Chemistry, Psychology, Embalming I/II, Restorative Art, Ethics, Marketing, Business Management, Law, Math, Accounting, Clinicals......
I probably left something out, but that's the majority of it.
Psychology? for grief counselling etc?
Yep, Grief Counseling is one that I forgot and also Funeral Customs.
what about upselling ?
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I request forgiveness for my morbid sense of humor in advance:
Harry and Alfie (the two local necrophiliacs) are walking past the the town mortuary.
Alfie turns to Harry and says.. "hey, wanna nip in for a cold one?"
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Anatomy, Pathology, Microbiology, Chemistry, Psychology, Embalming I/II, Restorative Art, Ethics, Marketing, Business Management, Law, Math, Accounting, Clinicals......
I probably left something out, but that's the majority of it.
Psychology? for grief counselling etc?MrStabbems wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Anatomy, Pathology, Microbiology, Chemistry, Psychology, Embalming I/II, Restorative Art, Ethics, Marketing, Business Management, Law, Math, Accounting, Clinicals......
I probably left something out, but that's the majority of it.
Psychology? for grief counselling etc?
Yep, Grief Counseling is one that I forgot and also Funeral Customs.
ahh with customs is that multifaith? do you have to learn or at least know of the different costumes in say Christianity/Islam/Hinduism etc or just like state customs on what should and shouldn't be done.0 -
princess0lexi wrote: »i have a joke that i am DYING TO TELL, why do grave yards have fences around them? because people are dying to get in.
I was going to write a lengthy joke about a graveyard, but there was no plot.5 -
I've been reading this thread off & on for two days to catch up. I have a friend that gave up being a Pastor to become a mortician. I didn't understand how he came to that idea & made the decision, but like you said the living are scarier than the dead. You are truly a remarkable person to do this with the grace that you've expressed. Your responses have been candid & graceful as well as humorous sometimes. Thanks.4
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My dad told me that if you were living within a 50 mile radius of our towns graveyard, you couldn't be buried there.
I asked him: why?
He replied: Because you're living within a 50 mile radius of the graveyard.9 -
I bet that joke goes right over a lot of people's heads. 1
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FireTurtle75 wrote: » I bet that joke goes right over a lot of people's heads.
it might,I though it was brilliant2 -
Motorsheen wrote: »My dad told me that if you were living within a 50 mile radius of our towns graveyard, you couldn't be buried there.
I asked him: why?
He replied: Because you're living within a 50 mile radius of the graveyard.
Avocado_Angel wrote: »I was chatting to some guy a while back and he said a new thing was to bury people stood upright with a bag attached to the top containing tree seeds, that way it saves more room and also the dead person can cultivate a tree I thought that was a nice way to be remembered and saves space
Ah but a tree doesn't save space so it kinda negates the point a bit.0 -
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MrStabbems wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »My dad told me that if you were living within a 50 mile radius of our towns graveyard, you couldn't be buried there.
I asked him: why?
He replied: Because you're living within a 50 mile radius of the graveyard.Avocado_Angel wrote: »I was chatting to some guy a while back and he said a new thing was to bury people stood upright with a bag attached to the top containing tree seeds, that way it saves more room and also the dead person can cultivate a tree I thought that was a nice way to be remembered and saves space
Ah but a tree doesn't save space so it kinda negates the point a bit.
save space from what?0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »My dad told me that if you were living within a 50 mile radius of our towns graveyard, you couldn't be buried there.
I asked him: why?
He replied: Because you're living within a 50 mile radius of the graveyard.Avocado_Angel wrote: »I was chatting to some guy a while back and he said a new thing was to bury people stood upright with a bag attached to the top containing tree seeds, that way it saves more room and also the dead person can cultivate a tree I thought that was a nice way to be remembered and saves space
Ah but a tree doesn't save space so it kinda negates the point a bit.
save space from what?
the idea that there isnt enough space for normal burials in big cities. They had the idea originally to bury people 3 or 4 at a time per plot on top of each other, then i think upright to save space for more burials. This is the tree upright one.
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@Avocado_Angel You can pretty much do that with your ashes too after being cremated. They can be an essential component in fertilization and for adjusting soil pH if it's too acidic to help stuff grow better, but you would have to spread them over a large area otherwise it would kill everything. Wood ash is used this way. You could probably have them mixed in with cement to make a planter or something, maybe a bird bath.0
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MrStabbems wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »My dad told me that if you were living within a 50 mile radius of our towns graveyard, you couldn't be buried there.
I asked him: why?
He replied: Because you're living within a 50 mile radius of the graveyard.Avocado_Angel wrote: »I was chatting to some guy a while back and he said a new thing was to bury people stood upright with a bag attached to the top containing tree seeds, that way it saves more room and also the dead person can cultivate a tree I thought that was a nice way to be remembered and saves space
Ah but a tree doesn't save space so it kinda negates the point a bit.
save space from what?
the idea that there isnt enough space for normal burials in big cities. They had the idea originally to bury people 3 or 4 at a time per plot on top of each other, then i think upright to save space for more burials. This is the tree upright one.
ashes, dust, oceans.....
plenty of room0 -
FireTurtle75 wrote: »@Avocado_Angel You can pretty much do that with your ashes too after being cremated. They can be an essential component in fertilization and for adjusting soil pH if it's too acidic to help stuff grow better, but you would have to spread them over a large area otherwise it would kill everything. Wood ash is used this way. You could probably have them mixed in with cement to make a planter or something, maybe a bird bath.
some folks have jewellery made from ashes.2 -
MrStabbems wrote: »FireTurtle75 wrote: »@Avocado_Angel You can pretty much do that with your ashes too after being cremated. They can be an essential component in fertilization and for adjusting soil pH if it's too acidic to help stuff grow better, but you would have to spread them over a large area otherwise it would kill everything. Wood ash is used this way. You could probably have them mixed in with cement to make a planter or something, maybe a bird bath.
some folks have jewellery made from ashes.
really, no thanks
....just dump me in the ocean or at the 50 yard line of the Michigan / Ohio State game and I'm good.0 -
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Provided you don't live within city limits, you can legally be buried on private property in the state I live in. The location of the gravesite just has to be recorded in the property deed. I'm guessing future potential buyers might want to know everything they're getting when they buy the land...
Embalming is also optional, provided the burial happens within a couple of days. 0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »My dad told me that if you were living within a 50 mile radius of our towns graveyard, you couldn't be buried there.
I asked him: why?
He replied: Because you're living within a 50 mile radius of the graveyard.Avocado_Angel wrote: »I was chatting to some guy a while back and he said a new thing was to bury people stood upright with a bag attached to the top containing tree seeds, that way it saves more room and also the dead person can cultivate a tree I thought that was a nice way to be remembered and saves space
Ah but a tree doesn't save space so it kinda negates the point a bit.
save space from what?
the idea that there isnt enough space for normal burials in big cities. They had the idea originally to bury people 3 or 4 at a time per plot on top of each other, then i think upright to save space for more burials. This is the tree upright one.
ashes, dust, oceans.....
plenty of room
Yeah...some folks like to be buried with their loved ones in plots and cemeteries. Others done like the idea of being cremated what with all the boney fragments n *kitten*. It's not the fine dust you see on tv.
Also with spreading ashes its really a one time deal. there isn't a place to go to sit a talk with them, or a place to focus when grieving. Sure you can get a headstone etc but they aren't 'there'.0
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