Ask a mortician

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  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    When I die I want to go to the ladies cosmetic counter and lingerie departments at Neiman Marcus.
  • MrStabbems
    MrStabbems Posts: 3,110 Member
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    My dad told me that if you were living within a 50 mile radius of our towns graveyard, you couldn't be buried there.

    I asked him: why?

    He replied: Because you're living within a 50 mile radius of the graveyard.

    :|
    I was chatting to some guy a while back and he said a new thing was to bury people stood upright with a bag attached to the top containing tree seeds, that way it saves more room and also the dead person can cultivate a tree I thought that was a nice way to be remembered and saves space

    Ah but a tree doesn't save space so it kinda negates the point a bit.

    save space from what?

    the idea that there isnt enough space for normal burials in big cities. They had the idea originally to bury people 3 or 4 at a time per plot on top of each other, then i think upright to save space for more burials. This is the tree upright one.

    ashes, dust, oceans.....

    plenty of room

    Yeah...some folks like to be buried with their loved ones in plots and cemeteries. Others done like the idea of being cremated what with all the boney fragments n *kitten*. It's not the fine dust you see on tv.

    Also with spreading ashes its really a one time deal. there isn't a place to go to sit a talk with them, or a place to focus when grieving. Sure you can get a headstone etc but they aren't 'there'.

    Actually I have to disagree I couldn't afford to bury my mum, I kept her ashes for about a year maybe more. But when I was ready I went with my bro, I scattered her ashes around a tree that was beside where lots of daffodils grow. The exact place I used to always pick her daffodils for mothers day. So although I couldn't afford a final resting place I know she is scattered at those flowers and probably providing nutrients for that tree, so as I watch it grow I can think some part of her is still here. Plus me and wee brother have a place to visit if we feel like it, and know that's her grave. It's her grave to me. Plus I can pick daffodils and think maybe, just maybe she helped them grow.

    Crazy days

    Yeah i guess that is one way to do it. Like pinuplove said its all personal. When i was talking about the one time deal i was thinking more towards scattering at sea or in the wind.
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  • Bruceapple
    Bruceapple Posts: 2,027 Member
    Thank you LHD for you insightful comments and answers to our questions.

    But one (joke ) question remains: What about Zombies?
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    Bruceapple wrote: »
    Thank you LHD for you insightful comments and answers to our questions.

    But one (joke ) question remains: What about Zombies?

    I'll save you
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  • nevadavis1
    nevadavis1 Posts: 331 Member
    edited June 2017
    pinuplove wrote: »
    Where and how people grieve is so personal. My parents were both buried in the traditional way, with a cemetery plot, headstone, etc., but I never go there. I don't feel any particular connection to the place their physical remains are. I feel much more when I smell the brand of spearmint gum my dad used to give me or hear an old song my mom liked on the radio :smile:

    My grandmother is buried in a place where my grandfather also intends to be buried. It just happens that this particular cemetery is a tourist attraction. It was very strange having a bus full of tourists slow down to gawk at our funeral. I haven't been back since the funeral because of that feeling. Though I have to say that everyone working there was incredibly lovely and so kind. It's just strange to have people walking through and snapping photos in the middle of your grief.

    Edit: Actually my other grandmother and my great grandparents are buried in the same cemetery too. I haven't visited their graves in years either. We used to go as a family twice a year to put wreaths or flowers, but since my siblings and I have grown up and scattered we don't do that any longer.
  • browneyedgirl749
    browneyedgirl749 Posts: 4,984 Member
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    have you ever chatted with em(the deados) lilhearsy? or even a brief exchange?

    Like Ducky does on NCIS?
  • rdevol
    rdevol Posts: 278 Member
    nevadavis1 wrote: »
    pinuplove wrote: »
    Where and how people grieve is so personal. My parents were both buried in the traditional way, with a cemetery plot, headstone, etc., but I never go there. I don't feel any particular connection to the place their physical remains are. I feel much more when I smell the brand of spearmint gum my dad used to give me or hear an old song my mom liked on the radio :smile:

    My grandmother is buried in a place where my grandfather also intends to be buried. It just happens that this particular cemetery is a tourist attraction. It was very strange having a bus full of tourists slow down to gawk at our funeral. I haven't been back since the funeral because of that feeling. Though I have to say that everyone working there was incredibly lovely and so kind. It's just strange to have people walking through and snapping photos in the middle of your grief.

    Edit: Actually my other grandmother and my great grandparents are buried in the same cemetery too. I haven't visited their graves in years either. We used to go as a family twice a year to put wreaths or flowers, but since my siblings and I have grown up and scattered we don't do that any longer.

    @nevadavis1 That wouldn't happen to be Spring Grove Cemetery in Cincinnati, would it? I live in Cincinnati, and it's pretty well known. They filmed there for the movie "Rain Man". Just wondering. :)
  • nevadavis1
    nevadavis1 Posts: 331 Member
    rdevol wrote: »
    @nevadavis1 That wouldn't happen to be Spring Grove Cemetery in Cincinnati, would it? I live in Cincinnati, and it's pretty well known. They filmed there for the movie "Rain Man". Just wondering. :)

    No. But that's interesting. I also know that cemeteries in New Orleans attract a lot of tourists. No, this is Arlington National... Whole family are war veterans.
  • AngryViking1970
    AngryViking1970 Posts: 2,847 Member
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    @Avocado_Angel You can pretty much do that with your ashes too after being cremated. They can be an essential component in fertilization and for adjusting soil pH if it's too acidic to help stuff grow better, but you would have to spread them over a large area otherwise it would kill everything. Wood ash is used this way. You could probably have them mixed in with cement to make a planter or something, maybe a bird bath.

    some folks have jewellery made from ashes.

    I've never heard of this for people, but my vet's office offers this. Pet cremation jewelry, they call it. It's like lab grown crystals mixed with the ashes. I'm not so sure...
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    My dad told me that if you were living within a 50 mile radius of our towns graveyard, you couldn't be buried there.

    I asked him: why?

    He replied: Because you're living within a 50 mile radius of the graveyard.

    :|
    I was chatting to some guy a while back and he said a new thing was to bury people stood upright with a bag attached to the top containing tree seeds, that way it saves more room and also the dead person can cultivate a tree I thought that was a nice way to be remembered and saves space

    Ah but a tree doesn't save space so it kinda negates the point a bit.

    save space from what?

    the idea that there isnt enough space for normal burials in big cities. They had the idea originally to bury people 3 or 4 at a time per plot on top of each other, then i think upright to save space for more burials. This is the tree upright one.

    ashes, dust, oceans.....

    plenty of room

    Yeah...some folks like to be buried with their loved ones in plots and cemeteries. Others done like the idea of being cremated what with all the boney fragments n *kitten*. It's not the fine dust you see on tv.

    Also with spreading ashes its really a one time deal. there isn't a place to go to sit a talk with them, or a place to focus when grieving. Sure you can get a headstone etc but they aren't 'there'.

    Actually I have to disagree I couldn't afford to bury my mum, I kept her ashes for about a year maybe more. But when I was ready I went with my bro, I scattered her ashes around a tree that was beside where lots of daffodils grow. The exact place I used to always pick her daffodils for mothers day. So although I couldn't afford a final resting place I know she is scattered at those flowers and probably providing nutrients for that tree, so as I watch it grow I can think some part of her is still here. Plus me and wee brother have a place to visit if we feel like it, and know that's her grave. It's her grave to me. Plus I can pick daffodils and think maybe, just maybe she helped them grow.

    Crazy days

    My dad died a few years ago and my mom has his ashes on a book shelf. Mom wants her ashes mixed with dad's when she dies. After she dies, I am going to probably get arrested because I am going to jump the fence at Ohio Stadium and spread their ashes in the middle of the Block O. I know my dad would love the idea of his ashes being spread there.
  • LadyLilion
    LadyLilion Posts: 276 Member
    nevadavis1 wrote: »
    rdevol wrote: »
    @nevadavis1 That wouldn't happen to be Spring Grove Cemetery in Cincinnati, would it? I live in Cincinnati, and it's pretty well known. They filmed there for the movie "Rain Man". Just wondering. :)

    No. But that's interesting. I also know that cemeteries in New Orleans attract a lot of tourists. No, this is Arlington National... Whole family are war veterans.

    I can't imagine not being respectful and giving a funeral and family all due privacy in Arlington. People can be so rude.

  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    My dad told me that if you were living within a 50 mile radius of our towns graveyard, you couldn't be buried there.

    I asked him: why?

    He replied: Because you're living within a 50 mile radius of the graveyard.

    :|
    I was chatting to some guy a while back and he said a new thing was to bury people stood upright with a bag attached to the top containing tree seeds, that way it saves more room and also the dead person can cultivate a tree I thought that was a nice way to be remembered and saves space

    Ah but a tree doesn't save space so it kinda negates the point a bit.

    save space from what?

    the idea that there isnt enough space for normal burials in big cities. They had the idea originally to bury people 3 or 4 at a time per plot on top of each other, then i think upright to save space for more burials. This is the tree upright one.

    ashes, dust, oceans.....

    plenty of room

    Yeah...some folks like to be buried with their loved ones in plots and cemeteries. Others done like the idea of being cremated what with all the boney fragments n *kitten*. It's not the fine dust you see on tv.

    Also with spreading ashes its really a one time deal. there isn't a place to go to sit a talk with them, or a place to focus when grieving. Sure you can get a headstone etc but they aren't 'there'.

    Actually I have to disagree I couldn't afford to bury my mum, I kept her ashes for about a year maybe more. But when I was ready I went with my bro, I scattered her ashes around a tree that was beside where lots of daffodils grow. The exact place I used to always pick her daffodils for mothers day. So although I couldn't afford a final resting place I know she is scattered at those flowers and probably providing nutrients for that tree, so as I watch it grow I can think some part of her is still here. Plus me and wee brother have a place to visit if we feel like it, and know that's her grave. It's her grave to me. Plus I can pick daffodils and think maybe, just maybe she helped them grow.

    Crazy days

    Yeah i guess that is one way to do it. Like pinuplove said its all personal. When i was talking about the one time deal i was thinking more towards scattering at sea or in the wind.

    This is awkward, but it reminded me of something. My uncle and his sisters went out to scatter their dad's ashes at the family ranch. At the moment of release, a gust of wind came up and the ashes blew back in everyone's faces. I think dad was sending a message. It was kind of a final F-you to the kids. He was always an ornery, mean guy when he was alive. A real A-hole who was always sticking it to his family. My uncle had ashes stuck in his mustache for hours... :s
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    That's what I want for my burrial, I want to be burried upright and give back to the earth by helping a tree grow we need more trees.

    That's definitely going in my will. My minds made up

    There is a problem with this, because the human body is so large (I am saying on the average, not yours :-), when it decomposes it creates a sink hole and the tree that you are 'nurturing' will fall over. I know this is one of the reason tree are not planted directly on top of plots in a cemetery, the trees will line the road and will serve as borders.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    Bruceapple wrote: »
    Thank you LHD for you insightful comments and answers to our questions.

    But one (joke ) question remains: What about Zombies?

    I would think it would do no good to bury them or embalm they. Now cremating them is another story :-)
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  • taco_inspector
    taco_inspector Posts: 7,223 Member
    edited June 2017
    That's what I want for my burrial, I want to be burried upright and give back to the earth by helping a tree grow we need more trees.

    That's definitely going in my will. My minds made up

    There is a problem with this, because the human body is so large (I am saying on the average, not yours :-), when it decomposes it creates a sink hole and the tree that you are 'nurturing' will fall over. I know this is one of the reason tree are not planted directly on top of plots in a cemetery, the trees will line the road and will serve as borders.

    Back to the drawing board then :neutral:

    That's annoying cos the guy i was talking to works for the forestry commission. You would have thought he'd have known that the trees would sink or fall over.. pffft

    This 'sinking' is why some cemeteries (OK, most) require the use of a vault... essentially a hard-bridge over the rotting box/corpse to stabilize the soil-column.

    Planting a tree nearby may still serve your wishes, with fewer complications as well (think about the guy that will no longer be able to mow over the center of your plot... clean and neat arrangement within an interment facility serve many purposes and are closely controlled)
  • rdevol
    rdevol Posts: 278 Member
    I've heard about the growing the tree thing, but using the person's ashes from cremation to nourish the tree rather than the decomposing body.
  • luvthewaves
    luvthewaves Posts: 13 Member
    I have a question that may seem weird...but maybe not . I have been to many funerals and the last one i attended the body was actually cold. Like it had been in a refrigerator and had just been taken out. It freaked me out. I kinda thought if you embalmed someone you didn't need to do that. Also i could feel something stiff on the arms and chest.
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 1,049 Member
    Bruceapple wrote: »
    Thank you LHD for you insightful comments and answers to our questions.

    But one (joke ) question remains: What about Zombies?

    I would think it would do no good to bury them or embalm they. Now cremating them is another story :-)

    make sure you tie the shoelaces together!
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    That's what I want for my burrial, I want to be burried upright and give back to the earth by helping a tree grow we need more trees.

    That's definitely going in my will. My minds made up

    There is a problem with this, because the human body is so large (I am saying on the average, not yours :-), when it decomposes it creates a sink hole and the tree that you are 'nurturing' will fall over. I know this is one of the reason tree are not planted directly on top of plots in a cemetery, the trees will line the road and will serve as borders.

    Back to the drawing board then :neutral:

    That's annoying cos the guy i was talking to works for the forestry commission. You would have thought he'd have known that the trees would sink or fall over.. pffft

    I do like the idea of cremation, raking the ashes into the soil and planting a tree. Ever time the tree is watered or it rains a little of you then will be transferred into the tree.

    Now I want to be a gosh darn tree!
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    That's what I want for my burrial, I want to be burried upright and give back to the earth by helping a tree grow we need more trees.

    That's definitely going in my will. My minds made up

    There is a problem with this, because the human body is so large (I am saying on the average, not yours :-), when it decomposes it creates a sink hole and the tree that you are 'nurturing' will fall over. I know this is one of the reason tree are not planted directly on top of plots in a cemetery, the trees will line the road and will serve as borders.

    Back to the drawing board then :neutral:

    That's annoying cos the guy i was talking to works for the forestry commission. You would have thought he'd have known that the trees would sink or fall over.. pffft


    Now I want to be a gosh darn tree!

    .... would you settle for poison oak?
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    That's what I want for my burrial, I want to be burried upright and give back to the earth by helping a tree grow we need more trees.

    That's definitely going in my will. My minds made up

    There is a problem with this, because the human body is so large (I am saying on the average, not yours :-), when it decomposes it creates a sink hole and the tree that you are 'nurturing' will fall over. I know this is one of the reason tree are not planted directly on top of plots in a cemetery, the trees will line the road and will serve as borders.

    Back to the drawing board then :neutral:

    That's annoying cos the guy i was talking to works for the forestry commission. You would have thought he'd have known that the trees would sink or fall over.. pffft


    Now I want to be a gosh darn tree!

    .... would you settle for poison oak?

    Isn't poison oak a vine not a tree. I do like the idea of irritating people even after I am dead. WIN!
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  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    I have a question that may seem weird...but maybe not . I have been to many funerals and the last one i attended the body was actually cold. Like it had been in a refrigerator and had just been taken out. It freaked me out. I kinda thought if you embalmed someone you didn't need to do that. Also i could feel something stiff on the arms and chest.

    If they are embalmed cooling isn't necessary, but it helps slow down decomposition.
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