Ask a mortician

1161719212225

Replies

  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    edited April 2017
    @LittleHearseDriver , you are very attractive. So my question is this:

    Has a man (or woman) who is burying their spouse ever hit on you at the service?

    "Not sure if you're doing anything tonight but I'm free as soon as we're done here"


    I have received some questionable hugs, but I haven't had a spouse hit on me. A lady's son gave me his card and told me to call him if I'm ever in Denver. He said he'd like to take me out to dinner. I couldnt tell if he was just being nice or hitting on me because he was in his 50s.

    Old men like that are creepy
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
    @_unsteady_ If things aren't going right I'll say " Come on, work with me Mr/Mrs _______"

    I do a lot of thinking when we have a young person . I think about all the potential that has been lost and wonder how their lives would be different if they wouldn't have died.

    This makes me feel better a bit. My 9 year old son died several weeks ago, and hearing that the people who worked on him may have thought about his life and the what could have been makes me feel better somehow.

    I'm so sorry for your loss... I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. *hugs*
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    @_unsteady_ If things aren't going right I'll say " Come on, work with me Mr/Mrs _______"

    I do a lot of thinking when we have a young person . I think about all the potential that has been lost and wonder how their lives would be different if they wouldn't have died.

    This makes me feel better a bit. My 9 year old son died several weeks ago, and hearing that the people who worked on him may have thought about his life and the what could have been makes me feel better somehow.

    Oh.... wow. That's terrible. Godspeed.
  • FindingAwesome
    FindingAwesome Posts: 1,482 Member
    When my grandpa was in the hospital, he was suffering from a bit of medicine induced dementia. He kept telling us to straighten his legs. Over and over. "Straighten my legs! "

    When we asked him why, he finally answered that if they're not straight when rigor mortis kicks in, they're going to have to cut them off to get him in the box.

    We tried to convince him this wasn't true...

    It isn't, right? Haha
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Have you ever grabbed something from your "dead room" and almost eat it by mistake?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    We keep food in the kitchen like normal people.
    I don't know. Most normal people probably couldn't do what you do. I believe it takes a certain type of person.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Hydrolysis is basically boiling the body instead of burning it...

    So they basically make soup - like a kind of "bone broth" so to speak... :dizzy:


  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    @_unsteady_ If things aren't going right I'll say " Come on, work with me Mr/Mrs _______"

    I do a lot of thinking when we have a young person . I think about all the potential that has been lost and wonder how their lives would be different if they wouldn't have died.

    This makes me feel better a bit. My 9 year old son died several weeks ago, and hearing that the people who worked on him may have thought about his life and the what could have been makes me feel better somehow.

    <3
  • marelthu
    marelthu Posts: 184 Member
    When my brother died we saw him a few days later in his casket. His lips were glued (or sewn) shut and he was ice cold. It was horrifying for me. I guess other people get some comfort from seeing their loved one one last time but I would rather have not experienced that.

    I appreciate the work you do.
  • jessiefrancine
    jessiefrancine Posts: 271 Member
    I'm not sure if you know this or not, but who does the scene clean up after a particularly bad removal? I'm thinking someone who died but wasn't found for a couple weeks, or a murder scene or suicide. That's got to be a special kind of mess to deal with. Is that left to the family to take care of? Are there people for hire that specialize in cleaning up? Just curious.

    Thanks for all the answers you are providing here. Love this thread so much!
  • SoulRadiation
    SoulRadiation Posts: 1,060 Member
    My job has changed the way I look at people. I tend to see more bad than good especially when it comes to money. One family member doesn't want the other to know about life insurance so they can keep it all for themselves.... that sort of thing. Then there is the idolization bull crap when you die you automatically become a good person. Why can't people just be honest and real? For once I'd love for someone to say " Tammy had a hard time keeping her legs closed, but she made the best damn cheesecake I ever had."

    I confess I had to Google existentialism. I'm kind of confused what you are asking.I think we all determine our own fate by the choices we make everyday. I think we never truly know how much of an impact we have on those around us.

    That's very interesting. It makes perfect sense that financial concerns would surface to somebody who's constantly dealing with people who've passed on...unfortunately, a lot of people grow apart from their families and people probably don't do a very good job of leaving their affairs in the best legal order as a matter of course...so, any family divisions would run riot around the time of a death...and especially, if there's money on the table.

    It's sad.

    I've not had to bear the brunt of resolving an estate, yet...but it's something I'm not looking forward to very much. I've not always been on the best terms with my own brother, so...well, maybe it's just a recommendation to mend family fences where possible.

    I don't mind the idolization aspect. Everybody has different religious and philosophical traditions and understandings about what is the purpose of a funeral, but my own is that it is for the living. They need to figure out how to grieve and accept the loss of the being of somebody they loved...imperfect or not. If that makes you better as a dead person...hey, they you can't be sued?

    I don't want to be remembered, personally. Dust to dust.

    Regarding existentialism...it's a weird topic. There is a lot of it regarding the idea of having a "free will" but that isn't really what I was wondering about (although, I'm always interested in that topic as well...being a nerd).

    I was thinking more in the respect of visualizing yourself and coming to peace with trading places with the people who have passed on that you work with...really understanding that one day, you're going to die.

    That's something I always push to the back of my mind, and I imagine it's something as a mortician you would not be able to easily do.

    I don't have a specific question. I'm not sure there even is one to be formulated regarding existentialism. That's why it's so weird. "The nature of self and being". "Does seeing dead people all the time affect your nature of self?"

    Just chit-chatting.

    :)
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    I'm not sure if you know this or not, but who does the scene clean up after a particularly bad removal? I'm thinking someone who died but wasn't found for a couple weeks, or a murder scene or suicide. That's got to be a special kind of mess to deal with. Is that left to the family to take care of? Are there people for hire that specialize in cleaning up? Just curious.

    Thanks for all the answers you are providing here. Love this thread so much!

    There is a movie starring Amy Adams, called Sunshine Cleaning Company (or something like that). That's what they do. It's a quirky movie. Entertaining.
  • jessiefrancine
    jessiefrancine Posts: 271 Member
    I'm not sure if you know this or not, but who does the scene clean up after a particularly bad removal? I'm thinking someone who died but wasn't found for a couple weeks, or a murder scene or suicide. That's got to be a special kind of mess to deal with. Is that left to the family to take care of? Are there people for hire that specialize in cleaning up? Just curious.

    Thanks for all the answers you are providing here. Love this thread so much!

    There is a movie starring Amy Adams, called Sunshine Cleaning Company (or something like that). That's what they do. It's a quirky movie. Entertaining.

    I must find this movie!!!
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    why cant i lay on a casket when im casket shopping lil hearse?

    Who said you can't?
  • MrStabbems
    MrStabbems Posts: 3,110 Member
    So...erectile embalming stories. Go.

    Also the *hush hush, keep on the DL* home furnace question...
  • km8907
    km8907 Posts: 3,861 Member
    why cant i lay on a casket when im casket shopping lil hearse?

    Who said you can't?

    All the family members there seemed to be upset. To be fair that one was occupied.
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    km8907 wrote: »
    why cant i lay on a casket when im casket shopping lil hearse?

    Who said you can't?

    All the family members there seemed to be upset. To be fair that one was occupied.

    I think when you took off your shirt and rubbed your boobs on the casket got them the most.
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    So...erectile embalming stories. Go.

    Also the *hush hush, keep on the DL* home furnace question...

    That is referred to as angel's lust and it's a myth. Sorry to burst your bubble. You can't have an erection if there is no blood flow.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Why do you charge the families of fat people so much more for embalming and caskets?
  • MrStabbems
    MrStabbems Posts: 3,110 Member
    km8907 wrote: »
    why cant i lay on a casket when im casket shopping lil hearse?

    Who said you can't?

    All the family members there seemed to be upset. To be fair that one was occupied.

    I think when you took off your shirt and rubbed your boobs on the casket got them the most.
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    So...erectile embalming stories. Go.

    Also the *hush hush, keep on the DL* home furnace question...

    That is referred to as angel's lust and it's a myth. Sorry to burst your bubble. You can't have an erection if there is no blood flow.

    dammit i was hoping to have a little flag at half mast on my day....
  • browneyedgirl749
    browneyedgirl749 Posts: 4,984 Member
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    why cant i lay on a casket when im casket shopping lil hearse?

    Who said you can't?

    All the family members there seemed to be upset. To be fair that one was occupied.

    I think when you took off your shirt and rubbed your boobs on the casket got them the most.
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    So...erectile embalming stories. Go.

    Also the *hush hush, keep on the DL* home furnace question...

    That is referred to as angel's lust and it's a myth. Sorry to burst your bubble. You can't have an erection if there is no blood flow.

    dammit i was hoping to have a little flag at half mast on my day....

    You may have one when you pass. It'll just deflate...
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Why do you charge the families of fat people so much more for embalming and caskets?
    I'm signing you up for a rectal embalming.

    why cant i lay on a casket when im casket shopping lil hearse?

    Who said you can't?

    i was talking to a guy at work he was telling me he already paid for his plot and picked outbhis casket. i asked him if he got in it to see if hell be comfortable in it and they told him he couldnt get in it.

    Party poopers.
  • km8907
    km8907 Posts: 3,861 Member
    km8907 wrote: »
    why cant i lay on a casket when im casket shopping lil hearse?

    Who said you can't?

    All the family members there seemed to be upset. To be fair that one was occupied.

    I think when you took off your shirt and rubbed your boobs on the casket got them the most.
    .

    I had to make sure it wouldn't chafe.
  • MrStabbems
    MrStabbems Posts: 3,110 Member
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    why cant i lay on a casket when im casket shopping lil hearse?

    Who said you can't?

    All the family members there seemed to be upset. To be fair that one was occupied.

    I think when you took off your shirt and rubbed your boobs on the casket got them the most.
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    So...erectile embalming stories. Go.

    Also the *hush hush, keep on the DL* home furnace question...

    That is referred to as angel's lust and it's a myth. Sorry to burst your bubble. You can't have an erection if there is no blood flow.

    dammit i was hoping to have a little flag at half mast on my day....

    You may have one when you pass. It'll just deflate...

    *kitten* it i'll get @LittleHearseDriver to stick a little MASSIVE pencil in there to keep it upright.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    What does embalming fluid taste like? Because Motorsheen is trying to convince me that it's the next big thing in Pop Tarts, but I'm suspicious.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Why do you charge the families of fat people so much more for embalming and caskets?
    I'm signing you up for a rectal embalming.


    promise?
  • browneyedgirl749
    browneyedgirl749 Posts: 4,984 Member
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    why cant i lay on a casket when im casket shopping lil hearse?

    Who said you can't?

    All the family members there seemed to be upset. To be fair that one was occupied.

    I think when you took off your shirt and rubbed your boobs on the casket got them the most.
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    So...erectile embalming stories. Go.

    Also the *hush hush, keep on the DL* home furnace question...

    That is referred to as angel's lust and it's a myth. Sorry to burst your bubble. You can't have an erection if there is no blood flow.

    dammit i was hoping to have a little flag at half mast on my day....

    You may have one when you pass. It'll just deflate...

    *kitten* it i'll get @LittleHearseDriver to stick a little MASSIVE pencil in there to keep it upright.

    Wishful thinking... to what could have been but never was...
  • km8907
    km8907 Posts: 3,861 Member
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    why cant i lay on a casket when im casket shopping lil hearse?

    Who said you can't?

    All the family members there seemed to be upset. To be fair that one was occupied.

    I think when you took off your shirt and rubbed your boobs on the casket got them the most.
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    So...erectile embalming stories. Go.

    Also the *hush hush, keep on the DL* home furnace question...

    That is referred to as angel's lust and it's a myth. Sorry to burst your bubble. You can't have an erection if there is no blood flow.

    dammit i was hoping to have a little flag at half mast on my day....

    You may have one when you pass. It'll just deflate...

    *kitten* it i'll get @LittleHearseDriver to stick a little MASSIVE pencil in there to keep it upright.

    that sounds painful

    Sounds like a typical Tuesday night.
This discussion has been closed.