Ask a mortician
Replies
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Jimb376mfp wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »That was a very interesting read. I've never been to an open casket funeral, I think they're less common in the UK.
If somebody requests a colourful funeral, do the funeral staff join in or do you always wear black? Or am I making an assumption that you even wear black as standard?
I've never had a family ask me to wear something specifically, but I have worn the deceased's favorite color for a funeral.
How nice of you.
My dear nephew passed away last June at age 51, only two months after being diagnosed with brain cancer.
I was surprised to see him in the casket with baseball cap on! He was very involved with his son's baseball and it looked quite natural.
I never heard of a colorful funeral but this reminded me that things have changed.
I've come across a couple, especially if the person was young.
I think for me I'd always choose black. Associations can be quite profound. I won't have lillies at home because they remind me of death. There was a funeral full of sunflowers and now when I see sunflowers they always make me think about the poor girl who died due to a *kitten* doctor. Makes me really angry and sad when I see them.0 -
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You are awesome. That is all.4
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Like, really.0
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MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »What's the most unexpected thing you've come across while working with the deceased?
I embalmed a woman in her 30s who had a tattoo downtown. She was an autopsy and the incision went through her tattoo. It was a rainbow with two words above it. Even after I sewed everything back together I couldn't make out what it said.2 -
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »That was a very interesting read. I've never been to an open casket funeral, I think they're less common in the UK.
If somebody requests a colourful funeral, do the funeral staff join in or do you always wear black? Or am I making an assumption that you even wear black as standard?
I've never had a family ask me to wear something specifically, but I have worn the deceased's favorite color for a funeral.
Well then, if you work my funeral would you agree to wrap your naked body in saran wrap for the viewing?
Mine, not yours..... viewing, that is.
On second thought, I wouldn't be around to enjoy the festivities; wear whatever you want.
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Motorsheen wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »That was a very interesting read. I've never been to an open casket funeral, I think they're less common in the UK.
If somebody requests a colourful funeral, do the funeral staff join in or do you always wear black? Or am I making an assumption that you even wear black as standard?
I've never had a family ask me to wear something specifically, but I have worn the deceased's favorite color for a funeral.
Well then, if you work my funeral would you agree to wrap your naked body in saran wrap for the viewing?
Mine, not yours..... viewing, that is.
On second thought, I wouldn't be around to enjoy the festivities; wear whatever you want.
I thought you wanted to be beer battered and deep fried?! Quit changing your wishes dang it!5 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »That was a very interesting read. I've never been to an open casket funeral, I think they're less common in the UK.
If somebody requests a colourful funeral, do the funeral staff join in or do you always wear black? Or am I making an assumption that you even wear black as standard?
I've never had a family ask me to wear something specifically, but I have worn the deceased's favorite color for a funeral.
Well then, if you work my funeral would you agree to wrap your naked body in saran wrap for the viewing?
Mine, not yours..... viewing, that is.
On second thought, I wouldn't be around to enjoy the festivities; wear whatever you want.
I thought you wanted to be beer battered and deep fried?! Quit changing your wishes dang it!
The beer batter is still an option........
but I like the idea of having my ashes fired from a cannon at halftime of the Michigan- Ohio State game too.
Edited to add: I'll take your non reply on the saran wrap question as an answer of: yes!2 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »What's the most unexpected thing you've come across while working with the deceased?
I embalmed a woman in her 30s who had a tattoo downtown. She was an autopsy and the incision went through her tattoo. It was a rainbow with two words above it. Even after I sewed everything back together I couldn't make out what it said.
I watched a documentary of an autopsy a while ago, and they tucked everything back in the cavity and sewed the person back up when it was over. But that was in the U.K. I don't know how they do it in the U.S. The example above sounds like they didn't put her back together when they were done. Do they normally close them back up after examination, or do they just leave people a hot mess after an autopsy so a mortician has to go in and do the repairs? Thanks!0 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »What's the most unexpected thing you've come across while working with the deceased?
I embalmed a woman in her 30s who had a tattoo downtown. She was an autopsy and the incision went through her tattoo. It was a rainbow with two words above it. Even after I sewed everything back together I couldn't make out what it said.
I watched a documentary of an autopsy a while ago, and they tucked everything back in the cavity and sewed the person back up when it was over. But that was in the U.K. I don't know how they do it in the U.S. The example above sounds like they didn't put her back together when they were done. Do they normally close them back up after examination, or do they just leave people a hot mess after an autopsy so a mortician has to go in and do the repairs? Thanks!
Everything is left open. They put all of the organs in a large bag and set it in the abdominal cavity. We have a lot of sewing to do after we finish embalming.0 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »What's the most unexpected thing you've come across while working with the deceased?
I embalmed a woman in her 30s who had a tattoo downtown. She was an autopsy and the incision went through her tattoo. It was a rainbow with two words above it. Even after I sewed everything back together I couldn't make out what it said.
I watched a documentary of an autopsy a while ago, and they tucked everything back in the cavity and sewed the person back up when it was over. But that was in the U.K. I don't know how they do it in the U.S. The example above sounds like they didn't put her back together when they were done. Do they normally close them back up after examination, or do they just leave people a hot mess after an autopsy so a mortician has to go in and do the repairs? Thanks!
Everything is left open. They put all of the organs in a large bag and set it in the abdominal cavity. We have a lot of sewing to do after we finish embalming.
I never knew that. I think that is horrible and terribly disrespectful to the deceased.2 -
[quote="MaybeLed;38983154"
I've come across a couple, especially if the person was young.
I think for me I'd always choose black. Associations can be quite profound. I won't have lillies at home because they remind me of death. There was a funeral full of sunflowers and now when I see sunflowers they always make me think about the poor girl who died due to a *kitten* doctor. Makes me really angry and sad when I see them.[/quote]
If the family or friends of the deceased have not ordered or sent flowers, does the funeral home provide them?
Have you ever had a viewing/ funeral where there are no flowers?0 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »What's the most unexpected thing you've come across while working with the deceased?
I embalmed a woman in her 30s who had a tattoo downtown. She was an autopsy and the incision went through her tattoo. It was a rainbow with two words above it. Even after I sewed everything back together I couldn't make out what it said.
I watched a documentary of an autopsy a while ago, and they tucked everything back in the cavity and sewed the person back up when it was over. But that was in the U.K. I don't know how they do it in the U.S. The example above sounds like they didn't put her back together when they were done. Do they normally close them back up after examination, or do they just leave people a hot mess after an autopsy so a mortician has to go in and do the repairs? Thanks!
Everything is left open. They put all of the organs in a large bag and set it in the abdominal cavity. We have a lot of sewing to do after we finish embalming.
I never knew that. I think that is horrible and terribly disrespectful to the deceased.
* shrug
They don't care. ..0 -
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If the family or friends of the deceased have not ordered or sent flowers, does the funeral home provide them?
Have you ever had a viewing/ funeral where there are no flowers?
The family is responsible for flowers if they wish to have them. I've seen several services without flowers. It looks very bare, but the family can always pictures or mementos to decorate with.
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »This is a great thread. I'm an archaeologist in the UK and have excavated lots of human remains (from Roman through to Victorian), we get the occasional cremation too, so it's interesting to read things from a different perspective! We can have a Victorian skeleton (~100 years old) who is completely decayed and a prehistoric skeleton (~3000 years old) with part of the brain still intact (true story; I know the guy that excavated it and it made headlines)!
My mum died in 2010 when I was 19 and it was traumatic for me. The people at the funeral home made everything so much easier for us and whoever embalmed my mum and did her make-up did an amazing job. Luckily she had a very peaceful expression on her face (the last time I saw her was with her mouth wide open and lots of gargling as gasses and things escaped her mouth) just after I watched her die.
I have to say thank you for this thread @LittleHearseDriver and the job you do because it impacts the families and friends in more ways than the practical side of your job.
Making a family happy after losing someone they love means the world to me ❤LittleHearseDriver wrote: »
I'm not sure, really, probably removals. I'm not a people person.
I've gotta warn you, death isn't a 9:00-5:00 gig. You lose a lot of sleep and there are some nights when you have to go out several times. Home death calls can be gross when you see how nasty people live. And obese people are always a ton of fun- your help magically disappears when you have those.
If you're really passionate about it go to your local funeral home and speak with them. They may know a place that is hiring. The bigger thr city, the higher the demand.
I see what you did there
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Motorsheen wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »That was a very interesting read. I've never been to an open casket funeral, I think they're less common in the UK.
If somebody requests a colourful funeral, do the funeral staff join in or do you always wear black? Or am I making an assumption that you even wear black as standard?
I've never had a family ask me to wear something specifically, but I have worn the deceased's favorite color for a funeral.
Well then, if you work my funeral would you agree to wrap your naked body in saran wrap for the viewing?
Mine, not yours..... viewing, that is.
On second thought, I wouldn't be around to enjoy the festivities; wear whatever you want.
I thought you wanted to be beer battered and deep fried?! Quit changing your wishes dang it!
The beer batter is still an option........
but I like the idea of having my ashes fired from a cannon at halftime of the Michigan- Ohio State game too.
Edited to add: I'll take your non reply on the saran wrap question as an answer of: yes!
My dad died a few years ago and my mom wants to have her ashes mixed with his, so I am waiting for her death, but I have every intention of breaking into Ohio Stadium and pouring their ashes on the fifty yard line. I know my dad would love it.5 -
Have you ever had a person who was embalmed and ready to go, but no one was there for the viewing or funeral? If you know no one may show up, like if the guy or gal was homeless, would you still schedule a viewing?0
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Riffraft1960 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »That was a very interesting read. I've never been to an open casket funeral, I think they're less common in the UK.
If somebody requests a colourful funeral, do the funeral staff join in or do you always wear black? Or am I making an assumption that you even wear black as standard?
I've never had a family ask me to wear something specifically, but I have worn the deceased's favorite color for a funeral.
Well then, if you work my funeral would you agree to wrap your naked body in saran wrap for the viewing?
Mine, not yours..... viewing, that is.
On second thought, I wouldn't be around to enjoy the festivities; wear whatever you want.
I thought you wanted to be beer battered and deep fried?! Quit changing your wishes dang it!
The beer batter is still an option........
but I like the idea of having my ashes fired from a cannon at halftime of the Michigan- Ohio State game too.
Edited to add: I'll take your non reply on the saran wrap question as an answer of: yes!
My dad died a few years ago and my mom wants to have her ashes mixed with his, so I am waiting for her death, but I have every intention of breaking into Ohio Stadium and pouring their ashes on the fifty yard line. I know my dad would love it.
I have a friend, a TBDBITL alumnus, who wants his ashes scattered by a band member during Script Ohio.1 -
briansolomon7863 wrote: »Have you ever had a person who was embalmed and ready to go, but no one was there for the viewing or funeral? If you know no one may show up, like if the guy or gal was homeless, would you still schedule a viewing?
We provide a free graveside service for the homeless and we put a death notice in the newspaper in hopes of finding any relatives.6 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »briansolomon7863 wrote: »Have you ever had a person who was embalmed and ready to go, but no one was there for the viewing or funeral? If you know no one may show up, like if the guy or gal was homeless, would you still schedule a viewing?
We provide a free graveside service for the homeless and we put a death notice in the newspaper in hopes of finding any relatives.
That actually sounds like what I would want for myself.
No viewing, no big speeches, just skip right to the graveside and say a couple of kind words (or not), stick me in there, and go. A few flowers left behind to keep me company for that first night would be cool, too, but totally optional. The fewer people the better. I never liked crowds, and I don't like drama. 6 -
I heard on the radio this morning that you can buy your casket from Sams or Costco. No question, just thought that was interesting.2
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I heard on the radio this morning that you can buy your casket from Sams or Costco. No question, just thought that was interesting.
My dad actually made a casket (old pine box style) for his step dad when he died. He had requested to just be put in the ground on his ranch with no service, no embalming, nothing. My dad had to set aside an acre of land on the ranch (which my dad inherited) to be a designated burial ground and get it approved by the county - luckily he got this done before Oscar died. He was buried in the pine box with no embalming as requested, but they did have a small service for him, graveside.6 -
Our family friend is a retired mortician and he always said that someone that had been on Chemo for a long time was always hard to embalm. I never asked him why but I'm assuming because the veins are brittle? What are your experiences with people that have had extensive chemotherapy in the last stages of life? Btw, your are adorably awesome and I find this thread very fascinating. You seem like a fun person to hang out with!1
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In my experience, chemo patients do well because they have very little body fat. Formaldehyde synthesizes with the protein in muscles, the less body fat a person has the better they will embalm.0
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »In my experience, chemo patients do well because they have very little body fat. Formaldehyde synthesizes with the protein in muscles, the less body fat a person has the better they will embalm.
That makes sense! Thank you for replying!0 -
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »briansolomon7863 wrote: »Have you ever had a person who was embalmed and ready to go, but no one was there for the viewing or funeral? If you know no one may show up, like if the guy or gal was homeless, would you still schedule a viewing?
We provide a free graveside service for the homeless and we put a death notice in the newspaper in hopes of finding any relatives.
That actually sounds like what I would want for myself. No viewing, no big speeches, just skip right to the graveside and say a couple of kind words (or not), stick me in there, and go. A few flowers left behind to keep me company for that first night would be cool, too, but totally optional. The fewer people the better. I never liked crowds, and I don't like drama.
I'm the same way. I've never liked attention, and I don't want a lot of it when I die, either. I have my funeral plan typed up on my phone. It's so non-traditional, that I figured I'd better have a plan in place for my family. Since I'm only 46, they think it's morbid and weird. But I don't care.
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I've never had to divide ashes 11 ways before. Putting this guy in a plastic bag makes me feel like a drug dealer, but it's what the family wanted. I had to get creative and make my own funnel to get the ashes into the little keepsake urns without making a mess.
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