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  • Tricia7188
    Tricia7188 Posts: 135 Member
    edited January 2017
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    AMazing thread!!!! Read it start to finish! Last year I read a book that sounds SO similar to you, I found it on Amazon called "When ashes get in your eyes" or something like that Haha. Good read!! Except she worked in a crematorium only, no burials. So it's cool learning about the embalming and casket stuff.
    Edit: It's called "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And other lessons from the crematory"
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
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    Tricia7188 wrote: »
    AMazing thread!!!! Read it start to finish! Last year I read a book that sounds SO similar to you, I found it on Amazon called "When ashes get in your eyes" or something like that Haha. Good read!! Except she worked in a crematorium only, no burials. So it's cool learning about the embalming and casket stuff.
    Edit: It's called "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And other lessons from the crematory"
    Yep, I read that last year too. She seems very anti-burial. I can see the value of a family doing somethings on their own, but suicides, autopsies, and traumatic deaths aren't one of those.
  • elephant2mouse
    elephant2mouse Posts: 906 Member
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    I read all 11 pages of this! So interesting! I would definitely buy your book.

    I have an odd question -- say someone wanted an actual mummification, could/would you accommodate that?
    Also that wicker basket coffin is gorgeous.
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
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    Sorry, I can only embalm and cremate.
  • Jimb376mfp
    Jimb376mfp Posts: 6,232 Member
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    Motorsheen wrote: »
    I only have one question.

    What are you wearing?

    2ke9pa2z4whj.jpg
    Have you ever met a necrophiliac? I would imagine people like that try hard to get jobs in funeral homes

    As far as I know, I've never met one

    Must you always wear black? Or do you sometimes "lighten up"?
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
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    I don't have to wear black, but I prefer it over any other suit color.Black goes with everything and it's a classic. I have a lot of cute colorful tops that I wear with them.
  • Jimb376mfp
    Jimb376mfp Posts: 6,232 Member
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    "A few years ago we buried the wife of a well liked 80 year old black minister in town. At the funeral everyone praised him for being a loving and devoted husband. Six weeks later he got remarried. Thenat a funeral he preached, he was bragging about how he liked to take her out for ice cream so he would watch her lick the cone clean"

    Please clarify for me...was he talking about his late wife licking a cone? Or his new wife?
    Either way it's weird!
  • Jimb376mfp
    Jimb376mfp Posts: 6,232 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Is the story true about big feet and hands?

    Since you have answered every crazy question....
    Have you seen any um, ah, well you know....that made you say "oh MY!!!"
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
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    Jimb376mfp wrote: »
    "A few years ago we buried the wife of a well liked 80 year old black minister in town. At the funeral everyone praised him for being a loving and devoted husband. Six weeks later he got remarried. Thenat a funeral he preached, he was bragging about how he liked to take her out for ice cream so he would watch her lick the cone clean"

    Please clarify for me...was he talking about his late wife licking a cone? Or his new wife?
    Either way it's weird!
    His new wife
  • Mini_Medic
    Mini_Medic Posts: 343 Member
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    Such an amazing thread! I know a bit about the pre mortuary topics since I work as a paramedic and unfortunately encounter death a fair amount. Fascinating what I didn't know about the processes and preparations before burial/cremation.

    For the person who commented about preferring a closed casket and not understanding why others don't, well many people need that last look to find peace and know the person is really gone. Too many folks have heard stories about people faking their own death or committing a crime and running away to a country with no extradition. So seeing the real person deceased is needed for them to accept that they are gone. Although after working my job, I wouldn't want to see a deceased loved one, I would trust that they are really gone and not need visual proof. But I don't understand why people have a morbid fascination with seeing a dead body. More people, especially family members show up to a scene right after someone is found dead than they do to a funeral and that always bothered me. I guess it's just curiosity of the unknown. Most just appear to be pale and sleeping unless it's been awhile.

    Anyway, cheers! Thank you for answering our questions.
  • Laurie6578
    Laurie6578 Posts: 154 Member
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    Have you ever got in a casket? I would totally do that just to check it out.
  • Laurie6578
    Laurie6578 Posts: 154 Member
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    I watched a cremation once. It was my husband's father. My husband's sister decided she needed to be there with him and my husband decided he needed to be there for his sister so I figured great.. I need to be there for my husband. Turned out I was the only one upset by it...he was put into what appeared to be a large cardboard box and it looked like he was placed into the bowels of hell with the fire roaring ~ could've had something to do with the fact he wasn't really all that nice sometimes ;\
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    Mini_Medic wrote: »
    Such an amazing thread! I know a bit about the pre mortuary topics since I work as a paramedic and unfortunately encounter death a fair amount. Fascinating what I didn't know about the processes and preparations before burial/cremation.

    For the person who commented about preferring a closed casket and not understanding why others don't, well many people need that last look to find peace and know the person is really gone. Too many folks have heard stories about people faking their own death or committing a crime and running away to a country with no extradition. So seeing the real person deceased is needed for them to accept that they are gone. Although after working my job, I wouldn't want to see a deceased loved one, I would trust that they are really gone and not need visual proof. But I don't understand why people have a morbid fascination with seeing a dead body. More people, especially family members show up to a scene right after someone is found dead than they do to a funeral and that always bothered me. I guess it's just curiosity of the unknown. Most just appear to be pale and sleeping unless it's been awhile.

    Anyway, cheers! Thank you for answering our questions.

    I wonder if it's the thought of a loved one being in some strange place alone, not being comforted or taken care of, and with a bunch of strangers who do not care about them.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,645 Member
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    I've never noticed any "smiles" on the corpses. Can this be accommodated if requested?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
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    here's one i asked my gp once and it just made her eyes cross. but maybe if you've ever embalmed a pregnant woman, you can tell me:

    where do your ovaries go when you're pregnant?
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
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    @Laurie6578 I've never climbed in one because with my luck the thing would tip over. The mattress is 1.5 inch piece of foam rubber, it doesn't look very comfy.

  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    I've never noticed any "smiles" on the corpses. Can this be accommodated if requested?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    We have no control over that. Some individuals have a naturally pleasant expression and others not so much.
    here's one i asked my gp once and it just made her eyes cross. but maybe if you've ever embalmed a pregnant woman, you can tell me:

    where do your ovaries go when you're pregnant?

    I've never embalmed a pregnant woman before.
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
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    I've been following this for a couple of weeks now... it's fascinating! Thank you, @LittleHearseDriver , for sharing your knowledge here - it makes the whole thing seem less scary somehow.

    You mentioned puncturing the internal organs in an earlier post - why do you have to do that? Do they cause some kind of problem with the body if they're left intact?

    And sort of related to that, I guess - if you did have a pregnant woman to embalm, would the foetus have to be removed first and what would be done with it in that case? Or would the doctor involved with her case have dealt with that before she came to you? Would it depend on how far along she was at the time of death?

    Second question - when my dad died, for a couple of reasons it was nearly two weeks before we held his cremation. I've often wondered what the funeral home would have had to do to him to "keep" him that long, but didn't like to ask! (It was in the middle of winter, if that makes any difference, and also in the UK although I presume practices are fairly similar in all Western countries?)

    We have no control over that. Some individuals have a naturally pleasant expression and others not so much.

    Oh dear... so those poor people who suffer with "resting b**ch face" are stuck with it after death too? ;)
  • MaybeLed
    MaybeLed Posts: 250 Member
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    @LittleHearseDriver I know you said about having an order of service for someone who's died. Have you ever had any you thought were awful? or tried to re-write?

    At my Grandfather's funeral my uncle put in a diatribe about how my grandfather beat him and my dad to show he 'had conviction'. :s
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
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    SueSueDio wrote: »
    I've been following this for a couple of weeks now... it's fascinating! Thank you, @LittleHearseDriver , for sharing your knowledge here - it makes the whole thing seem less scary somehow.

    You mentioned puncturing the internal organs in an earlier post - why do you have to do that? Do they cause some kind of problem with the body if they're left intact?

    And sort of related to that, I guess - if you did have a pregnant woman to embalm, would the foetus have to be removed first and what would be done with it in that case? Or would the doctor involved with her case have dealt with that before she came to you? Would it depend on how far along she was at the time of death?

    Second question - when my dad died, for a couple of reasons it was nearly two weeks before we held his cremation. I've often wondered what the funeral home would have had to do to him to "keep" him that long, but didn't like to ask! (It was in the middle of winter, if that makes any difference, and also in the UK although I presume practices are fairly similar in all Western countries?)

    We have no control over that. Some individuals have a naturally pleasant expression and others not so much.

    Oh dear... so those poor people who suffer with "resting b**ch face" are stuck with it after death too? ;)

    We aspirate the abdominal cavity to remove blood, urine, and feces. Those excess fluids help the body break down faster if we do not remove them and the stomach will begin to swell (like roadkill for example).

    When embalm as normal whether there is a fetus or not. We don't remove any tissue or organs,the medical examiner is responsible for that.

    We have a specific room for cremations that we keep the temperature low. After a few days they will begin to smell, but we normal have all of the paperwork ready in a day or two so they usually don't have to sit around that long. If a funeral home has their own crematory, they have their own cooler for storing bodies. **Crosses fingers** I'm hoping my work will get one this year.
    MaybeLed wrote: »
    @LittleHearseDriver I know you said about having an order of service for someone who's died. Have you ever had any you thought were awful? or tried to re-write?

    At my Grandfather's funeral my uncle put in a diatribe about how my grandfather beat him and my dad to show he 'had conviction'. :s
    I've seen some interesting ones. People put the most random,unnecessary information in obituaries. Most families let us write them, but every now and then they insist on writing their own.