Ask a mortician
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HelloNewman01 wrote: »You never responded to my Richard Gere question.
I'll cross the Richard Gere bridge when I come to it.4 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »I've never had to divide ashes 11 ways before. Putting this guy in a plastic bag makes me feel like a drug dealer, but it's what the family wanted. I had to get creative and make my own funnel to get the ashes into the little keepsake urns without making a mess.
Wow, you do have an interesting job. And the little urns are rather nice.
But to be honest, the thought of keeping the ashes seems sort of creepy to me. Just my personal preference. My mother's cousin passed away recently, and instead of a service they had him cremated and scattered at sea, by the Neptune Society. He was an avid sailor, so that was fitting for him.
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Kasner1975 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »I've never had to divide ashes 11 ways before. Putting this guy in a plastic bag makes me feel like a drug dealer, but it's what the family wanted. I had to get creative and make my own funnel to get the ashes into the little keepsake urns without making a mess.
Wow, you do have an interesting job. And the little urns are rather nice.
But to be honest, the thought of keeping the ashes seems sort of creepy to me. Just my personal preference. My mother's cousin passed away recently, and instead of a service they had him cremated and scattered at sea, by the Neptune Society. He was an avid sailor, so that was fitting for him.
Creepy? To each their own I suppose... I keep a small urn each for my daughter and father on my night stand, and I never leave the house without my bracelet with my daughter's ashes in it.
I meant no disrespect, and perhaps it is because I have not lost a person that is that close to me yet, and might feel differently if that were the case. Your bracelet is a lovely work of art.2 -
When they take out organs for donation, do you guys sew them up or do the coroners?
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When they take out organs for donation, do you guys sew them up or do the coroners?
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We sew them up. It's my least favorite thing about autopsies because it takes forever and my hand cramps up. Plus it's hard to make them look good after their bodies have been through all of that.2 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »When they take out organs for donation, do you guys sew them up or do the coroners?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
We sew them up. It's my least favorite thing about autopsies because it takes forever and my hand cramps up. Plus it's hard to make them look good after their bodies have been through all of that.
I'm surprised the hospital does not let the interns do that for the practice. I guess surgical glue is not something you could use?
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Coffee, water, and beer.0
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There is a guy that works at a funeral that I've had to go to way too many times. He is known for stealing desserts that are there for the families. These aren't desserts provided by the funeral home, they are desserts given to the families by family members and friends. He doesn't just eat them he steals the whole dessert and takes it home. While at my moms funeral last week I caught him stealing cookies. Of course I snapped a pic.
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^ Maybe he considers it one of the perks of the job. Stay classy, funeral guy.
P.S. Sorry about your Mom.
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I don't think food is allowed in funeral parlors in NY, at least every one I've been to has a sign saying "According to state law, no food allowed"0
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There is a guy that works at a funeral that I've had to go to way too many times. He is known for stealing desserts that are there for the families. These aren't desserts provided by the funeral home, they are desserts given to the families by family members and friends. He doesn't just eat them he steals the whole dessert and takes it home. While at my moms funeral last week I caught him stealing cookies. Of course I snapped a pic.
I'm just giving you this.
Sorry to hear about your mom.
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Every funeral home has their own policy about food, most corporate funeral homes will fire an employee if they are caught eating their food. Where I work we don't eat anything unless they tell us we are welcome to help ourselves and even then I feel bad about grabbing a brownie or piece of fried chicken. We don't eat in front of them either if we do get something. It's a quick grab and run job.
Keep in mind, its hard for us to find time to eat when you're working a visitation or funeral. There have been many times I've had to go without because things have simply been too busy.2 -
Sorry if someone asked this one before.
I'm a huge investigation discovery channel junkie & was wondering if you ever had to work on a body that came into foul play & they still haven't solved the case.
Also what's the youngest & oldest person you've ever had to work with?0 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Hi Hearse,
Kind of a broad question here. How much does an average (empty) coffin weigh? I have been a pallbearer many times, and always find myself wondering," how much of this is Grandpa, and how much is box?"
Metal caskets are about 150 lbs. Wood caskets are around 200-250 lbs.badgerface1k wrote: »Have you ever been just about to jab them with ur instrument and they all of the sudden wake up?
Nope. If it ever happens I will probably pee my pants.
I wonder how often that really happens that people wake up & showed no vital signs & were about to be embalmed?0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Sorry if someone asked this one before.
I'm a huge investigation discovery channel junkie & was wondering if you ever had to work on a body that came into foul play & they still haven't solved the case.
Also what's the youngest & oldest person you've ever had to work with?
I've only had one person who was murdered. She was killed because her son had shot a 20 year guy at a house party a few weeks before. Three people are in prison and two are dead all because a guy stepped on someone's shoes at a party.
The youngest person I've taken care of was a baby that was one month premature and the oldest was 98. My boss embalmed a lady who was 106.
It's very rare for people to wake up on the embalming table, I've never heard of it happening to any embalmers that I know.0 -
@LittleHearseDriver globally there's always, been a problem with; people being accidentally buried alive! 1 was, recently saved from; being cremated because the person putting them in, noticed a tear streaming via; an eye! Obviously a person might, not've detectable vital signs via; medical machinery (no pulse) & not everyone's autopsied! Do you take steps to ensure that the bodies you receive're in fact actually dead prior to, performing any postmortem work on them when it; might not otherwise be obvious due to rigor mortis and/or blood pooling? Such as: using a scalpel to, cut someone to; see if they bleed 1st?0
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DeficitDuchess wrote: »@LittleHearseDriver globally there's always, been a problem with; people being accidentally buried alive! 1 was, recently saved from; being cremated because the person putting them in, noticed a tear stream an eye! Obviously a person might, not've detectable vital signs via; medical machinery (no pulse) & not everyone's autopsied! Do you take steps to ensure that the bodies you receive're in fact actually dead prior to, performing any postmortem work on them when it; might not otherwise be obvious due to rigor mortis and/or blood pooling? Such as: using a scalpel to, cut someone to; see if they bleed 1st?
That story sounds like a bunch of crap.Bodies that are going to cremated are in a cardboard container, if someone did shed a tear while being pushed into the retort no one would be able to see it.
I don't make unnecessary incisions on a person to see if they are still alive. It would be obvious if the person was alive when I start embalming because they would move or make a noise when I make a one-inch incision at the base of the neck to get to the Carotid and the jugular.4 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »DeficitDuchess wrote: »@LittleHearseDriver globally there's always, been a problem with; people being accidentally buried alive! 1 was, recently saved from; being cremated because the person putting them in, noticed a tear stream an eye! Obviously a person might, not've detectable vital signs via; medical machinery (no pulse) & not everyone's autopsied! Do you take steps to ensure that the bodies you receive're in fact actually dead prior to, performing any postmortem work on them when it; might not otherwise be obvious due to rigor mortis and/or blood pooling? Such as: using a scalpel to, cut someone to; see if they bleed 1st?
That story sounds like a bunch of crap.Bodies that are going to cremated are in a cardboard container, if someone did shed a tear while being pushed into the retort no one would be able to see it.
I don't make unnecessary incisions on a person to see if they are still alive. It would be obvious if the person was alive when I start embalming because they would move or make a noise when I make a one-inch incision at the base of the neck to get to the Carotid and the jugular.
I tried to, find the original article to; post but the only thing that, I found was that the; undertaker realized she was alive (not exactly when, though)!
However you, don't embalm everyone right to, make that incision?0 -
I saw this movie once. And it creeped me out. Martin Sheen. The Serpent and The Rainbow.
"Don't let them bury me. I'm not dead." Eeek.
https://youtu.be/LNRnOcW5yqs 0 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »When they take out organs for donation, do you guys sew them up or do the coroners?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
We sew them up. It's my least favorite thing about autopsies because it takes forever and my hand cramps up. Plus it's hard to make them look good after their bodies have been through all of that.
If where all the organs are taken out are covered with clothes, you could just use duct tape. Or would that be illegal or something?0 -
DeficitDuchess wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »DeficitDuchess wrote: »@LittleHearseDriver globally there's always, been a problem with; people being accidentally buried alive! 1 was, recently saved from; being cremated because the person putting them in, noticed a tear stream an eye! Obviously a person might, not've detectable vital signs via; medical machinery (no pulse) & not everyone's autopsied! Do you take steps to ensure that the bodies you receive're in fact actually dead prior to, performing any postmortem work on them when it; might not otherwise be obvious due to rigor mortis and/or blood pooling? Such as: using a scalpel to, cut someone to; see if they bleed 1st?
That story sounds like a bunch of crap.Bodies that are going to cremated are in a cardboard container, if someone did shed a tear while being pushed into the retort no one would be able to see it.
I don't make unnecessary incisions on a person to see if they are still alive. It would be obvious if the person was alive when I start embalming because they would move or make a noise when I make a one-inch incision at the base of the neck to get to the Carotid and the jugular.
I tried to, find the original article to; post but the only thing that, I found was that the; undertaker realized she was alive (not exactly when, though)!
However you, don't embalm everyone right to, make that incision?
You have to make an incision to get to the carotid artery and the jugular vein. There is no way to embalm without making an incision.1 -
@LittleHearseDriver
1. What is your first name?
2. I thought of you today. I was listening to NPR and a lady was talking about having family members and friends perform some of the preparation of their deceased loved ones. She sounded like she may have been a funeral director. She discussed how people don't realize how difficult it is to dress a corpse.
Have you had requests from family to get involved in the process? Such as dressing , make up etc!1 -
Have you ever been tempted to snort the ashes of someone with a rolled up fifty dollar bill?
I had to ask for the group; I'm sure I'm not the only one wondering this same exact thing.0 -
Jimb376mfp wrote: »@LittleHearseDriver
1. What is your first name?
2. I thought of you today. I was listening to NPR and a lady was talking about having family members and friends perform some of the preparation of their deceased loved ones. She sounded like she may have been a funeral director. She discussed how people don't realize how difficult it is to dress a corpse.
Have you had requests from family to get involved in the process? Such as dressing , make up etc!
Dressing a body by myself is a challenge unless they are really small. If I have help it only take 5 minutes. Once in a blue moon a relative will ask to help dress their loved one, but most would rather do make-up than see them naked.
Sorry, I don't like giving out my name. There are too many psychos on-line.Motorsheen wrote: »Have you ever been tempted to snort the ashes of someone with a rolled up fifty dollar bill?
Nope, nope, and nope.3
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