Ask a mortician
Replies
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Monkey_Business wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Monkey_Business wrote: »Avocado_Angel wrote: »Monkey_Business wrote: »Avocado_Angel wrote: »That's what I want for my burrial, I want to be burried upright and give back to the earth by helping a tree grow we need more trees.
That's definitely going in my will. My minds made up
There is a problem with this, because the human body is so large (I am saying on the average, not yours :-), when it decomposes it creates a sink hole and the tree that you are 'nurturing' will fall over. I know this is one of the reason tree are not planted directly on top of plots in a cemetery, the trees will line the road and will serve as borders.
Back to the drawing board then
That's annoying cos the guy i was talking to works for the forestry commission. You would have thought he'd have known that the trees would sink or fall over.. pffft
Now I want to be a gosh darn tree!
.... would you settle for poison oak?
Isn't poison oak a vine not a tree. I do like the idea of irritating people even after I am dead. WIN!
Where I live, it's more of a shrub.0 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »nolan44219 wrote: »have you ever had to get someone ready for burial and thought "damn this ole boy should have been an organ donor?"
I often mumble to myself the opposite actually. Organ donors are a lot of extra work. You have to worry about them leaking so we put them in a plastic coveralls. I think it's a very noble gift. I wouldn't choose if for myself or my family because I wouldn't want to see them picked apart in the behind the scenes stuff.
Really? The loved one could save lives by donating an organ but you'd worry about what happens to their dead body? That seems odd to me. Who cares what happens to the body when they don't need it anymore.
It's just a different perspective based on her own daily experiences witnessing this stuff. You don't ever have to see it yourself, or with your own family member, so of course it doesn't bother you. But for her it's just an honest personal preference. We all feel what we feel and death is very personal. Nothing to get offended about. My own nephew was the recipient of a transplant when he was a baby. He's 13 now and still going strong, so I can see and understand both sides of the issue. I fully respect people's personal choices regarding organ donation either way.
I guess. I feel like it should be required by law unless for a religious reason. So many lives could be saved.0 -
kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »seriously asking for a friend...can you get a tattoo after you are dead?
No, that would be considered mutilation to a corpse.2 -
I have always thought to get buried in my Army Dress Blues. Recently though I have been thinking of being cremated. Do individuals who are getting cremated, still get dressed to the hilt even if there is no viewing?1
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Monkey_Business wrote: »I have always thought to get buried in my Army Dress Blues. Recently though I have been thinking of being cremated. Do individuals who are getting cremated, still get dressed to the hilt even if there is no viewing?
If the family requested for them to be dressed in certain clothes before being cremated we will do it.0 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Monkey_Business wrote: »I have always thought to get buried in my Army Dress Blues. Recently though I have been thinking of being cremated. Do individuals who are getting cremated, still get dressed to the hilt even if there is no viewing?
If the family requested for them to be dressed in certain clothes before being cremated we will do it.
So unless there is a request, you cremate people naked?0 -
briansolomon7863 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Monkey_Business wrote: »I have always thought to get buried in my Army Dress Blues. Recently though I have been thinking of being cremated. Do individuals who are getting cremated, still get dressed to the hilt even if there is no viewing?
If the family requested for them to be dressed in certain clothes before being cremated we will do it.
So unless there is a request, you cremate people naked?
We cremate them in what they come to us with.1 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »briansolomon7863 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Monkey_Business wrote: »I have always thought to get buried in my Army Dress Blues. Recently though I have been thinking of being cremated. Do individuals who are getting cremated, still get dressed to the hilt even if there is no viewing?
If the family requested for them to be dressed in certain clothes before being cremated we will do it.
So unless there is a request, you cremate people naked?
We cremate them in what they come to us with.
So, what do they come with you wearing? Is it hike a hospital smock, or wrapped in a sheet, or maybe just someone in a plastic bag if they have been in a bad accident?0 -
I've been around a lot of funerals & the one thing I take from them is that they are for the living more than the dead.
I've seriously reconsidered being buried & going with cremation instead. That's still not a common thing where I'm from & most of the people I know back home would consider it uncouth. Honestly, I don't like the idea of my loved ones spending money on a fancy box or prolonging the decaying of my carcass when it's under 6 feet of dirt. Plots, casket, interment, service, funeral home expenses, etc. It racks up fast & most people don't think to plan ahead for it. I would rather that they saved money for recovering from the loss, because that isn't going to be easy anyhow. Hopefully I have plenty of days left to ponder that choice to come to a definite decision.
Do you ever encounter families or family members that don't like the wishes of of the deceased or they vocalize them publicly? Have they ever tried to drag you into those kinds of things like squabbles about how everything should be handled?
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »briansolomon7863 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Monkey_Business wrote: »I have always thought to get buried in my Army Dress Blues. Recently though I have been thinking of being cremated. Do individuals who are getting cremated, still get dressed to the hilt even if there is no viewing?
If the family requested for them to be dressed in certain clothes before being cremated we will do it.
So unless there is a request, you cremate people naked?
We cremate them in what they come to us with.
do you ever cremate somebody and warm up your lunch at the same time?3 -
Sizzling_Mess wrote: »how much do you charge in cremated ?i understand not all places are the same price but like to have a ball park on the price .
also can a family member bring there own container to put me in after i am cremated ?
i have an M&M jar i want to be in before family throws my ashes into the ocean .
plain or peanut?1 -
briansolomon7863 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »briansolomon7863 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Monkey_Business wrote: »I have always thought to get buried in my Army Dress Blues. Recently though I have been thinking of being cremated. Do individuals who are getting cremated, still get dressed to the hilt even if there is no viewing?
If the family requested for them to be dressed in certain clothes before being cremated we will do it.
So unless there is a request, you cremate people naked?
We cremate them in what they come to us with.
So, what do they come with you wearing? Is it hike a hospital smock, or wrapped in a sheet, or maybe just someone in a plastic bag if they have been in a bad accident?
If they died at a hospital they will be in a gown, if they were at home they would be in their clothes, and if they were autopsied they would be nude in a body bag.FireTurtle75 wrote: »
Do you ever encounter families or family members that don't like the wishes of of the deceased or they vocalize them publicly? Have they ever tried to drag you into those kinds of things like squabbles about how everything should be handled?
It's common for family members disagree on little things like whether the casket should be closed during the service. Sometimes the deceased wanted cremation and the next of kin are against it. They often ask us what we think,but we stay neutral and let them handle it among themselves because there is no win win if you choose a side.Motorsheen wrote: »
do you ever cremate somebody and warm up your lunch at the same time?
Nope. Microwaves are cheaper to run.Sizzling_Mess wrote: »how much do you charge in cremated ?i understand not all places are the same price but like to have a ball park on the price .
also can a family member bring there own container to put me in after i am cremated ?
i have an M&M jar i want to be in before family throws my ashes into the ocean .
We charge $1,100. Prices vary by regions.2 -
Ever been to a Turkish prison? Seen a grown man naked?0
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Sizzling_Mess wrote: »wow that is expensive , what about the 2 other questions i asked ? - thanks
Your ashes can go in whatever container you choose.
$1,100 is considered cheap for a cremation.I know of several funeral homes that charge $3,000+.2 -
Do you know of Caitlin Doughty's youtube videos? I have yet to get here books. Its fascinating stuff.0
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Sizzling_Mess wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Sizzling_Mess wrote: »wow that is expensive , what about the 2 other questions i asked ? - thanks
Your ashes can go in whatever container you choose.
$1,100 is considered cheap for a cremation.I know of several funeral homes that charge $3,000+.
what happens if family members do not have the money has that ever happen ?
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Sizzling_Mess wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Sizzling_Mess wrote: »wow that is expensive , what about the 2 other questions i asked ? - thanks
Your ashes can go in whatever container you choose.
$1,100 is considered cheap for a cremation.I know of several funeral homes that charge $3,000+.
what happens if family members do not have the money has that ever happen ?
We can turn people away.
I've seen her videos and I've read her book, but honestly, I'm not a big fan.Do you know of Caitlin Doughty's youtube videos? I have yet to get here books. Its fascinating stuff.
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I'm still waiting for you to answer my questions.1
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SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »I'm still waiting for you to answer my questions.
No and Yes. You figure out which answer belongs to which question.5 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Sizzling_Mess wrote: »wow that is expensive , what about the 2 other questions i asked ? - thanks
Your ashes can go in whatever container you choose.
$1,100 is considered cheap for a cremation. I know of several funeral homes that charge $3,000+.
Having had to pay or help pay for numerous funerals, I think $1100 is very reasonable and wish more of my kin had elected for cremation. Urns are not that expensive.
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Monkey_Business wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Sizzling_Mess wrote: »wow that is expensive , what about the 2 other questions i asked ? - thanks
Your ashes can go in whatever container you choose.
$1,100 is considered cheap for a cremation. I know of several funeral homes that charge $3,000+.
Having had to pay or help pay for numerous funerals, I think $1100 is very reasonable and wish more of my kin had elected for cremation. Urns are not that expensive.
Amazon sells urns and they're so much cheaper than buying from the funeral home.6 -
This thread is fascinating. Thanks for posting.2
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After reading the whole thread, some things came to mind:
* Hair/Makeup: Decades ago, freelance licensed hairdressers/makeup artists were hired by funeral homes. You've mentioned you do the makeup. Do any funeral homes hire out freelance for those jobs any longer or do the majority do their own hair/makeup? Are there FT cosmetologists on staff at larger funeral homes? Do you learn makeup/hair styling in mortuary school? If you fix hair on women yourself, how complex can it get... are you using hot rollers, curling irons, styling products, blow dryers, wigs/hair additions for those who may have lost hair through chemo? Do you do haircuts? Have you ever had to color someone's roots, for instance, if the family requested that their relative look like she did in everyday life?
* Protective Gear: What special gear/clothing do you wear when embalming & when cremating? Are there state law requirements on protective gear? Do you wear goggles & a face mask so you're not breathing in chemical smells?
* Ashes: Are there state laws Re: the scattering of ashes? You need permission from the city/county/state to get married on public ground, so surely people can't legally scatter ashes on the beach or in a public/national park without a permit, no? I know they "can", but are people legally required to gain permission?
* Wakes: 3-day wakes were required for Catholics decades ago. In recent years (not sure when), 1-day wakes are permitted by the church. Are there 3-day wakes anymore?
* Religion: Are most funeral homes divided by religion, as there may be different customs? In other words, is your funeral parlor mainly used by Christians, particular Christian denominations and/or all religions?
* Choosing a funeral home: Is there any data on how/why people choose a particular funeral home? In a small town, I understand there are fewer local funeral homes & people know each other, so it may be easier to choose. But, in larger cities, do most just go to the closest or choose via price & not much else matters?
* Cemeteries: You mentioned way back that the casket eventually decomposes, so all those embalming fluids are leaking into the ground, therefore, cemeteries must have very toxic soil. Are there city/state regulations on how many embalmed people can be buried in a particular cemetery in order to not exceed toxic limits? Is soil ever tested by the state or cemetery to determine toxicity %?
* Cadavers: You have to practice on bodies during school. Are the donors (if that's the correct word) mostly unknown deaths/indigents who've passed away & are unclaimed by relatives? At what month in school did cadaver work begin (chiropractors I've known began working on cadavers during the 2nd month) & how do the schools collect patrons to work on? Once you embalm in school, is the donor then buried & is a funeral service held?
* Homeless: In regard to those who are homeless, since burial is the method used, where does the clothing come from? Donations? Or, does the funeral parlor purchase from Goodwill, etc.?
* Comfort level time: How long did it take you to not get queasy when touching bodies? I recall touching a deceased relative's hand at the wake & the coldness chilled me to the bone & I felt it for days afterwards. Even if you're in/entering into the biz & knowing what's required, there must be a break-in period to become accustomed to working with the deceased, no?
* Job prospects: You mentioned that it's hard to find a job after graduation from school & that most funeral homes are family owned. Therefore, would you dissuade someone from entering into the profession? Also, if you decided to move out of state, is it possible you'd need further schooling, would you need to take a state board for the new state & with your 5+ yrs experience, would you have the same problem finding a job?
As a previous poster said, my mum is 85 & I know I'll be facing this in the upcoming years, so reading through all your replies has made me feel less fearful of the burial/cremation process. The last time I was at a funeral, I burst into tears, couldn't stop crying & fainted, so had to be removed from the room (I was a kid)... embarrassing as I come from a family of doctors & nurses & varying medical technicians & I'm the only squeamish one who can't even change a BandAid without hyperventilating.
So, I thank you for your all the info you've offered here... it's really helped me feel less fearful of the process.1 -
Motorsheen wrote: »
do you ever cremate somebody and warm up your lunch at the same time?
@Motorsheen
you made me LoL (I too am a smart azzz)
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@LittleHearseDriver
Do the people you work for/with know about this thread?
Do the know you are an online celebrity?0 -
PatanjaliTwist wrote: »After reading the whole thread, some things came to mind:
* Hair/Makeup: Decades ago, freelance licensed hairdressers/makeup artists were hired by funeral homes. You've mentioned you do the makeup. Do any funeral homes hire out freelance for those jobs any longer or do the majority do their own hair/makeup? Are there FT cosmetologists on staff at larger funeral homes? Do you learn makeup/hair styling in mortuary school? If you fix hair on women yourself, how complex can it get... are you using hot rollers, curling irons, styling products, blow dryers, wigs/hair additions for those who may have lost hair through chemo? Do you do haircuts? Have you ever had to color someone's roots, for instance, if the family requested that their relative look like she did in everyday life?
* Protective Gear: What special gear/clothing do you wear when embalming & when cremating? Are there state law requirements on protective gear? Do you wear goggles & a face mask so you're not breathing in chemical smells?
* Ashes: Are there state laws Re: the scattering of ashes? You need permission from the city/county/state to get married on public ground, so surely people can't legally scatter ashes on the beach or in a public/national park without a permit, no? I know they "can", but are people legally required to gain permission?
* Wakes: 3-day wakes were required for Catholics decades ago. In recent years (not sure when), 1-day wakes are permitted by the church. Are there 3-day wakes anymore?
* Religion: Are most funeral homes divided by religion, as there may be different customs? In other words, is your funeral parlor mainly used by Christians, particular Christian denominations and/or all religions?
* Choosing a funeral home: Is there any data on how/why people choose a particular funeral home? In a small town, I understand there are fewer local funeral homes & people know each other, so it may be easier to choose. But, in larger cities, do most just go to the closest or choose via price & not much else matters?
* Cemeteries: You mentioned way back that the casket eventually decomposes, so all those embalming fluids are leaking into the ground, therefore, cemeteries must have very toxic soil. Are there city/state regulations on how many embalmed people can be buried in a particular cemetery in order to not exceed toxic limits? Is soil ever tested by the state or cemetery to determine toxicity %?
* Cadavers: You have to practice on bodies during school. Are the donors (if that's the correct word) mostly unknown deaths/indigents who've passed away & are unclaimed by relatives? At what month in school did cadaver work begin (chiropractors I've known began working on cadavers during the 2nd month) & how do the schools collect patrons to work on? Once you embalm in school, is the donor then buried & is a funeral service held?
* Homeless: In regard to those who are homeless, since burial is the method used, where does the clothing come from? Donations? Or, does the funeral parlor purchase from Goodwill, etc.?
* Comfort level time: How long did it take you to not get queasy when touching bodies? I recall touching a deceased relative's hand at the wake & the coldness chilled me to the bone & I felt it for days afterwards. Even if you're in/entering into the biz & knowing what's required, there must be a break-in period to become accustomed to working with the deceased, no?
* Job prospects: You mentioned that it's hard to find a job after graduation from school & that most funeral homes are family owned. Therefore, would you dissuade someone from entering into the profession? Also, if you decided to move out of state, is it possible you'd need further schooling, would you need to take a state board for the new state & with your 5+ yrs experience, would you have the same problem finding a job?
As a previous poster said, my mum is 85 & I know I'll be facing this in the upcoming years, so reading through all your replies has made me feel less fearful of the burial/cremation process. The last time I was at a funeral, I burst into tears, couldn't stop crying & fainted, so had to be removed from the room (I was a kid)... embarrassing as I come from a family of doctors & nurses & varying medical technicians & I'm the only squeamish one who can't even change a BandAid without hyperventilating.
So, I thank you for your all the info you've offered here... it's really helped me feel less fearful of the process.
You've thought a lot about this, haven't you?
I just usually think about those little finger sandwiches they serve after the funeral.1 -
Bumping this (just because it's awesome).
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Motorsheen wrote: »You've thought a lot about this, haven't you?
I just usually think about those little finger sandwiches they serve after the funeral.
Hahaha. But, who could eat at a time like this?0 -
I have read about people who are worried about being buried alive and so they ask their bodies be held in storage/freezer(?) For x-number of days before burial or cremation. Is this true, if so do funeral homes allow for it, and are there fees?
Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us and for answering our questions.0
This discussion has been closed.
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