How to period. Male POV
Replies
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Ignoring how patronising (and unnecessary) this post is, you forgot "have a lot of sex with your female partner while she's bleeding if she wants to". Some women get really horny, while menstruating.
Dear men: Please keep quiet about biological functions and mental states you have no experience of.
I disagree. This is a good thread. I like it when men are willing to talk about female biological functions, without being disparaging, even if it means having to acknowledge that men have opinions too. The details about sex, and when to have it, can be worked out between the individuals involved.0 -
I have literally never had any symptoms anywhere near what you described....you must have married some sort of woman-zilla. Tough break, broseph.
married? No woman is stupid enough to make that mistake...
And I'm not cruel enough to let them even if they were!
You're a good man, Taunto Brown.0 -
I dont know what women you hang with
I get aheadache
then my boobs swell up about two cup sizes and are rock hard
and I get super horny and my BF has a hard time keeping up
We LOVE period time......
...just sayin'.....
I was actually gonna put all that in here too but the thread woulda been too long. Part 2 maybe?0 -
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I love this!0
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I dont know what women you hang with
I get aheadache
then my boobs swell up about two cup sizes and are rock hard
and I get super horny and my BF has a hard time keeping up
We LOVE period time......
...just sayin'.....
I was actually gonna put all that in here too but the thread woulda been too long. Part 2 maybe?
In for the sequel. Hopefully it's as good as the original for this was hilarious.
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This content has been removed.
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Ignoring how patronising (and unnecessary) this post is, you forgot "have a lot of sex with your female partner while she's bleeding if she wants to". Some women get really horny, while menstruating.
Dear men: Please keep quiet about biological functions and mental states you have no experience of.
Who wants their bedroom to look like a damn csi investigation?
If you cant play in the ocean when the tide is in then you have no business playing when the tide is out.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I dont know what women you hang with
I get aheadache
then my boobs swell up about two cup sizes and are rock hard
and I get super horny and my BF has a hard time keeping up
We LOVE period time......
...just sayin'.....
I was actually gonna put all that in here too but the thread woulda been too long. Part 2 maybe?
In for the sequel. Hopefully it's as good as the original for this was hilarious.
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Loved this. Everything you said is pretty much true. Lol0
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I think you're a little confused. PMS is the time BEFORE the period starts. That is the source of the crankiness and bloating. Then PMS is over when the bleeding begins. You're welcome.0
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You certainly don't speak for all women. I NEVER had the crying. moodiness, bloating, or emotional issues you describe. I had, from age 13 to age 57, only two symptoms; a great deal of blood, and a great deal of pain. On bad days, I had to call in sick, I'd be too doubled-over in agonizing cramps to go to work. My hubby used to listen to PMS jokes and he'd tell me he didn't "get it".....what moodiness? What crying jags? Don't generalize when you don't have a chance in hell of actually understanding.0
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I would have to add pain killers and heating pads to the list along with wine and chocolate. My cramps were always a killer. I wouldn't have survived without those! Although the "magic pill" makes me much more bearable to live with. Less cramps, less cranky, less bloaty, less bleeding.... But still very horny. hahaha :bigsmile:0
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Ignoring how patronising (and unnecessary) this post is, you forgot "have a lot of sex with your female partner while she's bleeding if she wants to". Some women get really horny, while menstruating.
Dear men: Please keep quiet about biological functions and mental states you have no experience of.
Who wants their bedroom to look like a damn csi investigation?
The guy who wants to get some of the best action he's ever had. That's who.
NOT going to happen if the woman is in so much pain that she can hardly stand upright. I know what I'm talking about here.0 -
I have a healthy fascination with women and their plumbing work. I’m a nerd so I like to dig deep into things I find interesting. That includes learning about how/why a girl half my size bullies me every month. And here are my detailed overview of how it all goes down for them
First comes the crankiness. Brace yourself. This is even before PMS starts. This is just a trailer. Imagine this being the first boss in a dungeon in a video game. The boss there is to show you whats to come. The kind of powers in store for the final boss without giving all its dirty secrets. This boss is easy to handle simply by moving out the fire that it laid out to kill you. Best to stay out the way. The crankiness goes away when the bleeding starts. Try offering some wine to calm down the boss.
During this time, they also feel “bloaty”. They have a hard time fitting into their skinny jeans. Expect the “honey, do I look fat in these?” This is NOT the time to make your silly fat jokes. No matter how cool she is, this won’t go well for you. You will be threatened to have your tiny banana chopped off in your sleep if you said something silly. Be warned! Try changing the topic by saying “hey I’m getting some wine, would you like some?”
How do women feel during their PMS? Imagine you watching Rudy, Fields of Dreams and your childhood dog being put away, all at the same time. Over and over and over again. Except you cannot get desensitized to it. So you’re stuck there. Crying. And feeling bad. And feeling angry about why you’re being made to watch this against your will. That’s how it is. LOTS of anger and sadness. Usually chocolate and wine helps though.
Little things can set them off. Like watching a small 2 inch long thread on the carpet can make them cry. When this happens, you be a man and you offer her a hug, a soft gentle kiss and some wine. You get her more wine than a catholic church on a Sunday. You be the best damn lover she’s ever had. Your kindness WILL be remembered and rewarded. If all else fails, chocolates and wine.
There will be cramps. Cramps is like having a random stranger greet you often and after you politely say “hello” to him, he just grabs you by the collar and kicks you in the family jewels. And he does it everytime except due to the pain you figure “ok, he won’t do it again, nobody is that cruel”. But that guy really IS that cruel. Cramps is like that guy. You know the only solution to cramps I’ve find so far? More wine.
Now I must warn you, that the PMS sync is a real thing. Its true. I am not entirely sure about the details but I do believe it involves with girls going to the bathroom together. There is some oil involved and possibly scissors…. But we’re getting off the point.
Then theres the last thing. The actual bleeding. Ever been shanked in the prison over and over again? Of course you haven’t. But that’s how they work. They get stabbed down there and have to visit the restroom twice as much.
Congratulations. You have just made it through hell. it is finally over. Now it is time for sweet sweet reward. She won’t be feeling fat. She won’t feel depressed. She will have lots of energy, feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet and have lots of confidence. All the wine you made her drink is about to pay off. Hope you had condoms and gatorade stocked up.
Please go.0 -
None of that for me. I would just want to sleep in a little on the first day and have an egg mcmuffin (no meat). Then I will have enough food in my belly to take 2 advil. Then everything is good. I only need the advil for 2 days, then I`m back to normal.0
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Ignoring how patronising (and unnecessary) this post is, you forgot "have a lot of sex with your female partner while she's bleeding if she wants to". Some women get really horny, while menstruating.
Dear men: Please keep quiet about biological functions and mental states you have no experience of.
Who wants their bedroom to look like a damn csi investigation?
The guy who wants to get some of the best action he's ever had. That's who.
NOT going to happen if the woman is in so much pain that she can hardly stand upright. I know what I'm talking about here.
Some women get cramp relief from getting some action.0 -
This thread wins at life. Too funny.0
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Lol! Every time I get a bit crabby my 10yr old son tells the world, she must be on her period, be careful! Good thing I'm hard to embarrass.0
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Ignoring how patronising (and unnecessary) this post is, you forgot "have a lot of sex with your female partner while she's bleeding if she wants to". Some women get really horny, while menstruating.
Dear men: Please keep quiet about biological functions and mental states you have no experience of.
Who wants their bedroom to look like a damn csi investigation?
The guy who wants to get some of the best action he's ever had. That's who.
NOT going to happen if the woman is in so much pain that she can hardly stand upright. I know what I'm talking about here.
With all due respect... I don't think you do. Not saying *i* know any better but from what everyone have said (in this thread and previously) different women get different symptoms and getting overactive sexually brings relief to many also.0 -
This thread wins at life. Too funny.
I'm glad you see it that way and many others too :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
(Sorry no emoticon for wine)0 -
I have a healthy fascination with women and their plumbing work. I’m a nerd so I like to dig deep into things I find interesting. That includes learning about how/why a girl half my size bullies me every month. And here are my detailed overview of how it all goes down for them
First comes the crankiness. Brace yourself. This is even before PMS starts. This is just a trailer. Imagine this being the first boss in a dungeon in a video game. The boss there is to show you whats to come. The kind of powers in store for the final boss without giving all its dirty secrets. This boss is easy to handle simply by moving out the fire that it laid out to kill you. Best to stay out the way. The crankiness goes away when the bleeding starts. Try offering some wine to calm down the boss.
During this time, they also feel “bloaty”. They have a hard time fitting into their skinny jeans. Expect the “honey, do I look fat in these?” This is NOT the time to make your silly fat jokes. No matter how cool she is, this won’t go well for you. You will be threatened to have your tiny banana chopped off in your sleep if you said something silly. Be warned! Try changing the topic by saying “hey I’m getting some wine, would you like some?”
How do women feel during their PMS? Imagine you watching Rudy, Fields of Dreams and your childhood dog being put away, all at the same time. Over and over and over again. Except you cannot get desensitized to it. So you’re stuck there. Crying. And feeling bad. And feeling angry about why you’re being made to watch this against your will. That’s how it is. LOTS of anger and sadness. Usually chocolate and wine helps though.
Little things can set them off. Like watching a small 2 inch long thread on the carpet can make them cry. When this happens, you be a man and you offer her a hug, a soft gentle kiss and some wine. You get her more wine than a catholic church on a Sunday. You be the best damn lover she’s ever had. Your kindness WILL be remembered and rewarded. If all else fails, chocolates and wine.
There will be cramps. Cramps is like having a random stranger greet you often and after you politely say “hello” to him, he just grabs you by the collar and kicks you in the family jewels. And he does it everytime except due to the pain you figure “ok, he won’t do it again, nobody is that cruel”. But that guy really IS that cruel. Cramps is like that guy. You know the only solution to cramps I’ve find so far? More wine.
Now I must warn you, that the PMS sync is a real thing. Its true. I am not entirely sure about the details but I do believe it involves with girls going to the bathroom together. There is some oil involved and possibly scissors…. But we’re getting off the point.
Then theres the last thing. The actual bleeding. Ever been shanked in the prison over and over again? Of course you haven’t. But that’s how they work. They get stabbed down there and have to visit the restroom twice as much.
Congratulations. You have just made it through hell. it is finally over. Now it is time for sweet sweet reward. She won’t be feeling fat. She won’t feel depressed. She will have lots of energy, feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet and have lots of confidence. All the wine you made her drink is about to pay off. Hope you had condoms and gatorade stocked up.
Please go.
I tried, nobody but MFP will take me. Sorry you're stuck with me.0 -
Ignoring how patronising (and unnecessary) this post is, you forgot "have a lot of sex with your female partner while she's bleeding if she wants to". Some women get really horny, while menstruating.
Dear men: Please keep quiet about biological functions and mental states you have no experience of.
Who wants their bedroom to look like a damn csi investigation?
The guy who wants to get some of the best action he's ever had. That's who.
NOT going to happen if the woman is in so much pain that she can hardly stand upright. I know what I'm talking about here.
With all due respect... I don't think you do. Not saying *i* know any better but from what everyone have said (in this thread and previously) different women get different symptoms and getting overactive sexually brings relief to many also.
YOU don't know what you're talking about, Taunto, and I assure you I have tried that, in desperation, various times, and it did nothing to help and made the pelvic pain worse. It may help some women, certainly did not help me. Now go take your fantasies somewhere else.0 -
Taunto, you are awesomeness personified.0
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Wouldn't wine just make everything worse, though.0
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Ignoring how patronising (and unnecessary) this post is, you forgot "have a lot of sex with your female partner while she's bleeding if she wants to". Some women get really horny, while menstruating.
Dear men: Please keep quiet about biological functions and mental states you have no experience of.
Who wants their bedroom to look like a damn csi investigation?
The guy who wants to get some of the best action he's ever had. That's who.
NOT going to happen if the woman is in so much pain that she can hardly stand upright. I know what I'm talking about here.
With all due respect... I don't think you do. Not saying *i* know any better but from what everyone have said (in this thread and previously) different women get different symptoms and getting overactive sexually brings relief to many also.
YOU don't know what you're talking about, Taunto, and I assure you I have tried that, in desperation, various times, and it did nothing to help and made the pelvic pain worse. It may help some women, certainly did not help me. Now go take your fantasies somewhere else.
Feel free to read other replies not by me. Just because you have tried something and it didn't go well for you doesn't mean it doesn't go like that for others. Like I said, for different girls its different.
PS. I like sharing my fantasies. Lonely fantasies makes me feel cray cray
:flowerforyou:0 -
Wouldn't wine just make everything worse, though.
Heard different POV about wine and chocolate. This was just a silly joke thread though
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Wouldn't wine just make everything worse, though.
Heard different POV about wine and chocolate. This was just a silly joke thread though
I know.
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This is so hilarious! Hahahaha I can't stop laughing. The references to other things are too good.0
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