How to period. Male POV

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  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    Ignoring how patronising (and unnecessary) this post is, you forgot "have a lot of sex with your female partner while she's bleeding if she wants to". Some women get really horny, while menstruating.

    Dear men: Please keep quiet about biological functions and mental states you have no experience of.

    Who wants their bedroom to look like a damn csi investigation?

    One word: Shower. Duh.

    Awesome post Taunto! Loved it!! :flowerforyou:

    Syncing part is so true...I lived in residence with 6 girls and shared 1.5 bathrooms (1 shower, 2 toilets). I felt bad for ANYONE who tried to step into our suite when we were on our periods...*shudders*

    I'm still fuzzy on the part about HOW you gals get to the syncing. Is that what the pillow fights in your undies (that every girls I've ever met undoubtly participates at least once a week) are for?
  • therunninghippie
    therunninghippie Posts: 53 Member
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    Some women actually stop bleeding during sex on their period. Their uterus knows when they need to get it!
    I should get my boyfriend to read this!
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
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    I love how polarized this thread is.

    *sits back and watches*
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
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    Nothing kills cramps like a good solid O and I'm not talking Oprah! :drinker:
  • misti3176
    misti3176 Posts: 15 Member
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    I am not entirely sure about the details but I do believe it involves with girls going to the bathroom together. There is some oil involved and possibly scissors…. But we’re getting off the point.

    This seriously cracked me up! As does this entire thread, btw.
  • VBnotbitter
    VBnotbitter Posts: 820 Member
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    There is absolutely no way I am going to let my husband read this terrible thread.

    He may discover that pms does not actually last all month and ration my medicinal need for wine to just one week in five.

    Damn you Taunto :sad: :drinker:
  • walleyclan1
    walleyclan1 Posts: 2,784 Member
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    Funny Post!

    I just have to put my two cents in though. I think that women are taught that they will act crazy and moody and mean during their period and that makes them think it is ok. I have been menstruating for 19 years and I have never gone off in a hormonal rage. Maybe I am just lucky? Maybe I just choose to control my actions, words, and attitude. It bothers me when some gal acts like a witch and then is like "gee sorry, it's that time of the month..."
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    Funny Post!

    I just have to put my two cents in though. I think that women are taught that they will act crazy and moody and mean during their period and that makes them think it is ok. I have been menstruating for 19 years and I have never gone off in a hormonal rage. Maybe I am just lucky? Maybe I just choose to control my actions, words, and attitude. It bothers me when some gal acts like a witch and then is like "gee sorry, it's that time of the month..."

    Think of all the things men get license to do because of testosterone poisoning. We're entitled to our hormonal rages too.
  • dessertlover27
    dessertlover27 Posts: 385 Member
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    OP, bull's eye. Part 2 involving the cravings and hunger where you want to eat everything that is not nailed down and soreness, perhaps? With GIFs, of course.

    There are some downers here though. This is in the name of fun and just because you don't experience those symptoms doesn't mean others don't. So, please don't complain about the OP generalising if you yourself are generalising based on your own experience. I assure you, I am a very reasonable woman...usually, but when the time comes, the tears just wouldn't stop. Cry at anything and everything. An ad, a puppy, a happy ending in a movie, a sad ending to a movie, a bad ending to a movie, a joke, a bad song by Tears for Fears.

    The crankiness though, it's there but I try hard to rein it in. I am already catty enough everyday, no need to subject everyone to even more nastiness.
  • Joreanasaurous
    Joreanasaurous Posts: 1,384 Member
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    Ignoring how patronising (and unnecessary) this post is, you forgot "have a lot of sex with your female partner while she's bleeding if she wants to". Some women get really horny, while menstruating.

    Dear men: Please keep quiet about biological functions and mental states you have no experience of.

    Who wants their bedroom to look like a damn csi investigation?

    One word: Shower. Duh.

    Awesome post Taunto! Loved it!! :flowerforyou:

    Syncing part is so true...I lived in residence with 6 girls and shared 1.5 bathrooms (1 shower, 2 toilets). I felt bad for ANYONE who tried to step into our suite when we were on our periods...*shudders*

    I'm still fuzzy on the part about HOW you gals get to the syncing. Is that what the pillow fights in your undies (that every girls I've ever met undoubtly participates at least once a week) are for?

    Exactly! This allows us to secrete pheromones which allow us to synchronize our bloody Sundays.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    Ignoring how patronising (and unnecessary) this post is, you forgot "have a lot of sex with your female partner while she's bleeding if she wants to". Some women get really horny, while menstruating.

    Dear men: Please keep quiet about biological functions and mental states you have no experience of.

    Who wants their bedroom to look like a damn csi investigation?

    The guy who wants to get some of the best action he's ever had. That's who.


    NOT going to happen if the woman is in so much pain that she can hardly stand upright. I know what I'm talking about here.

    With all due respect... I don't think you do. Not saying *i* know any better but from what everyone have said (in this thread and previously) different women get different symptoms and getting overactive sexually brings relief to many also.

    I don't get cramps or TOM anymore, thank goodness, BUT it did help. Also helped get rid of headaches, too.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I love you Taunto.

    But you forgot the cravings man.... dear God the cravings....
    Must have something salty, followed by the chocolate and the wine, and then the something salty again.

    :bigsmile: Of course someone's going to go ahead and tie that right to the horny comments, lol.

    considering I THOUGHT it read but don't forget the cravings for men, lol.....
  • TheGoktor
    TheGoktor Posts: 1,138 Member
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    Ignoring how patronising (and unnecessary) this post is, you forgot "have a lot of sex with your female partner while she's bleeding if she wants to". Some women get really horny, while menstruating.

    Dear men: Please keep quiet about biological functions and mental states you have no experience of.

    Oh, it's not in the slightest bit patronising - it's just a bit of fun. Seriously, practically all of Taunto's 'observations' (!) apply to me, and it didn't even occur to me to take umbrage. Honestly? It happens, it's heinous at times, so by laughing at it, we're kind of taking ownership. We don't need to be precious about our biological functions, and it's bad enough that there *are* men out there who really don't know much about us - let's not push the good guys away by telling them they don't know what they're talking about!

    Glad to see that the majority of people here have taken Taunto's post in the spirit it was meant. (But the wine and chocolate thing? Not together, thanks - chocolate destroys the taste of wine!)
    Who wants their bedroom to look like a damn csi investigation?

    One word... anal. :bigsmile:
  • _Krys10_
    _Krys10_ Posts: 1,234 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh:

    Great thread
  • EmilyJackCO
    EmilyJackCO Posts: 621 Member
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    for the record, this stuff is only that bad for me when I am not on the pill. PCOS sucks.

    THIS. I stay on the pill because I only have very very slight PMS symptoms and nothing else. I might occasionally retain water, but that's usually diet related. I suffered horrid PMS for the better part of 20 years before I went on the pill and I'll stay on it til the end.

    (note: Progesterone-only pills are *NOT* the same! >.<)

    PS: Thank you for a great start to Friday, Taunto!!
  • ST99000722
    ST99000722 Posts: 204 Member
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    Wine , chocolate ...don't forget footrubs.
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
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    This was amazing.
    I think some of the butthurt women on here are PMSing and/or Hangry :heart:
    tumblr_lstz9orx5V1qm3pupo1_500.gif
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
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    Hilarious! I'm so glad I haven't had to deal with any of that for a while.
  • AndiGirl70
    AndiGirl70 Posts: 542 Member
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    Ignoring how patronising (and unnecessary) this post is, you forgot "have a lot of sex with your female partner while she's bleeding if she wants to". Some women get really horny, while menstruating.

    Dear men: Please keep quiet about biological functions and mental states you have no experience of.

    Who wants their bedroom to look like a damn csi investigation?

    Shower sex or if you're adventurous, the tampon backdoor option. Problem solved.

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