A text message I received...what do you think?
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Lol, the dude is hung up on being superficial. He views what he HAS as what defines success. Move on. The longer you stay, the more inadequate he'll make you feel.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I was shocked when you said you've been together 8 years. If someone said that to me after dating three weeks, we would still be dunzo. Find someone who loves you for YOU. You are beautiful because of who you are. If he doesn't see that, that's a deal breaker.4
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F* you would be my response back and never talk to him again. What an *kitten*.1
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I'm getting the vibe that his head is being turned by a PYT at the gym and this is his heavy handed way fo starting the "fade". He is rationalizing his attraction to another woman by projecting on to you. Rip the bandaid off for him. "Bye Felicia".
A man who can't make a solid commitment after eight years isn't worth your time.19 -
nolan44219 wrote: »
here ya go
He can't eat those. He'll get fat.
OP-he sounds like a first class douche. A lying one.... Does his gym only accept pro bikini models, in comp condition, as members? What a crock. Sounds like a bunch of excuses and wank to me.
No one deserves to be spoken to like that. Get out without wasting any more time on someone who clearly doesn't deserve you!2 -
I'm getting the vibe that his head is being turned by a PYT at the gym and this is his heavy handed way fo starting the "fade". He is rationalizing his attraction to another woman by projecting on to you. Rip the bandaid off for him. "Bye Felicia".
A man who can't make a solid commitment after eight years isn't worth your time.
well said.0 -
Deal breaker.. Dude's an *kitten*.. Get away and count your blessing.2
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I know I'm not the only one here who thinks you're way too beautiful to have to stoop low enough to accept someone talking that way to you. Girl, regardless of your weight, you are a prize, and any DECENT man would be lucky to have you. My boyfriend was just as proud of me at 200 pounds as he is now that I'm 155.
PM me his address-- I'll send him a bag of d!cks on your behalf. 7 -
In all fairness though, it’s easy for everyone to say “I’d tell him to F-off” etc. but it’s not that cut and dry. 8 years is a long time and OP might be in love with this man. I would definitely have a conversation with him about how he hurt your feelings and how superficial his text was and go from there. It doesn't sound like he's worth your time but if you feel it's worth it, talk to him about how he made you feel.7
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jjewell1981 wrote: »Tell him to eff off. Then send him pics of you with someone else. I'll be your prop for the pic.
take this nice man up on his offer OP....4 -
thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »His response sounded like an answer to a question. What did you ask him?
I was like........... I am feeling that i'm am not in your life at the moment, I am feeling that you have no time for me and and i'm not important.
Wow, and that was his response?
Thank him for his honesty.
He's saved you time bothering with him.
Imagine his response if you two had married and you gained fifty pounds with your pregnancy? A swimmer in the 2016 Olympics gained 50lbs with her pregnancy. You can't get much fitter than an Olympic swimmer. Even they struggle with weight.
You should go to they gym and date one of those swoll bros who happen to like their ladies on the jiggly side. Then make sure he sees a pic of the new guy.
Or, better yet, move on with your life and choose a nice guy this time.5 -
8 yrs??????
Do you have kids?
Is there a ring?
8yrs dating???????1 -
OUCH!! Sounds like it is time for you to move on to better things in your life.
Keep in mind you can't change a person like that!!1 -
Well, if he were a good PT or a good boyfriend he would realize the only way you are going to be happy with a lifestyle change where you are "working hard and staying toned" (or however he phrased that) is if it is what you want for you, not what he wants for you.
I am also not sure how I feel about "wanting a girlfriend I can be proud to show off". I value myself as more than some trophy to my husband, and I think he values me as more too or else I wouldn't have married him.
8 years is a long time, but some of this would really worry me.
~Best wishes4 -
Let me be blunt, he's as "deep as a teaspoon"
Is that what you really want?
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In all fairness though, it’s easy for everyone to say “I’d tell him to F-off” etc. but it’s not that cut and dry. 8 years is a long time and OP might be in love with this man. I would definitely have a conversation with him about how he hurt your feelings and how superficial his text was and go from there. It doesn't sound like he's worth your time but if you feel it's worth it, talk to him about how he made you feel.
Yeah @J_Surita3 just nailed it.
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Lol, the dude is hung up on being superficial. He views what he HAS as what defines success. Move on. The longer you stay, the more inadequate he'll make you feel.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
This. Get out before he sucks the life out of you..and if you have a hard time leaving, he already has!2 -
I would love to hear your opinions on the following message.... I received this last night and I still haven't replied, cried a little and cant stop thinking about it.....
Of course you are important to me, how could you not be
But I want you to start putting more effort into training and getting into shape, as I am surrounded by people who are in shape and training hard all the time, and all these people have full time jobs too, and get tired but still do their training
so I'm used to seeing hard working, slim and toned girls all day, and want to be proud to show off my girlfriend as being just as hard working and in just as good of shape
Chat tomorrow
...................
....And I'd like you to start putting more effort into learning how to treat a lady as I'm surrounded by true gentlemen and I'm used to seeing men who are not so vein and shallow. I want to be proud to show off my boyfriend as not being an arrogant prick.
We will NOT chat tomorrow.
Yeah, this. Verbatim. Please text him that and let us know what his response is.2 -
What if she was actually the one that sent that message to him? Think about that!0
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happilymegan wrote: »Ummm tell him to eat a bag of d!cks
They currently have these at Costco.
Your can find them between the produce and optical departments.1 -
jjewell1981 wrote: »What if she was actually the one that sent that message to him? Think about that!
But she didn't. He did. And if she had, then she'd be the superficial one.6 -
khaleesikhaleesi wrote: »I know I'm not the only one here who thinks you're way too beautiful to have to stoop low enough to accept someone talking that way to you. Girl, regardless of your weight, you are a prize, and any DECENT man would be lucky to have you. My boyfriend was just as proud of me at 200 pounds as he is now that I'm 155.
PM me his address-- I'll send him a bag of d!cks on your behalf.
Doubt it. He probably LOVES you as much.
I would caution women to not be so arrogant. You might not be happy about what I just said, but men can defend my statement (I won't be). Sometimes BECAUSE men love you, they are willing to OVERLOOK things they dislike, including weight gain. It doesn't mean they don't care. It means they don't talk to you about it.
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jjewell1981 wrote: »What if she was actually the one that sent that message to him? Think about that!
I don't think encouraging your SO to get fit is wrong in the slightest, what smells wrong here is the subtle threat that he's surrounded by better options. Be they man or woman, this type of mentality will get bored with what they have and seek something new and different eventually.
Another poster probably nailed it already, the long distance relationship is headed in the direction of most long distance relationships, the guy is starting to withdraw.14 -
>>> so I'm used to seeing hard working, slim and toned girls all day, and want to be proud to show off my girlfriend
...................
Highlighted the real truth in his message. This is his issue, he wants a trophy not a relationship. And it sounds like he is trying to justify the possibility of his being unfaithful or for his own wandering eye. IMHO
My advice is confront him about it and then move on. I have been happily married for almost 30 years now, my husband has loved me & cherished me no matter what the scale said. Unconditional love is what to look for in a possible mate, not someone you have to seek constant approval from... because there will always be someone younger, prettier, etc. and this only INCREASES as years go by. Your love for one another should get sweeter, and more wonderful with time... feeling shamed or judged by your spouse will dampen that unity. We're called to encourage one another daily.
My one question is does he have any sisters? The reason I ask is that if he doesn't, he may just need some gentle correcting on the proper way to encourage a woman... but honestly, it doesn't really sound like encouragement was his purpose.
Good luck! 3 -
JustMissTracy wrote: »jjewell1981 wrote: »What if she was actually the one that sent that message to him? Think about that!
But she didn't. He did. And if she had, then she'd be the superficial one.
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Don't be a doormat--give him the "kiss-off".1
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