A text message I received...what do you think?

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Replies

  • 21Mendoza
    21Mendoza Posts: 5 Member
    First important question. Are you comfortable with your body? Do you feel like you should look like those females he mentioned? If you are comfortable with your body then just let him know how you feel and if he doesn't understand and continues to pressure you then maybe it's time to walk away. I personally do not like it when someone tries to make you into someone you're not physically, emotionally etc. I would understand if it were for health reasons but if it's because he's "embarrassed" or what not then bye Felicia!
  • MaddMaestro
    MaddMaestro Posts: 405 Member
    He loves you and wants you to be healthy. The way he said it could have been better though. I don't know why everyone's calling him bad words
  • km8907
    km8907 Posts: 3,861 Member
    MaddMaestro wrote: »
    He loves you and wants you to be healthy. The way he said it could have been better though. I don't know why everyone's calling him bad words

    Noooope. He wants her to be like the girls he sees at the gym. Big difference.
  • blackcomaro
    blackcomaro Posts: 796 Member
    This is off topic... but what a dousch!! Why does everyone use the term kitten on here.....is it slang for something?? This term is not used in Australia.
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  • jenneemally
    jenneemally Posts: 50 Member
    Hell no....time to let the birdy fly and let someone in your life that appreciates you for YOU! That's a pretty *kitten* thing to say and do. I'm sorry girl.
  • blackcomaro
    blackcomaro Posts: 796 Member
    Hmm... again with the kitten....im lost
  • jenneemally
    jenneemally Posts: 50 Member
    blackcomaro wrote: »
    Hmm... again with the kitten....im lost

    It's supposed to say *kitten*
  • toned_thugs_n_harmony
    toned_thugs_n_harmony Posts: 1,001 Member
    blackcomaro wrote: »
    This is off topic... but what a dousch!! Why does everyone use the term kitten on here.....is it slang for something?? This term is not used in Australia.

    they change curse words to the word kitten.

  • goodasgoldilox165
    goodasgoldilox165 Posts: 333 Member
    I'm sure he has good qualities - after all he did attract you. However, even allowing for all the worries of having a new job in a new place, it is clear that he is insensitive and pretty insecure. He seems dependent on what he thinks others thinks. He really does sound weak and really needs a workout for his mind. Are any of his good qualities worth this? Shed no tears over this. (Pearls and swine come to mind!)
  • LeeBGoode
    LeeBGoode Posts: 30 Member
    8 years is a long time, and at that point it takes a lot to walk away. I was in an awful relationship and one day after a fight I had this moment of clarity where I could see the rest of my life stretching before me, and I knew in that moment that nothing would ever change. It hadn't changed in 5 years, this is just who he was. I left that very second and I never looked back. It was the most painful thing I ever did, but it made me so sad to think of living the rest of my life without getting to experience great love and compassion.

    It's been a few years now, and I am spending the day working from home with my sweetheart and snuggling with my dogs. Life can be so awesome, don't let it pass you by!
  • blackcomaro
    blackcomaro Posts: 796 Member
    they change curse words to the word kitten.

    [/quote]
    Ty... now i get ya... btw dig the screen name
  • toned_thugs_n_harmony
    toned_thugs_n_harmony Posts: 1,001 Member
    blackcomaro wrote: »
    they change curse words to the word kitten.
    Ty... now i get ya... btw dig the screen name[/quote]

    TY!
  • FLBlackMax
    FLBlackMax Posts: 1,283 Member
    Im late to this - but dude is an a**hole. Move on
  • kristikitter
    kristikitter Posts: 602 Member
    Dump their ungrateful *kitten*. NO ONE has control over how you present yourself but YOU. They are not good enough for you.
  • iofred
    iofred Posts: 488 Member
    Girl, life is too short to waste on someone who does not appreciate you for who you are.
    You mention you are thinking about "it", but what do you think about "him" ... if this was your BF who got this text, what would you advise?
  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
    Graphic, but succinct.
  • Theo166
    Theo166 Posts: 2,564 Member
    PlaydohPants wrote: »
    Theo166 wrote: »
    PlaydohPants wrote: »
    Theo166 wrote: »
    PlaydohPants wrote: »
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    Since this thread has crossed its white knight phase, it's worth noting that a majority of men (even the chunky ones) don't prefer dating overweight women. Tons of statistics from the dating sites/apps abound.

    If a guy doesn't want to date overweight women then fine, don't. Don't date someone for 8 years and try to turn them into what you want them to be. And that goes for all aspects not just weight.

    Yea, but the guy is a PT so his career (and personal mission?) is about people getting in shape.

    So? She's not his client

    You imagine someone's career doesn't bleed into their personal life?
    That's living in a bubble.

    His career isn't telling his girlfriend of 8 years that he won't be proud of her unless she's as hot as all of his other options. That's just being a *kitten* *kitten* and excusing that behavior as "it's his career and personal mission" makes you one too

    Now you are projecting what I think, in my first post I said the guy was as "deep as a teaspoon". I think he's a DB and is working to end the relationship.

    Recently I'm objecting to the absolutism here that a partner isn't allowed to care about appearances, or that any comments on health are inappropriate (if you really loved them). If I was a PT I would be urging my friends and family to get in shape, but I wouldn't be implying I was going to trade up.
  • OneHundredToLose
    OneHundredToLose Posts: 8,523 Member
    It's definitely a *kitten* thing to say to someone, but everyone is entitled to seek what they want in a relationship / companion. Best thing to do is disassociate and move on, as it appears your viewpoints are not compatible.
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  • ShrinkingViolet1982
    ShrinkingViolet1982 Posts: 919 Member
    toned_thugs_n_harmony wrote: »
    blackcomaro wrote: »
    This is off topic... but what a dousch!! Why does everyone use the term kitten on here.....is it slang for something?? This term is not used in Australia.

    they change curse words to the word kitten.

    So if I type *kitten* they will change it?
  • ShrinkingViolet1982
    ShrinkingViolet1982 Posts: 919 Member
    edited January 2017
    AHAHAHAHAHAHA I have never seen that before.
    (Ie: I saw tons of *kitten* but I thought people were editing their own to be funny and AVOID auto-censoring. Like someone had sworn too often, got banned, and started a funny "Let's all say *kitten* to avoid the mods" type of joke.)
  • Rabid_Hamster
    Rabid_Hamster Posts: 338 Member
    To the OP, I see a slightly different take on the text (but still not a positive one).
    First, something like that should NEVER be sent as a text, or email, or written word. It's far too easy to interpret a different message than what was intended. Even if spoken, it's a tricky thing, depending on context intended. It couldn't have been done to initiate you being healthier because you are active on MFP so that is clearly already under way.
    With that being said: Here's what I got from it. You mentioned it's currently a long distance thing, even though it's a relationship of 8 years. PERHAPS he doesn't have the stones to just break up with you. Maybe He "thinks" he has "better" options where he is because of the circumstances, or maybe there is someone genuinely interested in him. It seems to me that the text was intended to anger/upset you enough to initiate the break-up. Confront him directly and ask what he meant by it....Based on his response (or lack of) maybe it does require YOU kicking him to the curb.
  • pagefan
    pagefan Posts: 31 Member
    you are asking a bunch of strangers their opinion because i think you're in disbelief of the response you received.. i go with all of the above. Kick him to the curb. 8 years, you're lucky you're NOT married.
  • fatboychia
    fatboychia Posts: 18 Member
    You are a total hottie, break up with him and go out with someone that will adore you for you no matter how you physically look. In the business, he is what is referred to as a "Dee Bag". Its an industry-technical term.
  • mcbride_35
    mcbride_35 Posts: 2 Member
    I think he's trying to get you to break up with him. That way, in his mind he didn't do anything wrong and it's your fault that things didn't work out. Anybody that works in a gym, is always positive and encouraging. Not belittle them....
    After 8 years he should be proud of you and not be talking about girls that are slim or toned... sorry but I really hate shallow people.... You can do much better, and be so much happier. Wish you well...
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