Team UK - July 2010

kpnuts23

Good morning everyone... :flowerforyou:

Ive had a rollercoster of a weekend! Friday - chilled out with the girls, had a bbq (typical sausages and burgers).. couple of ciders... Oops!
Saturday i had a Polo event with work.. definately overate - overdrank.. but its fine i can deal with it...:laugh:
Sunday i just mooched about the house most of the day.. weather was fab so i sat out in the garden for the most of it... Sunday evening came.. My dad likes a drink.. Actually he likes a LOT to drink.. and this happens pretty much every sunday for as long as i can remember... he will drink and drink and drink until hes in the foulest mood known to man.. his temper is so short and he gets extreamly angry/repetative and it all blew up last night in a massive rage.. I hope you dont mind me sharing it with you all but im in a really bad place right now. I have had enough of these outbursts of pure anger.. all because he cannot control the alcohol intake.. he can go one way or the other... and he went the other way last night and upset me so much.. im tierd of waiting for something to happen like this on a sunday night.. i told my mum i HATE sundays for this fact alone.. i do not look forward to sitting down to a sunday roast or bbq because i know dad will be drunk, or on his way.. and there is no way you can have an adult convo with him.. hes really upset me.. and its upsetting my mum seeing me like this.. my mum said to me last night that she wish i'd had a father like hers, calming, relaxed and a lovely man. i think she feels partly responsible for these outbursts but most of the time its due to something that either me or my brother have done earlier on in the week, but hes held it insude until hes drunk as a skunk and feels the need to completely blow the roof off...

Any parents out there, your support/comments would be greatly appreciated as i seem to be hitting a brick wall right now as to why he does this?

Help!

Thanks for taking the time to listen/read what i've had to say... i know its quite a personal matter, but i need to talk to someone..

Katherine :frown:

kpnuts23

Hey folks, how's it going? I'm Geoff from Wirral, been on here about 2 months and nearly on my 1 stone loss. Wobbled a bit recently otherwise I definitely would have hit it by now. Please feel free to add me as a friend on here - I'll always respond to messages and throw out advice when i can.

Welcome to the group!!

Norbert2010

Sorry to hear about your experience KP, as a parent to four children and someone who has had alcohol problems I am probably qualified on both counts!

I haven't touched a drop for nearly 8 years now as I was never able to stop once I started drinking. My behaviour was appalling and I was hugely intolerant of all those around me. You cannot make your father get help for his drinking, that needs to come from his realisation of a problem. You can however tell him just how he is making you feel when he is drunk. Obviously it would make sense to do this when he has not been drinking.

There is no rationalisation with a drunk and arguing is pointless, it will only inflame the situation. I would be more inclined to remove yourself from the situation if it happens again, if like you say it is a regular occurence then it is probably best to explain during a sober time that you will no longer be part of it and that from now on you will make alternative arrangements on a Sunday.

JimJam87

Sorry to hear about that KP, it can't be easy. I dont have any experience of that but I completely agree with Norbert and would make alternative arrangements on a Sunday until your dad realises what he's putting you through and gets himself some help.
Have you talked to your brother about this as well, maybe you could confront your dad together with your mum when he's sober and explain exactly how he's affecting you. Maybe he doesnt realise if he's that drunk and you all approcahing him together might make him sit up and listen, until then I would just remove myself from the situation as you say.
Good luck hun, hope you work things out xxx

erikazj

Hey everyone,

KP - I'm sorry, I don't have any direct experience that I can help you with, but Norbert's advice comes across as very sound. Remove yourself from the situation (and explain why beforehand when he's sober). Good luck. Vent here as much as you need. We can always listen.

I did the 10km on Saturday, and it was very hot! I did not feel good, and was incredibly slow, but it's done. Going to try and find another one in the next few weeks so I can try and have a better race experience before I have to run the half marathon in October.

I hope you all have good weeks.

Erika x

Norbert2010

Well done on the 10k in the heat Erika, I really do struggle in this weather. I have a race in Scotland on Saturday and am really hoping for 'traditional' Scottish weather!

Which HM are you doing in October?

erikazj

Well done on the 10k in the heat Erika, I really do struggle in this weather. I have a race in Scotland on Saturday and am really hoping for 'traditional' Scottish weather!

Which HM are you doing in October?

I'm doing the Royal Parks Half Marathon, in Hyde Park. Running with a team from work, and I personally am raiaing money for the Motor Neurone Disease Association.

Good luck with your race on Saturday, and I'll keep my fingers crossed for a cool dry day for you!

E

Norbert2010

Excellent, my wife was looking at that one for her first HM but it filled up pretty quickly and she didn't really want the pressure of running for a charity.

The forecast for the weekend is looking favourable at the moment with lots of rain, my kind of running weather.

partoliz

Hi everyone from sunny Warrington

This is my first week on here and seem to be doing OK. No wonder i wasn't losing weight before god i ate soooo many calories i suprised that i was not the size of a house.

Anyway I have stuck to calories well and doing lots of exercising

Hopefully i will lose this week and that will make me smile

Wish me luck




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kpnuts23

Sorry to hear about your experience KP, as a parent to four children and someone who has had alcohol problems I am probably qualified on both counts!

I haven't touched a drop for nearly 8 years now as I was never able to stop once I started drinking. My behaviour was appalling and I was hugely intolerant of all those around me. You cannot make your father get help for his drinking, that needs to come from his realisation of a problem. You can however tell him just how he is making you feel when he is drunk. Obviously it would make sense to do this when he has not been drinking.

There is no rationalisation with a drunk and arguing is pointless, it will only inflame the situation. I would be more inclined to remove yourself from the situation if it happens again, if like you say it is a regular occurence then it is probably best to explain during a sober time that you will no longer be part of it and that from now on you will make alternative arrangements on a Sunday.

Norbet - thank you for your words of advise.. i will take them on board.. its a difficult situation to be in because we are all expected to be "fine" the next day.. and its not easy to be.. i will feel very uncomfortable when i go home after football tonight.. i almost dont want to go home so i can avoid any contact.. my freind invited me round hers later so i might go there..

erikazj - thanks for your support too.. im a little lost right now in my emotions... hoping i dnt go the other way an revert back to the emotional eating... Gahh... WELL DONE on the 10k.. i definately couldnt do it!! Nice work! xx

Love KP xoxox

xXmimiXx

Hey everyone! :happy:

I'm back from my holiday! It was lovely but I sooooooo wish I was still there! :glasses:

Needless so say as usual I slightly sabotaged myself the week before my holiday, I don't know why but when I have a goal I find it almost impossible to do what I know I need to :huh: what's that all about? I think I need to see a "shrink" as Les Americanes say! So my bikini body was alright, alright not good. Far from good. The up side is that I actually wore shorts and some short dresses etc which I never have before and didn't feel like my legs were THAT bad but still, compared to all the Russian super model types in Cyprus I felt like a bit of a bloater! I might put some pics up from my hol and you can tell me what you think! Anyway I feel :grumble: that's supposed to be blue...after the holiday hype now back to normality with nothing ot look forward to :sad: so I want to go on holiday again in September/October so this time I will be the belle of the beach...hey I'm like poor really so I probably won't end up going on holiday again but the thought that I might is helping me feel cheerful! :laugh:

I didn't post much in June but I'm going to be a lot better this month and from now on, I need to get my butt in gear, there's really NO REASON at all it should take someone like me half a year to lose a stone :noway: seriously. It's pathetic. Anyway I hope you're all good and I see some familiar faces here and lots of new ones which is awesome :drinker:

I did spin last night for the first time in 2 weeks and it was 45 mins of hill climb and the resistance on my bike was so high I could barely turn the wheel around...I nearly threw up!!!!!!! It's on again tonight but I think I might do normal gym tonight and spin again tomorrow...what do you think!?

Mimi xxx

Happy Tuesday!

lesley1981

Morning

I was a very naughty girl over the weekend! It was a bank holiday weekend over here, so everyone was out drinking and eating. I wasn't too bad in that I didn't drink, but the eating was definitely a problem. I made the mistake of going to the cinema with an empty stomach... I almost made myself sick with popcorn! and yesterday, well... I'm wiping it from my memory!

I'm back to work today (which is another bank hol, but not a public hol so i don't get it off) and I'm full of good intentions :happy:

KP, sorry to hear about your experiences... I know only too well how you must feel :frown:

Two of my uncles have died due to alcoholism, and they were the nicest of men when they were sober, but drunk it was like someone had flicked a swich that made them agressive! This agression was never physical, always verbal, but sometimes the things that were said were difficult to ignore. Unfortunately, the best thing you can do is ignore it, walk away, and leave them to fester in their own agression, as arguing back only heightens it. Generally, (and I know they say the truth comes out when you're drunk) this agression is never meant, and a sober reminder of what was said makes them very apologetic.

My mother is also a drinker (only on weekends, and it doesn't take much for her) and she can say some very hurtful things when drunk... I just say goodnight and close the door behind me.

bekylouisex3

Hello everyone I'm Beky

I joined MFP yesterday as I heard about it on the Beachbody website and to be honest I love it! The simplicity of counting my calories is not a chore anymore.

I am aiming to lose around 20 lbs with the P90 workout which I am on Day 8 currently. I have been struggling to keep to a healthy diet whilst doing the P90 but now that I have MFP it's so easy! (Y)

After weighing myself today, I have lost 3lbs in a week which is AMAZING it is so rewarding when you see the number on the scale lowering and it has given me extra motivation to complete the full 90 days :]

I hope everyone achieves their goals sooner or later..and remember Keep Pressing Play :P

MistahLee31

partoliz wrote:

Hi everyone from sunny Warrington

This is my first week on here and seem to be doing OK. No wonder i wasn't losing weight before god i ate soooo many calories i suprised that i was not the size of a house.

Anyway I have stuck to calories well and doing lots of exercising

Hopefully i will lose this week and that will make me smile

Wish me luck

Whoo hoo!! Someone else from Warrington! :happy: Welcome to the board!

MistahLee31

KP - Sorry to hear about what happened. My dad was similar in that he likes a drink, he can probably go through several cans a night, and that's every night!! I asked mum to have a word with him and he seems to have calmed down, now he only seems to drink 1 or 2 and not always every night. I hope your dad manages to sort things out and see how it's affecting yourself and your mum. x

Hey all, started a detox this week, and it seems to be going okay at the moment. still get the occassional bouts of hunger, but I'm that busy in work and going the gym that I just forget about it. It's only for 4 days, but I'm thinking of doing it each week for a month to see if it will help my weight loss. It's certainly helping with the shopping bills; only spend half what we normally would on food, lol!

As my previous note my target was quite simply to lose weight. I've been stuck in a plateau for a month or two now and I need something to kickstart me. Exercise is not a problem. My weekly calorie burn target is 2,250. Last week I burnt 4,112 cals and the week before I burnt 2,728 cals. Instead of using the car and wasting petrol spending 5 minutes driving to the gym, I now walk there. It's only 35 mins and it's a lovely walk. Going there and back, I can burn at least 600-620 cals and that's not even adding my workout to it.

So hopefully all this exercise linked with this detox will help me, not only get off the plateau that I'm currently on, but get off it by jumping in the air, doing a couple of somersaults and landing on my feet! :laugh:

Good luck to everyone for this week!

Lee. :glasses:

xXmimiXx

Hey Lee

Detox awesome! I really want to do a detox...which one are you doing? What's a day's "food" like?

I look forward to hearing all about the success of it! :-)

Mimi xxx

xXmimiXx

Well done on the loss :-) xx

Plantpot

Hi Team UK, hope all is well!!

Mimi - welcome back, hope you have had a fab time!!!

Lee - Good luck with the detox - tough to do during the summer month, but looks like us northerners have had our sunshine for the year, certainly looks like that in Manchester, we have got torrential rain while I am typing this!!!

KP - really sorry to hear you are having trouble at home, I feel your pain hun, my family life wasnt easy, and my mum fell out with me at the weekend over something and nothing..... whats the saying, you cant choose your family. But think the idea of getting some space on a Sunday may be a good shoat, and maybe trying to chat when you think your Dad can listen (i.e. no drink in hand), or maybe even a letter, sometimes its easier to say things in writing. Hope things get better for you hun.


Just a quick check in, my first week on Weight Watchers is done and I have lost 2.5 lbs. I think the pressure of a weekly weigh in is what I need. I very nearly didnt got for weigh in this week as was off work Monday and Tuesday poorly, but was back in today and there is a WW meeting in town, so thought I would go. Really glad I did now, as I am focused for loosing again at next weeks weigh in.

I got the 30 day shred DVD over the weekend, and planning to stick to it everyday along with a coupld or runs and British Military Fitness workouts a week. Got 4 weeks till Ibiza so really going to give it my all.

Although I am not logging my cals on here at the mo, I am still loving checking in and seeing how everyone is doing.

Keep up the good work UKer's!!

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Simplicity

Got a mountain bike at the weekend and have given up using car for work. Figured I could use the bike instead. Hoping it will burn a few extra calories. I'm not weighing myself till the weekend but i feel a tiny bit smaller belt-wise! Finally feel on top of things since the holiday. Can't wait to get back down to 12st as its my happy confident weight! Any things less is a bonus.
Looking forward to the start of a new job too. On more week in this job to go!

KP- Sorry to hear bout ya dad. Not in a position to give much advice but I know how nasty alcohol can be in the wrong hands. Hope it turns out ok.

Ben
x

kpnuts23

Good morning everyone...

OMG... This weather is depressing!! Where did the sun go!? HaHa :laugh:

Just an update on the Dad situation (btw, thank you for all your support, it truely means a LOT)......
So on monday evening i avoided going home till about 7.30.. just because i couldnt face him.. so i decided i would go to my friends house for a catch up and a bit of moral support.. which she is very good at.. I think she is also part of MFP, but only via her iPhone... "abjoy"..
...anywhoo i got home to find that dads car wasnt there.. i knew he had been at the office all day so i presumed he was just stuck on the dreaded M25! I walked inside, said hi to mum and asked the obvious.. "wheres dad?".. she told me he wasnt coming home tonight, feels it would be better if he stayed away for the night to clear his head, think about how he has f***ed up.. his words, not mine! That was fine with me.. just meant that i would have to wait another day to get anything sorted out..:ohwell: .. so tuesday came along and this time i KNEW he was going to be at home.. i had to face the music.. once again i delayed going home.. i should have gone to the gym, but im not gonna lie.. i've lost all motivation this week! I walked in the front door and mum called a family meeting in the kitchen.. I felt SOOO awkward.. did not like being in that situation.. but i suppose it had to be done. Dad apologies for his behaviour, the way he spoke to us and how he felt so embarressed at his actions. he made it clear he wouldnt be drinking on a sunday (thank god) because he realises now how much it upsets me to see him like that.. I still cant fully forgive him and i dont feel like i can be the same around him yet.. so for now, there is peace in the house.. I know i should be normal around him but im finding it VERY difficult to even look at him in the face.. it all still bothers me..

So thats my little story in a nutshell.. thank u for taking the time to read...
Im going on holiday next wednesday - I cant wait!! Cyprus here i come!! :drinker:

MIMI YOUR PHOTO IS GORGEOUS!!!!

Ben, Lee, Plantpot - thanks for the kind words..x x x

Hope you are all ok!?!

Love Katherine x