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My date with the person above me was going great until...
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He legitimately thought he was super man0
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She ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon0
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iamgroot909 wrote: »She ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon
I sent you a message..
He told me all I could have was a toothpick and a glass of water0 -
She started quoting Crocodile Dundee 2.0
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He argued that Harry Potter is legitimate literature with me, an English professor0
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It came time to pay the bill and he didn't have any money.0
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She ordered the biggest steak on the menu, added a lobster tail, and drank glass after glass of blue label... I wasn't going to pay for all that0
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He walked in the restaurant with dirty feet and dipped a napkin in my water to try and clean them0
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He gave me ^^^ that look and made me cry0
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She asked me if her handkerchief smelled like chloroform0
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I woke up naked on the side of the road..0
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It was time to go back to work...0
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I woke up wearing her clothes and a clown nose0
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He listed off all the places he's stuck the clown nose.0
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I asked if I could be in his band and he handed me a cowbell1
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he mocked my being raised by wolves.0
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She is not a good cook and made me cheerios and salami for dinner. In hindsight, I should have drank beforehand... that *kitten* might have been cute then0
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She drugged me and dragged me to her basement1
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The drugs wore off and I found out he had a micro penis.0
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Our date was amazing until she educated me on penis sizing standardization practices. I figured a healthy one is a good one but after that talk, I felt inadequate myself0
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She didn't like my offer of coming back to my house in the woods.0
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wanted to steal my soul, but I wouldn't let her this time0
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I found out he was soulless1
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We parked by the lake, and one thing led to another until she said:
Stop right there!
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?0 -
He sang meat loaf songs all night.. I just wanted to canoodle and he wanted to sing0
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she wanted to canoodle0
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slimgirljo15 wrote: »
Well get a mani and pedi woman jesus1
This discussion has been closed.
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