Good Bad Jokes

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  • taco_inspector
    taco_inspector Posts: 7,223 Member
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    What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
    Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!
  • FaeryLove18
    FaeryLove18 Posts: 41 Member
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    What did the hamburger name her daughter? :)
    PATTY :p
  • melaniedscott
    melaniedscott Posts: 1,307 Member
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    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    a man walks into a bar and orders six shots.

    the bartender says "rough day huh?"

    the man says, "yes, very rough." he then goes home and hangs himself.

    How is this funny?
  • dawson002
    dawson002 Posts: 170 Member
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    just seen a guy running around making machine gun noises.....I think he suffers from Turrets Syndrome!!
  • Tweaking_Time
    Tweaking_Time Posts: 733 Member
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    If you are American when you go into the bathroom, and you are American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you are in the bathroom?

    European
  • SashaQ1381
    SashaQ1381 Posts: 35 Member
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    Wife: I look old, fat, and ugly! I really need you to pay me a compliment.
    Hubby: Your eyesight is damn near perfect! :smiley:
  • taco_inspector
    taco_inspector Posts: 7,223 Member
    edited April 2017
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    What do you call children conceived in a whorehouse?

    Brothel Sprouts !
  • dawson002
    dawson002 Posts: 170 Member
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    I told my wife she would look great with a Brazilian.....but I don't like her new boyfriend Miguel!!
  • dawson002
    dawson002 Posts: 170 Member
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    I put my pet cockerel on a fitness regime......you should see his pecks now!!
  • dawson002
    dawson002 Posts: 170 Member
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    theres no easy way to say this.....I have a lisp!!
  • dawson002
    dawson002 Posts: 170 Member
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    if you rearrange the letters of "postmen".....they get very annoyed!!
  • dawson002
    dawson002 Posts: 170 Member
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    I hate people who moan about genetically modified foods.....I've just had a lovely leg of cod!!
  • dawson002
    dawson002 Posts: 170 Member
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    I've just been invited to the drag racing.....how do they run in heels?
  • dawson002
    dawson002 Posts: 170 Member
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    Out tonight with the lads from OCD anonymous tonight....things aren't going to get messy!!
  • Dekayla13
    Dekayla13 Posts: 64 Member
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    What did Jeffrey Dahmer call the Tour de France?

    Meal on Wheels
  • dawson002
    dawson002 Posts: 170 Member
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    been comparing my skin tone after my holiday in Bangkok with my mate who's been to Phucket....it really is the clash of the Thai tans!!
  • Tweaking_Time
    Tweaking_Time Posts: 733 Member
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    I thought it was a booger but it's not :p
    (say it out loud)

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