WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2017
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Becca - sorry to hear about your sister estrangement. I know that has to hurt. If it were me - I think I would likely continue sending her cards. Keeping the connection. Not dropping my end of the string. But - to release the hurt feelings... I would write a letter to her. Pour out all my feelings about this. Then - burn the letter. Release it to the universe. Some folks might mail it to the sister ... but I don't really see any good in that. I think it could cause more problems. I want to inspire her to reconnect - not give her a reason to dig in deeper.
I can't force people to act a certain way or to feel a closeness they don't feel. I can only control my actions. I would choose to continue sharing my love for her. Choose not to let her lack of reciprocation be a reason to stop reaching out. There's something going on within her... it likely has little to do with you. Send cards. Send her photos. Say "love you always and forever" if that's how you feel. But... you have an open door. It's up to her to walk through it. Live your own happy life knowing you've done all you can do.
I once had a boss with whom I had a great relationship. We had been co-workers for years and I was very happy working as his assistant when he became head of a department. He became seriously ill. He came back to work for a time and was changed. Angry. He began shutting me out. Having private meetings with another gossipy troublemaking co-worker. Then giving me orders to do some ridiculous things. Like micromanage office manager... wanting me to write up an office manager for having dust on chairs in a conference room. It seemed his lack of control about his health - turned into him feeling the need to control everything he could. It was ugly. It was very hurtful. He died from his illness. I was depressed. To the point of crying and staying in bed. I went to a therapist. It took a few sessions. The therapist had me write him a letter to express how I felt. I couldn't read it to her. It was too painful. (I later burned the letter and told him I forgave his treatment of me and forgave myself for holding onto the hurt so long.) But after writing the letter. I could talk about him without crying. I felt a great weight lifted off my shoulders. Your situation with your sister may not be the same - but perhaps writing the letter will help you release the sadness.
Hugs to you!
--Ginger in Texas6 -
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Heather: My DH will turn 70 in May. It is a mind boggler.
Yvonne: I'm in favor of puppies and near miss, but don't know a thing about chia.
Becca: I'm an only child and have no experience to help me fully understand your hurt. I think you are delightful and your sister is a fool. We can't make up for her, but you have friends and sisters of the heart in this group.
Pip: Keep an eye on DH and do all the caring things that go with cold and flu. If it is a virus the doctors can't help anyway. (((HUGS)))
Lanette: I'm not a fan of high heat, either and I think that includes anything over 85. Dry would be nice. :grumble:
I am having a low energy day. I don't actually know why my energy is low, but I'm resting and enjoying the chance to read library books.
Katla in beautiful NW Oregon
"So many of us believe in perfection, which ruins everything else, because the perfect is not only the enemy of the good; it's also the enemy of the realistic, the possible and the fun."
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Just stopping by to say hi. I woke up early and jumped up and started working on selecting my clothes for the SE Asia trip. About three hours later, I had to get back in bed II was so tired. Just a wasted day. Hope everyone is doing good today. Really, really windy here. Glad I didn't sign up for golf.
SueBDew4 -
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Pip, great photo! Isn't every day at your house Puppy Day? LOL!
How did your job situation turn out, by the way. Did you get everything resolved OK? Are you downstairs now?
Hope it's going well!
Kelly - yes, Baby Joaquin is a yogi, perfectly meditating. OOOMMMM, lol. He is so darn cute!!
Becca, (((hugs))) - I think Janet is right on the money. You are a warm, loving, caring person and if she ignores that, then you've done the best you can do. Sometimes when you let go, that opens things up from the other side, too.
I had to smile when you mentioned what "Mom would want". A part of my Mom resides in my brain as well and sometimes I have to tell her, "Mom, you were right about a lot of things but I think on this one, you aren't" then I imagine her saying, "Yes, I see your point."
I regret a bit that DH and I aren't closer both physically and emotionally to our siblings, but we realize we all have lives that no longer include each other, especially across the miles - they all live in the Midwest. Except for occasional emails, and a rare phone call, that's it. They aren't on Facebook.
We are grateful they are happy and healthy and NOT parked on our doorstep asking for money, or a place to "crash" with the latest squeeze fresh out of prison, lol. Tho a week here with former Marine Staff Sgt. DH in charge would be a "boot camp" they'd not forget.
DH ran to town this morning and picked up lawn fertilizer and just finished the first lawn mow (only in the high spots) this year. He's feeling much better. Hooray!
Lanette
SW WA State where I see a day of sunshine coming for us in the Pacific Northwest in a week, lol. I know I'll be the first one to whine when it gets over 75f - a 50f to 75f degree window is just fine with me.
No, not down there yet, new boss can't make up her mind. Who knows.
Good news is I'm off on Friday and Monday, we r going to our lot at the beach with the kids. We r going to workout tomorrow morning then leave from there. About a 3hr drive. Spotty reception so we will c if I keep posting3 -
Katla Thanks for the electric kettle info! They don't make 'em the way they used to, I guess. I chose a nice little Hamilton Beach 1 liter stainless steel one that is perfect for us: https://www.amazon.com/Hamilton-Beach-40998-Stainless-Electric/dp/B00ZPN3O2I
Oh, and I meant the pup tent living figuratively. I hate sleeping on the ground in a tent, also, and actually opted to go to a hotel once while all my white water rafting buddies camped. I don't mind roughing it on the river, but once on shore, I want a hot shower, a soft bed, and a roof over my head.
Your boat, you see, qualifies as pup tent living, because you have just what you need to be comfortable and efficient, and not a whole lot of extra stuff. My goal is to have everything whittled down to "the best of the best" by the time I retire, so if we want to move, it won't take a lot of work and angst to pack up and go.
Kelly Joaquin is so sweet and handsome! Keep the photos coming, please, I love them.
Becca My mom used to say to "do what you can to get the outcome you want...then let go of the outcome". Maybe instead of letting go of your sister, you could let go of the outcome. You have done what you can do. The ball is in her court.
Cheri
We were busy today, despite my intention to have a low key day. Sent our love to Olivia's other grandparents who are visiting her in California right now, took our lawn tractor to be serviced, had the oven repair guy over to finish the job he started last week, bought a new back up battery for the dog fence, did some laundry, made yogurt, picked up the clutter, went through some mail, trimmed the hair around Mabel's neck (Mabel is a Yorkie, not my partner LOL!!!), folded a bunch of tarps, and ordered a new tire pressure inflator.
Now I am going to sit on my behind and catch up on the news.
Karen in Virginia
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Becca, please don't say that washing your hair is just another thing in your life that you don't follow through. You have so many successes in your life. I think of the wonderful relationship you have with your husband. Yes, you had to work at it to get it. But you did it. You have 3 very smart, intuitive wonderful , not to mention handsome, sons. You make so many people happy when you just spontaneously sing to them or a group. You have this intuition that some one needs a hug. You have so many strengths. Please remember them, not just that you washed your hair. Washing your hair does not define who you are.
You want to talk about a husband who likes control???? That is Charlie to a T. He likes to say he is giving a person a choice, but the things he gives as a choice are things he likes and is a limited list. But his Parkinson's is kicking his butt at times. And his lack of ability of opening his billfold is hurting that. We went to Cracker Barrel tonight and he had such a hard time pulling his chair up to the table. I mentioned it and he said that the floor was in an odd tile. So I pushed my seat back and then easily pulled it forward to show him that the tile is not his problem. I just wish the co-pay for physical or occupational therapy was not $40. We really need to join the Y and maybe some one there would be able to help him. We have two Ys here and one of them have a program that uses boxing for people with Parkinson's but it's the downtown location which means finding parking and also interacting with people in a group and that is not Charlie. He interacts with his Karaoke friends that he has had for a long time. At first he only interacted with his 2 friends he has known since childhood. Gradually through the years he has made other friends when he sings. I think now his circle is up to 6 people. He has to control what the conversation is about which is politics and politics or maybe politics. If you don't walk that he just talks louder. His medicine was increased last fall and he is able to grip things easier and get his billfold out of his pocket. I was reading my face book memories today and in 2013 I was writing about how slow he was walking after his heart attack. Two reasons, one, the doctor would only let him walk 1/2 mile starting out and he had never been on a beta blocker and he didn't like how slow it made him feel. I wrote that he looked like a race horse held back before a race. We were grocery shopping today and I invented things for me to get in another aisle just so I could walk faster.
OK, Joyce. Rambling again.
Joyce, Indiana4 -
stats for the day:
slow day:
wahoo hrm not working, all applewatch-
bike ride hm 2 gym- 12.34min, 14amph, 2.9mi = 101c
walk- heart rate zone profile- 27min, 3.6speed 0-15incline, 112ahr, 17.13ap, 1.57mi = 181c
bike ride gym 2 dome train station- 7.21min, 11.5amph, 1.4mi = 57c
jog station 2 wk- 4.43min, 9.23min mi, .5mi = 64c
jog wk 2 sta- 4.47min, 9.19min mi, .5mi = 70c
bike ride dome 2 hm up Mst- 18.17min, 8amph, 2.4mi = 151c
total cal 624c2 -
A phone call to my eldest sister has put my heart at ease. We both know for our own health, we can't set ourselves up, only to be let down.
You can't support a connection with another all by yourself. I have written to my sister a couple of times sharing with her my concerns. Nothing changes.
So my concentration will now be on the relationships that do work, that are important to me. Like my friends here in my community, my chosen friends back in California, all you beautiful ladies, and my family that I have. Friends and family are connections that lift you up, not bring you down. So thanks my favorite group of Goddesses!
Becca
Watching the series My 600+ Life.. Wow her legs are scary! Her Lymph oedema is heart wrenching. Eating to stuff the emotions. Looking at the dark side of eating to fill a void.
In rainy Oregon5 -
Ginger: I love your positive message. We are doing an amazing job at life. Thanks for the morale booster.
I'm thinking of our British friends just now and I hope that you and your loved ones are safe and out of harm's way. I decided to offer a quotation from Winston Churchill.
"When you are going through hell....keep going." Winston Churchill
Katla in beautiful NW Oregon
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Call me crazy but I love to see other people happy and succeeding .
Good Evening My Dear Friends
I hadn’t seen the news but was glad we did hear from Heather. It is so sad that he world can’t feel safe anywhere.
Sarah, good move to cover the “goodies” in the hotel room. Out of site is my favorite way to resist temptation.
Lois, I hope your DH gets great benefit from his shots. I really cringed just reading about it.
Ginger, so glad your optic nerves are still okay. (((Hugs)))
Re, glad you’ve made the decision to at least interview for the position. You don’t have to make the decision on the job yet but like you say, that’s a lot of money to turn your back on when it’s a job you would enjoy.
Beth, I’m so happy to hear you have some good candidates lined up for your son’s care. Also glad your dad is improving and will continue to send prayers for his healing.
“Well as usual I just went rambling along and took you along with me!!!!
Joyce, Indiana” Just so you know, I enjoy your rambles so keep em up.
Heather, what a sweet message from your son. So glad you are safe and sound.
NYKaren, have you been having problems with the masonry on the chimney? Sorry to hear about that.
to any Newbies. Come often and join in the chat. This thing works!! Please sign your post with what you want to be called. It makes it easier for us to respond to you. Also a location is great, be it specific or general. We are happy to have you join us.
I spent much of the day folding, cutting and stringing the plastic grocery bags for the ladies to crochet into mats for the homeless. It’s a project the Ladies of the Moose are doing and I don’t crochet so I do all the time consuming prep work to get it in balls of plastic yarn for others to crochet. I had gotten behind and had a ton of grocery bags piling up and barely made a dent in it.
Sending love, good thoughts and sunshine to all of you.
I Love you
DJ
Myrtle Beach, SC
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Hi ladies - Thanks to all of you wishing me a "Happy Birthday" ... it was quiet, for the most part. Tonight we went to DOS and family's house to eat supper. I had forgotten we had been asked the day before ... so I went way over my CI for the day; but, I did not eat much yesterday. A few moments of a 'pity party' ... not because of age; but, because there are just some things, no matter how much you'd like to, can't be changed. I have a family member who lays it all out on FB; but, I won't make friends with her ... I can see what she is saying through other ways. I choose not to. Yes, Pip, I'm Lenora and a/k/a "GRITS" (GRITSandSLUTS).
Got a BD call from middle sister, this time she did not try to engage me in a political battle. LOL! She'd like for us to come down for a 'working vacation'. She isn't happy with the paint job done on her condo. We'd love to go; but, Louis is 'snowed under' (which is a good thing, for the most part).
Glassed-in porch is making a 'little progress' ... at least I have 'something' that will keep the 'cold wind' out and it stays pretty reasonable out there ... until it starts getting hot. Had to have A/C-Heat guy come check unit. It was 85° in her yesterday evening! I had not been outside, so I really did not notice ... Louis said 'it's cooler outside then it is in here'!!!! So we opened the front 2 windows; opened the porch door the width of a brick, and, left the French Doors opened (until it cooled down). A/C guy gave me an estimate on running A/C-Heat in there with 2 vents. Wasn't too terribly bad.
For a few moments that "66" turned upside-down to a "99"; but, it went back upright quickly. Got the house clean for the appraiser. He was very complimentary ... and they are considering the entire acreage. The woman out in TX who is working on the loan keeps sending another email (almost daily) saying she doesn't have this or that in her file. I am convinced that she must be 'new' and doesn't want to make 'any' mistakes. She has 'insisted' on a "Profit & Loss" document which I told her was 'in the tax return'; but, she is 'insistent' so my friend is going to type something up for her ... but it still going to be the same thing. I don't know why she can't accept that document that is part of our Return. TJ said she wants the copy of a separate document, she'll get it. She had said that she'd send me a 'template' and that I did not need for a CPA to do it. I wasn't going to get a CPA to do it anyway. My BF is an accountant.
I finally got the "Letter" she has insisted I get from one of the creditors to put 'in writing' the pay-off. Three of them contacted; one even had the audacity to 'ask me why I wanted it'. DUH!!!! Son is going to pay off the FASFA loan. Not giving other son any $$$ towards tuition ... that will free up $250 for me. When you are on a 'fixed' income, you really don't need to have bills keep going up. Been threatening DirecTV with changing from them, because their bill started off about $90 and now it is almost $185. But, then I had to deal with someone from DISH. They have called several times about when they can send out a technician and then he will get us to 'sign the paperwork'. What the Hello-Kitty? I'm NOT going anywhere or doing anything until they send me a list of their packages and what is in them. Louis got so mad talking to DirecTV, that he threw the phone over the ottoman on the floor.
Still getting unwanted calls from the same # from the same town. I've started answering: "Fire Department, where's your emergency?" The other day I said it twice then yelled, "Captain, same number, they aren't telling me where the emergency is ... oh, and by the way, caller, the police are being called and the line is being traced." CLICK!
I've got to work hard at trying to keep my calories burned higher than my calories eaten. I'll just pretend that the last 2 days have been a 'weekend' and get back to it tomorrow.
Sorry if there are any typos, I am too tired to proofread it.
Lenora1 -
That's a wonderful cause to volunteer in DJ! I bet your contribution in the process of making those mats is invaluable!
Becca1 -
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NKKaren - I microwave ordinary popcorn. Just toss it in a paper lunch bag and pop it into the microwave. Have to watch it a bit because it will burn easier, but no chemicals, no salt. I add my own seasonings - usually something without salt.
Becca - I too have eliminated a lot of people off Facebook. I can't handle all their drama and problems. Unfortunately, I also have a sister that I do not communicate with - it's her choice. I have others I can talk to that appreciate me for the person I am and do not criticize everything I do. Maybe with time, we will begin to talk to each other again, but I am not going to worry about it or stress about it in the meantime. Life goes by too fast.
Prayers and hugs. Thinking of you all.
Paula Y2 -
:flowerforyou:1
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Paula Y. Hugs friend. We choose to surround ourselves with a positive light. Yeah us!
Becca
Your sister-in-heart in Oregon2 -
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Great news! Zachary's heart is strong and healthy. Karen was right - Sinus Arrhythmia. The doctor said most people have it and it may or may never show up on an EKG. Nothing to worry about at all. So now just waiting for the neurologist about the migraines.
Lanette and anyone wanting to make a little extra money and get out of the house for awhile there is an app called Field Agent - it used to be only on IPhone but I understand that it may finally be on Android. Everyday they have jobs in your area that you can choose to do like go to WalMart and take a picture of a certain display and answer a few questions about it. The jobs range from $3 to $15. The great thing is you can let the money accrue in your acct with Field Agent or have it deposited into your bank acct. I used to find jobs and then incorporate them into my shopping for the day. You can even do it while traveling if you have your phone identify where you are. Lanette a lot of times I see jobs that just sit for days in the Chehalis area without anyone doing them. Sometimes there are jobs where you to go to a restaurant and purchase something for which they reimburse you as well as pay you for the job.
Sent out some feelers today to people at the AG's office to see if anyone knows of another non-perm position that might be coming up or a Division that needs help with a case. I did non-perm jobs for years before finally taking a permanent position. Anyway I did get a lead on a job that may be coming up soon.
RE you are looking grrrrreat! It is an attestment to your perseverance as well as proof that Progress not Perfection is the way to go.
Does anyone remember if the last time we heard from Marnie she said they were moving somewhere else or they were just thinking about it? Maybe that's why we haven't heard from her? I sure miss her posting.
Beth hope your Dad continues to show improvement everyday. It's amazing the improvements in medicine and surgery for the elderly. I remember when a person in their 60s went in for surgery (if they could get approval) and you worried about whether they would make it through the surgery. On the other hand not many people lived into their 80s.
Carol the next time your grandkids come over I would suggest earplugs and blinders . . . lol
Becky I feel for you. I hope you are able to find good respite care. I need the same thing just to have some time of my own. Thanks for sharing your story.
Trying to catch up again so ttfn as RE says - I finally looked that up on the internet to see what it means!
Gloria Feeling thankful in WA
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Gloria - great news about Zak, thanks for letting us know.
I too miss Marnie, I always learned something new from her posts.
Janetr OKC0 -
Ohh opossums are so crazy looking! Janetr OKC!! Once when we lived in base housing, we had one in our backyard. We called the housing office, and they told us to corner it with the recycling basket!! I called dog control and they said NEVER do that! I called the housing office back and told them, I probably would have gotten attacked!
Becca
Oregon1 -
Ginger I love your Accountability list. The days that you have lots of checks it makes me happy and the days that there are just a few I feel your pain!
Becca, Becca, Becca - how do I love thee - let me count the ways. Can I be your sister? I promise I'll never diss you
Barbie you always seem so content and happy with your life. I learn a lot from you.
Katla I have a positive affirmation on my computer screen at work that reminds me of you "Do what makes you happy!"
Janetr when are you and DH packing up that RV again and taking off?
One more page to go so I'm off to read again.
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Happy Friday ladies. Reading your posts this a.m. Lifts my heart and sends me off in a positive mood
I will keep you all in mind as I face a
social luncheon, afternoon of meetings, all on a poor night's sleep.
NYKAREN2 -
Gloria asked "Janetr when are you and DH packing up that RV again and taking off?"
We've been hanging around here in case the VA required any further tests or information regarding Jack's claim resulting from exposure to Agent Orange in Southeast Asia during the Viet Nam era, we should have a decision by the end of April. Hopefully we will be heading out again late summer, early Fall. I'm ready
NY KAREN a poor night's sleep is never good. Positive vibes coming your way. (((Hugs)))
Janetr OKC
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