I DO NOT WANT my cake and I DO NOT WANT to eat it too...

shartran

Is it rude to refuse a piece of my own birthday cake?

My sister-in-law always purchases a store bought cake
for my birthday. I do not eat dessert/packaged or, in my view,
'unhealthy'(sugar, fat and other 'questionable' food-like products)items.

Will it be rude to refuse a piece? What can I say to her when I'm offered a
piece?
Thanks!!

Witchdoctor58

Can you tell her in advance? That way there won't be an awkward moment. Happy birthday!

laserturkey

Is there something else you would want in place of a standard birthday cake, that you could request?

As long as there are other people there to eat the cake, then I guess it's no big deal if you don't have any, but to keep it from being awkward, you could accept a small piece and then kind of play with it on your plate. No one is going to be watching you to make sure you actually eat it.

However, if you are only avoiding the cake because you have developed orthorexia, then that's very, very sad.

scottaworley

Just have a piece! I promise it won't kill you.

kevinjb1

Maybe you could have one cake for the guests and a "special" cake just for you. No one has to know it's different or healther.

If you don't want to go that route just take a piece, smile and say thank you. Then pick at it for a bit and put it down. Odds are no one will even notice.

Happy Birthday!

kevinjb1

Is there something else you would want in place of a standard birthday cake, that you could request?

As long as there are other people there to eat the cake, then I guess it's no big deal if you don't have any, but to keep it from being awkward, you could accept a small piece and then kind of play with it on your plate. No one is going to be watching you to make sure you actually eat it.

However, if you are only avoiding the cake because you have developed orthorexia, then that's very, very sad.

Beat me to it! :laugh:

pkul85

Happy birthday Yea, id be bit offended if i were your SIL. She bought it out of love. A piece spoon fed probably wont destroy your body's cleanliness. Or you could take the slice she cuts for you and walk around the house entertaining ( if theres a party in store).. and then just throw bits and pieces out or leave it on a random table ("some random loser left cake lying around!"). I doubt she;ll be following you to see if you've eaten. Good luck & enjoy your day!

mooookie

For my birthday for the last 4 years I have either had watermelon or some fruit medley.
Its my birthday and thats what I ask for.
The trouble at least for me is one piece leads to about 5 pieces.

omgitsgarry

I'd call her before and just explain that you would prefer not to have anything, but thank her for thinking of you. Maybe suggest she gets an eatable arrangement instead of a cake if she still wants to get you something. I'd eat the cake, but that's just me.

Beccawho1977

Make a call and tell her that you'd love to change it up this year with a fruit pizza "cake"...it's still store bought, so minimal effort...plus WAY less calories, which is something everyone can enjoy!

BikerGirlElaine

I haven't had a piece of birthday cake on my birthday for a long time. Some birthdays, if there's a party (mine is the day before a holiday), we've had cake for everyone else. Cake is lots of fun!

What I know to be true is that you not having cake doesn't have to be a big deal. If you don't make a fuss, no one else will.

I would most definitely talk to your sister before the day. That is just common sense -- hash it out ahead of time so that there isn't any drama in the moment.

Anyone who tries to get you to have some, you can just politely say "Oh, no thanks, I really don't want any. Maybe later. And by the way I just love your outfit, where did you find it?" Just deflect the focus away from you and cake.

On my birthday I eat seafood, lots and lots of seafood, drenched in tons of butter. Make sure you still treat yourself to something that you love.

likitisplit

you could accept a small piece and then kind of play with it on your plate. No one is going to be watching you to make sure you actually eat it.

That's such an anorexic strategy. A small slice of birthday cake won't kill the OP, or make her fat.

However, if she doesn't ENJOY birthday cake, there are a number of different things she could request as an alternative. For instance -> http://www.babble.com/babble-voices/invitation-only-rachel-faucett/5-alternative-birthday-cakes-youll-love/

Just google "alternatives to birthday cakes."

Melissa22G

Eat a small piece.

You don't have to gorge on it, besides it was a really kind gesture of her to think of you and buy it.

Or, just feed it to me. I'll eat the cake.

Confuzzled4ever

It's your birthday.

tell her what you want.

They might enjoy the challenge

I was bad.. i ate all kinds of cake. (I got 2 bought for me!! and both of them ended up at my house, plus my son made me cake pops and cookie muffins for my birthday.. UGH Be glad you're only worried about one!!)

but i wont' do that again.. I am STILL reeling from it..

ETA: how about fruit dipped in vanilla yogurt and rolled in nuts?

escloflowneCHANGED

Or you could just have the piece of cake and everyone is happy!?

NYCNika

I would eat a tiny bit and not make a big deal.

If you refuse, and than if you EVER eat a piece of desert or anything unhealthy in front of any of these people, you will look like a crazy .&****.

I have a friend who is on and off vegetarian. One week she will be torturing the waiter regarding if broth has touched any meat and such, and next week she will be eating said meat. It is incredibly annoying and, of course, we can't take her seriously! It just looks like she wants attention all the time.

Iron_Feline

Are you currently getting treated for an eating disorder? ( as per previous posts) if so I would discuss this with your therapist. IMO it would be good for you to have a slice of cake. No foods are unhealthy in moderation and you need fats and sugar as part of a balanced diet.

Capt_Apollo

Will it be rude to refuse a piece? What can I say to her when I'm offered a
piece?
Thanks!!

yes. it would be rude.

and you answered your own question... you say Thanks!!!

CookNLift

It's never rude, unless you say so rudely.

Case in point - I HATE butter-cream. (with a passion) Bunch of friends bought me a butter-cream cake. I blew out the candles, excused myself, and grabbed a beer. When they asked if I was having any I said I was drinking my carbs.

billsica

Highly rude. Your sister went out of her way to get you a cake.
Tell her ahead of time for a different kind of cake, and get off your high horse for the sake of family. Its one day out of the year.

thedreamhazer

If the cake is for you, tell her in advance what you would prefer in its place. If the cake is actually for the other people celebrating with you, then there's nothing wrong with politely refusing.

I'm not against eating cake, but as someone who doesn't really like cake I have refused my own bday cake. People know that I don't like cake. No heads exploded. Overall, people were so busy eating cake that they enjoy that zero ****s were given.