I DO NOT WANT my cake and I DO NOT WANT to eat it too...

littlepinkhearts

I don't think you should have to eat what you don't wanna eat, but at the same time, it's rude to not accept what has been presented to you in your name and in celebration of you. I'd accept it, but just not eat it. (Although if I ever didn't eat cake that was going around, eveyone would know something was wrong with me haha) No one will notice. But like everyone else says, tell your sister in law ahead of time if she doesn't already know. Maybe she can help out with some other arrangement.

Ohhhh and Happy Birthday!!!

YaGigi

Maybe you should ask for a cake you would eat?

Honestly, I'd have a piece just out of respect. A little piece won't hurt you, it's your birthday

CrankMeUp

I like cake.

sunlover89

For those who keep saying that a little bit won't hurt...for some people that sugar is as much of a drug as alcohol is for and alcoholic. One tiny taste is all it takes for a major bender.

I'm still working off the 10 lbs I gained after "just one bowl of ice cream". Alcohol? No problems...I can take it or leave it. But sugar and even white carbs will totally derange my metabolism and brain chemistry.

Refined sugar is a true drug for some people, and need to be treated that way. It's addicting and has a withdrawal syndrome. Since your sister-in-law cares enough about you to get a cake, she will care enough to respect your needs.

At family dinners, I generally remove myself from the table so I don't get too close to dessert (yes, I am weak, and this is what I have to do to be drug-free). I eat some fruit instead, or I eat extra veggies so I feel full by the time dessert rolls around.

I understand that this is a big deal for the O.P. Well-meaning relatives, friend and co-workers need to be informed of issues so as to support the O.P.'s goals. You don't offer alcohol to a recovering alcoholic, so why would you force sugar on someone who has a problem with it?

Yep, offering a piece of cake is JUST like offering a drink to an alcoholic.

Come to think of it, I have seen MANY people at my AA meetings who are there for sugar addiction...

*shakes head*

You have obviously never heard of Overeaters Anonymous. Yes it's real and yes I do go. Processed sugar to me is like crack. I can hardly bear to be around it.

People with alcohol addiction don't go around substituting rum balls.
for a sugar addiction, you don't eat cake, then gorge on some sugary fruit? This is getting weird.

Who say's I gorge on fruit, or eat it at all?
Last time I checked, a mars bar and a bowl of fruit were two very different things.

katmombama

I don't know your family dynamic - did you grow up in the south where every event included food and other people tried to guilt you into eating? I've been there, done that. My own mother, who has worried about my weight from the day I was born, will still make me a homemade chocolate cake every year for my birthday. She also makes one for my husband and our three girls. Fortunately, she doesn't mind if I don't eat any as long as everyone else enjoys it. (I LOVE that cake, and if I eat one piece, I'm likely to eat three, so I choose not to start. Gorging on sugar is what made me gain so much weight in the first place.)

Does your SIL typically push food? Is she easily offended? If not, she probably won't care if you don't eat cake if there are others to enjoy it. If so, I agree with others who suggest you speak with her ahead of time so she can choose to forego cake or, if not, so she won't make a big issue of it at the time.

LiftAllThePizzas

Just tell them, "sorry I'm orthorexic now."

Mgregory723

Aviendha_RJ

My parents always just got me a block of iced cream. Now it's usually frozen yogurt.

likitisplit

Whether it's sugar addiction or just *not liking* cake, you shouldn't have to receive cake you don't want.

I'm not a big fan of birthday ice cream myself, so I don't have it. I don't like okra either, so I don't have it. I have been known to accept glasses of water just to satisfy a hostess's etiquette urges to offer food and beverages to guests.

Just don't get on a soap box about "non-processed foods" and don't play ED games with food and you'll be fine.

We're all adults here, this situation can be handled with adult skills and there are a million options that are neither having cake nor not having cake.

Hi_Im_Jess

If you dont want it, don't eat it. If you say no thank you nicely, im sure she will understand. Its taken me a long time to wrap my head around this logic. I was the person that would go out to eat with my bf, then go home and find out my mother cooked so I would eat that too out of guilt. I would eat desserts and excess food to please my little italian Grandma that kept offering me more because I didnt want to offend her. I think we all understand that one piece of cake will not kill you but if you dont want it, then the answer is no. I know for me personally if I have a piece of cake, I will think about that sucker all day and probably the following day too however if I dont have any at all, I'll forget about it pretty quick. If other people want to have cake then great, good for them but you dont have to. Nobody controls what you eat except for you. My suggestion is to talk to her beforehand and if there will be guests, request that there is a small cake so there arent leftovers and maybe a nice fruit salad or something like that.. Even those edible arangement things are a nice alternative for cake if thats what you want. Seeing is its your birthday, your wishes should be respected.

PepperWorm

take the cake and do this

Thread winner!

gwyndol

SO true! I'm surprised at how many people are saying to eat it anyway. If it was easy for me to have a small piece of (add your sweet treat here) and leave it at that, I wouldn't have any issues. For me, it would be like asking an alcoholic to just have one beer. Many of us are in the spot we're in because we haven't been focusing on ourselves. Eating a cake that 1) you don't want and 2) would hurt your progress makes no sense to me.

However, to be thoughtful, contacting the SIL and asking her to bring a more healthy option (instead of or in addition to the cake) is acceptable and heads off any awkwardness later. If the SIL goes to the trouble of the cake every year, she must care and would probably be supportive.

Witchdoctor58

"People with alcohol addiction don't go around substituting rum balls.
for a sugar addiction, you don't eat cake, then gorge on some sugary fruit? This is getting weird."

Bilsica: Fructose is metabolized completely differently, and the glycemic index is lower. Plus the fiber makes you feel full. Sucrose and especially high fructose corn syrup, on the other hand, immediately absorbed, giving a very rapid insulin spike and crash, leading to a binge cycle.

cuterbee

I think it's rude to insist people eat things they don't want to eat. You're an adult, you're not required to eat anything just because someone else thinks you should. You might let her know in advance so she can do something else for you if she chooses. Otherwise, I'm sure there are plenty of other people in your life who'll eat the cake.

It's sweet that she wants to do something for you; none of my siblings or siblings-in-law have EVER made me a cake!


*edited for spelling

jmoliveson

Many people do not like store baked cake because it is way toooooo sweet so since it is Your Birthday, tell her what you want. If she doesn't listen and insists on buying then let your guests eat it.

Achrya

Just tell them, "sorry I'm orthorexic now."

This seems like the most honest thing. "Hey, I'm into food shaming right now so even though I've liked cake up until now I'm gonna decline cause eww, processed junk and refined sugar. Thanks."

Also if I ever show up at a birthday and there is a fruit bowl or fruit tart and no cake it'll be the last birthday I attend with those folks. You people are such buzzkills.

pluckabee

Its your birthday and you don't have to eat cake if you don't want to.

Cakes are usually served in a group setting so i'm assuming this cake isn't just for you. I'd suggest, to not be rude, call her and say you don't really want any cake so get whatever cake she likes best cause you wont be having any.

EDIT It's not automatically orthorexic to not want cake!! Personally I don't think cake is that great or worth the calories. I had scones with clotted cream and strawberries for my birthday 'cake' this year because its a real treat for me.

odusgolp

I vomited immediately after my wedding cake tasting.



I feel this is totally relevant and should be noted.



Cake is evil.

Acg67

"People with alcohol addiction don't go around substituting rum balls.
for a sugar addiction, you don't eat cake, then gorge on some sugary fruit? This is getting weird."

Bilsica: Fructose is metabolized completely differently, and the glycemic index is lower. Plus the fiber makes you feel full. Sucrose and especially high fructose corn syrup, on the other hand, immediately absorbed, giving a very rapid insulin spike and crash, leading to a binge cycle.

So do they binge after an insulin spike from protein? Also what about sucrose and glucose found in fruits?

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Is it rude to refuse a piece of my own birthday cake?

My sister-in-law always purchases a store bought cake
for my birthday. I do not eat dessert/packaged or, in my view,
'unhealthy'(sugar, fat and other 'questionable' food-like products)items.

Will it be rude to refuse a piece? What can I say to her when I'm offered a
piece?
Thanks!!

I don't like cake. I haven't for years. I just tell my family what I want instead of a cake. They usually even get it for me.

billsica

For those who keep saying that a little bit won't hurt...for some people that sugar is as much of a drug as alcohol is for and alcoholic. One tiny taste is all it takes for a major bender.

I'm still working off the 10 lbs I gained after "just one bowl of ice cream". Alcohol? No problems...I can take it or leave it. But sugar and even white carbs will totally derange my metabolism and brain chemistry.

Refined sugar is a true drug for some people, and need to be treated that way. It's addicting and has a withdrawal syndrome. Since your sister-in-law cares enough about you to get a cake, she will care enough to respect your needs.

At family dinners, I generally remove myself from the table so I don't get too close to dessert (yes, I am weak, and this is what I have to do to be drug-free). I eat some fruit instead, or I eat extra veggies so I feel full by the time dessert rolls around.

I understand that this is a big deal for the O.P. Well-meaning relatives, friend and co-workers need to be informed of issues so as to support the O.P.'s goals. You don't offer alcohol to a recovering alcoholic, so why would you force sugar on someone who has a problem with it?

Yep, offering a piece of cake is JUST like offering a drink to an alcoholic.

Come to think of it, I have seen MANY people at my AA meetings who are there for sugar addiction...

*shakes head*

You have obviously never heard of Overeaters Anonymous. Yes it's real and yes I do go. Processed sugar to me is like crack. I can hardly bear to be around it.

People with alcohol addiction don't go around substituting rum balls.
for a sugar addiction, you don't eat cake, then gorge on some sugary fruit? This is getting weird.

Who say's I gorge on fruit, or eat it at all?
Last time I checked, a mars bar and a bowl of fruit were two very different things.

Mars - milkyway bar has 31 grams of sugar
a cup of tangerines lets say has 21 grams of sugar.
According to the mfp database. I think were splitting hairs now. I know I can easily eat more than a cup of grapes or other fruit.

rosemaryhon

Whether it's sugar addiction or just *not liking* cake, you shouldn't have to receive cake you don't want.

I'm not a big fan of birthday ice cream myself, so I don't have it. I don't like okra either, so I don't have it. I have been known to accept glasses of water just to satisfy a hostess's etiquette urges to offer food and beverages to guests.

Just don't get on a soap box about "non-processed foods" and don't play ED games with food and you'll be fine.

We're all adults here, this situation can be handled with adult skills and there are a million options that are neither having cake nor not having cake.

Well said.

skullshank

or dont.

KarenJanine

My sister-in-law always purchases a store bought cake
for my birthday. I do not eat dessert/packaged or, in my view,
'unhealthy'(sugar, fat and other 'questionable' food-like products)items.

It seems as though it's only processed and shop-bought packaged cake that you don't want to eat. How about you tell your sil that you are trying to avoid processed food but that you would be happy with something homemade so you know what the ingredients are or something fresh from a bakery.

As others have said, telling her beforehand would be much less rude than refusing it after she's presented you with it, especially if it's in a group setting.

escloflowneCHANGED

You don't get addicted to sugar...


People who say that just don't have enough will power and are making excuses....

Witchdoctor58

ACG, no, the insulin rise from protein breakdown is relatively slow. The fiber in fruits makes a big difference in absorption of natural sugars, and our bodies are evolved to handle it. However, when you concentrate cane or beet juice and get the pure sucrose out that, the pancreas goes wild. It's not as bad when mixed with fat or protein, which slow the spike, but still, we can't handle this.

Carbs are not created equal.

Some people are more sensitive to this than others, and we become true addicts when it comes to refined sugars.

If you want to look at some cautionary tales, look up the Pima Indians of western North America, and what happened to them when they started on the European's diet. Diabetes is devastating them.

fitnessfoodtravel

I totally sympathize!!!! if it is your birthday, you should choose your treat. It's no different than people not liking tomatoes and not being forced to eat them. Sometimes, our preferences and chocies make others feel guilty for their own.
My spouse and I have communicated to family that I do not enjoy cake and will not it, so I do not get cake anymore. People also passively-aggressively get me birthday cards that joke about cake. Despite the communications, people still try to get me cake and I explain that sugar and flour do not appeal to my taste buds. I tell them I prefer frozen yogurt from Pinkberry, or alcoholic beverages (wine/beer) instead. Our society has this image of how we're supposed to like cake and stuff our faces with it to treat ourselves but we do not all have to do that or live up to that stereotype.

Vivian06703188

Yummm.... I want one of these on my plate

sunlover89

You don't get addicted to sugar...


People who say that just don't have enough will power and are making excuses....

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2235907/

Read the conclusion.

cmcollins001

WAIT...WAIT....WAIT...




You just wanted a birthday thread of your very own!!!!!