I DO NOT WANT my cake and I DO NOT WANT to eat it too...
Replies
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It's easier to fix the ounce of weight gain from a slice of cake than it is to fix making a dozen people think you've got an eating disorder.
Just sayin.0 -
I get the OPs problem. My cousins and I use to drink together. Whether it be billards, darts, hanging at the house or road trip to the beach. Seems the sister is trying to maintain a memory. My family is the same way. I had an episode in 2012 at my daughters school where I got really dizzy and my blood pressure was all over the place. I was hospitalized and they found it wasn't a heart attack. I still get dizzy spells everyday. Usually when I eat something unhealthy. So I don't drink anything but water. To this day I am offered a drink, and I say no and I get a sad puppy dog face, but that's ok. They miss the old times and forget, and I politely decline. Your sister will be sad because she had expectations to re experience a good memory, but it is ok that happens. It happens all the time as people grow. With in a minute from the sad face it will be done with and she should be over it. Just be honest, don't shame the cake, and let everyone else enjoy it. I had plenty of cakes I didn't eat from but my mom knows I don't care for cake. Now that I'm older she takes me out for a steak instead of getting me a cake. Or brings me a cobbler or pie(mmmmm pecan π) You have something you like don't throw a hissy fit with the cake but explain, ahead of time if possible you don't like cake. After a few sad puppy dog faces she will probably start thinking of new things to bring, or taking you for a nice dinner. They always come around but only if your polite and honest about it. Say no, give why, and be done with it. Walking on egg shells never ends well, and neither does being abrasive. Meet the love back with honest love and you will get it back the best outcome possible for the two of you.0
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Don't be silly..it's a slice of cake, it's not going to kill you! :noway:0
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Is it rude to refuse a piece of my own birthday cake?
My sister-in-law always purchases a store bought cake
for my birthday. I do not eat dessert/packaged or, in my view,
'unhealthy'(sugar, fat and other 'questionable' food-like products)items.
Will it be rude to refuse a piece? What can I say to her when I'm offered a
piece?
Thanks!!
Neither sugar or fat are unhealthy without context and dosage taken into consideration, so your logic is flawed
thank you for saying that- I can't believe I made it that far into the page before reading this.0 -
For my birthday this year, I made myself a watermelon cake which wound up being better than most cakes I've ever had!
I took a very ripe, sweet watermelon and cut the top and bottom off, set it up-right, carved off the rind (which didn't take long at all) and then used a tub of fat free cool whip to "frost" the watermelon. I decorated the top with fresh blueberries and kiwi's.
It was DELICIOUS.
So yea, I'll have my cake and eat it too
not. cake.
Agreed.
Now I want cake.
Real cake.0 -
It's easier to fix the ounce of weight gain from a slice of cake than it is to fix making a dozen people think you've got an eating disorder.
Just sayin.
Why would people think it's an "eating disorder" to say no thanks to something? Honestly I don't like coconut, I seriously would not enjoy a slice of coconut cake. Should I choke it down to avoid people thinking I have an eating disorder?0 -
Birthday cakes are traditionally rather large and more than one serving. This is because they are for everyone to celebrate the birth of someone special. If you don't want birthday cake, doesn't mean everyone else doesn't. Would you really deny all the guests in attendance who came a long way in your honor something they might be expecting and even looking forward to?
I'm pretty sure if you deny the cake in public or even ahead of time word will get out that you started a health kick and "got weird". Is that what you want for your birthday? A new title? "MY weird sister in law...."
2 options:
1) offer in advance to make the cake together and take a recipe for angel cake with fruit saying it's your fave combo, not that it's low fat. With some kind of sauce on the side like white chocolate or something.
2) let her make a regular cake and set aside 300 calories that day to enjoy a slice with everyone who was kind enough to take time out of their day and waste gas from their car and stifle family drama for one day to show up for you. Everyone makes nice at family events. It's the considerate thing to do. For the family.
here's a warm up. cupcakes are frosted with cookie icing and taste like fillingless ding dongs. Cake is vanilla with vanilla frosting. Either is about 300 cals but you don't even have to eat the whole thing. Most people eat only the frosting, or leave all the frosting. Nobody cares. It's personal preference. It's a party!0 -
Not true, sugar can stimulate the same pleasure seeking nerves in the brain, anything that does that can become addictive. The same processes in the brain with drugs can happen with fatty sugary foods. It is hard wired in our dna so we want to seek calorie rich food. Not our body's fault we have such an abundance available at all times. It is what gave hunter and gathers ancestors the will to find the best juicest fruit. Any one who is prone to alcoholism is just as much in danger to food addiction. To say otherwise is a lack of knowledge of brain chemistry.One piece of cake is not going to kill you, nor cause you to crash off what every crazy rail you are on into a hopless addiction where you end up behind baskin robins suckin some guys d!ck to get your next ice cream cone. you can have one small piece - take a regular pice cut it in half and eat it, saves you from hurting anyones feelings.
There is no such thing as a sugar addiction, there is lack of willpower towards sugar, there is a fondness toward sugar but no addiction.0 -
For my birthday this year, I made myself a watermelon cake which wound up being better than most cakes I've ever had!
I took a very ripe, sweet watermelon and cut the top and bottom off, set it up-right, carved off the rind (which didn't take long at all) and then used a tub of fat free cool whip to "frost" the watermelon. I decorated the top with fresh blueberries and kiwi's.
It was DELICIOUS.
So yea, I'll have my cake and eat it too
not. cake.
lol
I don't see how the cool whip stayed in place on the watermelon. The 2 just don't cling together too well...0 -
For my birthday this year, I made myself a watermelon cake which wound up being better than most cakes I've ever had!
I took a very ripe, sweet watermelon and cut the top and bottom off, set it up-right, carved off the rind (which didn't take long at all) and then used a tub of fat free cool whip to "frost" the watermelon. I decorated the top with fresh blueberries and kiwi's.
It was DELICIOUS.
So yea, I'll have my cake and eat it too
That's fruit. We're talking about cake.0 -
Not true, sugar can stimulate the same pleasure seeking nerves in the brain, anything that does that can become addictive. The same processes in the brain with drugs can happen with fatty sugary foods. It is hard wired in our dna so we want to seek calorie rich food. Not our body's fault we have such an abundance available at all times. It is what gave hunter and gathers ancestors the will to find the best juicest fruit. Any one who is prone to alcoholism is just as much in danger to food addiction. To say otherwise is a lack of knowledge of brain chemistry.One piece of cake is not going to kill you, nor cause you to crash off what every crazy rail you are on into a hopless addiction where you end up behind baskin robins suckin some guys d!ck to get your next ice cream cone. you can have one small piece - take a regular pice cut it in half and eat it, saves you from hurting anyones feelings.
There is no such thing as a sugar addiction, there is lack of willpower towards sugar, there is a fondness toward sugar but no addiction.
The terrible thing is that you believe this stuff.0 -
Not even chocolate peanut butter cream cake coated in ganache and graham crumbs? :flowerforyou:
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I think it's always okay to refuse food, just like it's always okay to refuse anything else that goes into your own body (like penises, for instance) and it's rude to force something into someone who doesn't want it.
That said, if I were the OP, I would confront my sister and explain that if she wants to get the cake so she and her kids and everyone else can enjoy it, I have no problem blowing out the candles but could I please have something different to eat as my dessert, and then I'd make a couple of suggestions. But then I have no problem with confrontation.
And yeah, I'm gluten-free, so I would not be eating the store-bought cake either unless it was GF. But then, I'd have warned my sister about that beforehand, and encouraged her to go ahead and get a cake for everybody else at the party. *shrug*0 -
It's easier to fix the ounce of weight gain from a slice of cake than it is to fix making a dozen people think you've got an eating disorder.
Just sayin.
why are you so bent about this "people will talk behind your back" nonsense?
seriously? I don't understand what's the big deal. People talk regardless. That's NOT the biggest issue here.0 -
Not true, sugar can stimulate the same pleasure seeking nerves in the brain, anything that does that can become addictive. The same processes in the brain with drugs can happen with fatty sugary foods. It is hard wired in our dna so we want to seek calorie rich food. Not our body's fault we have such an abundance available at all times. It is what gave hunter and gathers ancestors the will to find the best juicest fruit. Any one who is prone to alcoholism is just as much in danger to food addiction. To say otherwise is a lack of knowledge of brain chemistry.One piece of cake is not going to kill you, nor cause you to crash off what every crazy rail you are on into a hopless addiction where you end up behind baskin robins suckin some guys d!ck to get your next ice cream cone. you can have one small piece - take a regular pice cut it in half and eat it, saves you from hurting anyones feelings.
There is no such thing as a sugar addiction, there is lack of willpower towards sugar, there is a fondness toward sugar but no addiction.
Not according to my therapist. I went in and said I had a food addiction and was told straight out that it is not an addiction. I was an alcoholic. I have been sober just over 1 year, I was positive I was addicted to food as well - I love food. My love of food is not an addiction. It has never been an addiction, it was a complete excuse. I did not go into the DT's when I cut my food back, I still enjoy my sugar and all the food I always did - I cannot however and probably will not ever enjoy my favorite drinks ever again or I will continue the downward spiral that was my life with alcohol.
I can have 1 piece of cake and not end up spiraling out of control, and trust me I love cake and pie.
I have never and I doubt I will ever meet someone who has sucked a d!ck in a dirty alley so they can get their next piece of cake/pie/ blah blah blah.
To say food is an addiction is an excuse, does it give you a good feeling perhaps but that is not due to the hard wiring of your brain that is due to you allowing yourself to suppress your actual feelings with food. Food is not meant to replace emotional connections. My therapist has seen many people who say "I am a food addict" when in reality they like to use that as an excuse.
Can you abstain from eating sugars? if you want i don't care but to say you are addicted to it is completely 100% absurd and I will stand by my food additction is a lack of willpower.0 -
You'll eat Cool Whip but not cake?For my birthday this year, I made myself a watermelon cake which wound up being better than most cakes I've ever had!
I took a very ripe, sweet watermelon and cut the top and bottom off, set it up-right, carved off the rind (which didn't take long at all) and then used a tub of fat free cool whip to "frost" the watermelon. I decorated the top with fresh blueberries and kiwi's.
It was DELICIOUS.
So yea, I'll have my cake and eat it too
not. cake.0 -
It's easier to fix the ounce of weight gain from a slice of cake than it is to fix making a dozen people think you've got an eating disorder.
Just sayin.
why are you so bent about this "people will talk behind your back" nonsense?
seriously? I don't understand what's the big deal. People talk regardless. That's NOT the biggest issue here.
Because it's true. You can't refuse your own birthday cake without people talking about it. Just won't happen.0 -
I think it's always okay to refuse food, just like it's always okay to refuse anything else that goes into your own body (like penises, for instance) and it's rude to force something into someone who doesn't want it.
That said, if I were the OP, I would confront my sister and explain that if she wants to get the cake so she and her kids and everyone else can enjoy it, I have no problem blowing out the candles but could I please have something different to eat as my dessert, and then I'd make a couple of suggestions. But then I have no problem with confrontation.
And yeah, I'm gluten-free, so I would not be eating the store-bought cake either unless it was GF. But then, I'd have warned my sister about that beforehand, and encouraged her to go ahead and get a cake for everybody else at the party. *shrug*
Yeah but no peen at the party right? Amirite?0 -
It's easier to fix the ounce of weight gain from a slice of cake than it is to fix making a dozen people think you've got an eating disorder.
Just sayin.
why are you so bent about this "people will talk behind your back" nonsense?
seriously? I don't understand what's the big deal. People talk regardless. That's NOT the biggest issue here.
Because it's true. You can't refuse your own birthday cake without people talking about it. Just won't happen.
soooo what.
my point is SO FRACKING WHAT.
Seriously- if they are going to gossip about her not eating- guess what- that's just the flavor of the day- if it isn't that- they'll gossip about what she chose to wear to her party- or the color of her hair. You are WAY to concerned with what other people thing.
They all talk about me anyway- I'm highly visible- I wear bright pants- and I talk to lots of people. They think I"m a freak and I"m on the "shag if possible" list. It is what it is. I can't stop people from thinking things- or talking about me. That's all there is to it.
You are WAY to concerned and self conscious about what other people think. That's not validation or justification to NOT do something.
Do what you want for you. Always.0 -
I think I'm gonna bake a cake today. Then have a huge slice with red velvet cake ice cream on the side. And it shall be glorious.
Not joking either. I'm inspired.
That sounds amazing, enjoy it!0 -
Yeah but no peen at the party right? Amirite?
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Work it in to your macros for the day. It -is- rude to refuse, since it is -your- birthday and she bought if for -you-.
When my birthday rolls around I plan on asking for cupcakes, that way i can limit myself to one, and already have it worked in to my calories/fats for the day. It just takes a little planning.0 -
Well, you can either take the cake and while no one's looking, dump it in a plant pot (or the trash, whatever). Or, just tell your sister you'd rather not have a store-bought cake.0
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i'm not real big on regular cake. i'd much rather have ice cream cake. or a pie--preferably lemon or blueberry. ooh, or a brownie, chocolate not blonde, marbled is acceptable...i also really like pudding (but not a huge mousse fan.)....oh, i almost forgot fruit tarts. they are delic. i could eat the whole thing in one sitting...man this is making me hungry.......anyway, i made my family aware of my preferences & they either get an ice cream cake or a fruit tart, and everyone is happy with it.
Clearly i am not opposed to eating processed foods or sugar, so it was an easy fix for me. If, for whatever reason, I chose to avoid all sweets & processed foods then i would definitely let them know ahead of time. My family would probably make a fruit bowl or whatever i request. They are cool like that. If the overall consensus was that a lack of cake/ice cream/pie would be lame-o, I wouldn't be opposed to someone bring sweets so the other guests can enjoy it.
I feel lucky that my family would not try to make me eat eat something that i do not want to eat. That would really annoy me because i don't think it is anyone's biz what i eat but mine. So a large part of me feels like if someone doesn't like my choices, well they can suck it. I'm not going to eat something i don't want to....that being said, another part of me really doesn't want a conflict or to cause hurt feelings. So if she seems very upset that you will not eat a slice or if people there are really pressuring you to eat it, then i would probably accept a small sliver and take a bite or two. or accept it and say thank you, it looks delicious-i am too full right now but will save the slice for later. 0 -
Not even chocolate peanut butter cream cake coated in ganache and graham crumbs? :flowerforyou:
I would NOT refuse this ^^
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Personally, I think it's rude to post this picture when most of us will not get to have a slice today.Not even chocolate peanut butter cream cake coated in ganache and graham crumbs? :flowerforyou:
I would NOT refuse this ^^0 -
It's easier to fix the ounce of weight gain from a slice of cake than it is to fix making a dozen people think you've got an eating disorder.
Just sayin.
why are you so bent about this "people will talk behind your back" nonsense?
seriously? I don't understand what's the big deal. People talk regardless. That's NOT the biggest issue here.
There's an issue here? The OP doesn't have to eat anything she doesn't want to eat.0 -
Not even chocolate peanut butter cream cake coated in ganache and graham crumbs? :flowerforyou:
Omg!0 -
Not even chocolate peanut butter cream cake coated in ganache and graham crumbs? :flowerforyou:
I would NOT refuse this ^^
I would. It's nothing personal, I just don't like peanut butter cakes.0 -
If them talking about her not taking the piece of cake, it was a pretty poor party.
Someone always drinks to much and makes an eijit of themselves, so she is pretty safe.
Tell your SIL that you dont want cake or tell her an alternative, or tell her not to bring one at all, as you have sorted the food.0
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