I DO NOT WANT my cake and I DO NOT WANT to eat it too...

grrrlface

Cake won't kill you.

I eat out in restaurants (shock horror) and sometimes have dessert (*gasp*) 43lbs down and not dead!

I try to eat clean but sometimes you have to remember most of the people around you don't. You have to give a little sometimes, they don't realise and to them you're just being awkward.

shartran

I did attempt to explain in more detail why I didn't want the cake - simply: I hate grocery store cakes...the taste is nothing more than 'yuck'.

I realize that this thread is incredibly long and not everyone has read the entire thing (myself included) so this is what I posted a few days ago...

"Well…I had no idea this would be such a ‘topic’ of discussion. I think I began to feel sorry for the poor birthday cake LOL
Thanks to those that simply answered my question, however I found (as I guess many of you did) the discussion engaging…so many opinions! I thought sarcastic comments like ‘You sound like such a fun person’ were hurtful and unnecessary and some of the other comments I totally agree with too!. For example:: “It's mind-boggling to me that not wanting to eat a specific food is considered to be an ED.” Good idea of just telling my sis-in-law what I would want. Sure seems logical, but I would feel a little ‘weird’ doing just that – love her, but I’m not that close with her. Thanks for all the advice though (and the b-day wishes)

There was sure some ‘debate’ over if my wanting to not have the cake was ED related. Well, I believe it is not. I have NEVER enjoyed typical ‘Safeway-type’ cakes…the icing is way too sweet and leaves an ‘oily’ taste in ones mouth and the cake part is too sweet as well – Not enjoyable for my culinary tastes! If however, I was presented with a homemade cake/dessert or a cake from a ‘real’ bakery (yes…even if it was made with sugar and butter, etc.) I would have a piece It would most likely be small and I probably would not finish it.. (dessert really isn’t ‘my thing’ and yes, I’m still working through my ED too). However, the fact that I would consider having it at all would be considered light years from where my head was at last year.
So, as the drama unfolds…I’m sure you would love to hear that there was a huge fight and that icing, cake and ice cream was flung from one room to the other…sorry, it just didn’t happen!

So, the cake came – and yes, it came from a grocery store –.I just said to myself, ‘just be gracious and appreciative – to which I felt I was. I told her how beautiful the cake looked and how generous she was, etc., I volunteered to serve and cut myself some, ate some of the fruit, talked a lot, pushed it around on my plate, took pictures, etc.., and then when people were up and around I cleaned up the plates and discretely discarded mine in the kitchen.
Done."

likitisplit

I'm glad that you were able to find a resolution.

The thing that confuses me, though, is what you did every other year. From the OP, I got the impression that this was a regular event that had been happening for some time.

"My sister-in-law always purchases a store bought cake for my birthday"

Why was it a question for the first time this year?

jonnythan

I volunteered to serve and cut myself some, ate some of the fruit, talked a lot, pushed it around on my plate, took pictures, etc.., and then when people were up and around I cleaned up the plates and discretely discarded mine in the kitchen.

Classic ED behavior. I'm glad you're seeing someone about it though.

shartran

I volunteered to serve and cut myself some, ate some of the fruit, talked a lot, pushed it around on my plate, took pictures, etc.., and then when people were up and around I cleaned up the plates and discretely discarded mine in the kitchen.

Classic ED behavior. I'm glad you're seeing someone about it though.

Yes, you are correct - it is 'classical ED behavior' however, I bet if you were served something that you simply did not like, your behavior might resemble the same?

shartran

I'm glad that you were able to find a resolution.

The thing that confuses me, though, is what you did every other year. From the OP, I got the impression that this was a regular event that had been happening for some time.

"My sister-in-law always purchases a store bought cake for my birthday"

Why was it a question for the first time this year?

Well, it's not an 'annual thing' however, she has volunteered 'cake duty' for my birthday (and other family members) throughout the years - so I am quite aware of the type of cake she usually brings. My response to this year is actually no different than any other year. I usually just accept the piece, 'toy around with it' and end up discarding it discretely.

shartran

Every time I peak into this thread, all I can think of is how much I hate most store bought cakes. Even if someone like a relative kept insisting they buy one for me, I still wouldn't eat it. :noway: I'd *maybe* take 1 "polite" tiny bite if someone was looking at me and the cake was a flavor I generally like, but otherwise, I'd push it around on my plate and toss it when no one was looking. I've done this for years.

I'm a big proponent of "If you don't like it, don't eat it." (One of the things I learned from WW years ago.) You don't have to be rude about not eating something, but there are tons of polite ways to say "no." Can't tell you how many times I've faked being sick or "stuffed from lunch" to avoid eating something someone is insisting that I eat and won't take a simple, "No, thanks" for an answer.

Absolutely! Thank you:)

Just my opinion.:flowerforyou:

likitisplit

I volunteered to serve and cut myself some, ate some of the fruit, talked a lot, pushed it around on my plate, took pictures, etc.., and then when people were up and around I cleaned up the plates and discretely discarded mine in the kitchen.

Classic ED behavior. I'm glad you're seeing someone about it though.

Yes, you are correct - it is 'classical ED behavior' however, I bet if you were served something that you simply did not like, your behavior might resemble the same?

I don't get served things that I don't like. Especially not for my birthday. And I'm not rude about it either.

sharonfoustmills

say oh thank you, that's so sweet..... and as soon as she isn't looking, head to the trash can with it

jonnythan

I'm glad that you were able to find a resolution.

The thing that confuses me, though, is what you did every other year. From the OP, I got the impression that this was a regular event that had been happening for some time.

"My sister-in-law always purchases a store bought cake for my birthday"

Why was it a question for the first time this year?

Well, it's not an 'annual thing' however, she has volunteered 'cake duty' for my birthday (and other family members) throughout the years - so I am quite aware of the type of cake she usually brings. My response to this year is actually no different than any other year. I usually just accept the piece, 'toy around with it' and end up discarding it discretely.

When is the last time you ate a slice of cake?

likitisplit

I'm glad that you were able to find a resolution.

The thing that confuses me, though, is what you did every other year. From the OP, I got the impression that this was a regular event that had been happening for some time.

"My sister-in-law always purchases a store bought cake for my birthday"

Why was it a question for the first time this year?

Well, it's not an 'annual thing' however, she has volunteered 'cake duty' for my birthday (and other family members) throughout the years - so I am quite aware of the type of cake she usually brings. My response to this year is actually no different than any other year. I usually just accept the piece, 'toy around with it' and end up discarding it discretely.

My suggestion would be to volunteer for cake duty for your birthday next year. This general idea: "You know what? I really love the cakes at XXX bakery, so let me take care of it this year."

That way, you could actually eat and enjoy your own birthday cake!

Carnivor0us

I volunteered to serve and cut myself some, ate some of the fruit, talked a lot, pushed it around on my plate, took pictures, etc.., and then when people were up and around I cleaned up the plates and discretely discarded mine in the kitchen.

Classic ED behavior. I'm glad you're seeing someone about it though.

Yes, you are correct - it is 'classical ED behavior' however, I bet if you were served something that you simply did not like, your behavior might resemble the same?

I don't get served things that I don't like. Especially not for my birthday. And I'm not rude about it either.

The OP didn't either, as it turns out. How is your answer any different from her outcome?

likitisplit

I volunteered to serve and cut myself some, ate some of the fruit, talked a lot, pushed it around on my plate, took pictures, etc.., and then when people were up and around I cleaned up the plates and discretely discarded mine in the kitchen.

Classic ED behavior. I'm glad you're seeing someone about it though.

Yes, you are correct - it is 'classical ED behavior' however, I bet if you were served something that you simply did not like, your behavior might resemble the same?

I don't get served things that I don't like. Especially not for my birthday. And I'm not rude about it either.

The OP didn't either, as it turns out. How is your answer any different from her outcome?

I'm not sure you read the same post it did. She served herself some cake that she didn't like. Ate the fruit. Pretended to eat the cake and threw it away.

In the same situation, I would have made sure that I got served cake that I like, by taking personal responsibility for the situation and using adult social skills. And then I would have enjoyed my portion of it.