I hate when people scrutize my food
Replies
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gabriellejayde wrote: »OP, my observation after reading this, thumbing through your profile and diary and I come up with this,
You have been eating VLCD for around 6 weeks, it clearly states that you are all or nothing type and when it comes to weight loss its about fast results. I can only assume that peers in the work place have been witnessing a person that has been severely under eating, perhaps they are just concerned about their co worker and maybe this one lady is one of those types that is just blunt and for a lack of a better word not very tactful in how she handles her self when making such comments out loud. I could easily see that you may been displaying signs of person losing weight in an unhealthy manner for a while while in fact you are.
You were concerned enough about 'something' to create such a thread. Cannot say exactly, but people are always gonna be people, and people feel its their prerogative to say anything they feel free to do so, even if its at yours or my expense, but it did affect you, if it did not you would not created this thread.
How about... don't assume anything.
The woman who wouldn't let up has never seen me eat before. I work at a HUGE company and we've never crossed paths. The coworker who told her to drop it knows why I was eating so little. it's probably best not to assess my weightloss habits without knowing anything else, no?
I found it annoying. Is that letting it effect me? If so, then ok. I made a thread here because that's what people do, but if you knew me, you'd know I don't take much seriously and find most people pretty amusing.
Yes, 2oz of tuna is very little. So is lettuce. So is nothing at all. I think we're done here. Thanks for coming to the party!gabriellejayde wrote: »OP, my observation after reading this, thumbing through your profile and diary and I come up with this,
You have been eating VLCD for around 6 weeks, it clearly states that you are all or nothing type and when it comes to weight loss its about fast results. I can only assume that peers in the work place have been witnessing a person that has been severely under eating, perhaps they are just concerned about their co worker and maybe this one lady is one of those types that is just blunt and for a lack of a better word not very tactful in how she handles her self when making such comments out loud. I could easily see that you may been displaying signs of person losing weight in an unhealthy manner for a while while in fact you are.
You were concerned enough about 'something' to create such a thread. Cannot say exactly, but people are always gonna be people, and people feel its their prerogative to say anything they feel free to do so, even if its at yours or my expense, but it did affect you, if it did not you would not created this thread.
How about... don't assume anything.
The woman who wouldn't let up has never seen me eat before. I work at a HUGE company and we've never crossed paths. The coworker who told her to drop it knows why I was eating so little. it's probably best not to assess my weightloss habits without knowing anything else, no?
I found it annoying. Is that letting it effect me? If so, then ok. I made a thread here because that's what people do, but if you knew me, you'd know I don't take much seriously and find most people pretty amusing.
Yes, 2oz of tuna is very little. So is lettuce. So is nothing at all. I think we're done here. Thanks for coming to the party!
I don't assume to know anything.. It was my observation, nothing is factual except between the parties involved. Being in a public forum we can only state our opinions...
With this said, I can see why this prompted you to dislike what this person did and said. I would have immediately shrugged off this person and her comments.. Nothing we do in life is 'any' persons business and someone stepping in made it all worse I am sure.
People are gonna judge, people are gonna scrutinize, people are gonna feel its their prerogative and make something their business cause there are just busy bodies out there. We can't control what anyone will say or do, its our reaction to it that important.9 -
heiliskrimsli wrote: »Invading someone's privacy by questioning their food choices in public is not okay. But if I had a coworker who weighed 200 pounds and opted for 2 oz of tuna for lunch, I would have assumed that they are dangerously starving themselves in order to lose weight. I would have just asked in private.
It would worry you if someone ate a single serving pouch of tuna?
Why?
You don't know what else they're eating the rest of the day, only that you see them eating a serving of tuna, and you've taken a giant leap to the conclusion that they're starving themselves dangerously. That seems kind of extreme.
I manage people at work. Their well being is something I care about. It's better to ask *in private* and be wrong than to miss something potentially dangerous that you could have helped with. The private conversation is where "I am doing it for medical reasons" would have come out. That's where I would have dropped it. As just a coworker and not her manager, I may have still asked privately. I would be concerned about anyone who is an adult and consumes 500 calories a day. It's natural to be concerned. But blabbering about it in a meeting room full of people is just not very tactful.8 -
I can't assume whether someone is eating 500-3000 calories a day just by 2 oz of tuna or a leaf of lettuce. Who knows what they had for breakfast or will have at home. We are so busy at work, so many of us hardly have time to eat during the day apart from snacking here and there.6
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heiliskrimsli wrote: »Invading someone's privacy by questioning their food choices in public is not okay. But if I had a coworker who weighed 200 pounds and opted for 2 oz of tuna for lunch, I would have assumed that they are dangerously starving themselves in order to lose weight. I would have just asked in private.
It would worry you if someone ate a single serving pouch of tuna?
Why?
You don't know what else they're eating the rest of the day, only that you see them eating a serving of tuna, and you've taken a giant leap to the conclusion that they're starving themselves dangerously. That seems kind of extreme.
I manage people at work. Their well being is something I care about. It's better to ask *in private* and be wrong than to miss something potentially dangerous that you could have helped with. The private conversation is where "I am doing it for medical reasons" would have come out. That's where I would have dropped it. As just a coworker and not her manager, I may have still asked privately. I would be concerned about anyone who is an adult and consumes 500 calories a day. It's natural to be concerned. But blabbering about it in a meeting room full of people is just not very tactful.
What would you do if the employee said "Respectfully, unless it is affecting my job performance, how much I am eating is not something I want to discuss with you."?
A manager or coworker is seeing a piece of someone's day at work, not the totality of it, so they actually have less information about how much OP eats than those who are looking at the food diary. Many people would not be appreciative of their manager or their coworker involving themselves in such matters.8 -
DJ_Skywalker wrote: »I can't assume whether someone is eating 500-3000 calories a day just by 2 oz of tuna or a leaf of lettuce. Who knows what they had for breakfast or will have at home. We are so busy at work, so many of us hardly have time to eat during the day apart from snacking here and there.
Exactly what I thought.
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DJ_Skywalker wrote: »moonstroller wrote: »I never comment on what, or how much, people eat, that's their choices and has no impact on my life. What I would find offensive is the smell of the tuna. Something about seafood makes my nauseated to the point I have to leave the room. Which sucks because where I work there are almost daily late afternoon spreads and they always have shrimp...
gabriellejayde, I agree with you, it was rude of that person to constantly bring to everybody's attention what you were having for lunch.
We wouldn't work well together ... I eat tuna out of the can often ... with sriracha, of course
I worked at an investment bank in NYC years ago and there was one guy who would bring in the stinkiest Asian food. I explained to him my sensitivity to odors, so the next night he made the concerted effort to sit right next to me while he ate, all the while commenting on how great his dinner tasted. Since I was working on an important document with a tight deadline I was unable to relocate. After asking him repeatedly to please move, and him replying that he was trying to help my better understand and appreciate the finer attributes of oriental cuisine, I threw up on him, thus ending the conversation, as well as his dinner, instantly.
Yeah, we probably wouldn't be able to work together while you ate.20 -
gabriellejayde wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »You said you were hungry and then you were eating very little. I would have also offered to share my food with you for the same reasons. I'm sure she went on longer than she should have, but it's not hard to figure out why she said something.
Nobody said anything to the young, thin assistant in the room eating a big bowl of lettuce. Just lettuce.
How big was the bowl? lol. Unless it was HUGE I'd probably had said something to her too...like why just lettuce? and how? I'd be so bored. Bland. bleh. lol
Why would you comment about someone's "salad"?
You'd say, "bleh" ? You sound great. Lol
I thought about that too...why would anyone think it was appropriate to make a negative comment on someone else's food? I'd probably tell you to STHU. LOL
I also think tuna is a odd choice to have at a business meeting lunch....but if nobody was complaining about the smell, why not?
Totally agree that the coworker calling you out on your food choice was a *kitten*. I'd be annoyed too, and just making a thread about it doesn't mean anyone's triggered...jeez
So much weird in this thread.5 -
Invading someone's privacy by questioning their food choices in public is not okay. But if I had a coworker who weighed 200 pounds and opted for 2 oz of tuna for lunch, I would have assumed that they are dangerously starving themselves in order to lose weight. I would have just asked in private.
Really? And how do you know that that same person also didn't eat 3 eggs and 3 slices of bacon for breakfast, or how would you know that that person is not planning on a big dinner later in the day?
We spend so much of our time worrying and judging others when we really should just focus on ourselves...6 -
briohne128 wrote: »Its all kicking off on this thread haha. I have the opposite problem. If I eat anything even slightly unhealthy my co workers will say 'I THOUGHT YOU WAS ON A DIET'. So I know how annoying it is when people your not even close to comment on your food!
OMG I hate that3 -
moonstroller wrote: »DJ_Skywalker wrote: »moonstroller wrote: »I never comment on what, or how much, people eat, that's their choices and has no impact on my life. What I would find offensive is the smell of the tuna. Something about seafood makes my nauseated to the point I have to leave the room. Which sucks because where I work there are almost daily late afternoon spreads and they always have shrimp...
gabriellejayde, I agree with you, it was rude of that person to constantly bring to everybody's attention what you were having for lunch.
We wouldn't work well together ... I eat tuna out of the can often ... with sriracha, of course
I worked at an investment bank in NYC years ago and there was one guy who would bring in the stinkiest Asian food. I explained to him my sensitivity to odors, so the next night he made the concerted effort to sit right next to me while he ate, all the while commenting on how great his dinner tasted. Since I was working on an important document with a tight deadline I was unable to relocate. After asking him repeatedly to please move, and him replying that he was trying to help my better understand and appreciate the finer attributes of oriental cuisine, I threw up on him, thus ending the conversation, as well as his dinner, instantly.
Yeah, we probably wouldn't be able to work together while you ate.
I probably shouldn't have... but I seriously laughed at the picture you painted. I take it he never assaulted your sense of smell with his food again?
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I've read through the comments. Respectfully, OP it seems like you are very defensive, even after mentioning you don't care what people think. Even when people mention an eating disorder by looking through you diary, you get very defensive.
I agree it was very rude of the lady in the meeting. Totally agree. I'm the type of person that would have politely told her to mind her business right there in the meeting. But if you do have an eating disorder, it's better to seek help than denying it.
Good luck.5 -
OP, have you had WLS?2
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ladyreva78, I can laugh about it now, I doubt any of the custodial staff will ever be able to laugh about that mess. You're correct, he ate his food well away from me after that, and our manager started a new policy about eating food at work stations. Apparently I was not the only person who had lodged some complaints regarding his culinary choices.
I will never forget the look on his face when I threw up on him, priceless.
And I'm glad I was able to make you laugh.11 -
Do you know what. To be quite frank I would have said something too. That is nowhere near enough period.
I have a colleague at work who everybody loves.... she is sweet and caring but she struggles mentally and she has some kind of eating disorder... this is a girl who I thought she was early 20's it turns out she is mid-thirties. Do you know what she brings to work each day to eat.... and our job is very physical.... a small bit of tuna or 2-3 prawns.
We have not mentioned this to her as it is clear to see she has an issue. Only she can face this if ever, when she is ready. One colleague brought it up a year ago.... similar type of comment you had made to you.... she was pretty defensive too and now hasn't spoken to this person since.
I would be more inclined to say something if I didn't know the person very well as there is nothing to lose but hey, it might just be the comment a person needs to change the course of their life.
Would love to know your stats.....5 -
Steph38878 wrote: »I've read through the comments. Respectfully, OP it seems like you are very defensive, even after mentioning you don't care what people think. Even when people mention an eating disorder by looking through you diary, you get very defensive.
I agree it was very rude of the lady in the meeting. Totally agree. I'm the type of person that would have politely told her to mind her business right there in the meeting. But if you do have an eating disorder, it's better to seek help than denying it.
Good luck.
Defensive seems a natural reaction given the thread title and subject.
Assuming an eating disorder with no information other than that offered in this thread seems a very unnatural reaction. At least it would outside MFP.3 -
And people wonder why other people have anxiety issues with food. This thread is a perfect example of why....5
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Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Steph38878 wrote: »I've read through the comments. Respectfully, OP it seems like you are very defensive, even after mentioning you don't care what people think. Even when people mention an eating disorder by looking through you diary, you get very defensive.
I agree it was very rude of the lady in the meeting. Totally agree. I'm the type of person that would have politely told her to mind her business right there in the meeting. But if you do have an eating disorder, it's better to seek help than denying it.
Good luck.
Defensive seems a natural reaction given the thread title and subject.
Assuming an eating disorder with no information other than that offered in this thread seems a very unnatural reaction. At least it would outside MFP.
I agree in a way. But it wasn't just the information in the thread. If she's logging correctly, she isn't even eating 700 calories a day. That's where the eating disorder question came from. It seems logical. Not judging by any means. It's a valid concern. Her intake is very low, given 200 pounds isn't morbidly obese.
Edit: I do agree that outside of mfp and not knowing her eating habits, it was very rude and disrespectful to point it out in a meeting.2 -
If I heard someone say they were hungry yet pulled out only 2 oz of tuna, I'd probably have said/offered something too. Not to be cheeky but because that's just my nature, to want to share, especially if they've just said they're hungry. If it bothered you this much you should have just told her in private that what she did was bothersome, and you didnt like it etc.5
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Steph38878 wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Steph38878 wrote: »I've read through the comments. Respectfully, OP it seems like you are very defensive, even after mentioning you don't care what people think. Even when people mention an eating disorder by looking through you diary, you get very defensive.
I agree it was very rude of the lady in the meeting. Totally agree. I'm the type of person that would have politely told her to mind her business right there in the meeting. But if you do have an eating disorder, it's better to seek help than denying it.
Good luck.
Defensive seems a natural reaction given the thread title and subject.
Assuming an eating disorder with no information other than that offered in this thread seems a very unnatural reaction. At least it would outside MFP.
I agree in a way. But it wasn't just the information in the thread. If she's logging correctly, she isn't even eating 700 calories a day. That's where the eating disorder question came from. It seems logical. Not judging by any means. It's a valid concern. Her intake is very low, given 200 pounds isn't morbidly obese.
Edit: I do agree that outside of mfp and not knowing her eating habits, it was very rude and disrespectful to point it out in a meeting.
I appreciate the concern from people here, since you can see my diary (unlike my coworker), and this is the appropriate place to comment.
I don't have an eating disorder. I had surgery a month ago on my esophagus.
Just saw my doc yesterday and I'm doing great.9 -
gabriellejayde wrote: »Steph38878 wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Steph38878 wrote: »I've read through the comments. Respectfully, OP it seems like you are very defensive, even after mentioning you don't care what people think. Even when people mention an eating disorder by looking through you diary, you get very defensive.
I agree it was very rude of the lady in the meeting. Totally agree. I'm the type of person that would have politely told her to mind her business right there in the meeting. But if you do have an eating disorder, it's better to seek help than denying it.
Good luck.
Defensive seems a natural reaction given the thread title and subject.
Assuming an eating disorder with no information other than that offered in this thread seems a very unnatural reaction. At least it would outside MFP.
I agree in a way. But it wasn't just the information in the thread. If she's logging correctly, she isn't even eating 700 calories a day. That's where the eating disorder question came from. It seems logical. Not judging by any means. It's a valid concern. Her intake is very low, given 200 pounds isn't morbidly obese.
Edit: I do agree that outside of mfp and not knowing her eating habits, it was very rude and disrespectful to point it out in a meeting.
I appreciate the concern from people here, since you can see my diary (unlike my coworker), and this is the appropriate place to comment.
I don't have an eating disorder. I had surgery a month ago on my esophagus.
Just saw my doc yesterday and I'm doing great.
That's awesome! Glad you received good news... I truly hope that this lady learns manners... (doubtfully but one can hope). We have one in our office that is very tiny who feels the need to comment on people's food and everything. I know some who quit eating in the breakroom because of her. It's very aggravating and rude. You seem to have a great attitude and know you well enough to know you're doing what you need to. 0 -
I'm about to open a can of tuna for second breakfast ... wanna share?
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What makes me nuts more than people commenting on the AMOUNT of food I'm eating are those that comment on WHAT I'm eating...like, "what IS that?" or, "Ew! That looks gross..."
How about "STFU" and "GFY"??? Your "Starnuts extra-special unicorn mocha choke-a frappa crappa chino soy lo fat double shot gr-aaahh-day ever what the fark" looks like a real hipster delicacy, no doubt. (Ever notice that, apparently, the more words you need to describe your drink order, the cooler and hipper you are??)
The other thing is people who say they "don't believe" in things that are clinically or scientifically backed up by studies, even if all the data isn't in yet. When someone says, for example, "Oh, I don't believe in probiotics..." I always respond with, "We're not talking about Santa Claus or the friggin' Easter Bunny!"13 -
vikinglander wrote: »What makes me nuts more than people commenting on the AMOUNT of food I'm eating are those that comment on WHAT I'm eating...like, "what IS that?" or, "Ew! That looks gross..."
How about "STFU" and "GFY"??? Your "Starnuts extra-special unicorn mocha choke-a frappa crappa chino soy lo fat double shot gr-aaahh-day ever what the fark" looks like a real hipster delicacy, no doubt. (Ever notice that, apparently, the more words you need to describe your drink order, the cooler and hipper you are??)
The other thing is people who say they "don't believe" in things that are clinically or scientifically backed up by studies, even if all the data isn't in yet. When someone says, for example, "Oh, I don't believe in probiotics..." I always respond with, "We're not talking about Santa Claus or the friggin' Easter Bunny!"
Wait what? There's no Easter Bunny?4 -
I NEVER comment on people's food. I don't ask what they have, I don't say it looks good or doesn't look good, I never say "Wow, that's a lot!" or "Wow, that's not a lot!"
You know why? It's none of my effing business. Just like what's on my plate is none of theirs. I absolutely despise when people comment on what I am eating. It happens to me all the time and it annoys the living crap out of me.
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meredithkav wrote: »I NEVER comment on people's food. I don't ask what they have, I don't say it looks good or doesn't look good, I never say "Wow, that's a lot!" or "Wow, that's not a lot!"
You know why? It's none of my effing business. Just like what's on my plate is none of theirs. I absolutely despise when people comment on what I am eating. It happens to me all the time and it annoys the living crap out of me.
Whatcha having for lunch?6 -
My husband used to have a coworker who would come over to his desk, open his drawer, and inspect the contents of his lunch and comment on how healthy it was.1
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fitoverfortymom wrote: »My husband used to have a coworker who would come over to his desk, open his drawer, and inspect the contents of his lunch and comment on how healthy it was.
:huh: People need a good dose of MYOB! I blame social media. Unless I'm posting my lunch on Instattentionseeker, I'm not inviting comments. Grr. And get off my lawn while you're at it!5 -
fitoverfortymom wrote: »My husband used to have a coworker who would come over to his desk, open his drawer, and inspect the contents of his lunch and comment on how healthy it was.
:huh: People need a good dose of MYOB! I blame social media. Unless I'm posting my lunch on Instattentionseeker, I'm not inviting comments. Grr. And get off my lawn while you're at it!
Oh, but your grass is so pretty2 -
thielke2015 wrote: »Do you know what. To be quite frank I would have said something too. That is nowhere near enough period.
Nonsense. It's perfectly enough if it suits that person. Perhaps she eats 10 lots of 100-200 cals throughout the day. You don't know so can't comment whether or not it is enough.
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meredithkav wrote: »I NEVER comment on people's food. I don't ask what they have, I don't say it looks good or doesn't look good, I never say "Wow, that's a lot!" or "Wow, that's not a lot!"
You know why? It's none of my effing business. Just like what's on my plate is none of theirs. I absolutely despise when people comment on what I am eating. It happens to me all the time and it annoys the living crap out of me.
I might say something looks or smells good but then the other person things I'm fishing for an invitation to share. LOL. It probably is best to just shut up about what other people are eating0
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