I hate when people scrutize my food
Replies
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People comment on my food all the time. Ive had waitresses rush over and ask whats wrong with the food, why havnt i eaten it
I tell them im full, explain my medical history if they push and ask for a to go box. If i remember i ask for one at the beginning of the meal so they are aware or ask if i can have a child sized portion (many refuse that request)
Some people make comments on my food, i dont care, doesnt affect my day8 -
Invading someone's privacy by questioning their food choices in public is not okay. But if I had a coworker who weighed 200 pounds and opted for 2 oz of tuna for lunch, I would have assumed that they are dangerously starving themselves in order to lose weight. I would have just asked in private.16
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I totally get It. At my job we eat together everyday and I have to put up with comments on the regular just because I won't eat what they eat. One gal (obese) in particular will downright make a scene over it occasionally. So annoying but I stay focused on me
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elisa123gal wrote: »i don't understand why a co worker i.e; stranger would think they could make headway with someone who they think is under eating ..starving.. broke.. or suspect has an eating disorder. Especially in a group setting.
I get why you were annoyed.
Now, if someone in your family or a close friend brings it up.. they have the right to ask questions and be concerned.
This. Exactly. Thank you.
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Its all kicking off on this thread haha. I have the opposite problem. If I eat anything even slightly unhealthy my co workers will say 'I THOUGHT YOU WAS ON A DIET OMG'. So I know how annoying it is when people your not even close to comment on your food!13
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gebeziseva wrote: »It would be quite impolite to comment anyone's lunch. I might be silently judging you though.
Well yeah. I would too. 4 -
Yah I hate it when people do that. Adults get to eat whatever they want to, thats whats so nice about growing up IMO.4
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I would give more than half a sideways glance at a coworker who proclaimed to be so hungry, yet was eating just a can of tuna for lunch and it would be concern.
(The other half of the glance would be annoyance at the revolting smell of the canned tuna permeating our shared space.)
Should she have gone on about it? No, but you did open yourself up to it by claiming to be so hungry. Also, for someone who is trying to claim they didn't care about it, your indignant and ranty thread is amusing.30 -
Invading someone's privacy by questioning their food choices in public is not okay. But if I had a coworker who weighed 200 pounds and opted for 2 oz of tuna for lunch, I would have assumed that they are dangerously starving themselves in order to lose weight. I would have just asked in private.
I always assume they're just embarrassed to eat what they want in front of people because they're overweight and make up for it in private lol.
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Invading someone's privacy by questioning their food choices in public is not okay. But if I had a coworker who weighed 200 pounds and opted for 2 oz of tuna for lunch, I would have assumed that they are dangerously starving themselves in order to lose weight. I would have just asked in private.
I always assume they're just embarrassed to eat what they want in front of people because they're overweight and make up for it in private lol.
Wow.5 -
I would give more than half a sideways glance at a coworker who proclaimed to be so hungry, yet was eating just a can of tuna for lunch and it would be concern.
(The other half of the glance would be annoyance at the revolting smell of the canned tuna permeating our shared space.)
Should she have gone on about it? No, but you did open yourself up to it by claiming to be so hungry. Also, for someone who is trying to claim they didn't care about it, your indignant and ranty thread is amusing.
2 oz - not even a can!4 -
I would give more than half a sideways glance at a coworker who proclaimed to be so hungry, yet was eating just a can of tuna for lunch and it would be concern.
(The other half of the glance would be annoyance at the revolting smell of the canned tuna permeating our shared space.)
Should she have gone on about it? No, but you did open yourself up to it by claiming to be so hungry. Also, for someone who is trying to claim they didn't care about it, your indignant and ranty thread is amusing.
I'm glad you're amused LOL I don't think I claimed to be so hungry. I just agreed with someone else who said they were hungry. A few people in the room were not eating at all so there was no reason to go on and on about what I was eating and calling attention to it. There could have been any number of reasons why I was eating so little. Maybe I wanted to eat the rest of my lunch at my desk. Maybe I don't usually eat lunch at all. Or the real reason, which was that that was all I could eat.
I can assure you all, this did not ruin my day one bit some of you have taken the fact that I made a thread about it way way way too seriously. I wasn't crying in a dark corner. This is a forum about food is it not? Some of you need to chill.3 -
I get annoyed if work meetings and other things prevent me from getting lunch, as I like to have lunch, so if a co-worker told me she was hungry (especially someone who I was used to seeing have normal lunches) and then picked at a can of tuna I'd probably think she forgot her lunch or didn't get a chance to get one and would be nice (if possible) by saying we could wait for her to get lunch. If you hadn't said you were hungry I probably wouldn't have thought about it.
If you hadn't said you were hungry I wouldn't have noticed what you were eating or if you were or not (for example, the lettuce woman).
I also would have dropped it with one "no, I'm good" although I might have wondered, so agree the person went on too long if it really was as reported (sometimes it can get blown up in your own mind). But it doesn't seem that weird for her to have asked/wondered.9 -
Someone in the meeting kept saying, "that's it? That's all you're eating? You want half my sandwich? Do you want to run and go get something?"
I kept saying I was fine... I just wanted a little tuna. My other coworker finally stepped in and put a stop to it.
The issue is not the food. The issue is that some people don't know when to drop something, as clearly illustrated in the original post. To ask if the OP wanted something was fine but the second the OP said no, that should have been the end of the conversation. Yet it wasn't.
The PPs mentioning the OP commenting on the bowl of lettuce: Only on here. Not to her face. She's painting a picture at most.
There is a big difference between quietly judging someone's choices and verbally harassing them over it. Repeatedly commenting on someone's food is unpleasant, unnecessary and just plain *kitten* rude.
So yes, OP, your colleague is a *kitten*.9 -
Yeah if someone told me that they're hungry and only eat 2oz of tuna... I'd totally be asking them if they want something else. Because that's not even a snack for normal people. I would also assume that they didn't bring lunch, and possibly ask a couple times to make sure that the person isn't saying no because she doesn't want to be a bother (because sorry but no normal person will eat 2oz of tuna and be full after saying that she's hungry).
The lettuce eating person probably didn't say that she was hungry, so yeah, I can see why they left her alone.15 -
Invading someone's privacy by questioning their food choices in public is not okay. But if I had a coworker who weighed 200 pounds and opted for 2 oz of tuna for lunch, I would have assumed that they are dangerously starving themselves in order to lose weight. I would have just asked in private.
It would worry you if someone ate a single serving pouch of tuna?
Why?
You don't know what else they're eating the rest of the day, only that you see them eating a serving of tuna, and you've taken a giant leap to the conclusion that they're starving themselves dangerously. That seems kind of extreme.7 -
OP, my observation after reading this, thumbing through your profile and diary and I come up with this,
You have been eating VLCD for around 6 weeks, it clearly states that you are all or nothing type and when it comes to weight loss its about fast results. I can only assume that peers in the work place have been witnessing a person that has been severely under eating, perhaps they are just concerned about their co worker and maybe this one lady is one of those types that is just blunt and for a lack of a better word not very tactful in how she handles her self when making such comments out loud. I could easily see that you may been displaying signs of person losing weight in an unhealthy manner for a while while in fact you are.
You were concerned enough about 'something' to create such a thread. Cannot say exactly, but people are always gonna be people, and people feel its their prerogative to say anything they feel free to do so, even if its at yours or my expense, but it did affect you, if it did not you would not created this thread.24 -
Oh wow! I never knew that MFP replaced the F word with *kitten*! I really thought there were just a lot of "oh shucks, golly gee" cutesy posters on here.
Gee golly, wouldn't want to offend anyone who might give a toot about my ding dang dottily doodling.
That's how you curse here I think
LOL! I have definitely misread a lot of people's tone on here but it's also made this community a lot sweeter for me.
It's just a damned shame that you can't say whatever the hell you want.
(Which appears to be where UA draw the line)5 -
I say I am hungry all the time .... doesn't mean I'll need more than just tuna to tide me over. Ya, it would have annoyed me a little too .... if you don't have cookies to offer, it's better to not say anything to me4
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I never comment on what, or how much, people eat, that's their choices and has no impact on my life. What I would find offensive is the smell of the tuna. Something about seafood makes my nauseated to the point I have to leave the room. Which sucks because where I work there are almost daily late afternoon spreads and they always have shrimp...
gabriellejayde, I agree with you, it was rude of that person to constantly bring to everybody's attention what you were having for lunch.5 -
Bit of a sidetrack, but I don't get the hate for tuna in this thread. I don't have it for lunch much but there is often someone with tuna of some sort and it doesn't smell in any way that impacts me eating? Canned or otherwise? What kind of tuna are people having that stinks?7
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OP, my observation after reading this, thumbing through your profile and diary and I come up with this,
You have been eating VLCD for around 6 weeks, it clearly states that you are all or nothing type and when it comes to weight loss its about fast results. I can only assume that peers in the work place have been witnessing a person that has been severely under eating, perhaps they are just concerned about their co worker and maybe this one lady is one of those types that is just blunt and for a lack of a better word not very tactful in how she handles her self when making such comments out loud. I could easily see that you may been displaying signs of person losing weight in an unhealthy manner for a while while in fact you are.
You were concerned enough about 'something' to create such a thread. Cannot say exactly, but people are always gonna be people, and people feel its their prerogative to say anything they feel free to do so, even if its at yours or my expense, but it did affect you, if it did not you would not created this thread.
How about... don't assume anything.
The woman who wouldn't let up has never seen me eat before. I work at a HUGE company and we've never crossed paths. The coworker who told her to drop it knows why I was eating so little. it's probably best not to assess my weightloss habits without knowing anything else, no?
I found it annoying. Is that letting it effect me? If so, then ok. I made a thread here because that's what people do, but if you knew me, you'd know I don't take much seriously and find most people pretty amusing.
Yes, 2oz of tuna is very little. So is lettuce. So is nothing at all. I think we're done here. Thanks for coming to the party!2 -
moonstroller wrote: »I never comment on what, or how much, people eat, that's their choices and has no impact on my life. What I would find offensive is the smell of the tuna. Something about seafood makes my nauseated to the point I have to leave the room. Which sucks because where I work there are almost daily late afternoon spreads and they always have shrimp...
gabriellejayde, I agree with you, it was rude of that person to constantly bring to everybody's attention what you were having for lunch.
We wouldn't work well together ... I eat tuna out of the can often ... with sriracha, of course5 -
moonstroller wrote: »I never comment on what, or how much, people eat, that's their choices and has no impact on my life. What I would find offensive is the smell of the tuna. Something about seafood makes my nauseated to the point I have to leave the room. Which sucks because where I work there are almost daily late afternoon spreads and they always have shrimp...
gabriellejayde, I agree with you, it was rude of that person to constantly bring to everybody's attention what you were having for lunch.
Yeah food in meetings can be really ... annoying. Anything that smells strongly is rough, and then there's the noisy foods that make it hard to hear, or people who are trying to chew and talk. Still though it's not really OK to comment on how much or how little you see a coworker eating in front of you.
Whether OP has an eating disorder or not (and I'm not going to offer an opinion on that either way), I think commentary on coworker's food should be limited to "The smell/noise is causing a disruption in the meeting." and not commentary on amounts.4 -
Even if They were concerned, they didn't need to make a big production out of it. They could've just quietly asked a discreet question. People who do stuff like that aren't doing anyone any favors .4
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gabriellejayde wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »I can't eat much at once.
Today in work we had a lunch meeting. On the way there, someone said they were hungry and I said me too. I had a little container of 2oz of tuna that I picked at. Someone in the meeting kept saying, "that's it? That's all you're eating? You want half my sandwich? Do you want to run and go get something?"
I kept saying I was fine... I just wanted a little tuna. My other coworker finally stepped in and put a stop to it.
I left there so annoyed.
2oz of tuna is not even enough for a baby though. Maybe they were concerned you couldn't afford more and felt bad. And if your diary is right youre eating 500-700 calories per day?... Do you have a medical reason you eat less? Because if not, that would qualify as an eating disorder. And if you have pain of some sort you should see a dr. You can really harm your body eating that low long term.
I have a medical reason and I don't have an eating disorder.
Frankly though, what I eat was none of this woman's business.
I might offer because you never know if someone is struggling or starving and has no money to feed themselves. 2oz of tuna is literally nothing substantial. 4-6oz on bread with a fruit would be a "normal" meal... I understand if there are medical reasons, but if I saw that I might worry too. And if it was someone younger like a teen I might think eating disorder and find the need to step in because honestly certain things are our business. If I see someone hurting themselves with a razor I try to help and if they won't let me I call the police and eating disorders are self-harm in their own way so I would definitely be concerned. I'd rather be "rude" and at least try because I care and I've been there. (I had an ED myself and still struggle on occasion.)
No, I understand that... but a...i work at a company that pays well and it was a room of executives. Nobody was concerned that I couldn't afford more. And I weigh over 200lbs.
But even if she was worried...she wouldn't stop calling attention to my lunch in front of everyone.
That's just rude.
I was looking at your profile . . . and this also stuck out to me. I am big too - I weigh 240lbs and I am 5'10, so not a small girl. I eat 6 times a day . . . smaller meals because it works better for me, not saying it's the way to go.
But anyways, here's where I'm going with this: people used to ask about the meals I eat, too. They were concerned I was eating so little at lunch but after they got to know me and saw that I legit eat almost all day long lol they stopped asking. You have over 50lbs you want to lose (as per your profile) and eating that little isn't sustainable long term. I believe their questions came from a place of worry. And no they weren't asking the "thin young assistant" (although, this seriously sounds like something out of a movie) about her meal because she's tiny, she needs less to sustain herself. I don't mean this in a rude way at all but bigger people need more to sustain them . . . we just do. I'm losing on 2,100 calories a day. LOSING. I also have 150lbs of LBM on me so I'm kinda lucky . . . but I was 350lbs for a long time so that much muscle was needed to help me stay mobile, I've just kept it on by working out and not losing too fast. I think it's genuinely a place of concern and honestly when I read you want to lose over 50lbs and you're eating 800 calories/day it really upsets me too. That isn't healthy and it's not good for you, long term anyways.8 -
gabriellejayde wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »I can't eat much at once.
Today in work we had a lunch meeting. On the way there, someone said they were hungry and I said me too. I had a little container of 2oz of tuna that I picked at. Someone in the meeting kept saying, "that's it? That's all you're eating? You want half my sandwich? Do you want to run and go get something?"
I kept saying I was fine... I just wanted a little tuna. My other coworker finally stepped in and put a stop to it.
I left there so annoyed.
2oz of tuna is not even enough for a baby though. Maybe they were concerned you couldn't afford more and felt bad. And if your diary is right youre eating 500-700 calories per day?... Do you have a medical reason you eat less? Because if not, that would qualify as an eating disorder. And if you have pain of some sort you should see a dr. You can really harm your body eating that low long term.
I have a medical reason and I don't have an eating disorder.
Frankly though, what I eat was none of this woman's business.
I might offer because you never know if someone is struggling or starving and has no money to feed themselves. 2oz of tuna is literally nothing substantial. 4-6oz on bread with a fruit would be a "normal" meal... I understand if there are medical reasons, but if I saw that I might worry too. And if it was someone younger like a teen I might think eating disorder and find the need to step in because honestly certain things are our business. If I see someone hurting themselves with a razor I try to help and if they won't let me I call the police and eating disorders are self-harm in their own way so I would definitely be concerned. I'd rather be "rude" and at least try because I care and I've been there. (I had an ED myself and still struggle on occasion.)
No, I understand that... but a...i work at a company that pays well and it was a room of executives. Nobody was concerned that I couldn't afford more. And I weigh over 200lbs.
But even if she was worried...she wouldn't stop calling attention to my lunch in front of everyone.
That's just rude.
You're right, it was extremely rude. Even if she were concerned that you didn't have money to eat, it's still extremely rude to make more than a passing remark.
But you can't control people (unfortunately). Some people just have no manners.5 -
gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »You said you were hungry and then you were eating very little. I would have also offered to share my food with you for the same reasons. I'm sure she went on longer than she should have, but it's not hard to figure out why she said something.
Nobody said anything to the young, thin assistant in the room eating a big bowl of lettuce. Just lettuce.
Did she talk about being hungry right before that? You appear to have taken this extremely personally. As I said, it sounds like she should have let it go, but you seem really defensive about this. And what does your weight have to do with it?
I didn't take anything personally at all. That's an odd thing to surmise. I mentioned my weight because I'm clearly not anorexic.
Whether it's a small amount of food or a huge amount, it was rude to bring up and NOT drop. This wasn't a friend of mine.
Anorexia is not the only kind of eating disorder out there, and you don't have to be thin to have one. While Anorexia and Bulima (the binge/purge) are the most commonly talked about it is very possible, at any size, to have a disordered relationship with eating. I got to my biggest - and stayed there - legitimately because of the role food played in my life. If I was happy, I got something to celebrate. I graduated? Let's go out for dinner! Got a new job? Dinner!! Had a bad day? Pick up pizza on the way home and drown my sorrows in some pizza and Grey's. It was VERY unhealthy for me.
My biggest changes - for myself - came from the ability to see food as just fuel for the body, not a reward or something to soothe me. It's just fuel and my body needs it so find the premium fuel and put it in. It does sound, from your profile, like you have a disordered relationship with food when you state you go from not giving a *kitten* to counting every single crumb and trying to "lose it as fast as possible".13 -
acorsaut89 wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »You said you were hungry and then you were eating very little. I would have also offered to share my food with you for the same reasons. I'm sure she went on longer than she should have, but it's not hard to figure out why she said something.
Nobody said anything to the young, thin assistant in the room eating a big bowl of lettuce. Just lettuce.
Did she talk about being hungry right before that? You appear to have taken this extremely personally. As I said, it sounds like she should have let it go, but you seem really defensive about this. And what does your weight have to do with it?
I didn't take anything personally at all. That's an odd thing to surmise. I mentioned my weight because I'm clearly not anorexic.
Whether it's a small amount of food or a huge amount, it was rude to bring up and NOT drop. This wasn't a friend of mine.
Anorexia is not the only kind of eating disorder out there, and you don't have to be thin to have one. While Anorexia and Bulima (the binge/purge) are the most commonly talked about it is very possible, at any size, to have a disordered relationship with eating. I got to my biggest - and stayed there - legitimately because of the role food played in my life. If I was happy, I got something to celebrate. I graduated? Let's go out for dinner! Got a new job? Dinner!! Had a bad day? Pick up pizza on the way home and drown my sorrows in some pizza and Grey's. It was VERY unhealthy for me.
My biggest changes - for myself - came from the ability to see food as just fuel for the body, not a reward or something to soothe me. It's just fuel and my body needs it so find the premium fuel and put it in. It does sound, from your profile, like you have a disordered relationship with food when you state you go from not giving a *kitten* to counting every single crumb and trying to "lose it as fast as possible".
Even if the OP had an eating disorder or the co-worker suspected she did, a work luncheon is not the place to bring it up. If the co-worker were truly concerned they should speak to her later in private. There is never a valid justification for repeatedly mentioning someone else's food choices in a gathering at work.9 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »acorsaut89 wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »You said you were hungry and then you were eating very little. I would have also offered to share my food with you for the same reasons. I'm sure she went on longer than she should have, but it's not hard to figure out why she said something.
Nobody said anything to the young, thin assistant in the room eating a big bowl of lettuce. Just lettuce.
Did she talk about being hungry right before that? You appear to have taken this extremely personally. As I said, it sounds like she should have let it go, but you seem really defensive about this. And what does your weight have to do with it?
I didn't take anything personally at all. That's an odd thing to surmise. I mentioned my weight because I'm clearly not anorexic.
Whether it's a small amount of food or a huge amount, it was rude to bring up and NOT drop. This wasn't a friend of mine.
Anorexia is not the only kind of eating disorder out there, and you don't have to be thin to have one. While Anorexia and Bulima (the binge/purge) are the most commonly talked about it is very possible, at any size, to have a disordered relationship with eating. I got to my biggest - and stayed there - legitimately because of the role food played in my life. If I was happy, I got something to celebrate. I graduated? Let's go out for dinner! Got a new job? Dinner!! Had a bad day? Pick up pizza on the way home and drown my sorrows in some pizza and Grey's. It was VERY unhealthy for me.
My biggest changes - for myself - came from the ability to see food as just fuel for the body, not a reward or something to soothe me. It's just fuel and my body needs it so find the premium fuel and put it in. It does sound, from your profile, like you have a disordered relationship with food when you state you go from not giving a *kitten* to counting every single crumb and trying to "lose it as fast as possible".
Even if the OP had an eating disorder or the co-worker suspected she did, a work luncheon is not the place to bring it up. If the co-worker were truly concerned they should speak to her later in private. There is never a valid justification for repeatedly mentioning someone else's food choices in a gathering at work.
I wasn't saying the co-worker thought she had one . . . OP said she mentioned her weight because obviously someone who is 200lbs can't have an ED.
While something private like that shouldn't be brought up in front of others when you don't know how someone will handle it, OP opened the door to talking about a disordered relationship with food in this thread.9
This discussion has been closed.
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