Fat shaming
edena001
Posts: 137 Member
Personally I think it's okay to call people out in being overweight / obese. It's the only reason I realised there was a problem I had to lose weight.
I think people's view on you is important
I think people's view on you is important
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Replies
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There's a difference between having a one on one talk to someone because you care for them and are concerned about their health and calling someone fat just to be a jerk.23
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thiosulfate wrote: »There's a difference between having a one on one talk to someone because you care for them and are concerned about their health and calling someone fat just to be a jerk.
I think people jump too quickly to someone being a jerk.
If you say someone is overweight or obese that's totally okay, people should know that's not okay to be unhealthy.
I'm obviously not talking about people saying 'you're a fat ****' or something.
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I noticed the opposite too, when I was cutting, many people were commenting at me how I looked sick, skinny...all kinds of negative comments when in reality I was in the best shape of my life. I was nowhere near anorexic that people made it out to be, in fact it was the first time I was able to see my abs,veins and muscles pop out. There is unfortunately shaming in both side of the spectrum.
Yes there is shaming on both sides. And it's currently acceptable to tell someone they're underweight and need to put on a few pounds. But not okay to say it for overweight people.
I think that's the main reason I think it's okay, because it is the other way.
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In my opinion, simply saying someone is overweight should not be considered hurtful as long as that person is you know, actually overweight. But I don't think someone gains significant weight without noticing that their clothes are way tighter or something like that3
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No one's view on me was important. I knew I was fat. No one needed to tell me. I knew I needed to lose weight. I don't know the ratio of how many people know as opposed to those who are in denial, but you might be telling someone who doesn't care what your opinion/ view of them is.
I'm in the process of losing weight, but I'm still fat. If someone said something to me, my reply would be "Yeah, and?"16 -
thiosulfate wrote: »In my opinion, simply saying someone is overweight should not be considered hurtful as long as that person is you know, actually overweight. But I don't think someone gains significant weight without noticing that their clothes are way tighter or something like that
Yeah this is what I'm trying to say. But many people say this is fat shaming and you shouldn't be able to say that to someone. Or they go overall 'I love my body I don't need to lose anything' but sure you can love your body, but it's unhealthy so you should do something about it1 -
Have you done this? What happened?
Most people realize they are 'fat' or not...some are due to medical issues (prescriptions, etc.,). If you know the person certainly let them know you are concerned for their health. I would definitely do this.
One can not just assume someone is 'fat' because they just stuff their face....if you don't know the 'whole' story it's certainly not your place to call people 'out' you don't know.4 -
YvetteK2015 wrote: »No one's view on me was important. I knew I was fat. No one needed to tell me. I knew I needed to lose weight. I don't know the ratio of how many people know as opposed to those who are in denial, but you might be telling someone who doesn't care what your opinion/ view of them is.
I'm in the process of losing weight, but I'm still fat. If someone said something to me, my reply would be "Yeah, and?"
This is based mostly at the people who ignore it. I wouldn't want my children to walk around thinking is okay to be obese, which they're more likely to do if there's obese people around them.1 -
Have you done this? What happened?
Most people realize they are 'fat' or not...some are due to medical issues (prescriptions, etc.,). If you know the person certainly let them know you are concerned for their health. I would definitely do this.
One can not just assume someone is 'fat' because they just stuff their face....if you don't know the 'whole' story it's certainly not your place to call people 'out' you don't know.
Yes I've recently told someone they were overweight (this was on a silly social media page where she asked for opinions) and I got a lot of fat shaming hate, despite saying it really nicely.
I've found this is the response you get whatever the situation, which is a shame seeing as it's 'okay' to shame other people with unhealthy habits.0 -
YvetteK2015 wrote: »No one's view on me was important. I knew I was fat. No one needed to tell me. I knew I needed to lose weight. I don't know the ratio of how many people know as opposed to those who are in denial, but you might be telling someone who doesn't care what your opinion/ view of them is.
I'm in the process of losing weight, but I'm still fat. If someone said something to me, my reply would be "Yeah, and?"
This is based mostly at the people who ignore it. I wouldn't want my children to walk around thinking is okay to be obese, which they're more likely to do if there's obese people around them.
The sad truth is (I don't know if you live in America or not) but something like 2/3 of Americans (I think, I might be off on that number) is overweight. Your children are going to see overweight people everywhere. You can't call everyone out. But you can teach you children good, healthy eating habits, and teach them by example.3 -
YvetteK2015 wrote: »YvetteK2015 wrote: »No one's view on me was important. I knew I was fat. No one needed to tell me. I knew I needed to lose weight. I don't know the ratio of how many people know as opposed to those who are in denial, but you might be telling someone who doesn't care what your opinion/ view of them is.
I'm in the process of losing weight, but I'm still fat. If someone said something to me, my reply would be "Yeah, and?"
This is based mostly at the people who ignore it. I wouldn't want my children to walk around thinking is okay to be obese, which they're more likely to do if there's obese people around them.
The sad truth is (I don't know if you live in America or not) but something like 2/3 of Americans (I think, I might be off on that number) is overweight. Your children are going to see overweight people everywhere. You can't call everyone out. But you can teach you children good, healthy eating habits, and teach them by example.
I live in England. But I still think it's okay to tell someone they're overweight, just as you'd say smoking is bad for you, overeating or not exercising till you're overweight isn't healthy for tou2 -
Eh. Feel free to tell me I'm fat. I'll likewise feel free to tell you to £%$# off.46
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YvetteK2015 wrote: »YvetteK2015 wrote: »No one's view on me was important. I knew I was fat. No one needed to tell me. I knew I needed to lose weight. I don't know the ratio of how many people know as opposed to those who are in denial, but you might be telling someone who doesn't care what your opinion/ view of them is.
I'm in the process of losing weight, but I'm still fat. If someone said something to me, my reply would be "Yeah, and?"
This is based mostly at the people who ignore it. I wouldn't want my children to walk around thinking is okay to be obese, which they're more likely to do if there's obese people around them.
The sad truth is (I don't know if you live in America or not) but something like 2/3 of Americans (I think, I might be off on that number) is overweight. Your children are going to see overweight people everywhere. You can't call everyone out. But you can teach you children good, healthy eating habits, and teach them by example.
I live in England. But I still think it's okay to tell someone they're overweight, just as you'd say smoking is bad for you, overeating or not exercising till you're overweight isn't healthy for tou
Lol.0 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »Eh. Feel free to tell me I'm fat. I'll likewise feel free to tell you to £%$# off.
One is being rude, the other isn't4 -
It's only really okay to say something if the advice is asked for. I don't walk up to random people smoking and say it's bad for them, but if someone asked for my opinion on whether they should smoke then I would tell them how unhealthy it is. Usually people have more of a problem with calling out their weight when it is unwarrented.11
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YvetteK2015 wrote: »YvetteK2015 wrote: »No one's view on me was important. I knew I was fat. No one needed to tell me. I knew I needed to lose weight. I don't know the ratio of how many people know as opposed to those who are in denial, but you might be telling someone who doesn't care what your opinion/ view of them is.
I'm in the process of losing weight, but I'm still fat. If someone said something to me, my reply would be "Yeah, and?"
This is based mostly at the people who ignore it. I wouldn't want my children to walk around thinking is okay to be obese, which they're more likely to do if there's obese people around them.
The sad truth is (I don't know if you live in America or not) but something like 2/3 of Americans (I think, I might be off on that number) is overweight. Your children are going to see overweight people everywhere. You can't call everyone out. But you can teach you children good, healthy eating habits, and teach them by example.
I live in England. But I still think it's okay to tell someone they're overweight, just as you'd say smoking is bad for you, overeating or not exercising till you're overweight isn't healthy for tou
But you are not the food and exercise police. Nor the smoking police. What people do is their own business, and not yours. Now, if it's someone you know that you are truly concerned for, then talking about your concern is fine. But no one wants to hear what a strangers thinks of them. Again, it's not your business. Work on what YOU can control, and that's your kids.18 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »Eh. Feel free to tell me I'm fat. I'll likewise feel free to tell you to £%$# off.
One is being rude, the other isn't
No, no it is. Don't pretend randomly telling someone they're fat is out of some sort of concern for their health or other altruistic notion. It's just being a dick. I'd prefer if you taught your kids not to be a dick.42 -
thiosulfate wrote: »There's a difference between having a one on one talk to someone because you care for them and are concerned about their health and calling someone fat just to be a jerk.
I think people jump too quickly to someone being a jerk.
If you say someone is overweight or obese that's totally okay, people should know that's not okay to be unhealthy.
I'm obviously not talking about people saying 'you're a fat ****' or something.
Having a sensitive, quiet talk with someone about an issue that may be adversely affecting their health and quality of life is not fat shaming. Calling them a fat*kitten* is exactly fat shaming.1 -
YvetteK2015 wrote: »YvetteK2015 wrote: »YvetteK2015 wrote: »No one's view on me was important. I knew I was fat. No one needed to tell me. I knew I needed to lose weight. I don't know the ratio of how many people know as opposed to those who are in denial, but you might be telling someone who doesn't care what your opinion/ view of them is.
I'm in the process of losing weight, but I'm still fat. If someone said something to me, my reply would be "Yeah, and?"
This is based mostly at the people who ignore it. I wouldn't want my children to walk around thinking is okay to be obese, which they're more likely to do if there's obese people around them.
The sad truth is (I don't know if you live in America or not) but something like 2/3 of Americans (I think, I might be off on that number) is overweight. Your children are going to see overweight people everywhere. You can't call everyone out. But you can teach you children good, healthy eating habits, and teach them by example.
I live in England. But I still think it's okay to tell someone they're overweight, just as you'd say smoking is bad for you, overeating or not exercising till you're overweight isn't healthy for tou
But you are not the food and exercise police. Nor the smoking police. What people do is their own business, and not yours. Now, if it's someone you know that you are truly concerned for, then talking about your concern is fine. But no one wants to hear what a strangers thinks of them. Again, it's not your business. Work on what YOU can control, and that's your kids.Alatariel75 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »Eh. Feel free to tell me I'm fat. I'll likewise feel free to tell you to £%$# off.
One is being rude, the other isn't
No, no it is. Don't pretend randomly telling someone they're fat is out of some sort of concern for their health or other altruistic notion. It's just being a dick. I'd prefer if you taught your kids not to be a dick.
Then, please, explain why it's socially acceptable to tell a skinny person they're skinny or underweight or need to eat more food?2 -
YvetteK2015 wrote: »YvetteK2015 wrote: »YvetteK2015 wrote: »No one's view on me was important. I knew I was fat. No one needed to tell me. I knew I needed to lose weight. I don't know the ratio of how many people know as opposed to those who are in denial, but you might be telling someone who doesn't care what your opinion/ view of them is.
I'm in the process of losing weight, but I'm still fat. If someone said something to me, my reply would be "Yeah, and?"
This is based mostly at the people who ignore it. I wouldn't want my children to walk around thinking is okay to be obese, which they're more likely to do if there's obese people around them.
The sad truth is (I don't know if you live in America or not) but something like 2/3 of Americans (I think, I might be off on that number) is overweight. Your children are going to see overweight people everywhere. You can't call everyone out. But you can teach you children good, healthy eating habits, and teach them by example.
I live in England. But I still think it's okay to tell someone they're overweight, just as you'd say smoking is bad for you, overeating or not exercising till you're overweight isn't healthy for tou
But you are not the food and exercise police. Nor the smoking police. What people do is their own business, and not yours. Now, if it's someone you know that you are truly concerned for, then talking about your concern is fine. But no one wants to hear what a strangers thinks of them. Again, it's not your business. Work on what YOU can control, and that's your kids.Alatariel75 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »Eh. Feel free to tell me I'm fat. I'll likewise feel free to tell you to £%$# off.
One is being rude, the other isn't
No, no it is. Don't pretend randomly telling someone they're fat is out of some sort of concern for their health or other altruistic notion. It's just being a dick. I'd prefer if you taught your kids not to be a dick.
Then, please, explain why it's socially acceptable to tell a skinny person they're skinny or underweight or need to eat more food?
What makes you think that's acceptable?16 -
thiosulfate wrote: »There's a difference between having a one on one talk to someone because you care for them and are concerned about their health and calling someone fat just to be a jerk.
I think people jump too quickly to someone being a jerk.
If you say someone is overweight or obese that's totally okay, people should know that's not okay to be unhealthy.
I'm obviously not talking about people saying 'you're a fat ****' or something.
Having a sensitive, quiet talk with someone about an issue that may be adversely affecting their health and quality of life is not fat shaming. Calling them a fat*kitten* is exactly fat shaming.
Many take the first, any concerned nicely worded comment, as fat shaming simply because you're talking about their weight1 -
YvetteK2015 wrote: »YvetteK2015 wrote: »YvetteK2015 wrote: »No one's view on me was important. I knew I was fat. No one needed to tell me. I knew I needed to lose weight. I don't know the ratio of how many people know as opposed to those who are in denial, but you might be telling someone who doesn't care what your opinion/ view of them is.
I'm in the process of losing weight, but I'm still fat. If someone said something to me, my reply would be "Yeah, and?"
This is based mostly at the people who ignore it. I wouldn't want my children to walk around thinking is okay to be obese, which they're more likely to do if there's obese people around them.
The sad truth is (I don't know if you live in America or not) but something like 2/3 of Americans (I think, I might be off on that number) is overweight. Your children are going to see overweight people everywhere. You can't call everyone out. But you can teach you children good, healthy eating habits, and teach them by example.
I live in England. But I still think it's okay to tell someone they're overweight, just as you'd say smoking is bad for you, overeating or not exercising till you're overweight isn't healthy for tou
But you are not the food and exercise police. Nor the smoking police. What people do is their own business, and not yours. Now, if it's someone you know that you are truly concerned for, then talking about your concern is fine. But no one wants to hear what a strangers thinks of them. Again, it's not your business. Work on what YOU can control, and that's your kids.Alatariel75 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »Eh. Feel free to tell me I'm fat. I'll likewise feel free to tell you to £%$# off.
One is being rude, the other isn't
No, no it is. Don't pretend randomly telling someone they're fat is out of some sort of concern for their health or other altruistic notion. It's just being a dick. I'd prefer if you taught your kids not to be a dick.
Then, please, explain why it's socially acceptable to tell a skinny person they're skinny or underweight or need to eat more food?
It's not.6 -
YvetteK2015 wrote: »YvetteK2015 wrote: »YvetteK2015 wrote: »No one's view on me was important. I knew I was fat. No one needed to tell me. I knew I needed to lose weight. I don't know the ratio of how many people know as opposed to those who are in denial, but you might be telling someone who doesn't care what your opinion/ view of them is.
I'm in the process of losing weight, but I'm still fat. If someone said something to me, my reply would be "Yeah, and?"
This is based mostly at the people who ignore it. I wouldn't want my children to walk around thinking is okay to be obese, which they're more likely to do if there's obese people around them.
The sad truth is (I don't know if you live in America or not) but something like 2/3 of Americans (I think, I might be off on that number) is overweight. Your children are going to see overweight people everywhere. You can't call everyone out. But you can teach you children good, healthy eating habits, and teach them by example.
I live in England. But I still think it's okay to tell someone they're overweight, just as you'd say smoking is bad for you, overeating or not exercising till you're overweight isn't healthy for tou
But you are not the food and exercise police. Nor the smoking police. What people do is their own business, and not yours. Now, if it's someone you know that you are truly concerned for, then talking about your concern is fine. But no one wants to hear what a strangers thinks of them. Again, it's not your business. Work on what YOU can control, and that's your kids.Alatariel75 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »Eh. Feel free to tell me I'm fat. I'll likewise feel free to tell you to £%$# off.
One is being rude, the other isn't
No, no it is. Don't pretend randomly telling someone they're fat is out of some sort of concern for their health or other altruistic notion. It's just being a dick. I'd prefer if you taught your kids not to be a dick.
Then, please, explain why it's socially acceptable to tell a skinny person they're skinny or underweight or need to eat more food?
I never said it was. I also think that's rude. I think people should learn to mind their own business and stop believing their sense of superiority equals the right to comment on other people's lives and bodies.15 -
thiosulfate wrote: »There's a difference between having a one on one talk to someone because you care for them and are concerned about their health and calling someone fat just to be a jerk.
I think people jump too quickly to someone being a jerk.
If you say someone is overweight or obese that's totally okay, people should know that's not okay to be unhealthy.
I'm obviously not talking about people saying 'you're a fat ****' or something.
Having a sensitive, quiet talk with someone about an issue that may be adversely affecting their health and quality of life is not fat shaming. Calling them a fat*kitten* is exactly fat shaming.
Many take the first, any concerned nicely worded comment, as fat shaming simply because you're talking about their weight
They're wrong.
Edit: Although I should clarify I was talking about someone you know well. Doing this with random strangers is inappropriate.5 -
YvetteK2015 wrote: »YvetteK2015 wrote: »YvetteK2015 wrote: »No one's view on me was important. I knew I was fat. No one needed to tell me. I knew I needed to lose weight. I don't know the ratio of how many people know as opposed to those who are in denial, but you might be telling someone who doesn't care what your opinion/ view of them is.
I'm in the process of losing weight, but I'm still fat. If someone said something to me, my reply would be "Yeah, and?"
This is based mostly at the people who ignore it. I wouldn't want my children to walk around thinking is okay to be obese, which they're more likely to do if there's obese people around them.
The sad truth is (I don't know if you live in America or not) but something like 2/3 of Americans (I think, I might be off on that number) is overweight. Your children are going to see overweight people everywhere. You can't call everyone out. But you can teach you children good, healthy eating habits, and teach them by example.
I live in England. But I still think it's okay to tell someone they're overweight, just as you'd say smoking is bad for you, overeating or not exercising till you're overweight isn't healthy for tou
But you are not the food and exercise police. Nor the smoking police. What people do is their own business, and not yours. Now, if it's someone you know that you are truly concerned for, then talking about your concern is fine. But no one wants to hear what a strangers thinks of them. Again, it's not your business. Work on what YOU can control, and that's your kids.Alatariel75 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »Eh. Feel free to tell me I'm fat. I'll likewise feel free to tell you to £%$# off.
One is being rude, the other isn't
No, no it is. Don't pretend randomly telling someone they're fat is out of some sort of concern for their health or other altruistic notion. It's just being a dick. I'd prefer if you taught your kids not to be a dick.
Then, please, explain why it's socially acceptable to tell a skinny person they're skinny or underweight or need to eat more food?
It's not acceptable. I will say, the one time I was concerned enough about someone being too skinny was my sister when she was going through a divorce. She was 79lbs, and anorexic. I even went to her doctors. But other than a situation like that, shaming a skinny person is equally unacceptable.7 -
Not ok. It can cause eating disorders.1
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I believe it is inappropriate to comment on someone's weight negatively regardless if they are thin or overweight. I also believe it is inappropriate to comment negatively on someone's physical appearance in anyway. If it is someone you know personally then a serious conversation can be appropriate but not "calling out" someone.6
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Unless asked for an opinion or advice, it's better to keep your mouth shut about other people's habits. They might respond with an opinion about your bad habits that you may not appreciate either. Nobody is perfect. We all live in glass houses of one sort or another.11
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Is anyone surprised what this thread turned into? I sense a closure here soon....
OP, would you go up to someone who's overweight and tell them, even if that same person is already 100 pounds less than they were a year ago - and is already on the journey you are preaching? Is that okay too?
You can't judge someone without knowing their journey. Well you can, but you would be more shamed than the person you are trying to coax into shame.
Do you really think you are helping anything?
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This discussion has been closed.
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