What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say?

cee134 · June 2017

What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say?

For example,

My brother thought the UK had a billion people in it, then when he saw my confused expression he over corrected and said five million. He got really angry when I started laughing. He works for the British civil service.

(65.14 million for anyone that's wondering)

cee134 · June 2017

On a map, is the blue part the water or the sky?

cee134 · June 2017

I heard a kid once argue that 'not all triangles have three sides'.

RunHardBeStrong · June 2017

At subway one time a lady in front of me asked the sandwich artist which was bigger, the 12 inch or the 6 inch. I couldn't help bust out laughing. The sandwich artist had trouble containing his laughter.

Just_J_Now · June 2017

About the Underground Railroad.... "There has to be an opening for the railroad, because somebody's driving the train. It's not electric like what we have now."

Mind you, this was an african american woman whose great grandfather was a civil rights leader.

lol, gotta love those housewives.

FireTurtle75 · June 2017

Whatever it was, it was probably something I said.

Just_J_Now · June 2017

"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."

- George W. Bush

Momepro · June 2017

I was a groomer for many years. Had a guy come in worried about his dog getting cancer from walking where "them furriners dogs go. They get off them boats and you don't know what all they have. Then my dog can sniff there and get their cancers!"

Then there was the bus lady who was trying to convince everyone that dog and cat bites cause cancer and aids. She came up with some crazy fake sciency stuff to prove it and had the bus driver convinced. As soon as she got off the bus, several of us explained how she was super crazy and wrong. We didn't bother while she was talking, because sometimes you just let crazy talk unless you want to end up in the middle of way crazier.

Unknown · June 2017

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Coltsforlife84 · June 2017

"lebron is better then jordan"

clh72569 · June 2017

I am a 3rd generation Japanese lady. My grandparents emigrated from Japan. I'm what they call a banana (yellow on the outside, white on the inside). I was asked at a Sorority convention where I learned English so well. I responded "The missionaries taught me".

vikinglander · June 2017

I was born in Flushing, NYC, and grew up in the Hamptons, on eastern Long Island. I lived in San Francisco from 1978 to 1983. Out there, I knew a guy, Jerry, from Canarsie, in Brooklyn. We had an ongoing argument over whether Brooklyn was on Long Island.

For the record, Long Island is the entire land mass from the East River, which separates it from Manhattan and the Bronx, to Montauk Point at its easternmost end. It includes four NY counties: Kings Co., aka Brooklyn; Queens Co.; Nassau Co.; and Suffolk Co. See map below.

Jerry's position was that one had to cross over water to get from Brooklyn to Long Island. When I asked him to specify which body of water he was referring to, he said, "Paerdegaat Creek!" Look it up!!

What an idiot! (he's dead now, anyway...)

Jimb376mfp · June 2017

"The movie The Poseidon Adventure was based on an actual event."

Said by me circa 1973!

MrStabbems · June 2017

I'm paraphrasing these because I can't remember the exact conversation.

her "You have two esophaguses, one for food one for water"

me "...really. you're serious?"

her "yes, that's what 'it's gone down the wrong way' means"

Those of you that know what I do for my mega moniez will be horrified to know this came from a colleague!

also same lady when discussing general knowledge, I had to probe her after that statement.

me "do you know who killed jesus?"

her "no"

me "I'll give you a clue, famous Italians"

her "the mafia?"

me "yes...the mafia killed jesus."

ShrinkingViolet1982 · June 2017

clh72569 wrote: »

I am a 3rd generation Japanese lady. My grandparents emigrated from Japan. I'm what they call a banana (yellow on the outside, white on the inside). I was asked at a Sorority convention where I learned English so well. I responded "The missionaries taught me".

@clh72569 This made me chuckle. I have a friend who is of Chinese descent, but a couple generations back as well. Born in Canada, her parents born in Canada. She's at my house, and my "I'm so worldly and travelled" niece goes "So, where are you from?" and this lady replies "Canada." My niece, not taking the hint, asks "Yes, but where are you REALLY from?" ... *crickets* from the whole room.

Vikka_V · June 2017

I had someone ask me if I was Polish because I am "tall and small like her neighbour"

Unknown · June 2017

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dc8066 · June 2017

kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »

I can't give you the Pacifics (as in specifics). A grown *kitten* adult.

How about 'uren afection'? And, law school - now's that scary or what?
Anyway, someone I know is a middle school teacher, she spells about the same, 'namonia' (pneumonia) and such

vikinglander · June 2017

I used to work for a major US bank, here in NYC. One of the "Senior Vice Presidents" (who, BTW, started as a teller at age 18...) used to frequently say, "I just can't phantom how that can be true...".

Kill me.

thewindandthework · June 2017

Phantom for fathom? Yikes.

FeraFilia · June 2017

Upon telling someone my husband was in school to be a pastor they said, in all seriousness, "I could not live the rest of my life without sex... Don't you want kids?"

Right up there with the person who accused me of cheating on my husband because I was pregnant.

cwolfman13 · June 2017

I'm on MFP pretty much everyday...so everyday I hear the stupidest thing I've ever heard...

RastaLousGirl · June 2017

My brother once said he was reading an audio book.

JetJaguar · June 2017

ButterballBookworm wrote: »

clh72569 wrote: »

I am a 3rd generation Japanese lady. My grandparents emigrated from Japan. I'm what they call a banana (yellow on the outside, white on the inside). I was asked at a Sorority convention where I learned English so well. I responded "The missionaries taught me".

@clh72569 This made me chuckle. I have a friend who is of Chinese descent, but a couple generations back as well. Born in Canada, her parents born in Canada. She's at my house, and my "I'm so worldly and travelled" niece goes "So, where are you from?" and this lady replies "Canada." My niece, not taking the hint, asks "Yes, but where are you REALLY from?" ... *crickets* from the whole room.

My wife is Asian, and I've seen people ask her the same thing. When they find out her background is Chinese, it's often followed up with something equally cringe-worthy. "Chinese! I love Chinese food! I just had sushi for dinner the other night!"

Unknown · June 2017

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Just_J_Now · June 2017

MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »

JetJaguar wrote: »

ButterballBookworm wrote: »

clh72569 wrote: »

I am a 3rd generation Japanese lady. My grandparents emigrated from Japan. I'm what they call a banana (yellow on the outside, white on the inside). I was asked at a Sorority convention where I learned English so well. I responded "The missionaries taught me".

@clh72569 This made me chuckle. I have a friend who is of Chinese descent, but a couple generations back as well. Born in Canada, her parents born in Canada. She's at my house, and my "I'm so worldly and travelled" niece goes "So, where are you from?" and this lady replies "Canada." My niece, not taking the hint, asks "Yes, but where are you REALLY from?" ... *crickets* from the whole room.

My wife is Asian, and I've seen people ask her the same thing. When they find out her background is Chinese, it's often followed up with something equally cringe-worthy. "Chinese! I love Chinese food! I just had sushi for dinner the other night!"

Im not Asian at all and these are even making me cringe lol

Same here. Some people are SO ignorant. It's like when I say I don't like spicy food and people look at me totally shocked and say "What!!! What Mexican doesn't like spicy food?"

FIRST of all I'm not Mexican, you MORON.
Second, just go away, I can't even entertain stupid.