Gym étiquette question (i.e. am I just being an insensitive idiot?)

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  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    You were totally fine. I am a huge *kitten* so if I was her, and having a bad morning, I might have sighed too. I don't know.
  • wendsg
    wendsg Posts: 662 Member
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    All I can think as I read this thread is "Wow, those of you with space issues would never be able to survive the gyms onboard an aircraft carrier. There's /no/ such thing as a personnel-free bubble. Heh."

    I also believe that OP was completely fine. You two conversed and put it to bed. End of story. No reason to change what you do. :)
  • MelissaPhippsFeagins
    MelissaPhippsFeagins Posts: 8,063 Member
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    wendsg wrote: »
    All I can think as I read this thread is "Wow, those of you with space issues would never be able to survive the gyms onboard an aircraft carrier. There's /no/ such thing as a personnel-free bubble. Heh."

    I also believe that OP was completely fine. You two conversed and put it to bed. End of story. No reason to change what you do. :)

    Thank you for your service. (And, just from having toured one, I know I would have died of claustrophobia within the 1st week of living on any Navy vessel.)
  • WickAndArtoo
    WickAndArtoo Posts: 773 Member
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    I think you were completely fine, it seems super rude and shocking that the woman said something and was even bothered enough to make it "a thing".
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
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    i don't think this story has any real villains in it, personally. maybe i'd take issue with the passive-aggressive way she expressed herself, except i recognize that impulse so well in myself when someone crosses a boundary i'm not 100% sure i'm entitled to have :tongue: so i'd be a hypocrite if i pretended i don't understand where she would have been coming from.

    props to the op for taking such a classy approach, is my main impression. and props to her for updating her context when you explained what was behind your choice of machine.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    edited June 2017
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    ko4q wrote: »
    I'm curious as to whether I have unknowingly crossed some unwritten line about equipment spacing.

    well . . . just to come back to this so i can answer the question you actually asked.

    i guess that i personally do take it sort of for granted that any set of humans in any type of space will distribute themselves more or less evenly within that space. assuming theyr'e all strangers to each other and there's nothing interactive going on, naturally. kind of like i assume we'll just tacitly 'share' whatever space is available among us so that everyone has more or less the same amount of it as everyone else.

    i think it applies more or less everywhere. cars on a road, passengers in a bus or an elevator, people in a public space like a gym. so to answer the question you actually asked: yes, it does kind of stand out to me if i'm in a defined chunk of space and someone else who's also in it ends up somehow 'right next' to me. idk if it's exactly an etiquette thing. it just kind of causes me an internal blink because [to me] it seems to go against all the inherent laws of social physics. it's exactly the same kind of 'what the why' i would feel if you showed me a beaker full of fog and for some reason more of the fog was clustered together in a corner of it. i expect us to distribute ourselves evenly just the same way that molecules do.

    dk if that makes sense. as i said, i think the fact that you did have a specific purpose probably overrides that.

  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    canadianlbs wrote: »
    ko4q wrote: »
    I'm curious as to whether I have unknowingly crossed some unwritten line about equipment spacing.

    well . . . just to come back to this so i can answer the question you actually asked.

    i guess that i personally do take it sort of for granted that any set of humans in any type of space will distribute themselves more or less evenly within that space. assuming theyr'e all strangers to each other and there's nothing interactive going on, naturally. kind of like i assume we'll just tacitly 'share' whatever space is available among us so that everyone has more or less the same amount of it as everyone else.

    i think it applies more or less everywhere. cars on a road, passengers in a bus or an elevator, people in a public space like a gym. so to answer the question you actually asked: yes, it does kind of stand out to me if i'm in a defined chunk of space and someone else who's also in it ends up somehow 'right next' to me. idk if it's exactly an etiquette thing. it just kind of causes me an internal blink because [to me] it seems to go against all the inherent laws of social physics. it's exactly the same kind of 'what the why' i would feel if you showed me a beaker full of fog and for some reason more of the fog was clustered together in a corner of it. i expect us to distribute ourselves evenly just the same way that molecules do.

    dk if that makes sense. as i said, i think the fact that you did have a specific purpose probably overrides that.

    Heh, it's like when I go to the bathrooms at work, all 6 stalls empty, choose the one on the end and the very next person through the door grabs the cubicle next to me. I get irrationally irked at that.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    can we find the thread from the older woman where someone came and of all the empty treadmills, picked the one next to her....!?
  • Mezzie1024
    Mezzie1024 Posts: 380 Member
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    It's rare at my gyms, even in the middle of the night, to have so much emoty space this would be an issue, but if someone took the machine next to me on a relatively empty day, I would assume he had some reason: it's his favorite machine, another one has a maintenance sign... I certainly wouldn't be annoyed. I'm aware of my surroundings enough to know if someone is next to me (usually), but I'm generally in my own world beyond that and couldn't care less if someone were nearby.

    I think you handled yourself very well, considering.
  • motivatedsister
    motivatedsister Posts: 544 Member
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    This thread made me laugh...I thought I was the only one who had these thoughts lol. OP definitely wasn't in the wrong, but I would have felt annoyed like the woman. But I never would have said anything! It's my issue, so to make it about someone else is just rude.

    If the gym is packed I could care less, I know we're all there trying to get it in and leave. But when it's not crowded, and there's ample identical machines to choose from it is soooo annoying when someone hops on the one right next to you! Ugh, it especially bothers me when that person has a strong body odor. I already hate to run and breathing is one of my biggest obstacles while doing it, to have to gasp for air due to some stinky body odor just really throws me off my rhythm lol. And yea I could move, but then I'm always worried that the person next to me will know I'm moving because you stink lol...and plus it's really hard for me to start back running after I stop so I opt to keep moving as best I can.
  • evergreenlake
    evergreenlake Posts: 73 Member
    edited June 2017
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    Sometimes I feel crowded at the gym, but if I want to workout alone, I workout at home or outside. You did nothing wrong, and I think you handled the situation really well!
  • CatchMom11
    CatchMom11 Posts: 462 Member
    edited June 2017
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    besaro wrote: »
    idk, i read a half a dozen threads a week here on MFP about "things that annoy you at the gym" and what you did actually shows up quite often. I never use the treadmills so dont know how annoying this is, but I can tell you when I am at a theater and someone(s) sit right behind me or right near me when there is an entire theater available it does annoy the ef out of me. Sometimes your preferences have to take a backseat to accommodate others. Put the shoe on the other foot.

    Why be annoyed by it? There's a reason that I choose the seats in the theater that I do, so naturally I assume the same for the people choosing seats nearby.

    I apply the same logic to the gym. There are certain treadmills and other cardio equipment that I prefer over others (for whatever reason) so I imagine that the same can be said for others. I can't be the only neurotic freak working out! For instance, there are two stair climbers right next to each other and my BGB and I have tried using the "other's machine" and only last about a minute before we stop and switch. It's weird.

    As for her preferences possibly having to take a backseat to accommodate someone else, they both pay for their membership so they're both entitled to use whatever equipment they want so long as no one else is using it. NOW THAT'S RUDE! Had that happen the other day at my sister's gym. Guy asked in the middle of one of my sets if he could get a set in real quick. Um, let me think about that.... NO.
  • CatchMom11
    CatchMom11 Posts: 462 Member
    edited June 2017
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    ko4q wrote: »
    Thanks all for the comments! I truly didn't realize spacing was such an issue for many. I just feel like if there's a machine open and I want to use it, I'm going to use it no matter what. In this case, I had a very specific reason for using the machine I did, but other times I'd use a piece of equipment that was for example, facing a window instead of a mirror. No difference in the equipment, but I'd much prefer to look outside than watch myself run in a mirror regardless of proximity to another user. Not done to annoy, I guess I'm in my own world, wanting to get the best workout possible--part of which is how comfortable I am on any particular machine.

    I wouldn't worry about it. If someone is that picky about people using the treadmills next to them, then they should cancel their gym membership and buy a treadmill for home use. It's ridiculous and silly in my opinion. Why should anyone think that the world revolves around them so much that they feel the right to get irritated by someone using an OPEN treadmill (regardless if there are others)? If it bothers them that much, they can move. I know how annoying it is to have to stop my machine mid-run, so chances are, they'll be fine.
  • hdrider73
    hdrider73 Posts: 2 Member
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    I will admit that when I am in the gym with tons of empty machines around me, I get annoyed when someone picks the machine right next to me. I've had to run next to many heavy breathers, hard pounding runners, or profusely sweating runners, and that can be really distracting. But, as many have pointed out, you dealt with it well, and the lady apologized. We all have grumpy days.
  • KendraS74
    KendraS74 Posts: 84 Member
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    The equipment is there for a reason. She was in the wrong for her rudeness; you were not.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
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    I would've winked and made kissyfaces. You're a much kinder person than I.
  • Pisc2749
    Pisc2749 Posts: 61 Member
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    CatchMom13 wrote: »
    ko4q wrote: »
    Thanks all for the comments! I truly didn't realize spacing was such an issue for many. I just feel like if there's a machine open and I want to use it, I'm going to use it no matter what. In this case, I had a very specific reason for using the machine I did, but other times I'd use a piece of equipment that was for example, facing a window instead of a mirror. No difference in the equipment, but I'd much prefer to look outside than watch myself run in a mirror regardless of proximity to another user. Not done to annoy, I guess I'm in my own world, wanting to get the best workout possible--part of which is how comfortable I am on any particular machine.

    I wouldn't worry about it. If someone is that picky about people using the treadmills next to them, then they should cancel their gym membership and buy a treadmill for home use. It's ridiculous and silly in my opinion. Why should anyone think that the world revolves around them so much that they feel the right to get irritated by someone using an OPEN treadmill (regardless if there are others)? If it bothers them that much, they can move. I know how annoying it is to have to stop my machine mid-run, so chances are, they'll be fine.

    Everyone has a different comfort level for personal space, it doesn't mean they think the world revolves around them. Bad etiquette is always going to be an issue at the gym - people can smell bad, make unnecessary noises, or let their sweat fly around and not be considerate of others. It's not selfish to prefer having some space.
  • CatchMom11
    CatchMom11 Posts: 462 Member
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    CSARdiver wrote: »
    I would've winked and made kissyfaces. You're a much kinder person than I.

    LMAO!!! You're my people!
  • CatchMom11
    CatchMom11 Posts: 462 Member
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    Pisc2749 wrote: »
    CatchMom13 wrote: »
    ko4q wrote: »
    Thanks all for the comments! I truly didn't realize spacing was such an issue for many. I just feel like if there's a machine open and I want to use it, I'm going to use it no matter what. In this case, I had a very specific reason for using the machine I did, but other times I'd use a piece of equipment that was for example, facing a window instead of a mirror. No difference in the equipment, but I'd much prefer to look outside than watch myself run in a mirror regardless of proximity to another user. Not done to annoy, I guess I'm in my own world, wanting to get the best workout possible--part of which is how comfortable I am on any particular machine.

    I wouldn't worry about it. If someone is that picky about people using the treadmills next to them, then they should cancel their gym membership and buy a treadmill for home use. It's ridiculous and silly in my opinion. Why should anyone think that the world revolves around them so much that they feel the right to get irritated by someone using an OPEN treadmill (regardless if there are others)? If it bothers them that much, they can move. I know how annoying it is to have to stop my machine mid-run, so chances are, they'll be fine.

    Everyone has a different comfort level for personal space, it doesn't mean they think the world revolves around them. Bad etiquette is always going to be an issue at the gym - people can smell bad, make unnecessary noises, or let their sweat fly around and not be considerate of others. It's not selfish to prefer having some space.
    I personally get the whole space thing, I do. I hate when I'm lifting and there's plenty of room along the mirror wall and someone is standing close enough that I can smell their deodorant. It's a treadmill though. You've got your personal space, it's literally built into the equipment. If someone needs more personal space than that though, then perhaps the gym is not for you and that's fine. My thoughts are to either become a strictly outdoor runner or purchase AH equipment if it's truly that big of a deal.

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