Marriage Issue...Thoughts??



  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,592 Member
    nevadavis1 wrote: »
    Marriage is a losing proposition for men. You ARE in fact (not opinion) backing him into a corner if you realize it or not.

    Actually most studies show that married men are healthier and financially better off than single men. Divorced men though... not as healthy or as wealthy. Getting married and staying married IS a winning proposition for men.

    If that is true why is it woman live longer then men ?

    Because the testosterone that makes you stronger also wears you out faster.
  • peckchris3267
    peckchris3267 Posts: 368 Member
    There is also the fact that the family courts tend to favor the mother. Many men are choosing to avoid marriage all together to avoid being put in that position. I can't tell you how many men I know of who have lost everything in a divorce including their children. I got my children but lost all my possessions.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,903 Member

    gothchiq wrote: »
    Husband and I are a team. Had I not found a true teammate, then it would be me and the cats, which is not exactly a death sentence. If you think marriage bl0ws you needn't get married, but trying to poison it for those who are happy is less than a positive thing to do.

    Agreed. I'm sort of getting the impression that, while I haven't yet taken our children and all of my husband's earthly possessions and swindled them away from him in court, it's only a matter of time according to some people here. :confounded: All marriages do not end that way.
  • take2spicy
    take2spicy Posts: 296 Member
    Sorry hun...I think waiting while you clean up your credit is a great idea that way you can enter the marriage without it hanging over either of your heads. My situation is I was married first & bought the house in my name only and now I pay for it. He was over extended at the time with flip properties & we had a small child. There is a fair amount of resentment on my part because I pay for it..he isn't attached emotionally invested or otherwise. So you see if you don't do it together even if one "says" it's OK at the time it's a huge commitment and there can be a host of problems that can come up later if you can't communicate the deal. Think long & hard before making a decision. Best advice I have. Finances can destroy a relationship if you can't look to the future & agree & stick to a plan. Marriage & finances are both like "deals" you are making. Your kids having a place to live whether a rental or your own home comes before the fiance so you are smart to be thinking of that. Good luck to you.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,592 Member
    Also, just FYI: I'm the main breadwinner and we don't have kids. I think it would be difficult to convince my husband (who didn't want kids either, by the way) that this situation is no good for him. :P lol
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,257 Member
    gothchiq wrote: »
    People, this is getting silly, in my humble opinion. I watched the Red Pill documentary. I listen to arguments from both sides. The truth, as usual, lies in the middle. Embittered men and embittered women are all over the place and I'm sorry that mess happened to you but it really doesn't make sense to assume that the whole world of married people share your experience, or will if they just wait long enough. Life is much more complicated than that. I support men's rights. I support women's rights. Either we can work together for mutual benefit or we can continue this no-benefit battle of the sexes until everyone has a heart attack.

    Husband and I are a team. Had I not found a true teammate, then it would be me and the cats, which is not exactly a death sentence. If you think marriage bl0ws you needn't get married, but trying to poison it for those who are happy is less than a positive thing to do.

  • clicketykeys
    clicketykeys Posts: 5,989 Member
    Why get married at all? There is more liability to marriage than benefits.

    Depends on the kind of person you marry... and the kind of person you ARE.
    It has nothing to do with that. Marriage is a financial liability.
    One example; my daughter starts college in the fall. Since I am a single father with full custody of my two daughters, financial aid is based solely upon my income. If I married my girlfriend her income would be added to the equation and I would get less financial aid so either I would have to pay more for my daughters college of my girlfriend would have to pay also even though they aren't her children.
    Since my ex wife isn't the custodial parent she was free to re marry without consequence. ( my ex also refuses to help pay for our daughters college and legally doesn't have to).

    That is just one of the many liabilities to marriage.

    I'll definitely agree that marriage is a financial liability - though in this case it could be argued that raising children is the liability more so than the marriage. Where I disagreed was that the liability was greater than the benefits. I was quite happy to be single. I enjoyed it. And when I met someone I also enjoyed being with, I weighed the possible advantages and disadvantages, and decided that the benefits more than compensated for the risk.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,459 Member
    Hitler got married and was dead in less than 24 hours.

    The Russians, British and American armies combined couldn't take him out, but Eva Braun accomplished it in less than a day.

    .... what more proof do you need?