Tattoo: Would you tell your S/O?
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If he is your husband and cares about your opinion and wants, then after a carefully planned discussion about the significance of the tattoo you want to get, he should be at least able to understand. He may not like it but he should be able to respect your decisions. As long as you CAREFULLY planned it out, it has a long term significant meaning, is done by a legit place, and explained to him beforehand, it should be fine. I don't understand why a wife would hide something like that from her husband. I wouldn't hide a thing from my boyfriend. I wouldn't want him to hide things from me. It's reciprocity and respect.
No offense to your relationship, just saying...
This.0 -
The important questions is: Is the tattoo of bacon? If so, he will love it. Nobody, and I mean nobody, can hate anything with bacon.0
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i can't believe this is that big of a deal.
is your husband really going to think you revealed yourself as being trashy if you get one? i fail to see the logic behind this thought anyway, but assuming he knows you and loves you, it would be difficult to comprehend that this would change his opinion.
i would still tell him ahead of time, because it's respectful to do so.0 -
Well, my only question is, why would you want to hide it from your husband "until it's too late" ? You're an adult. What you decide to do is ultimately your decision either way but I would highly encourage you to take the adult road and talk with your husband rather than be a teenager and do it behind his back. Just a thought.0
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I have several tattoos, so I'm not tattoo snob.
I am also married to someone whose not a big fan of tattoos. He seems tolerant of the ones I have (that I got before I met him), but wouldn't be happy if I suggested getting another. But I don't want another, so I married him knowing he doesn't like them because it didn't matter, I wasn't getting anymore.
I guess my question is, did you know he didn't like tattoos when you married him? Because it's kind of unfair for you to marry him knowing that and then decide you don't care what he thinks, you're getting one anyway.
I'd like to think if I sat my husband down and gave him a sincere explanation why an additional tattoo was desired (to commemorate something significant, for example), he'd contemplate it and we'd come to some compromise (perhaps if I wanted it on my arm, maybe he'd be okay with me putting it on my hip instead where it's less visible, or something like that).
I would never just go and get one, knowing full well he hates them. That's pretty much just sticking your middle finger up at him and saying 'I don't give a cr@p what you think'. And if that is where you are coming from, then I'd say tattooing is the least of your problems....0 -
I'm with you on this doowop713! My wife or I don't have any Tattoos but if it were something that she really wanted, had a significant meaning, and was reasonably discrete (no face tat) I would be okay with it.0
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I do what I want. So I'd get one.
Good luck in your decision....and please post a pic if you do get one! :flowerforyou:0 -
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Don't do it. Looking at your tracker, I see you have over 40 lbs to lose. Your tattoo will look different once you lose it all. Why don't you wait until you are in your goal shape, then do body mods? Also, tell your husband.0
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My husbad is not the biggest fan of them on women either, but I basically told him I was getting one. He wasn't thrilled with the idea. When I went ahead and got it last year, he was mad I didn't tell him because he said he would have went with me! haha! We're getting bands tattooed on our ring fingers this August for our 17th anniversay, and I am currently in the process of designing my next tattoo, and have already desingned a mother/daughter tattoo that I will be going to get with my daughter when we can afford it!0
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My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
I would have agreed with you. Her next husband probably WILL like it. Holy hell, I can't imagine being married to someone that controlling.0 -
Another hubby's point of view. I have tats and if my wife wants one, go for it.0
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My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
Wow...really? Way to be just a little bit over controlling there.
It's your body. You own it. He doesn't. What you do with YOUR body is your decision. I would let him know because you do share a life with him, but if you feel like you need "seek permission" then I think there might be deeper issues than just a tattoo0 -
I don't think tattoo's are trashy
I mean, my tramp stamp brings all the nice boys to my yard
Seriously
It brought ME to your yard! :bigsmile:0 -
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls got a tattoo on the wrist
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the tattoo's found,
And your man kicks you out of town....0 -
I'd book a divorce lawyer or a marriage counselor along with that tattoo appointment. You might need one or the other. If I was hubby I'd go for divorce - lying and deceit seem like a much bigger deal than the tattoo itself.0
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Wow. You controlled your wife. What a great husband. Your "mutual respect" is a guise for control. Good luck with that.0
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I would tell your husband now and get the fight over with, if you're that determined to get a tat, cus there's gonna be a fight either way.0
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My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
You would divorce your wife over her getting a small tattoo?
ANSWER - She never got it so she was not willing to find out.
Good deal that you can put fear into your wife...
It is a mutual thing. I would not do what she was strongly against.0 -
I don't think lying to him or showing up with it already done is the answer. Maybe I'm biased because I happen to agree that tattoos are trashy, but I think if he has a serious aversion to you getting a tattoo and he's your HUSBAND, you should at least compromise on the matter. Get it on your hip, your back, your stomach, somewhere so that when he takes you to a fancy restaurant and you're wearing a spaghetti-strap dress, no one can see it.
If he was just your boyfriend of 6 months, then that would be a different story, but this is your HUSBAND we're talking about here.
If my fiance (been with him almost 11 years) all of a sudden showed up with a tattoo that he didn't tell me about beforehand, I'd wonder what else he's keeping from me, or will keep from me in the future.0 -
I have two tattoos - one on my back so not visible unless in a swimsuit or naked; and one on my wrist. So clearly visible if I am wearing short sleeves. I met my boyfriend at work and despite his deep hatred for tattoos, he 1) never even noticed my wrist tattoo until I physically pointed it out to him; and 2) started dating me anyway. My tattoos are not the sum total of my person. They are something that I did a few years ago because I wanted them. Do I want more? No. But even if I did want more, I know my boyfriend wouldnt like it, but he wouldnt tell me not to, and he wouldnt break up with me because of it. I'm an adult and so is he. And we can have these adult conversations.
I wouldnt outright surprise your husband with a tattoo, knowing how much he doesnt like them. You can have an adult conversation with him. But you should also take into account both of your feelings - not solely yours and not solely his. I think in any relationships there has to be a balance, no matter what the disagreement is about.0 -
If you want a tattoo, just tell him.
Communication is key.
Also, it's your body. Do what you want.0 -
I'd book a divorce lawyer or a marriage counselor along with that tattoo appointment. You might need one or the other. If I was hubby I'd go for divorce - lying and deceit seem like a much bigger deal than the tattoo itself.
This is a FACT0 -
The important questions is: Is the tattoo of bacon? If so, he will love it. Nobody, and I mean nobody, can hate anything with bacon.
lol, no unfortunately not bacon hehehe.0 -
My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
WOW! You would divorce your wife of 34 years to a tattoo :noway: That's "real" love!0 -
If you are gonna get it no matter what he says I would say its better just to have the fight after you have it then loads before and after. And you never know he may like it on you and realise that not all tattoos are trashy, however he may hit the roof and you can't take it back lol
I got my first tattoo behind my bf (at the times) back as he told me he would leave if I got one. I figured I would rather have the tat then a bf who thinks he has the right to tell me what to have on my body. He didn't leave and actually went and got one himself a cpl of weeks later.0 -
If he thinks tattoos are trashy and you are planning to get quite an obvious one, won't he then feel embarrassed being seen with you? I'd have thought that could break a relationship. Definitely something that at least warrants a discussion I think.0
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tattoos are not trashy. i cant wait to get like a gazillion more. However, sounds like your husbands an *kitten*. Its your body, do what you want with it, just be prepared for the effects it could have on your marriage.0
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Damn its a tattoo not like you went and slept with an entire football team or something.
People need to get their head out of the *kitten*. As long as the tattoo wasn't offensive or like on the face I wouldn't care. It's my wife the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. Would I make fun of her if it turned out funny hell yea, would I let her cry on my shoulder if she decided she didn't want it hell yea, would I support her because she was my wife...well hell yea.
OH and my wife wouldn't have to hide it from me because I'd want to go with her and possibly get one as well. Communication is key and it's a partnership. Just talk about it, I'm sure there is some middle ground.0 -
BAAAAAAAAAAAD idea, seriously.
Tell him, have the fight, and talk it out. Is his only reason because they are trashy? Don't deceive your husband.0
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