Tattoo: Would you tell your S/O?
Replies
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My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
I would have agreed with you. Her next husband probably WILL like it. Holy hell, I can't imagine being married to someone that controlling.
Controlling??? Not at all. She was free to get the tattoo if she wanted, I never said she couldn't0 -
Just do it! I have several tattoo's, I have never been called trashy. It is your body! My husband actually does my tattoo's, but if he was against them, I mean strongly against it. I would talk to him and explain how bad I want it. If he still was being pig headed, I would just do it. My body is mine, I just let him borrow it a few times a week. And now I am ready to be called trashy on here. lol
If you are getting a arm piece try to make sure it is still feminine. I have butterflies on one arm and humming birds on the other. I always get compliments on how nice they look.
Good luck and welcome to the tattoo addiction.0 -
as someone who is tattooed, I found that involving my husband in the whole process really helped. talking to him about it, going over designs, the placement of said tattoo, artists and studios. It took the trashy factor out of the whole thing and brought in an art-type vibe to the whole thing for him. he understood the why's of my wanting a tattoo(s) better after that. just be super honest in what you want and really listen to what he thinks about it too, then maybe compromise on the placement or the size... I think getting it done without him knowing would open up a huge can of worms! and possibly cause major problems.
good luck and be warned once you get one you'll want more...
I really like the idea of involving hubby. Who knows, he might end up with one himself?0 -
My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
You would divorce your wife over her getting a small tattoo?
ANSWER - She never got it so she was not willing to find out.
Good deal that you can put fear into your wife...
It is a mutual thing. I would not do what she was strongly against.
lol
You don't get it...
You basically threaten divorce if your wife gets a tattoo?
I hope she gets it, for her sake.
+1. I love how everyone rushes to the "d" word on here so quickly.
inorite?
there's : Hey honey, I strongly disagree with this and would really love it if you didn't do this to your body, would you consider my feelings on it and please not get a tattoo...
then there's:
Hey honey, I like threatening you and keeping you in line with fear so i'm going to imply that i'm willing to throw 34 years down the drain of you living with ME so you don't do something like this...
awesome...just awesome..0 -
If tattoos are trashy then someone needs to carry my *kitten* to the curb.
ETA: it's your body and opinions are like *kitten* . . . everyone has one.
I shall sit on that curb with you! :flowerforyou:0 -
My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
I hope she and her next husband are happy...
Ha ha!
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MAKE HIM A DEAL , WHAT EVER TAT YOU GET LET HIM GET A DRIMMAL AND PUT THE SAME PIC ON THE DOORS OF YOUR NEXT NEW CAR/TRUCK !0
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My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
I would pack your bags for you. Mutual respect is a two way street, bro.0 -
My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
I hope she and her next husband are happy...
lol................... 34 years and still married
All your mfp friends are mostly hot chicks. You look like a creeper old man.0 -
I'd tell him. I'd also tell him that it is your decision to do with your body as you see fit.
The day my husband tells me I'm not allowed to do something (obviously not cheating, or along those lines), is the day he can kiss my *kitten*.
We make compromises, we make things work. (I have 6 tattoos - profile pic is my newest from Friday - he has 2 - one is a progressing arm piece. So no arguments here!)
I remember a friend telling me that her boyfriend didn't let her wear makeup and she couldn't wear any type of tight clothing - had to be baggy tshirts and jeans. Red flags!! She had to ask permission to wear a dress and makeup to a wedding. Hell. No. Not in my lifetime!0 -
My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
Did you ever find out if he does like it?
She actually is still married to sweet loving me.0 -
A few months back I got a tattoo.. on my wrist.
Hubby and I had discussed it multiple times and while he seemed a bit whishy washy on it he ultimately told me to get it if that was what I wanted.
I did and he LOST it. Told me if I had it when we met we would never have been together ect ect.
Anyway - I wouldn't have been able to deal with it (the fighting and *****ing) if we hadnt talked before hand. I think its the best way to approach any major permanent decision in ones life.0 -
My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
Wow. Sucks to be her.
OP, just talk to him about it. My hubs isn't a fan of them, either. But I have a desire to get a huge piece that goes from my upper back, shoulder, and slightly down my arm. He may not like them, but he respects that it's my body.0 -
Bottom line, if you want a tattoo, then go get a damned tattoo.
That being said...
How upset would you be if your husband went out and did something that he was perfectly free to do, but you had told him that you really didn't want him to do?0 -
I went through something some what similar. For my Birthday one year I wanted my tounge pierced. I had mentioned it to DH, but his response was not supportive in the matter. He said if I got it done that he would not kiss me anymore. After arguing about it, I let him sit on it for a few months. I then brought it up again, and still he had said he would be upset, and that he would not kiss me.
I then had explained my reasons for wanting it, and that it was not to be rude, or disrespectful to him in anyway. I again gave him a few days to think about it.
On my Birthday, I told him that I had an appointment to get it done. He seemed upset, and started trying to talk me out of it again. I simply told him that there was no way he was going to talk me out of it. It wasn't something I had decided to do over night, and I was not asking his permission. He could either come with me to get it done, or I would go with my friend.
He went with me, my friend, and her husband. He waited outside with my friends husband, and he paid for it when it was over with. He only with held his kisses for a few weeks, and then he decided he liked it. (-;
I would definitely talk to him about it, and then go from there. Good luck, and enjoy your new tattoo.0 -
My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
I hope she and her next husband are happy...
lol................... 34 years and still married
I guess I'm the only one who thought the comment was funny.
Waaaay too many sensitive people here.
I thought it was funny, too. I'm sure he said it in a half-joking tone of voice and I'm sure that after 34 years, they have the kind of relationship where jokes like that are acceptable and commonplace. My fiance and I (together almost 11 years) can joke about one of us "leaving" or "kicking out" the other person and neither of us think it's serious business.0 -
My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
I would have replied with " I will visit your grave every Saturday. I am sure my tattoo will look beautiful from six feet under."
Cause if the "d" word comes out in my marriage, I bring out the other "d" word. :bigsmile:0 -
I didn't read all the replys so if this was said/asked I apologize.
Is the money that you will be using to pay for said tattoo out of a joint account or his money (as in he is the one that works and you are the SAH partner)? If it is than you might want to tell him out of repsect, I would be pissed if someone used money out of a joint account for a tattoo that I didn't agree with.
Is there a reason he believes they are trashy? Is it a placement thing? or is he just old school in his thinking?
Talk to him, seriously you don't need his permission but communication is key in any relationship.0 -
My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
You would divorce your wife over her getting a small tattoo?
what if it was another man's name?
Yeah, that would be a kicker!
Anyway, if this is something you care so deeply about, maybe you should sit down with him and tell him your decision. Show him what you want and explain why you want it. Start the conversation with a demand that he sit and listen until you're done and then he can put forward his points. If he says he thinks its trashy, tell him you disagree. If he has other valid arguments, listen to them and talk through them.
If you run off and do something you want behind his back, he's going to wonder what other things you hide from him. Trust is not something to mess with (regardless of how long you're been together).
He might not like the idea, but at least you were upfront with him.0 -
After reading the responses from one particular poster here makes me appreciate my DH so much. He has NEVER told me what I couldn't do, nor threatened me if I didn't acquiesce to him.0
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If tattoos are trashy then someone needs to carry my *kitten* to the curb.
ETA: it's your body and opinions are like *kitten* . . . everyone has one.
Amen! My husband is not keen on me getting one either. However, If I so choose to get one I will. However, I would respect him. No matter his **** and whining, he is your husband, and you should discuss this with him prior to doing it. He may have some valid opinions that may change your view on it. However, I am my own person, and If I weigh all my options, and still choose to get the tattoo, my husband would respect my decision.0 -
My hubby doen't really care for tattoos, he thinks they are trashy. I don't have any, but not because I think they're trashy -- because I was scared to get one BECAUSE other people think they're trashy, and also the pain of getting one. I've decided I don't give a crap what other people think about it, I want to get one because I alwayy have wanted to. I KNOW if I tell my husband it will be a fight and he'll be a total d i c k about it. I have an appointment booked to get a not-that-discreet arm tattoo and I don't plan on telling him until it's too late. I'm thinking this is going to go the same way naming your baby an ugly name will go. Tell people in advance and they will have an opinion, tell people with your kid in your arms and "he's beautiful!" Am I deluding myself? I just don't want to hear him ***** and moan up until the day I get it done. Thoughts?
There are more important issues here than getting a tattoo.
Bingo.
My husband and I have quite a few each so I can't say you shouldn't... but you are in a partnership and you both need to respect each others wishes.
Perhaps there is a compromise, maybe if he has some input into what you get and where.
Either way, your Life, your choice. Whatever happens, just make sure it's worth it.0 -
i think it could go both ways, but i tend to agree that on the principle of respect, this is too big a deal to do without his "consent" whether he is grumpy about it or not....i mean, would you want him to do something you were absolutely against?
I personally think that successful relationships involve the following decision making process (most of the time anyway), decide to do something based on:
#1 how strongly each person cares about the issue and why. If it's simply personal preference for him and you feel that you so strongly want a tattoo because it means XX to you....i would hope he would consent....and likewise, if you just want one cause they are cute and he has a major aversion due to some bad experience, etc...perhaps you should wait, or see if there is a placement or design that isn't so objectionable to him
#2 for the relationship - sometimes it isn't easy to identify to whom an issue matters more...in which case you decide for the relationship - will it continue to cause friction, will the other feel betrayed, uncared about etc...perhaps then you make a decision just to keep the peace. This can't work in all issues of course, but it does work oftentimes and down the road of course, things may change....
That said....tell your husband. Even though i love tattoos and have a few, it is a permanent decision. I would be ticked if my non-tattooed spouse went out and got one...heck i'd be hurt not only because it was against my wishes (in your case i mean) but also because if my spouse were really really really gonna do it, i would want to be included in the decision making process....
I kinda feel the same about cheating...you don't do it first and then confess...you be a strong enough person that if you are feeling the inclination you talk to your spouse about it beforehand....uncomfortable yes...but respectful and the decent thing to do when a decision affects both people, etc...0 -
I didn't read all the replys so if this was said/asked I apologize.
Is the money that you will be using to pay for said tattoo out of a joint account or his money (as in he is the one that works and you are the SAH partner)? If it is than you might want to tell him out of repsect, I would be pissed if someone used money out of a joint account for a tattoo that I didn't agree with.
Is there a reason he believes they are trashy? Is it a placement thing? or is he just old school in his thinking?
Talk to him, seriously you don't need his permission but communication is key in any relationship.
I'm not enturely sure why he sees them as trashy, I've just heard him say it before. I think it's because of his old school judgmental Italian upbringing to be honest.0 -
My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
I hope she and her next husband are happy...
lol................... 34 years and still married
I guess I'm the only one who thought the comment was funny.
Waaaay too many sensitive people here.
I thought it was funny, too. I'm sure he said it in a half-joking tone of voice and I'm sure that after 34 years, they have the kind of relationship where jokes like that are acceptable and commonplace. My fiance and I (together almost 11 years) can joke about one of us "leaving" or "kicking out" the other person and neither of us think it's serious business.
People are just so quick to jump in chests puffed out and righteous swords drawn when someone makes an offhanded comment like that. My husband and I are the same way. It's kind of nice to have a fun relationship where joking is permitted.0 -
My husband dislikes tattoo's. I don't currently have any, mostly because I just never had the money...was always paying for something that seemed more important at the time. There are 3 that I want that I have wanted since I was a teenager, and will get at some point. I would def tell my hubby when I go to get the first one, but as someone mentioned, what he does with that info is up to him, it won't change my mind. We have talked about it and he says he prefers I don't, but that he will still love me if I do. So out of that mutual respect I wouldn't try and hide from him until its too late, that seems like a pretty drama queen way to start a fight, I will tell him "hey next week I am going to get it done" and end the conversation as quick as possible.0
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After reading the responses from one particular poster here makes me appreciate my DH so much. He has NEVER told me what I couldn't do, nor threatened me if I didn't acquiesce to him.
Or throw divorce in your face if you don't comply... :drinker: Cheers to amazing hubbies! 0 -
I have tattoos (all where I can cover them). If my husband was against it, I probably would have thought more about it. He has one. Too many tattoos are not pleasing to the eye. My husband and I are equal. We discuss what we like and dislike. I think it would cause more issues if you did it without telling him. Of course, only you know what the outcome will probably be!0
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I'd try to reach a compromise. Maybe a less obvious tattoo in a less visible place.
My husband likes them and I have four and want more. But I wouldn't get one without talking it over with him. We discuss the designs. He makes suggestions and I draw them.0 -
Just break up. You shouldn't keep secrets from your spouse. And if your spouse expresses that they don't want you to do something, you don't go and do it behind their back. That takes it from being an argument over a tattoo to an argument over judgement, respect and trust.
I don't care if he is being unreasonable - put on your big girl panties and tell him you want a tattoo. Talk, argue, whatever, then decide whether or not you'll do it and tell him.0
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