Tattoo: Would you tell your S/O?
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sounds like the key to a successful marriage
I hear the sarcasm!! :-)0 -
Amen to this ^^^I'd tell him. I'd also tell him that it is your decision to do with your body as you see fit.
The day my husband tells me I'm not allowed to do something (obviously not cheating, or along those lines), is the day he can kiss my *kitten*.
We make compromises, we make things work. (I have 6 tattoos - profile pic is my newest from Friday - he has 2 - one is a progressing arm piece. So no arguments here!)
I remember a friend telling me that her boyfriend didn't let her wear makeup and she couldn't wear any type of tight clothing - had to be baggy tshirts and jeans. Red flags!! She had to ask permission to wear a dress and makeup to a wedding. Hell. No. Not in my lifetime!
Husbands and boyfriends are different. Tattoos and clothes are different.
Your HUSBAND has a right to an opinion about you making PERMANENT changes to your body, as you have the right to an opinion about him doing the same. It's not about asking for permission like a child wanting to stay out past curfew. It's about having enough respect for him and your marriage to at least listen to how he feels before you do something drastic. If you don't want to give him that respect, you shouldn't have married him.0 -
I'm not sure what direction to go here.. Mainly due to my mood right now. My husband is not very supportive of my weight and has often used my weight gain against me in disagreements. I am a recovering addict and since I got clean, I gained a lot of weight. He has the metabolism of a hummingbird and can eat to his heart's desire. He has often said that he was embarrassed to be seen with me in public and etc... So this year I really started to focus on me and my health. Not for him finally, but for me. Also, I decided to do something that was permanent to my body.. I have a LARGE tattoo that I have been working on since March. My thoughts, if he can't accept me through the things I can change, is he willing to accept me through something I cannot... Now just to be clear, he knew that I was getting a tattoo.. He just didn't know I was going to make it a project:laugh:
I am by no means condoning my behaviour or saying what I am doing is healthy.. but this is my body and I will treat it in a way that I want to.. With or without his permission. You're husband needs to open his eyes and see your accomplishments!
You rock on! Im proud of you for losing weight for yourself and even more proud that you are a recovering addict. You're husband needs to open his eyes and see your accomplishments!
Thank you very much! :flowerforyou: Don't normally dump my dirty laundry on the front yard, but needed a bit of a venting session as this was recently a topic in my house.0 -
I'm not sure what direction to go here.. Mainly due to my mood right now. My husband is not very supportive of my weight and has often used my weight gain against me in disagreements. I am a recovering addict and since I got clean, I gained a lot of weight. He has the metabolism of a hummingbird and can eat to his heart's desire. He has often said that he was embarrassed to be seen with me in public and etc... So this year I really started to focus on me and my health. Not for him finally, but for me. Also, I decided to do something that was permanent to my body.. I have a LARGE tattoo that I have been working on since March. My thoughts, if he can't accept me through the things I can change, is he willing to accept me through something I cannot... Now just to be clear, he knew that I was getting a tattoo.. He just didn't know I was going to make it a project:laugh:
I am by no means condoning my behaviour or saying what I am doing is healthy.. but this is my body and I will treat it in a way that I want to.. With or without his permission.
Congrats on your sobriety. If he would rather you using than healthy and overweight, he may need to reevaluate his priorities. :noway:
This is my Gaelic serenity prayer tattoo
To the OP: It sounds like a slap in the face to your hubby. Not just getting a tattoo when you know how he feels, but a "conspicuous" one where he and everyone else will see it regularly on your arm.
Thank you for feedback and I love your tattoo.. I have pics of mine on my profile... I haven't taken the time to learn how to post pictures on here yet..
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I never cared for tattoos, not that I think their trashy. My husband wanted one - I protested, he showed me the artwork and it was my name
He has the tattoo now and I love it :laugh: 0 -
My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
This guy is a ****, first of all. Second of all, you're both adults. You don't need his permission, and he doesn't need to be childish about it.
Third of all, he'll probably never trust you again, and I honestly wouldn't blame him. Don't sneak and do things behind your husband's back.
First of all, show me where the word "permission" was used in my post. Second of all, as previously stated in a reply, I never said she had to do or could not do anything. Third, there is absolutely nothing childish about stating your position, THAT is being an adult,0 -
You should tell him. I was newly 18 and living with my parents when I got my first tattoo, and told them I was doing it, and they weren't happy but also couldn't stop me! All my tat's have really grown on them since. It's your life, but it would also be kind to inform your hubby.0
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My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
Haha you know if i were your wife i would have walked right out that door. Way to force your beliefs onto her.0 -
My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
This guy is a ****, first of all. Second of all, you're both adults. You don't need his permission, and he doesn't need to be childish about it.
Third of all, he'll probably never trust you again, and I honestly wouldn't blame him. Don't sneak and do things behind your husband's back.
First of all, show me where the word "permission" was used in my post. Second of all, as previously stated in a reply, I never said she had to do or could not do anything. Third, there is absolutely nothing childish about stating your position, THAT is being an adult,
First of all being an "adult" isnt giving your wife an altimatum being an "adult" is saying "well hunny it isnt particulary my cup of tea but if its what YOU want i support your decision." Your being childish, close minded, and forceful.0 -
I'd just do it. My dad thinks they are trashy - "especially on women" - and I am saving up for the artist I want. I don't care. He'll see it one day and get over it.0
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sounds like the key to a successful marriage
Says the DB with a wife and a girlfriend according to your other post....0 -
I need to remember that defense if I ever get married. It's my body and you have no right to tell me who and who not I'm allowed to put my body parts into!0
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love my tats.. and good for my husband does too.
sounds like a dicey situation that hes really against it.. and you really want it.. what do you do? its your body really and its too bad that he doesnt let you do what you want with it. seeing as body mods are a nearly harmless ( next to drug use, smoking,. tanning, etc..) form of consumerism.. *shrugs*0 -
Your arm? Your choice. hope you love it0
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sounds like the key to a successful marriage
Says the DB with a wife and a girlfriend according to your other post....
Aww, someone took you seriously on that post.
That's cute.0 -
that may have been something called 'humour'.sounds like the key to a successful marriage
Says the DB with a wife and a girlfriend according to your other post....0 -
Who knows... Taking bold steps like that to define your individuality may bring out your "Inner-Sexy"... Be confident honey. Stay confident, sooner or later he will see your strength, then WATCH-OUT! Sparks may fly and your relationship may just get really hot!0
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sounds like the key to a successful marriage
Says the DB with a wife and a girlfriend according to your other post....
Aww, someone took you seriously on that post?
That's cute.
haha... actually I'm the one who called out troll on the other post.... just wanted to call it out again for fun0 -
'Nobody loves me, everybody hates meMy thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
This guy is a ****, first of all. Second of all, you're both adults. You don't need his permission, and he doesn't need to be childish about it.
Third of all, he'll probably never trust you again, and I honestly wouldn't blame him. Don't sneak and do things behind your husband's back.
First of all, show me where the word "permission" was used in my post. Second of all, as previously stated in a reply, I never said she had to do or could not do anything. Third, there is absolutely nothing childish about stating your position, THAT is being an adult,
Think I'll go and eat worms
Long ones, short ones, fat ones, thin ones
See how they wriggle and squirm''0 -
My fiance was completely against me getting a dermal in my chest. He thought it would be ugly. I informed him that I was getting it. I came home, he saw it, sneered a couple of times, and now doesn't even see it. If he does see it, he doesn't say anything. I could give a *kitten* what he thinks about my body and what I do with it. It's my body, and he has enough respect to know that. Just like I could give a rat's butt what he does to his body, I love him anyways. If I had to go around hiding everything from my fiance, I'd feel like I was living with my mother.0
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Glad to see your going to tell him, i wouldnt want to go against my significant others wishes without at least stating to them why i wish to do something they dont want me to do. However i would like to remind you this may break you two up, if he is stubburn and close minded he may leave. At that point its for YOU to decide if its worth it or not.0
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sounds like the key to a successful marriage
Says the DB with a wife and a girlfriend according to your other post....
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Your body, your choice. If he doesn't like it, it's not his place to tell you what you can and cannot put on your body. Get it and if he acts like a prick about it, tell him to keep his pig-headed and ignorant opinions to himself.
Tattoos can be painful, but the amount of pain does depend on where you get it. I have one in between my shoulderblades. It hurt a lot and now I regret it because I got it from one of my exes, about a couple of weeks before he dumped me. I think he did it bad on purpose. Can't wait to save up money to get it covered.0 -
I would tell him that you really want one and are going to get one, but may be willing to compromise on size, placement, image...etc. Marriage is about compromise. Surprising him with something he hates, particularly if you are going to lie about where you are going, is just a recipe for disaster. If you can't stand his attitude, leave.0
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I've got 9. LOVE tattoos! Got both of my wrists done in the last few years. My husband doesn't want one, but he's never been un-supportive of mine. That being said, I do talk to him first. We are a team (and there is no "I" in team - cheesy, I know, but true). Also, we have joint accounts. Tattoos can be expensive and we run large purchases by each other. Then there is the whole "Do unto others..."
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My fiance was completely against me getting a dermal in my chest. He thought it would be ugly. I informed him that I was getting it. I came home, he saw it, sneered a couple of times, and now doesn't even see it. If he does see it, he doesn't say anything. I could give a *kitten* what he thinks about my body and what I do with it. It's my body, and he has enough respect to know that. Just like I could give a rat's butt what he does to his body, I love him anyways. If I had to go around hiding everything from my fiance, I'd feel like I was living with my mother.
Took me 4 years to decide not to get a side corset piercing so i feel ya 0 -
My thoughts:
Well from the "hubby's" point of view, I have to totally agree with HIM. When my wife mentioned the possibility of getting a small tattoo I told her that it would be fine, her next husband would probably like it. No argument, no further conversation was needed.
I hope she and her next husband are happy...
lol................... 34 years and still married
All your mfp friends are mostly hot chicks. You look like a creeper old man.
This gentleman, and I use the term loosely, is obviously from a very different generation in which the man has the final say. Most women now would never put up with that however, his wife must be willing to accept it and live with it. To each their own.0 -
It was like that when i wanted to get my nose pierced. I always wanted a nose piercing ever since i was a teenager my parents refused to let me get it done. Then i got married and my husband thought it looked unprofessional. i would get resistance from work etc....
When i turned 40 i said screw everyone I am going to get it done. I didnt tell my husband. It was the most liberating, painful but exhilarating experience.
So i say go for it!!!0 -
I've always admired good tattoos. I think they can be really beautiful when done well - even sleeves, and more extreme styles. I may decide to get one when I've met my goal weight. I'm super needle-phobic, but I might be able to do it...
As for telling my hubby... I'd discuss it with him & get his opinion. I can imagine he would not love it as he doesn't have any tattoos himself. However, I will do it if I want to do it because it's my body, and I suspect he'll be okay with it.
It sounds to me like you've discussed it previously - or you already know he would not like it, or would even be upset about it. I'd at least be up front about it & tell him you're getting it done. This isn't one of those situations where it's better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission...0 -
I'd book a divorce lawyer or a marriage counselor along with that tattoo appointment. You might need one or the other. If I was hubby I'd go for divorce - lying and deceit seem like a much bigger deal than the tattoo itself.
This is a FACT
All I really have to say to you, other than your controlling nature makes me so glad I can choose a mate, is that you shouldn't put your children's and their children's names on your profile since you listed your last name on there as well. If someone wanted to stalk them, steal their identity, etc... you just gave them the perfect opportunity. Way to go.0
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