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Does your doctor comment on your weight?
Replies
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My GP never mentioned my weight. I've been overweight my whole life, and dipped into "obese" in college. I'd love to work my way back to "overweight". Maybe I needed someone who had my best interests at heart to tell me I should take charge of my health.2
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When I was heavier my doctor would once in a while mention it but never anything offensive or overbearing.
Now that I’ve lost the weight he doesn’t mention anything in regards to weight anymore so that’s nice lol1 -
The only time I've gotten a comment like that was at one point during my twin pregnancy when I was told "You don't need to be gaining quite so fast." However, there weren't fully agreed upon weight gain guidelines for twin pregnancy and I was within the parameters for the guidelines I was following. (At that point I was seeing different drs within the practice.) I ended up having healthy full term twins so I was happy.
Outside of that, I'm 5'7" and the most I've weighed outside of pregnancy was 161. My body fat percentage has been relatively high given my build, but I haven't gotten any other negative weight comments from a dr. Though one offensive "compliment" I got was from an urgent care dr who smirked, "Oh, you have PCOS? I doubt that. Most women with PCOS are ... porky." Asshat.2 -
Yes.
In a gentle supportive way he explained that extra weight would further impact my health and got me involved with an excellent Dietician who specialises in auto-immunity disease.
Before MFP I lost 20kgs by myself and each time I have appointments, both are very complimentary and encouraging.
Honestly it has been motivating and I am grateful my GP was honest and caring enough to say something.
I am in Australia.
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My Dr is very straightforward with me and as an ER nurse I expect him to be. Some of the things he has said to me are: " you need to push away from the table sooner" "since you weren't able to push away from the table maybe pushing up from the table will work" "it is obvious you love carbs no one needs to tell me" "are you even watching your weight?", "do you really think taking your shoes off will make a big difference in what the scale says?" I am not offended by any of this but do wonder if he talks like this to all his pts? So here I am trying to lose weight not because of what my Dr said but because of what I saw in our family Xmas pic...dose of hard cold reality.5
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Had one doctor tell me that my peri menopausal symptoms were all in my head ans due to me being overweight. I went to a women's specialist and found out I was not peri, I was POST menopausal and had 0 estrogen, 0 progesterone and the testosterone count of a 70 y/o. I am now on the correct hormone replacement and have lost 8 pounds. Only 70 more to go!4
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My NHS General Practitioner [UK] came right out with...."you're a time bomb just waiting to explode" because I was obese and I smoked....that frightened me so much I got down to a normal weight within 1 year which I maintained for 2 years then I totally gave up smoking....now I just need to lose the weight I put on because I dumped tobacco. Without my doctor calling me out I would either be dead, diabetic or bed ridden [I'm 70] and because I would have just carried on getting heavier and heavier and coughing my guts up.4
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My doctor did bring it up to me before *kitten* hit the fan with my health (endometriosis caused ovarian torsion and while doing surgery they found cancer and lots of bad things happened).
I had a visit with her to report persistent symptoms with pelvic pain (before my endometriosis diagnosis so no one knew what was wrong) and we talked about health behaviors that may alleviate some of my symptoms and that’s when she talked about eating a healthier diet. I figured it was a good time to tell her I needed help with that because I had been trying for so long and just could never get it together. She recommended I see a nutritional counselor as well as a behavioral specialist for binge/impulsive/emotional eating tendencies.
I’m glad we had the discussion.
Once I got my health in order as far as my hysterectomy and other surgeries and all of that nonsense I really dedicated myself to the healthy lifestyle and actually just saw her for my physical last week. I’m down 50lbs from my last visit and feel so much better (not necessarily from the weight loss but appropriate management of my other health issues). My doctor was really thrilled.
I think it’s something that directly relates to health and well-being and any good doctor should bring the issue up. Now if you go for a head cold and they tell you to lose weight I don’t think that’s appropriate but at regular health maintenance visits or relevant complaints, absolutely. Most doctors want to help you get healthy.5 -
Any prudent doctor who is concerned about a patient's well being should discuss his/her weight. Being over/under weight should be addressed.
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I don't remember if I responded yet, but no never. I have never had a doctor talk to me about my weight, and I have been 100lbs overweight for about 15-ish years. But I also never had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes or pre-diabetes, or any other conditions sometimes related to weight.
But when nobody says anything, it can hurt you more than help you. I always thought I was so lucky because nobody ever mentioned my weight, but it made that much harder to make the decision for myself.
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Yes my doctor says everything is related to weight. Broke my ankle? Cos I'm fat. Have a cold? Cos I'm fat. One even said to me years ago "it's a shame you've let yourself get so fat, because you're a very pretty girl and I'm sure if you weren't so big you'd have found a husband by now". It was so offensive on so many levels. I just changed practices but I wish I'd have complained
I feel your pain. I had a dr. that tried to tell me that I didn't have a kidney infection- I pulled a muscle in my back because I'm fat. 2 months later, I'm in the er with a kidney on the verge of rupturing. Needless to say, shes not my dr anymore.0 -
Tweaking_Time wrote: »Has your doc ever suggested you lose weight? If so, were you offended?
I asked my doc if she ever suggested people lose weight, eat better, exercise more, etc. She said that her answer would be mostly "No." When I asked her why she explained that being a doctor is a business and if she would critique each patients weight, she is sure she would lose patients, especially the easily offended ones. She also said if the patient asks her opinion about their weight, should would gladly help them with a diet/exercise plan.
The first and last time a doctor commented on my weight was when I was in elementary school, grade 6 I believe. Well he told my mom I gained too much weight for my age while I was in the same room-I wasn’t offended.0 -
VintageFeline wrote: »Yes. Not in a telling me off way but in a "this is going to affect you and probably soon" sort of way. But I'm the UK with the NHS, she doesn't care about losing my business because healthcare isn't for profit. It's part of her job to keep me well to warn me about the things I can control to manage my health.
I think my GP may have mentioned it in passing, but he genuinely seemed shocked at just how much I weighed (and had put on) when I went to ask for help losing weight at 290lb. Mind he was about as helpful as a chocolate teapot, telling me the only way I'd lose weight was surgery. I refused to go back and see him for a long time, but had to take one of my children to see him and all he talked about was how did I manage to lose weight and how I'd "bucked the odds".
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Yes and she needs to loose it more than me so irritated me a little but then again.. I know I need to loose more so who cares1
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My doctor ask me every time about my diet and before I lost weight she always suggests that I need to loose weight I don't have a problems with it she wants me to be healthy0
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I'm in the UK.
I've had doctors who'd blame me being rear ended by another car on my weight. Most will mention it. I've found a lot don't quite get that if you're suicidal, you probably are going to struggle to care about your weight killing you in 30 years. And more than 1 assume I'm depressed and anxious because I'm fat, not the other way. I've noticed the ones who can't eat when low, don't understand somebody who overeats when low.
My doctor now is great, he was the one who said (accurately) that until my mental health is under some control I won't lose much, he encouraged me to focus on not gaining more, on being active when I can. Mental health is getting better, I'm sticking to calorie counting for the first time since I was a teenager. I know next time I see him he'll be encouraging and kind, in a way I want him to see his methods have got me to a point I'm beginning to win.
On that note, as a teenager I was obese but not this obese, I'd lost a stone, my *kitten* of a doctor told me at my weight a stone wouldn't make any difference and was generally dismissive. Gave up that day. I know my choices are on me, but she sure as hell didn't help.
I think weight is something doctors should mention, but I also don't think most people get to be 2x their healthy weight without underlying issues that need addressing. At least, it should be a consideration, and doctors should understand treating the whole person is important.8 -
Yep but she was super proud that I lost 20 pounds..... But now I pretty much gained it back taking a REALLY BAD probiotic0
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Yep but she was super proud that I lost 20 pounds..... But now I pretty much gained it back taking a REALLY BAD probiotic
I'm a bit lost on the connection between your two statements
are you saying taking a bad probiotic (what was bad about it?) caused you to re gain 20lb???
How so??3 -
When I was young I remember a lot of doctors blaming all kinds of little things on weight. My current doctor was so careful about the subject that I wonder if she had training on it. I really appreciated her approach3
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I gained 80 pounds in a year and a half so it was hard to ignore, but I’m so thankful my doctor didn’t call me “obese”. That word is very triggering and carries a lot of stigma. I am over 240 pounds now so I know that I am overweight at this point but “obese”
is a word that still feels very, very hard for me to accept and I definitely don’t identify myself with that label.
My previous doctor said I was “overweight” back when I was only 160 pounds which is a totally average weight for a 5’5” woman (most of my friends are in the 170s of 180s) and doesn’t seem big to me at all… I had an average fitness level and wasn’t too out of shape, so being labeled “overweight” was a big shock to me and just felt really, really unfair. I deserve better than being called “overweight” in a way that’s so insensitive to my feelings about it. Needless to say I changed doctors after that!
Everyone knows the BMI system is crap because it doesn’t account for muscle mass. A muscular woman could have a high BMI due to the muscle weight, but still have very low body fat, and BMI will classify her as “obese”. So yes, you can be “obese” according to BMI and be perfectly healthy. We need to be a lot more careful with words like “obese” because it can really hurt a person’s self-esteem and body image!
To really evaluate someone’s health you need to look at way more than just weight alone. But doctors are lazy and they throw around these very unfair labels of “overweight” and “obese” based on height/weight alone. Women are constantly judged and labeled based on a number on a scale that doesn’t tell you the whole story. It’s so unfair and really pisses me off!!1 -
Old thread and I'm not sure I already answered but I had a doctor tell me he wanted to see me at 160 when I'd weighed in at 225 (I'm 5'2") and no, I wasn't offended. He was stating the obvious...that I needed to lose weight and he wasn't rude about it.
So I lost the weight.
Changed doctors tho because he I was really turned off by his greased up hair. It was like he thought he was living in the 50s. Plus I'm just more comfortable with a female doctor. 1 -
Yes, it’s their job. Whatever people think about BMI it is a statistical indicator of serious health conditions - including propensity to get seriously ill from COVID. Being told you are overweight can feel
Insulting and personal but it’s not a judgement on you personally and it doesn’t address or diminish the emotional stress which may be behind the weight. It’s just a statement of fact, and for me - taking the emotion out of the situation allowed me to accept that I needed to lose a little bit of weight. There are indeed statistic outliers on BMI, but they are rare and really quite specific.9 -
I gained 80 pounds in a year and a half so it was hard to ignore, but I’m so thankful my doctor didn’t call me “obese”. That word is very triggering and carries a lot of stigma. I am over 240 pounds now so I know that I am overweight at this point but “obese”
is a word that still feels very, very hard for me to accept and I definitely don’t identify myself with that label.
My previous doctor said I was “overweight” back when I was only 160 pounds which is a totally average weight for a 5’5” woman (most of my friends are in the 170s of 180s) and doesn’t seem big to me at all… I had an average fitness level and wasn’t too out of shape, so being labeled “overweight” was a big shock to me and just felt really, really unfair. I deserve better than being called “overweight” in a way that’s so insensitive to my feelings about it. Needless to say I changed doctors after that!
Everyone knows the BMI system is crap because it doesn’t account for muscle mass. A muscular woman could have a high BMI due to the muscle weight, but still have very low body fat, and BMI will classify her as “obese”. So yes, you can be “obese” according to BMI and be perfectly healthy. We need to be a lot more careful with words like “obese” because it can really hurt a person’s self-esteem and body image!
To really evaluate someone’s health you need to look at way more than just weight alone. But doctors are lazy and they throw around these very unfair labels of “overweight” and “obese” based on height/weight alone. Women are constantly judged and labeled based on a number on a scale that doesn’t tell you the whole story. It’s so unfair and really pisses me off!!
It's true that many people use BMI for purposes that it was not intended for. It is a population statistic that suggests that there is a weight range based on height where you either are or are not more likely to suffer health impacts from your mass. That doesn't mean it's "crap." It means it is misused sometimes.
There's now a "smart BMI" available that takes your age and gender into account. Typically, women have lower BMI numbers than men because of bone mass and muscle mass. When I realized this, I realized that having a goal weight mid-way through the healthy BMI range was maybe not the best goal. Aiming for 75% of the range was probably better (i.e., halfway between the midpoint and top of the healthy range). That would be a BMI of 23.3. My Smart BMI says I'm clearly in the healthy range as is. That puts me much closer to my goal than I think!
That said, BMI is just a number. It's not insensitive; it's just a number that describes a ratio. At 5' 5" and 160 pounds, you were in fact overweight, but only by about ten pounds by BMI. That fact may trigger some feelings and emotions, but that doesn't change the number. At 240 pounds, you are no longer obese; you are morbidly obese.
Fortunately you can do something about it. Since you're here now, it's good that you ARE doing something about it. I bet you start to feel physically better as you approach your goals. I know I did. You can do this. Just drop the idea that it is insensitive for a ratio to be the number that it is.
If you aren't a fan of BMI or Smart BMI, there are other methods of assessment. Two simple ones use a measuring tape. It uses the ratio of your hips to your waist. This method takes gender into account. There are a few interpretations of the health implications. A woman is considered obese if she has a waist to hip ratio over 0.80 or 0.85 depending on which interpretation you use. Another method is waist to height ratio. As a woman, a waist to height ratio over 0.58 is obese.9 -
Well being overweight is the NUMBER ONE risk factor for any individual regardless of health, age, race, etc. So it's not uncommon for doctors to rely on that first.I gained 80 pounds in a year and a half so it was hard to ignore, but I’m so thankful my doctor didn’t call me “obese”. That word is very triggering and carries a lot of stigma. I am over 240 pounds now so I know that I am overweight at this point but “obese”
is a word that still feels very, very hard for me to accept and I definitely don’t identify myself with that label.
My previous doctor said I was “overweight” back when I was only 160 pounds which is a totally average weight for a 5’5” woman (most of my friends are in the 170s of 180s) and doesn’t seem big to me at all… I had an average fitness level and wasn’t too out of shape, so being labeled “overweight” was a big shock to me and just felt really, really unfair. I deserve better than being called “overweight” in a way that’s so insensitive to my feelings about it. Needless to say I changed doctors after that!
Everyone knows the BMI system is crap because it doesn’t account for muscle mass. A muscular woman could have a high BMI due to the muscle weight, but still have very low body fat, and BMI will classify her as “obese”. So yes, you can be “obese” according to BMI and be perfectly healthy. We need to be a lot more careful with words like “obese” because it can really hurt a person’s self-esteem and body image!
To really evaluate someone’s health you need to look at way more than just weight alone. But doctors are lazy and they throw around these very unfair labels of “overweight” and “obese” based on height/weight alone. Women are constantly judged and labeled based on a number on a scale that doesn’t tell you the whole story. It’s so unfair and really pisses me off!!
But yes while BMI isn't the best indicator for a person's health and or physical fitness, the AVERAGE person who doesn't exercise can use it as a guide. Where I do think people fail on understanding BMI is when they start using it as a reason that they CAN be overweight/obese and lie to themselves that they are athletic, and muscular.
And honestly 5'5" and 160lbs ISN'T average unless you're comparing yourself to the average American female and our population has a 65% population of people who ARE overweight and obese. If you go to other countries where there isn't an obesity issue, you'll find a 5'5" female is within the BMI range with 145lbs being the high end.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I don't love BMI as an indicator of individual health. I think it's a good population tool but for actual individuals smartbmi does it better.
That said I hate "average" as a ... measure or guideline in the US.
Average is something companies and businesses need to care about, but average does not mean not overweight, not obese, not fat.
When I was 190lbs at 5'5" I was about on par or smaller than all but a handful of people I knew. Because we were all fat. I'm now 136 and smaller than all but a few people I regularly see. Because they are (loved, cherished, important to me, wonderful people who's worth is not determined by their weight) overweight or obese. I am NOT objectively skinny.
The AVERAGE is a lousy, lousy, health metric.
especially lousy as a health metric when you're young or relatively young and using it in a 'everyone I know is this weight and healthy'. ...those percentages change as age increases. Young you have more physical... resilience than when you start stacking age on top of weight.10 -
Wow. Everyone is judging my body without having seen it - no clue how muscular I am or what my body fat percentage is. Weight is just one number and does not tell you the whole story. There are plenty of “overweight” (according to BMI) people who have excellent health and fitness, active lifestyle with high muscle mass and low fat. There are also plenty of skinny people with terrible fitness, sedentary lifestyle and little muscle mass. BMI only tells you height and weight. That’s it. That is not enough to evaluate health!
I’m sorry but what BMI defines as “overweight” is so unfair. 160 is a totally normal weight for a REAL woman, not the unrealistic skeleton-thin models that society tells us we need to look like. I am a real woman with curves and an average body type and that does not make me unhealthy and I don’t deserve to be body shamed because I don’t meet some unrealistic number that hardly any real women can meet. All the women I know are in the 160s or higher and guess what? They are fit, relatively active, and they eat healthy. Yes I compare myself to them because they’re healthy normal women. And yes I am AMERICAN and I live a normal American lifestyle. I don’t deserve to be called “morbidly obese”! I am not eating more than anybody else and I’m not any less active than average. It’s totally unfair to compare me to some other country where people are probably starving. If 65% of people are “overweight” and only 35% are “normal” that just shows you how BMI is a broken system. “Normal” should be the range where most people are at, not a small minority of people.
Genetics also plays a huge role - some women are naturally larger even if they do the same diet and same exercise as skinny girls. That is just their natural size and it doesn’t make them unhealthy. I am apple shape so I naturally have a large waistline. That is my body’s NATURAL shape. It doesn’t make me unhealthy.
I’m sorry but I’m feeling a lot of judgement here and it’s making me feel pissed.2 -
@CurvyEmmy
It is clear you don't understand how BMI works. It's objective, not subjective. There's no judgement. There's no shaming. There's objective measurements.
My hair used to be brown, and I used to have a lot more of it. It's an objective fact that I'm a middle-aged balding grey-haired human. Is that fair? No way. Is it true? I'm afraid so. Is there anything I can do about it? I could dye it, but... nah. I could get a rug, but... nah. Just wear a hat or use sunscreen up there.
If you do the calculation, the results are that you are morbidly obese. Does this present a higher risk of poor health outcomes? Yes it does. Is there anything you can do to reduce your mass? Yes, there is. Can you get your weight down to a "healthy" BMI? Only you know, and if you don't try you won't succeed. If you are happy in your body and you don't want to get to a healthy weight, that is your choice. It is your body. There is no shame in being happy with who you are. To claim that BMI is "broken" and that is "unfair" to "judge" you based on it is disingenuous. These statements are subjective. BMI, and other measures of health as relates to weight or size, ar objective. Claiming to not be obese with a BMI of 39.9 is like me claiming that this text is fuchsia and this text is chartreuse
Some people are truly outliers on BMI, but it is a small number. Have you done the hip:waist or hip:height measurements? Those are other assessment methods. What are your results? Have you had your body fat percentage reliably measured because you are correct, we can only guess based on what you've written.
Average is somewhat irrelevant in this context. Even if we dial in what average we're referring to (median, mean, mode), it's still not relevant. You probably don't consider yourself tall. The average woman in the US is an inch shorter than you, so does that make you tall? Actually it might, but not by much. Bad example. Because some people don't have two arms, the "average" (mean) number of arms on a human is less than two. Does that mean I have an abnormally large number of arms? Nope. The median and mode for number of arms is two, so I am normal by those measures. The term "normal" can be misleading. Statistically, since 69% of American people are overweight or obese (with more obese than "just" overweight), being overweight is "normal." It is not healthy.
I wish you success with your goals. I sincerely hope you can step back and recognize there's no judgement here, just factual information. People here will support you on your journey, but you have to recognize that you don't get to make up facts that aren't true. Well, you can, but they're not facts and they're not true.
I sincerely wish you success in ALL your endeavors.21 -
Smartbmi gave me the same number as a bunch of other bmi calculators so take that! Or something. 😃
Might be because I'm old, short, and no longer that 225 or even 160 lbs. No idea.
@CurvyEmmy No one was body shaming you. They even agreed on the bmi calculator part. But I gotta admit, the fact you said you don't "identify" with being morbidly obese...this ain't tumblr and this isn't about sexuality or gender (which is soooooo huge on tumblr). It's about a chart. You're giving it too much power by feeling it's unfair. 5 times. I'm pretty sure you used that word 5 times.15 -
I.
I think this thread, and the last bit of it in particular, really sort of highlights what one of the many problems we have is.
Size is not an identity (or, well I suppose some plus sized/health at every size influencers have made it one, but that's not a good thing)
Obesity is not an insult or a slur. It's just not. It's an objective - not subjective - thing.
Obesity is a medical condition/state/term.
Identity is who you are. Inside. Not what you LOOK LIKE, or how heavy you are. That's sort of part of why your weight should not determine how people treat you and why people ACTUALLY being awful to someone based on their weight is *kitten*.
When you make how big you are your identity, and resist a medical classification of a medical issue, you're in for a really bad time
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Also, honestly:
"This is my body's natural shape."
Your natural shape is determined by your skeleton. How much fat you put over that - or muscle - is down to being a reflection of your lifestyle.
This whole idea that weight is some inherent thing that cannot be changed is... a big old cultural problem and I hate it, thanks.
I can't change that my ribs and pelvis are maybe an inch apart, and my butt is non-existent and I am large chested. I can't change that I store most of my extra fat in my stomach or as 'saddle bags' above my nonexistent butt. I can't change that I'm 5'5" and that my natural hair color is brown and I am pale skinned a nd have freckles.
Know what I can change? What IS the reflection of my choices, decisions, activity levels and diet?
Whether I weigh 200 pounds and am obese or whether I weigh 130.
Those changes might be hard, they might be riddled with psychological landmines, and even physical capability hurdles.
But they are NOT some hardwired immutable things beyond all control.
If they were, I would have STAYED obese. Yeah, obese. Because objective reality doesn't care how I feel/felt about the term.13
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