Dear Dr. MFP: Are you in a conundrum? Do you need bad advice? Ask away!
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nolan44219 wrote: »Dr. Mfp,
Someone on the couch is snoring really loud during the KC HOU game. Would pressing a pillow over there face be a crime?
You already know my solution, punch them in the back of the head. But the pillow isn't a bad idea either. You will need an alibi or documentation that she has sleep apnea or something to take the heat off of you. Not that I have thought this out before or anything.0 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »My SO gave me a rare STD, I've just found out the whole street has it..should I be suspicious and what should I do?.
I am sure it is just something in the water and he hasn't been sleeping around. I would continue to believe everything he tells you.3 -
OutOfUserName wrote: »when someone say in real life what does it mean?
In real life is that thing that happens when you aren't staring at your computer but those people make me uncomfortable so I would rather stay right here with all you weirdos.0 -
MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »Dr. MFP, what's the deal with my MFP crush adding friends after me? They already have me...how do I get them to get rid of all their friends because I'm the only one they need?
You start tagging him in every post you make, write on his wall multiple times a day and post mean things under the other girls when they post. If this doesn't work the only thing left to do is to buy a plane ticket and surprise him!2 -
beingmore1 wrote: »Dear dr. Mfp,
Sometimes I make eye contact with people inadvertently. What am I to do in this situation?
The next time this happens you start doing a nervous twitch immediately after eye contact and start mumbling "I really didn't mean to do it". They will run far away and avoid you from then on.0 -
beingmore1 wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »Dr. MFP, what's the deal with my MFP crush adding friends after me? They already have me...how do I get them to get rid of all their friends because I'm the only one they need?
Dear dr. Mfp....how do I get a crush to add me in the first place before they add @MeeseeksAndDestroy ?
Send nudes before she does.2 -
Dear Dr. MFP
How do I get in good with the MFP gang? I'm passive aggressive and sarcastic. I think they may be too nice for me here.0 -
HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »Dear Dr. MFP
How do I get in good with the MFP gang? I'm passive aggressive and sarcastic. I think they may be too nice for me here.
This hurts my feelings.0 -
Dr MFP, how come nobody finds me inspiring?2
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caco_ethes wrote: »HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »Dear Dr. MFP
How do I get in good with the MFP gang? I'm passive aggressive and sarcastic. I think they may be too nice for me here.
This hurts my feelings.
From what I gather, there is no safe space here. I like it
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caco_ethes wrote: »Dr MFP, how come nobody finds me inspiring?
You're inspiring AF. Don't let anyone dim your shine0 -
HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »Dr MFP, how come nobody finds me inspiring?
You're inspiring AF. Don't let anyone dim your shine
That shine is mostly just nervous sweat.5 -
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HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »Dear Dr. MFP
How do I get in good with the MFP gang? I'm passive aggressive and sarcastic. I think they may be too nice for me here.
Trust me, they can be some of the meanest most straight forward sarcastic people I know. You should fit right in.
I mean that with endearment, they are some of my best friends.3 -
caco_ethes wrote: »Dr MFP, how come nobody finds me inspiring?
I find you inspiring af and that is all that matters!
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Dear Dr. of MFP if after posting a smarts comment and I lose that person as a friend should I consider it a good or bad thing? Oh and just to let you know this couch is extremely moist from the last person lying on it!
It means they weren't smart enough to figure it out, it's a good thing.
Yeah, I told @abetterme9366 we were getting too crazy and should back it up a bit, that's not sweat btw.0 -
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abetterme9366 wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »Dear Dr. of MFP if after posting a smarts comment and I lose that person as a friend should I consider it a good or bad thing? Oh and just to let you know this couch is extremely moist from the last person lying on it!
It means they weren't smart enough to figure it out, it's a good thing.
Yeah, I told @abetterme9366 we were getting too crazy and should back it up a bit, that's not sweat btw.
Are we still scheduled for another appt today doc? I’m getting antsy
We better schedule two for today.0 -
MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »Dear Dr. MFP
How do I get in good with the MFP gang? I'm passive aggressive and sarcastic. I think they may be too nice for me here.
Do you have any lizard pictures? Preferably in people clothes or hats. Also what is your lizard limit? This will help.
I once had an iguana named Taco2 -
RunHardBeStrong wrote: »Dear Dr. of MFP if after posting a smarts comment and I lose that person as a friend should I consider it a good or bad thing? Oh and just to let you know this couch is extremely moist from the last person lying on it!
It means they weren't smart enough to figure it out, it's a good thing.
Yeah, I told @abetterme9366 we were getting too crazy and should back it up a bit, that's not sweat btw.
Thank You good Dr. is there a deductible or a copay?
I accept chocolate and bourbon as payment. Or schmeckles.0 -
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beingmore1 wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »Dear Dr. MFP
How do I get in good with the MFP gang? I'm passive aggressive and sarcastic. I think they may be too nice for me here.
Trust me, they can be some of the meanest most straight forward sarcastic people I know. You should fit right in.
I mean that with endearment, they are some of my best friends.
Just this morning I saw some little kid walking to the bus and I told him, hey, you know that Santa isn’t real don’t you?
I get it. I told my neighbor girl who resembles Carri btw, that Disney Princesses aren't real a few years ago. Trust me, she deserved it.0 -
Dear Dr. MFP I clicked on @RunHardBeStrong name this morning and it said add as friend was it a dream that we were friends is that your recurring nightmare?
It must have been a dream that we were friends, I don't believe we ever were friends but I do go on random deletions at times just to keep my list down. I don't like a huge list.
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beingmore1 wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »Dear Dr. MFP I clicked on @RunHardBeStrong name this morning and it said add as friend was it a dream that we were friends is that your recurring nightmare?
It must have been a dream that we were friends, I don't believe we ever were friends but I do go on random deletions at times just to keep my list down. I don't like a huge list.
What about a huge member? Is their a size limit to those members you will accept?
Yes, pictures next to rulers so I can see for myself is a requirement in their friend request.1 -
Dear MFP,
Can you give us step by step instructions on how to expose a catfish?1 -
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