Dear Dr. MFP: Are you in a conundrum? Do you need bad advice? Ask away!

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  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    nolan44219 wrote: »
    Dr. Mfp
    I've have a friend who's had a rough couple of days? Do you have any suggestions on how to cheer her up a little? Or maybe just make her giggle?

    I think just being yourself is enough but corny jokes help. Or a million dollars.
  • nolan44219
    nolan44219 Posts: 1,221 Member
    nolan44219 wrote: »
    Dr. Mfp
    I've have a friend who's had a rough couple of days? Do you have any suggestions on how to cheer her up a little? Or maybe just make her giggle?

    She loves a good cinnamon swirl joke. She also gets a bit of a kick out of replacing words in movie titles with the word “butt hole”. So enjoys a stiff drink. But if all else fails, tell her you love her, tell her she always has a safe place to land in you and that you’re going to see her through it. ❤️
    beingmore1 wrote: »
    nolan44219 wrote: »
    Dr. Mfp
    I've have a friend who's had a rough couple of days? Do you have any suggestions on how to cheer her up a little? Or maybe just make her giggle?

    She loves a good cinnamon swirl joke. She also gets a bit of a kick out of replacing words in movie titles with the word “butt hole”. So enjoys a stiff drink. But if all else fails, tell her you love her, tell her she always has a safe place to land in you and that you’re going to see her through it. ❤️

    And if that fails just feed her chocolate and call her a banana head. Chicks dig that.
    nolan44219 wrote: »
    Dr. Mfp
    I've have a friend who's had a rough couple of days? Do you have any suggestions on how to cheer her up a little? Or maybe just make her giggle?

    I think just being yourself is enough but corny jokes help. Or a million dollars.

    hmmm. D-pics weren't mentioned in any of these. Interesting.....

    2s8wxvbr1hd6.gif
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    nolan44219 wrote: »
    nolan44219 wrote: »
    Dr. Mfp
    I've have a friend who's had a rough couple of days? Do you have any suggestions on how to cheer her up a little? Or maybe just make her giggle?

    She loves a good cinnamon swirl joke. She also gets a bit of a kick out of replacing words in movie titles with the word “butt hole”. So enjoys a stiff drink. But if all else fails, tell her you love her, tell her she always has a safe place to land in you and that you’re going to see her through it. ❤️
    beingmore1 wrote: »
    nolan44219 wrote: »
    Dr. Mfp
    I've have a friend who's had a rough couple of days? Do you have any suggestions on how to cheer her up a little? Or maybe just make her giggle?

    She loves a good cinnamon swirl joke. She also gets a bit of a kick out of replacing words in movie titles with the word “butt hole”. So enjoys a stiff drink. But if all else fails, tell her you love her, tell her she always has a safe place to land in you and that you’re going to see her through it. ❤️

    And if that fails just feed her chocolate and call her a banana head. Chicks dig that.
    nolan44219 wrote: »
    Dr. Mfp
    I've have a friend who's had a rough couple of days? Do you have any suggestions on how to cheer her up a little? Or maybe just make her giggle?

    I think just being yourself is enough but corny jokes help. Or a million dollars.

    hmmm. D-pics weren't mentioned in any of these. Interesting.....

    2s8wxvbr1hd6.gif

    Haha! Well that depends on the recipient, those could help too.
  • Unknown
    edited October 2017
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  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Dr, I got the feelz for someone and it's not reciprocated, what should I do?

    Im thinking take him by force and make him like me, stalk and harrass... but Im open to other suggestions
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  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
    Dr, I got the feelz for someone and it's not reciprocated, what should I do?

    Im thinking take him by force and make him like me, stalk and harrass... but Im open to other suggestions

    Perhaps you need to get a club, and knock him over the head like cavemen did with the women they wanted?
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    _barefoot_ wrote: »
    Hello ..
    For giggles I looked up an old childhood friend on FB ( my mom has an account )
    What is your advice on looking up an old childhood friend ?
    Should I rekindle my past or let the past stay in the past ?

    Thanks

    Nothing wrong with a little FB stalking. Do they bring you good memories? Then it may be worth rekindling. If you didn't know them well or they bring bad memories then maybe not. Yet, even then something good could come of it. Take a chance.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    hellvee wrote: »
    Hi dr I have someone who follows me around like a negative cloud of energy how do I expelliarmus this person from my life

    ps my patronus is a middle finger attached to a spartan



    In this case you need to ask yourself, what would Harry do? Only you know the right answer.

    Your patronus sounds awesome af.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    beingmore1 wrote: »
    Dear dr mfp: a “friend” likes to eat pizza crust first. What should I do?

    Delete them. This is just unacceptable

    This is an acceptable solution.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    Dr, I got the feelz for someone and it's not reciprocated, what should I do?

    Im thinking take him by force and make him like me, stalk and harrass... but Im open to other suggestions

    Most guys like some aggression. Throw in a little choking and he is good as yours.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    _barefoot_ wrote: »
    _barefoot_ wrote: »
    Hello ..
    For giggles I looked up an old childhood friend on FB ( my mom has an account )
    What is your advice on looking up an old childhood friend ?
    Should I rekindle my past or let the past stay in the past ?

    Thanks

    Nothing wrong with a little FB stalking. Do they bring you good memories? Then it may be worth rekindling. If you didn't know them well or they bring bad memories then maybe not. Yet, even then something good could come of it. Take a chance.

    Dr. I would not really consider myself a " stalker " that sounds so bad more like a noisy person is more
    what I am.

    FB stalking is a loose term for being curious. Didn't mean to imply you were actually stalking people.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    beingmore1 wrote: »
    Dr, I got the feelz for someone and it's not reciprocated, what should I do?

    Im thinking take him by force and make him like me, stalk and harrass... but Im open to other suggestions

    Message all his lady friends and tell them he’s yours, then send him your underpants. It’s official after that.
    sfertch wrote: »
    Dr, I got the feelz for someone and it's not reciprocated, what should I do?

    Im thinking take him by force and make him like me, stalk and harrass... but Im open to other suggestions

    Perhaps you need to get a club, and knock him over the head like cavemen did with the women they wanted?
    Dr, I got the feelz for someone and it's not reciprocated, what should I do?

    Im thinking take him by force and make him like me, stalk and harrass... but Im open to other suggestions

    Most guys like some aggression. Throw in a little choking and he is good as yours.


    Okay ..got it.. Have messaged his lady friends and sent him my undies. I intend to knock him off his bike, choke him and club him for good measure. At last he'll be mine :heart:


    Ermmm @sfertch, what bike track you travelling tomorrow? asking for a friend :laugh:
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  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    beingmore1 wrote: »
    Dear dr. Mfp:
    I drank seven cups of coffee and a Diet Pepsi this morning. I am now feeling some sort of pressure sensation in my lower abdominal area and near my whohaw. Am I dying? What is it? Should I make out my will and leave everything to my mfp spouse...will I have time to get one?

    You have plenty of time to get one, it only takes a minute, pick one to send nudes to then you are mfp married. And yes, you should leave everything to him but make a clause that his real wife is not allowed to touch it.

    Or maybe you just need to poop and you will be just fine.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    I called the cops on my stalker and now he's gone. How do I tell him that I was only joking?
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    I called the cops on my stalker and now he's gone. How do I tell him that I was only joking?

    Send him a singing telegram letting him know that you miss him watching you and you will never call the cops again.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    I called the cops on my stalker and now he's gone. How do I tell him that I was only joking?

    Send him a singing telegram letting him know that you miss him watching you and you will never call the cops again.

    I hope it works. Leaving the curtains open at night seems so pointless now.
    Thank you!
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    I called the cops on my stalker and now he's gone. How do I tell him that I was only joking?

    Send him a singing telegram letting him know that you miss him watching you and you will never call the cops again.

    I hope it works. Leaving the curtains open at night seems so pointless now.
    Thank you!

    You're welcome but I am sure someone is out there finding enjoyment in your open curtains and you don't even know it!
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  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    beingmore1 wrote: »
    beingmore1 wrote: »
    Dear dr. Mfp:
    I drank seven cups of coffee and a Diet Pepsi this morning. I am now feeling some sort of pressure sensation in my lower abdominal area and near my whohaw. Am I dying? What is it? Should I make out my will and leave everything to my mfp spouse...will I have time to get one?

    You have plenty of time to get one, it only takes a minute, pick one to send nudes to then you are mfp married. And yes, you should leave everything to him but make a clause that his real wife is not allowed to touch it.

    Or maybe you just need to poop and you will be just fine.

    Should I cover my toothbrush?

    Yes and leave your coffee in the kitchen. Please for the love of god!
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    Should I make eye contact with a co-worker who is leaving the company restroom while I'm headed that way?
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    Should I make eye contact with a co-worker who is leaving the company restroom while I'm headed that way?

    Definitely and make sure you're also eating a banana.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Ask...

    Dear RHBS,

    I am bored with current noodz I am getting and I think all the MFP women are on to me, so I have not been able to nice-guy manipulate any new lovelies into the mix. How can I mix up my game to improve my spank bank flow with new material? Also, I am trying to upgrade from just getting pics to more videos. Is there any further advice that might help?

    Would more cowbell help?

    You're the best. KthnxBai!

  • beagletracks
    beagletracks Posts: 6,034 Member
    Doctor: I've got 2 hours at the Denver airport waiting for a connection. What should I do?
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