Dear Dr. MFP: Are you in a conundrum? Do you need bad advice? Ask away!
Replies
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RunHardBeStrong wrote: »ToniLeeAnn82 wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »ToniLeeAnn82 wrote: »How to handle the sister-in-law from hell.?.. Any takers?
Is she related to my sister in law?
Honestly I just fake it, I smile, I nod. Go on about my business.
Until I had enough about 6 months ago. I told her everything that I had kept bottled up and told her to get professional help. Then I blocked her phone number, social media, etc and she hasn't talked to me since. It has been glorious!
ugggghhh.. I wish I could just walk away from her.. I just kinda keep to myself if she comes over. Her children are really close to my fiancé, and she was supposed to be my maid of honor. I asked her after my baby sister passed away, so to stand in for her. Her husband is the best man, so we figured it would be a good idea. Now, her true colors are shinning through.. and I just don't want to deal with it. I told him that I love and respect him, but I am not going to try anymore with her.
I am sorry about the loss of your little sis, I can understand why you asked the sis in law to take her place in the wedding. I am sorry she is also making it hell for you. I don't blame you for keeping your distance from her. I hope it all works out and try to not let her ruin your big day.
Thank you! I hope it does to! I believe in my heart that she loves her brother, and hope the distance will mend whatever issue she is having. But really. thank you!1 -
ToniLeeAnn82 wrote: »HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »ToniLeeAnn82 wrote: »How to handle the sister-in-law from hell.?.. Any takers?
I wish I had an answer for that. Mine stays with us for 2 whole weeks a year
I hope she is not as bad as mine.
Mine brings a know-it-all 9 year old with her. Only child syndrome is strong and she just can't say how amazing he is enough. It's OK that he *kitten* himself still because he can recite all 50 states and their Capitals. Oh, and my kids are "boring".1 -
So you all actually give pretty good advice
I have a friend who I just learned is sick and I don't know what to say or do. Cancer, and is having surgery in a couple of days.
I don't know what to say or do, I told her if there is anything I can do for her to let me know, but what else can I do? I do care and don't want to seem cold...do I message her? And if so say what? I also don't want to keep bringing up her illness, in my head I am positive thoughts only until reality says otherwise.
What would you do?0 -
HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »ToniLeeAnn82 wrote: »HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »ToniLeeAnn82 wrote: »How to handle the sister-in-law from hell.?.. Any takers?
I wish I had an answer for that. Mine stays with us for 2 whole weeks a year
I hope she is not as bad as mine.
Mine brings a know-it-all 9 year old with her. Only child syndrome is strong and she just can't say how amazing he is enough. It's OK that he *kitten* himself still because he can recite all 50 states and their Capitals. Oh, and my kids are "boring".
Good luck with that one. Call my child any type of negative statement, your *kitten* will be sleeping in your vehicle while my boring children are sleeping in their boring beds having boring dreams. If daddy wants to fight it, he can sleep out there with them. Lol.1 -
So you all actually give pretty good advice
I have a friend who I just learned is sick and I don't know what to say or do. Cancer, and is having surgery in a couple of days.
I don't know what to say or do, I told her if there is anything I can do for her to let me know, but what else can I do? I do care and don't want to seem cold...do I message her? And if so say what? I also don't want to keep bringing up her illness, in my head I am positive thoughts only until reality says otherwise.
What would you do?
I was in the same situation last year. Very close family friend had been battling cancer for over a year, but decided to stay quiet about it to keep us from worrying. He was such a great soul.
Cancer spread quickly, surgeries weren't that helpful, treatment was painful. It's horrible what this disease does to people. Sucks the life out of you and leaves you up at night, thinking about all the wrong things you've done, reminiscing, often crying and hoping for a better tomorrow. Trying to find the right things to say is very hard. You can never be sure whether they want words of encouragement, a shoulder to cry on, or nothing at all. Depends on the person and how close you are to them.
I would send her flowers after surgery, bake something, bring fruits, movies, books etc. - make sure she knows that you are there for her. Stop by her house from time to time, just to say hi and give a hug. That means a lot. Don't mention your problems. My best piece of advice is talk about cancer only if she starts talking about it first.
You can't go wrong with "I'm thinking of you. (Lots of love)" message. If she's/you're a religious person maybe "I'm praying for you." is the best.
I hope the surgery goes well! You can look for some articles online, I'm sure you'll find even more advice there.
This right here.^^^
My best friend and cousin are battling cancer. At first I waited for them to open up the conversation. Now, I notice that they sometimes want someone to talk to about it. I have them my ears, didn't try to fix it, just listened to them. I didn't know what else to do. I did crochet some hats and blankets for them, because that was all I knew to do.1 -
ToniLeeAnn82 wrote: »So you all actually give pretty good advice
I have a friend who I just learned is sick and I don't know what to say or do. Cancer, and is having surgery in a couple of days.
I don't know what to say or do, I told her if there is anything I can do for her to let me know, but what else can I do? I do care and don't want to seem cold...do I message her? And if so say what? I also don't want to keep bringing up her illness, in my head I am positive thoughts only until reality says otherwise.
What would you do?
I was in the same situation last year. Very close family friend had been battling cancer for over a year, but decided to stay quiet about it to keep us from worrying. He was such a great soul.
Cancer spread quickly, surgeries weren't that helpful, treatment was painful. It's horrible what this disease does to people. Sucks the life out of you and leaves you up at night, thinking about all the wrong things you've done, reminiscing, often crying and hoping for a better tomorrow. Trying to find the right things to say is very hard. You can never be sure whether they want words of encouragement, a shoulder to cry on, or nothing at all. Depends on the person and how close you are to them.
I would send her flowers after surgery, bake something, bring fruits, movies, books etc. - make sure she knows that you are there for her. Stop by her house from time to time, just to say hi and give a hug. That means a lot. Don't mention your problems. My best piece of advice is talk about cancer only if she starts talking about it first.
You can't go wrong with "I'm thinking of you. (Lots of love)" message. If she's/you're a religious person maybe "I'm praying for you." is the best.
I hope the surgery goes well! You can look for some articles online, I'm sure you'll find even more advice there.
This right here.^^^
My best friend and cousin are battling cancer. At first I waited for them to open up the conversation. Now, I notice that they sometimes want someone to talk to about it. I have them my ears, didn't try to fix it, just listened to them. I didn't know what else to do. I did crochet some hats and blankets for them, because that was all I knew to do.
Yes, all of this. There isn't much you can say to make it better for them but just do what you can to ease some stress. Cook for them when you can. Make sure they know you are serious about helping out where you can. Send flowers, pampering/gift baskets. Just things to brighten their day here and there.2 -
So you all actually give pretty good advice
I have a friend who I just learned is sick and I don't know what to say or do. Cancer, and is having surgery in a couple of days.
I don't know what to say or do, I told her if there is anything I can do for her to let me know, but what else can I do? I do care and don't want to seem cold...do I message her? And if so say what? I also don't want to keep bringing up her illness, in my head I am positive thoughts only until reality says otherwise.
What would you do?
In the south people bake things for the person. Food may or may not be a good option depending on the treatment. Let the person know you are there and offer to help, like help clean the house, wash the car, something that the person would be to tired to do. Other then that, there is not much you can do and it depends on the person and how they are handling the situation.2 -
I've been where you are several times.So you all actually give pretty good advice
I have a friend who I just learned is sick and I don't know what to say or do. Cancer, and is having surgery in a couple of days.
I don't know what to say or do, I told her if there is anything I can do for her to let me know, but what else can I do? I do care and don't want to seem cold...do I message her? And if so say what? I also don't want to keep bringing up her illness, in my head I am positive thoughts only until reality says otherwise.
What would you do?
Ask them about their prognosis, stay optimistic in your conversation and then talk about life stuff in general.
When a family friend was in the hospital for cancer, after the medical conversation I made jokes about the parking situation at the hospital.
Spend time with them and show you care, everything else is just gravy.
Much love to you.1 -
So you all actually give pretty good advice
I have a friend who I just learned is sick and I don't know what to say or do. Cancer, and is having surgery in a couple of days.
I don't know what to say or do, I told her if there is anything I can do for her to let me know, but what else can I do? I do care and don't want to seem cold...do I message her? And if so say what? I also don't want to keep bringing up her illness, in my head I am positive thoughts only until reality says otherwise.
Offer to help out with something. Maybe help her around the house, pick up groceries, carpool the kids, have a girls night and rent her favorite movies. What kind of things do you bond over? Is she taking care of herself or is someone else taking care of her? Maybe you could do something to help them, which in turn helps her?
When my dad had throat cancer, he couldn't eat anything. My sister lived with him so she dealt with him day to day. I didn't know what I could do because typically my father & I bonded over meals, but that was out. Turns out all he wanted from me was to sit with him in the living room and watch "Match Game" so we could try to guess the contestants answers or watch sports on TV. My just being there and him being able to interact with me was the best thing for him & my sister.2 -
OutOfUserName wrote: »dear doctor runhard!
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes!
She met a shark under water
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say she died.....
I would just tell them she got hit by a Train.
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cherchezlafemme13 wrote: »beingmore1 wrote: »Dear doc,
How does one start to feel like they are a part of mfp? What does it take to be mfp valued?
Tits
This and reeking of desperation. Posting vague, cryptic, poor me posts every 5 minutes seems to help too.5 -
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beingmore1 wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »cherchezlafemme13 wrote: »beingmore1 wrote: »Dear doc,
How does one start to feel like they are a part of mfp? What does it take to be mfp valued?
Tits
This and wreaking of desperation. Posting vague, cryptic, poor me posts every 5 minutes seems to help too.
I am reeking of desperation and it smells like old pudding. Is this beneficial to me?
Dang you are fast, beat me to fixing my reeking autocorrect error but yes, pudding is the key to everything.1 -
So i met someone on here and they are giving me mixed signals, by first explicitly stating lack of interest, but then offering a sip of protien shake! halp! What do?0
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CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »So i met someone on here and they are giving me mixed signals, by first explicitly stating lack of interest, but then offering a sip of protien shake! halp! What do?
Obviously they have changed their mind. Definitely get their credit score before doing anything else. If the credit is good start sending pervy messages and iTunes gift cards immediately.0 -
I'm really bored. Ask away. Give me something to do today.0
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I'm considering ditching my life and becoming a professional hitchhiker/vagrant (if that's a thing).
How do I go about this responsibily?1 -
I'm considering ditching my life and becoming a professional hitchhiker/vagrant (if that's a thing).
How do I go about this responsibily?
This does sound really enticing doesn't it?! Did you know in Indonesia people can get paid to be a hitchhiker? You just ride around with someone for a few hours pretending to be their employee or whatever they need that day and you get paid for it. So there's that option or..
You can sell off all your belongings, take care of your debt, pack a small bag and take off! Wouldn't that be awesome! I dream of doing something sort of similar to this someday. Except I would probably keep my car and a really small living space as a home base to come back to a few times a year.2 -
RunHardBeStrong wrote: »I'm considering ditching my life and becoming a professional hitchhiker/vagrant (if that's a thing).
How do I go about this responsibily?
This does sound really enticing doesn't it?! Did you know in Indonesia people can get paid to be a hitchhiker? You just ride around with someone for a few hours pretending to be their employee or whatever they need that day and you get paid for it. So there's that option or..
You can sell off all your belongings, take care of your debt, pack a small bag and take off! Wouldn't that be awesome! I dream of doing something sort of similar to this someday. Except I would probably keep my car and a really small living space as a home base to come back to a few times a year.
So I should move to Indonesia?!!
Your advice is solid! Keeping the car and working odd jobs in random towns is one of my fantasies1 -
RunHardBeStrong wrote: »I'm considering ditching my life and becoming a professional hitchhiker/vagrant (if that's a thing).
How do I go about this responsibily?
This does sound really enticing doesn't it?! Did you know in Indonesia people can get paid to be a hitchhiker? You just ride around with someone for a few hours pretending to be their employee or whatever they need that day and you get paid for it. So there's that option or..
You can sell off all your belongings, take care of your debt, pack a small bag and take off! Wouldn't that be awesome! I dream of doing something sort of similar to this someday. Except I would probably keep my car and a really small living space as a home base to come back to a few times a year.
So I should move to Indonesia?!!
Your advice is solid! Keeping the car and working odd jobs in random towns is one of my fantasies
Yes, Jakarta to be exact. It's very colorful and somewhat exotic there.
I agree, having your own transportation to just hop in and take off when you have exhausted your desire to stay in a particular location would be key. To just be able to wake one morning, say eff it and take off for a new place would be pretty freeing and amazing.1 -
invisiblewoman5 wrote: »Doc mfp,
I want to eat a sandwich but there is nobody here to make me one. What should I do?
Wants a sammich
Search craigslist till you find someone that is willing to make you a sandwich and nothing else. Unless they want to do dishes and laundry too. Bonus.0 -
So about the bra or no bra boob sagging debate
So wearing a bra keeps them in place, but is it better to not wear one so the muscles have work to hold them up?0 -
So about the bra or no bra boob sagging debate
So wearing a bra keeps them in place, but is it better to not wear one so the muscles have work to hold them up?
I am in the it is better not to wear one so the muscles have to work club. I have not had any complaints in the "they look good" department so there must be some truth to it.
The whole you have to wear a bra 24/7 thing is a myth. Probably made up by bra manufacturers to make more money. If I could, I would never wear one ever but unfortunately, I do have to wear one to work at least.1 -
RunHardBeStrong wrote: »So about the bra or no bra boob sagging debate
So wearing a bra keeps them in place, but is it better to not wear one so the muscles have work to hold them up?
I am in the it is better not to wear one so the muscles have to work club. I have not had any complaints in the "they look good" department so there must be some truth to it.
The whole you have to wear a bra 24/7 thing is a myth. Probably made up by bra manufacturers to make more money. If I could, I would never wear one ever but unfortunately, I do have to wear one to work at least.
I have missed this thread!
So does it actually work your muscle somehow? I’m so confused by all of that. Should I put kettlebells in my bra or will I get hit on too much?3 -
caco_ethes wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »So about the bra or no bra boob sagging debate
So wearing a bra keeps them in place, but is it better to not wear one so the muscles have work to hold them up?
I am in the it is better not to wear one so the muscles have to work club. I have not had any complaints in the "they look good" department so there must be some truth to it.
The whole you have to wear a bra 24/7 thing is a myth. Probably made up by bra manufacturers to make more money. If I could, I would never wear one ever but unfortunately, I do have to wear one to work at least.
I have missed this thread!
So does it actually work your muscle somehow? I’m so confused by all of that. Should I put kettlebells in my bra or will I get hit on too much?
Recent studies show that wearing a bra actually makes your breasts lazy. The tissues and muscles are being supported and don't have to work which in turn changes the shape of your breasts, not for the better.
Not wearing a bra makes these tissues and muscles work, lifting them somewhat and giving them a nicer shape.
As for the kettlebells, please please please try it and report your findings here!1 -
RunHardBeStrong wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »So about the bra or no bra boob sagging debate
So wearing a bra keeps them in place, but is it better to not wear one so the muscles have work to hold them up?
I am in the it is better not to wear one so the muscles have to work club. I have not had any complaints in the "they look good" department so there must be some truth to it.
The whole you have to wear a bra 24/7 thing is a myth. Probably made up by bra manufacturers to make more money. If I could, I would never wear one ever but unfortunately, I do have to wear one to work at least.
I have missed this thread!
So does it actually work your muscle somehow? I’m so confused by all of that. Should I put kettlebells in my bra or will I get hit on too much?
Recent studies show that wearing a bra actually makes your breasts lazy. The tissues and muscles are being supported and don't have to work which in turn changes the shape of your breasts, not for the better.
Not wearing a bra makes these tissues and muscles work, lifting them somewhat and giving them a nicer shape.
As for the kettlebells, please please please try it and report your findings here!
Confession: I’m already doing it.1
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