Minor rant

Achrya

First, "very muscular" to me is when they use outside help to bulk up like men. Second, I don't like my body type. I gain weight too easily, it sucks. I am jealous of toned women, but I'm not angry. More like they are my motivation?

Still doesn't make it ok to body shame. :noway:

Pretty sure I was only referring to women inject themselves, not women who lift weight. I'm lifting weights myself try to build muscle.

You just can't stop digging that hole can you?

CoderGal

First, "very muscular" to me is when they use outside help to bulk up like men. Second, I don't like my body type. I gain weight too easily, it sucks. I am jealous of toned women, but I'm not angry. More like they are my motivation?

Still doesn't make it ok to body shame. :noway:

Pretty sure I was only referring to women inject themselves, not women who lift weight. I'm lifting weights myself try to build muscle.

STILL NOT OK

How do you not get this - it is never ok to body shame. :noway:

this

CarmenSRT

possibly she is jealous of you after all, it sounds like it- and you being new there, she might not have felt she had any competition for attractiveness at the office before you came and now she is not comfortable with it- also she may constantly strive to get thinner and not succeed and thus feel threatened by you? at any rate, what matters is how your health is, so ignore her

Or maybe she genuinely thinks the OP looked beautiful while heavier.

A lot of you seem happy to assume cattiness in women when no evidence of catty behavior is given, and that kind of disturbs me. Why is it so much easier to believe in jealousy or that other people feel threatened/inadequate over simple honesty? it's like all those "i lost weight and I feel like my husband isn't interested anymore!!!" Posts, where people hurry to say the husband is insecure and worried his newly slim wife will leave. Or maybe he met and married her when she was heavier and that's what he likes? No? He must be insecure and jealous and SABOTAGE!

I have some theories (mostly relating to that some believe that thin is best and the idea that other people think differently blows their minds) but I'd love to have it explained from someone who thinks that way.


Also, in regards to women at heavier weights, I'm 5'3" and I weigh...a bit. Even my goal is above the OP's current weight and, when I get to said goal, I intend to bulk to gain muscle and thus put on more weight. On purpose. And just as I look great now I'll look great then. Dealwithit.gif

Yeah I don't have any reason to believe my coworker was being catty at all - I can *usually* tell the difference. People have different ideas of what beauty is, and that's okay. I think she just had a case of no mouth filter at the moment.

Culturally though, I'm still under the belief that it's rude to tell somebody that you are not their idea of beautiful, or that you think that they are ugly, or to point out a physical flaw, even if it's true. It's very impolite.

Ah, now I see where you're coming from. To me, lies of any sort are the worst social sin a person can commit. Someone who tells "little white lies" is a liar. Period. If a person cannot tell the truth in small things they cannot be trusted to do so when it really matters. The person who tells me unpleasant truths is the person I can trust when things go to crap.

CoderGal

Or my friend - 5"11 weight 190lbs in this pic

(oh and she lifts heavy)



Yep - she looks AWFUL I bet with the extra 10lbs she's be hideous :noway:

edit: yes I have permission to post this here.
and I think she is awesome btw.

I love that girl! She's quite the sweet quick witted knowledgeable one.

Yeah, I find it entertaining that the girl that is body shaming and thinks people can't look good at higher weights complains about her thigh fat meanwhile these are pics of the same to-heavy-to-be-attractive girl above:




Pretty sure I've seen a few straight girls go lesbian over her

hrtchoco

I have 157 lbs of lean muscle mass at 5 ft 9" and my current goal weight is 200lbs which would put me at 25% body fat. And I'm going to look terrible? I believe you think tiny is the only size that looks good on women. Good for you...people are beautiful and strong who, when confident, can look AMAZING regardless. That's right, confidence is attractive, who gives a rats *kitten* what they weigh, how much muscle they have, etc?

PS - 18" arms are amazing on a woman who uses those arms to comfort a child, bring home the bacon, mow the lawn, do the dishes or lift weights, whatever she chooses to do.

Cool it.

OP - you're gorgeous if you think you are - opinions are opinions, you have yours and dismiss those that don't fit your goals or dreams as long as you're healthy.

I'm sure you gonna look great. My hubby has 18inch arms, and I think they are too big. I can't see those arms on a girl. But let's be realistic, every girl wants to be thinner, even the really thin girls. Once you reached your goal weight, there is a good chance that you will reset it to a new goal weight.

Here is the thing, when I was calculating my hubby's bmi (he's 6'2"), in order to be within healthy range, he has to be at 195lbs. Also, he was around 200lbs in high school, and according to him, he was chubby. Btw, he does lift weights and max out on all machines.

RoadsterGirlie

I don't think that pointing out that injecting steroids is unhealthy is the same thing as body shaming. It's pointing out that it's unhealthy.

I also don't think that pointing out that eating 500 calories a day is body shaming. It's pointing out that it's unhealthy.

Also, pointing out that smoking and eating 5000 calories a day worth of Burger King is also unhealthy? Same thing - not body shaming.

Be the best you can be for yourself - nobody else will.

I think I know now the thing that has irked me so much about certain posters in this thread in regards to body shaming. Many woman don't feel good about themselves already, even if they are at a normal weight and are eating healthy. I feel very lucky to not be one of them - I don't focus on my flaws and only on what I've achieved.

However, even though I don't subscribe to focusing on my own flaws (and I do have them), others are now doing it for me.

We as women really can't win.

hrtchoco

Or my friend - 5"11 weight 190lbs in this pic

(oh and she lifts heavy)



Yep - she looks AWFUL I bet with the extra 10lbs she's be hideous :noway:

edit: yes I have permission to post this here.
and I think she is awesome btw.

She does look fine.

CoderGal

I have 157 lbs of lean muscle mass at 5 ft 9" and my current goal weight is 200lbs which would put me at 25% body fat. And I'm going to look terrible? I believe you think tiny is the only size that looks good on women. Good for you...people are beautiful and strong who, when confident, can look AMAZING regardless. That's right, confidence is attractive, who gives a rats *kitten* what they weigh, how much muscle they have, etc?

PS - 18" arms are amazing on a woman who uses those arms to comfort a child, bring home the bacon, mow the lawn, do the dishes or lift weights, whatever she chooses to do.

Cool it.

OP - you're gorgeous if you think you are - opinions are opinions, you have yours and dismiss those that don't fit your goals or dreams as long as you're healthy.

I'm sure you gonna look great. My hubby has 18inch arms, and I think they are too big. I can't see those arms on a girl. But let's be realistic, every girl wants to be thinner, even the really thin girls. Once you reached your goal weight, there is a good chance that you will reset it to a new goal weight[/b].

Here is the thing, when I was calculating my hubby's bmi (he's 6'2"), in order to be within healthy range, he has to be at 195lbs. Also, he was around 200lbs in high school, and according to him, he was chubby. Btw, he does lift weights and max out on all machines.

um, no. My goal was 120...I'm now purposely heavier with a much flatter stomach might I add.

Zomoniac

I can only assume that girl drinks lead. I'm 6'0" and 165lbs and still have a lot to lose, and I'm male. My last girlfriend was 6'0" and 154lbs and looked amazing. Unless they're actually bodybuilding I cannot begin to imagine how any female who wasn't an actual giant or at the very least had unfeasibly large breasts could be that heavy without carrying a fair amount of excess fat.

Mia_RagazzaTosta

I have 157 lbs of lean muscle mass at 5 ft 9" and my current goal weight is 200lbs which would put me at 25% body fat. And I'm going to look terrible? I believe you think tiny is the only size that looks good on women. Good for you...people are beautiful and strong who, when confident, can look AMAZING regardless. That's right, confidence is attractive, who gives a rats *kitten* what they weigh, how much muscle they have, etc?

PS - 18" arms are amazing on a woman who uses those arms to comfort a child, bring home the bacon, mow the lawn, do the dishes or lift weights, whatever she chooses to do.

Cool it.

OP - you're gorgeous if you think you are - opinions are opinions, you have yours and dismiss those that don't fit your goals or dreams as long as you're healthy.

But let's be realistic, every girl wants to be thinner, even the really thin girls. Once you reached your goal weight, there is a good chance that you will reset it to a new goal weight.

Seriously, you need to step away from the keyboard.

There are a number of women who get to their goal weight and (GASP) turn around and start bulking. So, no, not "every girl wants to be thinner, even the really thin girls."

RGv2

I can only assume that girl drinks lead. I'm 6'0" and 165lbs and still have a lot to lose, and I'm male. My last girlfriend was 6'0" and 154lbs and looked amazing. Unless they're actually bodybuilding I cannot begin to imagine how any female who wasn't an actual giant or at the very least had unfeasibly large breasts could be that heavy without carrying a fair amount of excess fat.

Honest, you're probably not carrying around a lot of muscle mass then. I'm 5'7" 215, 34" waist.

Achrya

I have 157 lbs of lean muscle mass at 5 ft 9" and my current goal weight is 200lbs which would put me at 25% body fat. And I'm going to look terrible? I believe you think tiny is the only size that looks good on women. Good for you...people are beautiful and strong who, when confident, can look AMAZING regardless. That's right, confidence is attractive, who gives a rats *kitten* what they weigh, how much muscle they have, etc?

PS - 18" arms are amazing on a woman who uses those arms to comfort a child, bring home the bacon, mow the lawn, do the dishes or lift weights, whatever she chooses to do.

Cool it.

OP - you're gorgeous if you think you are - opinions are opinions, you have yours and dismiss those that don't fit your goals or dreams as long as you're healthy.

I'm sure you gonna look great. My hubby has 18inch arms, and I think they are too big. I can't see those arms on a girl. But let's be realistic, every girl wants to be thinner, even the really thin girls. Once you reached your goal weight, there is a good chance that you will reset it to a new goal weight.

Here is the thing, when I was calculating my hubby's bmi (he's 6'2"), in order to be within healthy range, he has to be at 195lbs. Also, he was around 200lbs in high school, and according to him, he was chubby. Btw, he does lift weights and max out on all machines.

I have no desire to weigh significantly less (i often look at myself and say 'i don't need to lose that fifteen. I'm damn happy here) or be really thin. I want to be muscular, bad *kitten*, strong, and have arms that make people double take. And being thin is great (Coder is 'thin' and she's a hottie) but you shouldn't assume that's a goal for all people.

Iron_Feline

I don't think that pointing out that injecting steroids is unhealthy is the same thing as body shaming. It's pointing out that it's unhealthy.

I also don't think that pointing out that eating 500 calories a day is body shaming. It's pointing out that it's unhealthy.

Also, pointing out that smoking and eating 5000 calories a day worth of Burger King is also unhealthy? Same thing - not body shaming.

Be the best you can be for yourself - nobody else will.

I think I know now the thing that has irked me so much about certain posters in this thread in regards to body shaming. Many woman don't feel good about themselves already, even if they are at a normal weight and are eating healthy. I feel very lucky to not be one of them - I don't focus on my flaws and only on what I've achieved.

However, even though I don't subscribe to focusing on my own flaws (and I do have them), others are now doing it for me.

We as women really can't win.

but she didn't say that she said - and I quote

Women don't look good "very muscular"

That is body shaming.

RoadsterGirlie

possibly she is jealous of you after all, it sounds like it- and you being new there, she might not have felt she had any competition for attractiveness at the office before you came and now she is not comfortable with it- also she may constantly strive to get thinner and not succeed and thus feel threatened by you? at any rate, what matters is how your health is, so ignore her

Or maybe she genuinely thinks the OP looked beautiful while heavier.

A lot of you seem happy to assume cattiness in women when no evidence of catty behavior is given, and that kind of disturbs me. Why is it so much easier to believe in jealousy or that other people feel threatened/inadequate over simple honesty? it's like all those "i lost weight and I feel like my husband isn't interested anymore!!!" Posts, where people hurry to say the husband is insecure and worried his newly slim wife will leave. Or maybe he met and married her when she was heavier and that's what he likes? No? He must be insecure and jealous and SABOTAGE!

I have some theories (mostly relating to that some believe that thin is best and the idea that other people think differently blows their minds) but I'd love to have it explained from someone who thinks that way.


Also, in regards to women at heavier weights, I'm 5'3" and I weigh...a bit. Even my goal is above the OP's current weight and, when I get to said goal, I intend to bulk to gain muscle and thus put on more weight. On purpose. And just as I look great now I'll look great then. Dealwithit.gif

Yeah I don't have any reason to believe my coworker was being catty at all - I can *usually* tell the difference. People have different ideas of what beauty is, and that's okay. I think she just had a case of no mouth filter at the moment.

Culturally though, I'm still under the belief that it's rude to tell somebody that you are not their idea of beautiful, or that you think that they are ugly, or to point out a physical flaw, even if it's true. It's very impolite.

Ah, now I see where you're coming from. To me, lies of any sort are the worst social sin a person can commit. Someone who tells "little white lies" is a liar. Period. If a person cannot tell the truth in small things they cannot be trusted to do so when it really matters. The person who tells me unpleasant truths is the person I can trust when things go to crap.

True that! You're right, I work with this girl, and outside of this discussion I've had with her, she has a great work ethic and is great at what she does. She is somebody I would consider trust worthy. She just didn't have a filter that day, so whatever. It is what it is.

However, in general, not talking specially about my coworker anymore, I'm still of the mindset that making the decision to not point out a physical flaw in somebody isn't the same thing as lying.

Otterluv

Or my friend - 5"11 weight 190lbs in this pic

(oh and she lifts heavy)



Yep - she looks AWFUL I bet with the extra 10lbs she's be hideous :noway:

edit: yes I have permission to post this here.
and I think she is awesome btw.

I love that girl! She's quite the sweet quick witted knowledgeable one.

Yeah, I find it entertaining that the girl that is body shaming and thinks people can't look good at higher weights complains about her thigh fat meanwhile these are pics of the same to-heavy-to-be-attractive girl above:




Pretty sure I've seen a few straight girls go lesbian over her

Truth

RoadsterGirlie

I don't think that pointing out that injecting steroids is unhealthy is the same thing as body shaming. It's pointing out that it's unhealthy.

I also don't think that pointing out that eating 500 calories a day is body shaming. It's pointing out that it's unhealthy.

Also, pointing out that smoking and eating 5000 calories a day worth of Burger King is also unhealthy? Same thing - not body shaming.

Be the best you can be for yourself - nobody else will.

I think I know now the thing that has irked me so much about certain posters in this thread in regards to body shaming. Many woman don't feel good about themselves already, even if they are at a normal weight and are eating healthy. I feel very lucky to not be one of them - I don't focus on my flaws and only on what I've achieved.

However, even though I don't subscribe to focusing on my own flaws (and I do have them), others are now doing it for me.

We as women really can't win.

but she didn't say that she said - and I quote

Women don't look good "very muscular"

That is body shaming.

100% agreed. If I looked "muscular" I would feel a bit insulted - especially if I've worked hard to get that way.

DashDeV

In for more hot pics of Jules.

hrtchoco

I love that girl! She's quite the sweet quick witted knowledgeable one.

Yeah, I find it entertaining that the girl that is body shaming and thinks people can't look good at higher weights complains about her thigh fat

My hubby is 6'2" and he was 200lbs in high school. He said he was chubby. 200lbs is on the "over weight" side of bmi for his height. Pretty sure it's better to have bmi within normal range. If you think pointing out the obvious is body shaming, then I have nothing to say.

Iron_Feline

I love that girl! She's quite the sweet quick witted knowledgeable one.

Yeah, I find it entertaining that the girl that is body shaming and thinks people can't look good at higher weights complains about her thigh fat

My hubby is 6'2" and he was 200lbs in high school. He said he was chubby. 200lbs is on the "over weight" side of bmi for his height. Pretty sure it's better to have bmi within normal range. If you think pointing out the obvious is body shaming, then I have nothing to say.

That's probably for the best.

FYI lots and lots of athletic people are in the overweight BMI as it does not take into account muscle mass and was devised to measure a large number of people - not really individuals.

Achrya

I can only assume that girl drinks lead. I'm 6'0" and 165lbs and still have a lot to lose, and I'm male. My last girlfriend was 6'0" and 154lbs and looked amazing. Unless they're actually bodybuilding I cannot begin to imagine how any female who wasn't an actual giant or at the very least had unfeasibly large breasts could be that heavy without carrying a fair amount of excess fat.

My husband is 5'11" and 157 pounds. He's kinda soft and pudgy which made him think he needed to lose more weight. I had to sit him down and explain that he's skinny fat and, that while I love him, losing weight was just make him crack head skinny fat because he has such little muscle mass.


....this may be what you're experiencing.