Minor rant

RoadsterGirlie

I relocated out of state for a job about a year and a half ago. Nobody in this office has ever known me to be overweight, although I have shared with a few people my weight loss journey.

One woman who I normally get a long great with asked to see a picture of the overweight me. I really don't like showing those to people, and told her so, but pulled one out anyways off my phone.

She said, "Wow you look beautiful there. You actually look better with a little weight on you than you do now."

Ouch.

Hello - I was over 200 lbs in that picture. I did not feel beautiful, was not healthy, and was eating like crap. I personally don't think ANYBODY looks good with excess fat on them, and I am not an exception.

She then started asking others to see if they shared the same opinion - nobody would touch that one with a 10 foot pole, especially the men.


She herself is a very fit person, eats right and exercises, so I know this didn't stem from jealosy - I think she was just being honest. Maybe she was trying to make me feel better about showing her that picture, but in my head all it did was confuse the hell out of me.

I know other people's opinions shouldn't matter, but I would be lying if it didn't hurt my feelings. The message I got from that was that even though I'm now healthy, have more energy and can perform physical feats that I couldn't before, I look better when I'm pudgy, squishy, can't do a push up to save my life because I'm too heavy, and can't fit into normal sized clothes.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

TheGymGypsy

Maybe she doesn't like having attractive competition in the office? :P

QuilterInVA

Checked your profitle and you are underweight for 5'9". Maybe she has a point.

MackLuster77

Sounds like she put your co-workers in an awkward position. I saw one of your older pictures. Nothing wrong with it, but you look better now. Try not to let people's odd opinions affect you too much.

Amy106Days

You must have been a stone fox in that picture because you are gorgeous now.

RoadsterGirlie

I have a fine build and eat 2200 calories a day.

I am not underweight - I am fit.

kerricolby

This is jealousy, pure and simple. She's trying to make you feel insecure and make herself feel better. She also might have some boundary issues. Asking to see a heavier pic of you after you said you didn't like to show people old pics is crossing the line.

Danette73

I would hope that she was just trying to say that you were beautiful then and now and that weight didn't matter. Maybe it came out wrong and she didn't know how to fix what she said so that is why she asked the other people. You have done great and are an inspiration so try not to let it bother you too much.

I will say this.... I am over 200 now and have a long way to go but I have lost a lot of weight before and it was hard for ME to see myself smaller because I was so used to being overweight all my life and the compliments actually scared me I guess. That's something I will have to work on.

But you look totally awesome and have done great!!!!!!

thatonegirlinohio

Some people are jealous when other people have attention or accomplish something awesome. To make herself feel better, she put an accomplishment of yours in a negative light.

Brush it off and show her it doesn't bother you even if it does.

You look great, btw. Good job.

Tiffa0909

Maybe she has a different perception of beauty , what matter is that you are happy with the way you look. Take it as a compliment and don't think about it.

deksgrl

Well, one photo, seen on the display of your phone, hardly tells the whole story does it? Pay no attention. As long as you are happy with yourself then it doesn't matter.

RoadsterGirlie

Thanks everybody for the reassurance. You all are the best. She doesn't strike me as the jealous or catty type at all, which is why it hurt my feelings as much as it did, and caught me by surprise.

horrorstory

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
Before and after weight loss.

itsscottwilder

You look great. Don't let anyone steal your joy.

cmcollins001

Some people, when they are successful losing weight, sometimes go a little too far and end up losing too much weight. It has a lot to do with self image and still seeing yourself fat as opposed to the reality of what you really look like and what other people see.

You said, " I personally don't think ANYBODY looks good with excess fat on them, and I am not an exception. "...well, I personally think you're wrong. I like women with a little "meat on the bones" as much, and sometimes better than someone who is labelled fit. It's all personal opinion and choice.

I have a friend, who at one time, dropped 100 lbs and ended up weighing in around 150 lbs...in my opinion he looked like he was on crack and was just too thin and looked awful. He finally realized that it was time to quit losing and it would be good if he gained some weight and got back up to 175 where he said he felt he not only looked his best, but felt his best.

To me, you have a very narrow image of what's "normal".

Don't get me wrong, you should be proud of your accomplishments, but just because you feel you need to look a certain way or think you look better at a certain size, doesn't mean others aren't able to have their own opinions as well. Looking over your pictures, the one with your ribcage sticking out seems as though you're too thin in my opinion. But that's just me.

wannabpiper

Maybe she doesn't like having attractive competition in the office? :P

That!

TheCaren

I can't say what your co-worker was thinking with that comment, because even if it was factual, it was a dumb, thoughtless thing to say.

I will say that I have been amazed at how old I look now even with only 45 pound weight loss. So maybe she was referencing something like that.

Or sadly, she might have been trying to say you were beautiful regardless of your size and she said it in a dumb, hurtful way. I'm finding that most of the time my feelings are hurt by the comments of others, they have no malice intended in their comments. Makes it a little easier to take when they say something dumb.

YaGigi

Even though it was mean of her to talk like this and involve others, I see her point.

Some people lose weight and their faces get older. When fat is gone you can see all the wrinkles. Face also loses that baby face features most overweight people have.

You look great and you've successed amazingly! Your belly is so flat and no excess skin! Please share your tips

MSam1205

Love the new you! I would kill to be the old you, but we all have our comfort zones and you need to maybe just get a bit more comfortable with where you are now and then walk like a duck and let her comments roll off your back :laugh:

msjames1999

This is jealousy, pure and simple. She's trying to make you feel insecure and make herself feel better. She also might have some boundary issues. Asking to see a heavier pic of you after you said you didn't like to show people old pics is crossing the line.

I totally agee!

TheRealParisLove

This makes me glad that I don't have any before photos. I know I was fat, I don't need the photos to prove it. I happily deleted any photos when I was at my highest weight that were not a head shot.

Shrug it off and move on. Her opinion is just that, an opinion. You don't share that opinion with her, and that's ok. Agree to disagree.