Are you over it?
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It started posting in the selfie thread about 2 months after I became active on the forums. I would look at everyone's selfies, but I felt very self conscious about posting my own. When I did, I was surprised by the outpouring of compliments. Sure, not all of them were genuine, but the combination of that and losing weight really helped me find confidence in myself.
I appreciate everyone who made an effort to say say something nice even out of politeness. Some days the validation helps cheer me up. Other times, I want to show off my handsome boyfriend or the progress that my body is making. I feel more comfortable posting selfies here than I do on Facebook. I don't want people in real life to think I'm vain.
I confess, I'm guilty of judging the daily selfie posters. (Don't lie,you know you are too.)
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »It started posting in the selfie thread about 2 months after I became active on the forums. I would look at everyone's selfies, but I felt very self conscious about posting my own. When I did, I was surprised by the outpouring of compliments. Sure, not all of them were genuine, but the combination of that and losing weight really helped me find confidence in myself.
I appreciate everyone who made an effort to say say something nice even out of politeness. Some days the validation helps cheer me up. Other times, I want to show off my handsome boyfriend or the progress that my body is making. I feel more comfortable posting selfies here than I do on Facebook. I don't want people in real life to think I'm vain.
I confess, I'm guilty of judging the daily selfie posters. (Don't lie,you know you are too.)
When I was posting selfies I did it because it was silly filter selfie day, or my makeup looked damn good. I didn't get near as many comments as others though. Do I need validation? No. But that thread shows me there are obvious favorites around here and I just ain't one of them. That won't stop me from making comments up in the *kitten* though. I may stay behind my phone but imma speak my mind. I give compliments when due, not to fluff egos.8 -
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Wasn't the internet invented as a competition for attention?
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Ur funnybeingmore1 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »It started posting in the selfie thread about 2 months after I became active on the forums. I would look at everyone's selfies, but I felt very self conscious about posting my own. When I did, I was surprised by the outpouring of compliments. Sure, not all of them were genuine, but the combination of that and losing weight really helped me find confidence in myself.
I appreciate everyone who made an effort to say say something nice even out of politeness. Some days the validation helps cheer me up. Other times, I want to show off my handsome boyfriend or the progress that my body is making. I feel more comfortable posting selfies here than I do on Facebook. I don't want people in real life to think I'm vain.
I confess, I'm guilty of judging the daily selfie posters. (Don't lie,you know you are too.)
I was so scared the first selfies I posted. And I was sad because nobody commented on them, but they did blow up all the comments on the dogs (puppy) that posted after me. So, I used the selfie as kind of a therapy...I was terrified to do it but I was bound and determined to do it anyways to prove to myself that nobody notices me, nobody cares about me, and that you know what...it doesn't matter. So I did. I kept posting. Then people commented and complimented, some genuine, some polite, some not so polite. And you know what? I survived. I was a-ok. That helped me gain confidence in myself just the way I was. When I lost more weight and felt better I had even more confidence and probably posted too many. But, I wanted people to see that you could actually feel good about yourself, even if you have terrible self perception like I do. Now I'm fat and feel ugly like bull testicles. So selfies are rare, unless I have a good day. Doesn't mean I need you to lie to me and say "you're stunning!" I post them more to say, hey I'm still here. I'm ok. Its not so bad. But, thats just me.
but guys will compliment anything....I have found.
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_Deadman_Walking_ wrote: »As someone who has never had a shred of confidence in himself of how he looks, it was embarassingly easier than it should have been to fall under the MFP validation spell. I could count on one hand, the times in my life I had received a compliment in real life, so to come here and receive them often was exciting to say the least. However, with time I saw it for what it really was... smoke. Nothing more. I still put up the occasional selfie if I'm feeling a rare moment of confidence, but the outcome of that has much less bearing on how my day ends. Of course, it is always nice to read a pleasant comment on how someone appreciates your appearance, but it's not something I crave anymore.
Okay, I don't hand out compliments often. But that pic of you in the selfie thread where you were fully bearded and needed to go outside to take a break from a crying baby...your eyes looked incredible in that photo. The appearance of poignancy and sensitivity conveyed by your expression, along with the structural, physical beauty of your eyes was stunning. 10 out of 10.
That's an incredibly kind thing to say. It's been a *kitten* day, so I'm going to take it as genuine. Thank you.2 -
Ur funnybeingmore1 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »It started posting in the selfie thread about 2 months after I became active on the forums. I would look at everyone's selfies, but I felt very self conscious about posting my own. When I did, I was surprised by the outpouring of compliments. Sure, not all of them were genuine, but the combination of that and losing weight really helped me find confidence in myself.
I appreciate everyone who made an effort to say say something nice even out of politeness. Some days the validation helps cheer me up. Other times, I want to show off my handsome boyfriend or the progress that my body is making. I feel more comfortable posting selfies here than I do on Facebook. I don't want people in real life to think I'm vain.
I confess, I'm guilty of judging the daily selfie posters. (Don't lie,you know you are too.)
I was so scared the first selfies I posted. And I was sad because nobody commented on them, but they did blow up all the comments on the dogs (puppy) that posted after me. So, I used the selfie as kind of a therapy...I was terrified to do it but I was bound and determined to do it anyways to prove to myself that nobody notices me, nobody cares about me, and that you know what...it doesn't matter. So I did. I kept posting. Then people commented and complimented, some genuine, some polite, some not so polite. And you know what? I survived. I was a-ok. That helped me gain confidence in myself just the way I was. When I lost more weight and felt better I had even more confidence and probably posted too many. But, I wanted people to see that you could actually feel good about yourself, even if you have terrible self perception like I do. Now I'm fat and feel ugly like bull testicles. So selfies are rare, unless I have a good day. Doesn't mean I need you to lie to me and say "you're stunning!" I post them more to say, hey I'm still here. I'm ok. Its not so bad. But, thats just me.
but guys will compliment anything....I have found.
:P deleting cause don't need the drama today2 -
are you stalking me?
Ur funnybeingmore1 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »It started posting in the selfie thread about 2 months after I became active on the forums. I would look at everyone's selfies, but I felt very self conscious about posting my own. When I did, I was surprised by the outpouring of compliments. Sure, not all of them were genuine, but the combination of that and losing weight really helped me find confidence in myself.
I appreciate everyone who made an effort to say say something nice even out of politeness. Some days the validation helps cheer me up. Other times, I want to show off my handsome boyfriend or the progress that my body is making. I feel more comfortable posting selfies here than I do on Facebook. I don't want people in real life to think I'm vain.
I confess, I'm guilty of judging the daily selfie posters. (Don't lie,you know you are too.)
I was so scared the first selfies I posted. And I was sad because nobody commented on them, but they did blow up all the comments on the dogs (puppy) that posted after me. So, I used the selfie as kind of a therapy...I was terrified to do it but I was bound and determined to do it anyways to prove to myself that nobody notices me, nobody cares about me, and that you know what...it doesn't matter. So I did. I kept posting. Then people commented and complimented, some genuine, some polite, some not so polite. And you know what? I survived. I was a-ok. That helped me gain confidence in myself just the way I was. When I lost more weight and felt better I had even more confidence and probably posted too many. But, I wanted people to see that you could actually feel good about yourself, even if you have terrible self perception like I do. Now I'm fat and feel ugly like bull testicles. So selfies are rare, unless I have a good day. Doesn't mean I need you to lie to me and say "you're stunning!" I post them more to say, hey I'm still here. I'm ok. Its not so bad. But, thats just me.
but guys will compliment anything....I have found.
:P deleting cause don't need the drama today
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are you stalking me?
Ur funnybeingmore1 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »It started posting in the selfie thread about 2 months after I became active on the forums. I would look at everyone's selfies, but I felt very self conscious about posting my own. When I did, I was surprised by the outpouring of compliments. Sure, not all of them were genuine, but the combination of that and losing weight really helped me find confidence in myself.
I appreciate everyone who made an effort to say say something nice even out of politeness. Some days the validation helps cheer me up. Other times, I want to show off my handsome boyfriend or the progress that my body is making. I feel more comfortable posting selfies here than I do on Facebook. I don't want people in real life to think I'm vain.
I confess, I'm guilty of judging the daily selfie posters. (Don't lie,you know you are too.)
I was so scared the first selfies I posted. And I was sad because nobody commented on them, but they did blow up all the comments on the dogs (puppy) that posted after me. So, I used the selfie as kind of a therapy...I was terrified to do it but I was bound and determined to do it anyways to prove to myself that nobody notices me, nobody cares about me, and that you know what...it doesn't matter. So I did. I kept posting. Then people commented and complimented, some genuine, some polite, some not so polite. And you know what? I survived. I was a-ok. That helped me gain confidence in myself just the way I was. When I lost more weight and felt better I had even more confidence and probably posted too many. But, I wanted people to see that you could actually feel good about yourself, even if you have terrible self perception like I do. Now I'm fat and feel ugly like bull testicles. So selfies are rare, unless I have a good day. Doesn't mean I need you to lie to me and say "you're stunning!" I post them more to say, hey I'm still here. I'm ok. Its not so bad. But, thats just me.
but guys will compliment anything....I have found.
:P deleting cause don't need the drama today
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are you stalking me?
Ur funnybeingmore1 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »It started posting in the selfie thread about 2 months after I became active on the forums. I would look at everyone's selfies, but I felt very self conscious about posting my own. When I did, I was surprised by the outpouring of compliments. Sure, not all of them were genuine, but the combination of that and losing weight really helped me find confidence in myself.
I appreciate everyone who made an effort to say say something nice even out of politeness. Some days the validation helps cheer me up. Other times, I want to show off my handsome boyfriend or the progress that my body is making. I feel more comfortable posting selfies here than I do on Facebook. I don't want people in real life to think I'm vain.
I confess, I'm guilty of judging the daily selfie posters. (Don't lie,you know you are too.)
I was so scared the first selfies I posted. And I was sad because nobody commented on them, but they did blow up all the comments on the dogs (puppy) that posted after me. So, I used the selfie as kind of a therapy...I was terrified to do it but I was bound and determined to do it anyways to prove to myself that nobody notices me, nobody cares about me, and that you know what...it doesn't matter. So I did. I kept posting. Then people commented and complimented, some genuine, some polite, some not so polite. And you know what? I survived. I was a-ok. That helped me gain confidence in myself just the way I was. When I lost more weight and felt better I had even more confidence and probably posted too many. But, I wanted people to see that you could actually feel good about yourself, even if you have terrible self perception like I do. Now I'm fat and feel ugly like bull testicles. So selfies are rare, unless I have a good day. Doesn't mean I need you to lie to me and say "you're stunning!" I post them more to say, hey I'm still here. I'm ok. Its not so bad. But, thats just me.
but guys will compliment anything....I have found.
:P deleting cause don't need the drama today
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im less of an arsehole when im online0
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TeinyWinehausen wrote: »
my dad still insists to my mom that i didnt get enough smacking as a kid to set me right. it is what it is haha.0 -
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@MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »All this fake vs. genuine compliment thing is very irritating. I've seen people here lose their *kitten* *kitten* because someone said "pretty" instead of "beautiful" or "handsome" instead of "hot".
It's a compliment. It's like a gift, chosen by the gift giver to hopefully make you happy. But constantly analyzing whether it's genuine or not just makes me not want to compliment anyone.
I won't say the right thing, or word it the right way, and even if I manage to you won't believe me. So many times I only compliment my friends now because strangers seem to get upset by compliments.
Well-said, handsome!
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browneyedgirl749 wrote: »
When I was posting selfies I did it because it was silly filter selfie day, or my makeup looked damn good. I didn't get near as many comments as others though. Do I need validation? No. But that thread shows me there are obvious favorites around here and I just ain't one of them. That won't stop me from making comments up in the *kitten* though. I may stay behind my phone but imma speak my mind. I give compliments when due, not to fluff egos.
I'm not sure if you mean that I'm one of the favorites or if you were talking about the orginal topic in general.I honestly don't know what to say. I know you get upset when people don't respond back, but please know that 90% of the time my silence is out of lack of words, not rudeness. I don't like talking for the sake of talking.0 -
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I think that selfies on MFP are a different animal than selfies on general social media. When I have a FB friend post a picture of himself/herself seatbelted into their vehicle and essentially alone doing nothing interesting, I don't know what message that is sending. It seems like a cry for help, because they aren't actually doing anything but begging for attention / validation through likes. MFP selfies seem to actually serve a purpose in a lot of cases, serving to document fitness goals achieved and provide motivation for others.1
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beingmore1 wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »All this fake vs. genuine compliment thing is very irritating. I've seen people here lose their *kitten* *kitten* because someone said "pretty" instead of "beautiful" or "handsome" instead of "hot".
It's a compliment. It's like a gift, chosen by the gift giver to hopefully make you happy. But constantly analyzing whether it's genuine or not just makes me not want to compliment anyone.
I won't say the right thing, or word it the right way, and even if I manage to you won't believe me. So many times I only compliment my friends now because strangers seem to get upset by compliments.
A compliment is like a gift. I love that! Well said. So you think the phrase....Beauty is in the eye of the beholder....should perhaps be remembered a bit more around here, then?
I have seen people get angry about the stuff you mentioned. Saying handsome and not "hot" especially. That was hard to wrap my brain around .
Completely. Some people will think one person is stunning while I'm thinking ehhh...they're okay and vice versa. But I agree that a compliment should not be analyzed for authenticity. Accept it gracefully and move the eff on.0 -
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »
When I was posting selfies I did it because it was silly filter selfie day, or my makeup looked damn good. I didn't get near as many comments as others though. Do I need validation? No. But that thread shows me there are obvious favorites around here and I just ain't one of them. That won't stop me from making comments up in the *kitten* though. I may stay behind my phone but imma speak my mind. I give compliments when due, not to fluff egos.
I'm not sure if you mean that I'm one of the favorites or if you were talking about the orginal topic in general.I honestly don't know what to say. I know you get upset when people don't respond back, but please know that 90% of the time my silence is out of lack of words, not rudeness. I don't like talking for the sake of talking.
It was for the original topic. You mentioned something and I just ran with my thoughts on it, not saying you were a favorite. I got nothing but luv for ya
. I don't get upset when people don't respond. It's hurtful when people make it flat out obvious that they look right over what I say because I'm not a member of the favorites club. I still keep on saying what I want, when I want to. I've just changed what I comment and post on. 2 -
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beingmore1 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »
When I was posting selfies I did it because it was silly filter selfie day, or my makeup looked damn good. I didn't get near as many comments as others though. Do I need validation? No. But that thread shows me there are obvious favorites around here and I just ain't one of them. That won't stop me from making comments up in the *kitten* though. I may stay behind my phone but imma speak my mind. I give compliments when due, not to fluff egos.
I'm not sure if you mean that I'm one of the favorites or if you were talking about the orginal topic in general.I honestly don't know what to say. I know you get upset when people don't respond back, but please know that 90% of the time my silence is out of lack of words, not rudeness. I don't like talking for the sake of talking.
It was for the original topic. You mentioned something and I just ran with my thoughts on it, not saying you were a favorite. I got nothing but luv for ya . I don't get upset when people don't respond. It's hurtful when people make it flat out obvious that they look right over what I say because I'm not a member of the favorites club. I still keep on saying what I want, when I want to. I've just changed what I comment and post on.
I keep seeing you say this, yet people respond to you all the time. Not sure what's happening.
You must be seeing the very few times it happens. And the singles thread doesn't count. Lol1
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