Are you over it?

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browneyedgirl749

beingmore1 wrote: »

SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »

_barefoot_ wrote: »

It's nice to hear kind words from peeps not everyone gets to hear it in real life .

Quoted because this is very insightful and something I try to remember. Everyone deserves a kind word.

Let me start off by saying that everyone wants some validation sometimes, it's human nature. Honestly, sometimes I see some very obvious cries for attention and then the debate with myself begins. Ok, so they post selfies everyday and I find it annoying but really who cares?

Me...this is about to get real and I've deleted this more times than I can count but...when I was younger I felt like I needed attention from men so badly, and that came from some pretty bad "daddy issues". I used to feel like I didn't matter unless men desired me but that is a void I thankfully realised only I could fill.

Now, I want people to like me, sure, but I want them to like me for all of me and I'd much rather be told I'm funny or kind or the best at making sandwiches than to be complimented on appearance.

Mostly though, remember to try be nice because everyone is fighting some war and we really don't need to make it harder for each other.

thanks for sharing and yes this is a very valid point.

I'd like to make it clear that in my original Post I wasn't just referring to selfies. I think people seek self validation and attention in a lot of different ways. For example, the friend collectors on here. Some people are very active on mfp and they have a million people on their friends list. Some people have a million posts on here. I am one of those people who post a lot, I have to break up my days somehow. They can't always be just work work work study study study kids kids kids. To me, when I post on here, it is for something fun and entertaining to do now, but it used to be a need...I needed to reach out and talk to people, to connect, to be a part of something, anything. I guess that was attention seeking in a way? So, I feel I have surpassed that need, as for now, its just for fun.

I think a lot of us post here because we like chatting about everyday things with people who have the same health/fitness goals as us. I mean why else would we all be on a fitness site? I find more validation in keeping less friends that actually comment on my food diary than having hundreds of friends here. Once a week I go thru my friends list. I check out their pages. If I don't see them posting statuses or commenting on their friends statuses, I remove them. It's all about quality not quantity right? When you are around the same people everyday, be it at work, school, home... you need an escape. We come here for that escape. Like I said, we all have the same goals, right?

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pinuplove

My observation from 6 years here. There will always be a rotating cast of 'cool kids' club. There will always be the long-term successful kickass posters I'm in awe of. There will always be annoying newbies. The mixture of knowledge, snark, flirtation, and support is awesome.

Doresoontobehealthy

I've been on and off MFP for about 8 years now. Obviously I've struggled with obesity and binge eating for most of my life. I love the idea of having a community of others who are facing similar struggles and sharing. For that reason I liked having friends that could support me and I can do the same for them. Ever since MFP added the "like" feature I feel like most of the verbal affirmation is gone. So sometimes I do try to find other friends in the community who may be more verbal in the support they give. But I don't believe having a large list of friends is important. I definitely feel it's the quality not the quantity.

smantha32

beingmore1 wrote: »

Avocado_AS5 wrote: »

I post selfies when I'm having a good hair day, which is sometimes rare when you have naturally curly hair and it calls for photo documentation.
And hell yes sometimes I need to be validated. You think people in real life at work or on the street are going to blow smoke up my *kitten* and tell me my eyeliner is on point?

But I don't live and die by the opinion of internet friends' opinion of me. I do me for me.

YES!! Were you always this way though? Was there ever a point when mfp WAS the live and die by kind of thing?

It is for some people. I've seen people rage quit and stop working on losing weight because enough people weren't complimenting them.

smantha32

I don't think I use this site for validation.. I use it mostly because I seem to be unable to eat normally without some kind of calorie tracker. If I gain weight and then lose it, I track it in a spreadsheet and not here because it bothers me when people congratulate me for losing weight I gained back because I was lazy or didn't want to stop eating.
I only even use the forums because some of you are fun and interesting and I like reading posts.