Less alcohol- January 2018- one day at a time
Replies
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Cleosweetie wrote: »@dbanks80: "It's like I don't want to go anywhere because I have to deal with the struggle and explaining why I'm not drinking. It's so stressful."
Geez, I hate that you and @JulieAL1969 (and others) have to deal with this! Didn't anyone teach their kids manners?
When I was an older teenager, my mom was getting ready to host people for dinner, and she said something that has always stuck with me: "it's bad manners to ask someone why they aren't drinking alcohol." And adding to that, "It's bad manners to pressure someone to drink. If they say no, move on, without comment."
I’m in the stage of life where for a long time if I didn’t drink at an event people assumed I was pregnant! At least now that we made it “official” that we’re done people have just given me weird looks like “why would you do dry January?”
To Julie’s point with her friend, I think we normalize drinking when we are with like-minded people. I think back to times when people I knew stopped drinking it always made me think about my own alcohol use. People sometimes don’t like or want that reminder!5 -
Has anyone else found that sobriety makes you more anti-social? I feel like i have to plan my non-drinking days for when i am not planning to see any friends specifically. And i often turn down opportunities to hang out with people on days i am trying to avoid alcohol. This seems unhealthy to me as many studies show social connectivity is critical to health/longevity/happiness. I like to feel open to my current social circle and to new people but this seems to always screw with my attempts to resist alcohol. I planned to avoid people saturday (after hosting a party friday night...and drinking as planned). However neighbors we'd never hung out with spontaneously invited us over to a party that afternoon and of course the wine started flowing. I didnt drink to the point of feeling bad but it ended up being a lot over the course of the afternoon into evening. Today i didnt know how to feel about saturday... I met new people, had a good time, laughed a lot....but i drank on a day i hadnt planned to. Ugh. Do others struggle to know the difference between feeling healthy/motivating guilt and guilt that's just because i didnt acheive a specific goal? Does it matter or doesnt it? Hell, i sometimes feel guilty for not exercising even when i have the flu so i am not always sure my "guilt gauge" is reliable...5
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jenifer7teen wrote: »Has anyone else found that sobriety makes you more anti-social?
You know I feel like this has been my biggest victory and learning experience. I feared this aspect of cutting down drinking. And i always felt like if I was going out with people I had to get a buzz on. But I just dived right in to going out with people and not drinking and it has been pretty easy.
I haven’t had any “beer pressure” from friends and coworkers. The only time I was out in public and really felt I needed a drink was in one bar that was packed - i mean standing room only, shoulder to shoulder with people. That got my social anxiety going. But I had two supportive friends with me. And when it got to be a little too much I just left and went home. It felt good5 -
As I planned,I had a couple of drinks with friends on Saturday after a dry 3 weeks. It didn’t taste great, I didn’t feel great and I didn’t feel good on Sunday. It’s galvanized me into carrying on and a realization of what even a small amount of alcohol does to your body.5
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jenifer7teen wrote: »Has anyone else found that sobriety makes you more anti-social? I feel like i have to plan my non-drinking days for when i am not planning to see any friends specifically. And i often turn down opportunities to hang out with people on days i am trying to avoid alcohol. This seems unhealthy to me as many studies show social connectivity is critical to health/longevity/happiness. I like to feel open to my current social circle and to new people but this seems to always screw with my attempts to resist alcohol. I planned to avoid people saturday (after hosting a party friday night...and drinking as planned). However neighbors we'd never hung out with spontaneously invited us over to a party that afternoon and of course the wine started flowing. I didnt drink to the point of feeling bad but it ended up being a lot over the course of the afternoon into evening. Today i didnt know how to feel about saturday... I met new people, had a good time, laughed a lot....but i drank on a day i hadnt planned to. Ugh. Do others struggle to know the difference between feeling healthy/motivating guilt and guilt that's just because i didnt acheive a specific goal? Does it matter or doesnt it? Hell, i sometimes feel guilty for not exercising even when i have the flu so i am not always sure my "guilt gauge" is reliable...
Yes, but I’m kind of anti social and introverted anyway, so I haven’t seen it as a huge drawback. I want to practice though and be able to be like @erikNJ in social situations non-drinking. I have a bit of social anxiety, so especially in my younger years drinking has always helped with self medicating that. As I get older, I care less what people think of me, but the few social situations I find myself in still give me anxiety.5 -
Today marks 2 weeks of abstaining.
I had a thought to see how many calories I’ve “saved” from the challenge here so far.
My typical pattern is to have 1 beer a night and sometimes 2. Never more than 2. As with many of us, along with the drink, comes the snacks.
Here’s what I estimate:
- 21 = Total cans/bottles of beer not drank @ 1per day (14) + 1 for 1/2 amount of days (7)
- 4200 = Cals “saved” from abstaining / est. 200 cals per drink - (200 calories * 21 drinks)
- 5600 = Cals “saved” from not snacking / est. 400 cals per day - (400 calories * 14 days)
- 9800 = Total calories “saved”
My daily maintenance calorie allotment is 1750. That means approx. 5 days of total calories not taken in. This being said, I really haven’t backfilled with other food so I am losing weight that I really don’t want to lose. Need to eat more snacks… At least until I get to the end of Feb, which is my personal challenge.
Just thought I’d share this perspective and perhaps give you something to think about for your own situation.8 -
@Cleosweetie says, "Geez, I hate that you and @JulieAL1969 (and others) have to deal with this! Didn't anyone teach their kids manners?
When I was an older teenager, my mom was getting ready to host people for dinner, and she said something that has always stuck with me: "it's bad manners to ask someone why they aren't drinking alcohol." And adding to that, "It's bad manners to pressure someone to drink. If they say no, move on, without comment." [/quote]"
Nice to see you on the thread again:) I love your mom's advice !
My sister who quit ten years ago, said that when she first quit, it seemed she had a bullseye on her. People were pressuring her to drink. They'd say, why not have one? So, she started to tell people she had a medical condition and that's why she couldnt drink. Too bad she even had to do that.
@slimbyjune18 It was a good experiment to drink after a few weeks off. You can see the difference:) in how you feel and want to feel.
@justlog Good awareness as to how much we are all saving in calories and money, too.
@jenifer7teen I've noticed I've preferred to stay at home doing things around the house than going out to the bars over the last few weeks. And I don't really miss the bars. I'm getting so much more done at home now that I'm not recovering from hangovers.
@MichSmish So true about self-medicating.
@erikNJ You seem to have great supportive friends!
@SanDiegofitmom I read an article that sober is the newest trend. In New York, a few sober bars opened up. I bet they have tasty mocktails!
@Skyweigh Good article! I read it! I love reading about sobriety ; keeps me motivated.1 -
MonkeyMel21 wrote: »No alcohol today! I had a great work out, the house is clean, dinner was good and I’m looking forward to relaxing before bed either watching a movie or reading, and then sleeping through the night with no chance of hangover tomorrow
I got in a great workout too and I even ran a little on the treadmill. I am hoping to do a half marathon this summer. Without hangovers I may be able to accomplish this. I look forward to a good night sleep and the smell of coffee in the AM, it taste good when you are not hungover. Yep another dry night for me.
Awesome goal! I have been running on the treadmill, too. Enjoy your coffee!0 -
@SanDiegofitmom Yes, we do normalize drinking based on who we are with. My sister in law who is sober for 20 years says that she recently felt tempted to have a glass of wine, but she didn't. She's always with all of us who drink at holidays and family events. She also said it's gets tiring always being the DD driver.
I called her yesterday and told her I"m 21 days sober. She confided in me that another family member who was sober for 10 years is now drinking again. A bottle of wine every day.
I think some of us who are abstaining will have to continue to be mindful of the temptations each day. Xo5 -
I have no reason to drink. I just do. Every day I have wine. It's just a habit I guess. I'm over it. It makes me feel like crap. I think this is a good of a time as any to just stop. I'm hoping that it won't be as difficult as I think that it may be...6
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MonkeyMel21 wrote: »No alcohol today! I had a great work out, the house is clean, dinner was good and I’m looking forward to relaxing before bed either watching a movie or reading, and then sleeping through the night with no chance of hangover tomorrow
Hangover free!! Best reward for abstaining. Xo1 -
@dbanks80 You are such a positive person! Love reading your comments always:)2
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Agree Julie, good experiment to see what fits and doesn’t, great onwards motivation too!1
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I cut back yesterday and will keep it up. I know wine is derailing my weight loss and would like to be part of this group. All your stories are so encouraging.
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Went out to favorite beach bar with husband last night and met three people from Belgium. We had a great time getting to know them, but there was a copious amount of drinking going on between the four of them (I stuck to Diet Coke). Wow, the drunker everybody got the more sort of annoyed I got with all of them. The bar got our tab mixed up with another person who had the exact same name. By the time my husband got it straightened out he felt compelled, in his fairly drunken state, to buy the other person and his entire party a round of drinks. The expense of that annoyed me even more.
I'm thinking two things this morning: 1. Can I actually have fun with people who are drinking anymore? 2. Was I one of those annoying people who was slurring her speech and talking to people with my face four inches from theirs and making little sense when I was drinking? The answer to #1 is probably. The answer for #2 is most definitely, unfortunately.
The good thing about last night is that I was thrilled to be the DD and not worry a bit about the potential of a DUI, something I've worried about before - even after just a couple of glasses of wine. We had a friend who got a DUI and, believe me, you don't ever want to have to go through that. You will be court mandated into AA, you will not drive for a year, minimum, and it will cost 1000s of $ in attorney fees, fines, your insurance rates will go up astronomically, etc. So it was a great feeling not worrying about that.
Day 22 begins!10 -
Somebody else recommended that tea here and I tried it and can second that it's delish. Tazo has other dessert teas as well. There's one called butterscotch blondie, which sounds pretty yummy.P.S. Last week at the hair salon I was offered a cup of Tazo Vanilla bean and macaron tea. It was like having a decadent dessert.
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Went out to favorite beach bar with husband last night and met three people from Belgium. We had a great time getting to know them, but there was a copious amount of drinking going on between the four of them (I stuck to Diet Coke). Wow, the drunker everybody got the more sort of annoyed I got with all of them. The bar got our tab mixed up with another person who had the exact same name. By the time my husband got it straightened out he felt compelled, in his fairly drunken state, to buy the other person and his entire party a round of drinks. The expense of that annoyed me even more.
I'm thinking two things this morning: 1. Can I actually have fun with people who are drinking anymore? 2. Was I one of those annoying people who was slurring her speech and talking to people with my face four inches from theirs and making little sense when I was drinking? The answer to #1 is probably. The answer for #2 is most definitely, unfortunately.
The good thing about last night is that I was thrilled to be the DD and not worry a bit about the potential of a DUI, something I've worried about before - even after just a couple of glasses of wine. We had a friend who got a DUI and, believe me, you don't ever want to have to go through that. You will be court mandated into AA, you will not drive for a year, minimum, and it will cost 1000s of $ in attorney fees, fines, your insurance rates will go up astronomically, etc. So it was a great feeling not worrying about that.
Day 22 begins!
Good job! I quit completely for a couple years and every time we were out my husband would point out people that were acting like I did in the past. It was eye opening.4 -
The good thing about last night is that I was thrilled to be the DD and not worry a bit about the potential of a DUI, something I've worried about before - even after just a couple of glasses of wine. We had a friend who got a DUI and, believe me, you don't ever want to have to go through that. You will be court mandated into AA, you will not drive for a year, minimum, and it will cost 1000s of $ in attorney fees, fines, your insurance rates will go up astronomically, etc. So it was a great feeling not worrying about that.
Day 22 begins!
Good for you!
DUI is the reason why if I have the keys, I only drink water or coffee. When I drink, it's at home.
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I wish I had seen this at the beginning of the month, but I too have been trying to cut down on alcohol this month. I've gone from drinking every other day to about once a week. It's a struggle for me but at least it's happening. Good luck to us all!8
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Went out with my hubby and some new friends Sat night. Drank higher-alcohol (9%) craft beers. Blacked out. Spent all day yesterday hungover.
I hate it. Guess I'm starting fresh today.
Still reading The Naked Mind and enjoying it.11 -
springsweet wrote: »Went out with my hubby and some new friends Sat night. Drank higher-alcohol (9%) craft beers. Blacked out. Spent all day yesterday hungover. I hate it. Guess I'm starting fresh today.
Still reading The Naked Mind and enjoying it.
You can do this... One day at a time!3 -
I’m loving this app. It also says I’ve saved $141 dollars which is pretty eye opening. Imagine if I put that away every month - I could go on an amazing vacation!9 -
SanDiegofitmom wrote: »Congrats to all who accomplished their goals this weekend. I had a football party at my house today and the beer and wine were flowing. I admit a glass of wine sounded fun, but I saved the calories for a oven baked cookie and Imice cream. My mom who is doing dry January with me (though she really doesn’t drink much) was like “we could just have a little, right??” I’m like no! I’m staying the course! Three weeks down and not stopping now.
Great for you!!!!2 -
Cleosweetie wrote: »@dbanks80: "It's like I don't want to go anywhere because I have to deal with the struggle and explaining why I'm not drinking. It's so stressful."
Geez, I hate that you and @JulieAL1969 (and others) have to deal with this! Didn't anyone teach their kids manners?
When I was an older teenager, my mom was getting ready to host people for dinner, and she said something that has always stuck with me: "it's bad manners to ask someone why they aren't drinking alcohol." And adding to that, "It's bad manners to pressure someone to drink. If they say no, move on, without comment."
It would be nice if everyone knew this!!!2 -
"JulieAL1969 wrote: »@Cleosweetie says, "Geez, I hate that you and @JulieAL1969 (and others) have to deal with this! Didn't anyone teach their kids manners?
When I was an older teenager, my mom was getting ready to host people for dinner, and she said something that has always stuck with me: "it's bad manners to ask someone why they aren't drinking alcohol." And adding to that, "It's bad manners to pressure someone to drink. If they say no, move on, without comment."
Nice to see you on the thread again:) I love your mom's advice !
My sister who quit ten years ago, said that when she first quit, it seemed she had a bullseye on her. People were pressuring her to drink. They'd say, why not have one? So, she started to tell people she had a medical condition and that's why she couldnt drink. Too bad she even had to do that.
@slimbyjune18 It was a good experiment to drink after a few weeks off. You can see the difference:) in how you feel and want to feel.
@justlog Good awareness as to how much we are all saving in calories and money, too.
@jenifer7teen I've noticed I've preferred to stay at home doing things around the house than going out to the bars over the last few weeks. And I don't really miss the bars. I'm getting so much more done at home now that I'm not recovering from hangovers.
@MichSmish So true about self-medicating.
@erikNJ You seem to have great supportive friends!
@SanDiegofitmom I read an article that sober is the newest trend. In New York, a few sober bars opened up. I bet they have tasty mocktails!
@Skyweigh Good article! I read it! I love reading about sobriety ; keeps me motivated.[/quote]
I think I am going to start doing that.
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MaryBethHempel wrote: »Goal — January under 7 drinks a week- for my health.....my mind.....my body....Freedom from alcohol ruling my life!
I love how you're tracking your days like this! I'm going to copy you (I hope that's okay).
1/21 First day with no alcohol. I didn't even crave it!
1/22
1/23
1/24
1/25
1/26
1/27
1/28
1/29
1/30
1/313 -
springsweet wrote: »Went out with my hubby and some new friends Sat night. Drank higher-alcohol (9%) craft beers. Blacked out. Spent all day yesterday hungover. I hate it. Guess I'm starting fresh today.
Still reading The Naked Mind and enjoying it.
Sometimes I think it takes these nights to improve our resolve. Hope today is so much better!2 -
SanDiegofitmom wrote: »
I’m loving this app. It also says I’ve saved $141 dollars which is pretty eye opening. Imagine if I put that away every month - I could go on an amazing vacation!
What app is this if you don't mind me asking?
thank you all for such a motivating post! i'm just starting an 8 week challenge to drastically reduce my alcohol intake and this thread is just the inspiration I need!2 -
SanDiegofitmom wrote: »
I’m loving this app. It also says I’ve saved $141 dollars which is pretty eye opening. Imagine if I put that away every month - I could go on an amazing vacation!
What app is this if you don't mind me asking?
thank you all for such a motivating post! i'm just starting an 8 week challenge to drastically reduce my alcohol intake and this thread is just the inspiration I need!
I believe that's the Dry January app. I'm downloading it now. Thanks!3 -
https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/venas-fizz-house-maine/index.html
Saw this travel video about a place that opened successfully with mocktails. Delicious, complex, tasty mocktails!
The owner said, "I had this whole vision," she said. "A bar with bartenders, and they're mixing and muddling and shaking. But there's no alcohol. It's seltzer-based, but they're using really good, healthy ingredients."
*After a few years in business, they did eventually offer alcohol with their established mocktails.
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