I'm an awful person because...
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I don't think the stuff I do is all that awful.
Except when I sent that preacher's wife a bag of gummy genitalia because she was mean to my mom. Again, not that awful.6 -
I told my seven year old son that they were sending a horse drawn wagon instead of the school bus. He was excited and told all his friends at the bus stop in front of our house.
As the school bus pulled up I opened our front door a yelled “Hey Chad, APRIL FOOLS!”
He is now 48 yo and still remembers that day!7 -
A couple things ...
I tend to say what's on my mind, the minute I think it. Somewhere I totally skip the 'think it over' part. Which usually ends with me being a crappy person because I made others feel like crap, and that's not very cool.
Also, I generally find most children (no matter the age) annoying and they just bug me, big time. Don't get me started on crying babies or tantrum throwing 2 year olds. I feel bad when people are all "babies! My awesome kids!" Blah blah. I'm over here thinking STFU.
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because I'll stare at my phone until you're done calling and listen to the voicemail to see if you're worth calling back.2
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SurfyPants wrote: »laprimaJenny wrote: »I can be brutally honest when pushed beyond my breaking point
I can be brutally honest anytime..it's a gift
Same. It’s either a curse or a blessing. I tend to use my brutal honesty as a segue to really bad jokes. Like, rrrreally bad jokes0 -
i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »I once told someone their baby was cute when it wasn't.
Isn't that part of the social contract???0 -
I call people on their B.S. right to their face.
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i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »dwrightlaw wrote: »i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »I once told someone their baby was cute when it wasn't.
Isn't that part of the social contract???
I guess you're right but I always try to wait and see if it gets any cuter when they post a picture of "IT" every 30 seconds. But it doesn't...
Lmao1 -
Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood and by daughter asks for candy I'll say sure I'll give you a piece of candy after you pay the dental bill from your last cavity and tooth pulling of thousands of dollars. No problem.2
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LiftingRiot wrote: »I used to participate in making fun of a girl in junior high... she later tried committing suicide. I kind of always want to be nice to people after that. Im a dick at times on here with you guys but its all in fun and never really trying to make it at your expense. That's my confession.
The boy who made fun of me in high school went on to become the bass player for one of the most popular bands of the 1990s in the U.S.A. I'm still waiting for him to apologize especially since he's rich and I'm poor. But, meh.
You're okay
WHO HURT YOU
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I curse in front of my "kids" (25 &16) but they are NOT allowed to curse in front of me, if they want to keep their teeth.
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occasionally when i have the good chocolate chips, I'll make a small batch of cookies and tell the kids I made them "Healthy" and with pureed vegetables even though I didn't. That way the kids won't touch them and I eat all of them.5
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I once made fun of a kid because his dad died. Felt like a douche every time I thought about it during my adulthood.
Note: Several years ago, I did call the guy up to apologize for saying that. He was very cool with that. Words can destroy.7 -
Just_J_Now wrote: »I curse in front of my "kids" (25 &16) but they are NOT allowed to curse in front of me, if they want to keep their teeth.
Even till this day, I can't swear in front of my parents. They swear their mouths off in front of me but I just can't. It's more of a respect kinda thing for me.1 -
I fantasize about ramming my jeep into slow moving vehicles that I am stuck behind. Want to give them the finger and hope they pull over to confront me about it.6
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LiftingRiot wrote: »I fantasize about ramming my jeep into slow moving vehicles that I am stuck behind. Want to give them the finger and hope they pull over to confront me about it.
Do you give them the finger before the ramming or after?2 -
eccomi_qui wrote: »LiftingRiot wrote: »I fantasize about ramming my jeep into slow moving vehicles that I am stuck behind. Want to give them the finger and hope they pull over to confront me about it.
Do you give them the finger before the ramming or after?
Before, during, and after2 -
LiftingRiot wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »LiftingRiot wrote: »I fantasize about ramming my jeep into slow moving vehicles that I am stuck behind. Want to give them the finger and hope they pull over to confront me about it.
Do you give them the finger before the ramming or after?
Before, during, and after
Geez. You’re making me sweat over here that sounds like a good time5 -
Just_J_Now wrote: »I curse in front of my "kids" (25 &16) but they are NOT allowed to curse in front of me, if they want to keep their teeth.
Even till this day, I can't swear in front of my parents. They swear their mouths off in front of me but I just can't. It's more of a respect kinda thing for me.
Respect for parents is so admirable, no matter what age. Of course I wouldn't knock my son's teeth out at 25, but he thinks I will and that works for me. 1 -
WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »LiftingRiot wrote: »I used to participate in making fun of a girl in junior high... she later tried committing suicide. I kind of always want to be nice to people after that. Im a dick at times on here with you guys but its all in fun and never really trying to make it at your expense. That's my confession.
The boy who made fun of me in high school went on to become the bass player for one of the most popular bands of the 1990s in the U.S.A. I'm still waiting for him to apologize especially since he's rich and I'm poor. But, meh.
You're okay
WHO HURT YOU
I so want to say his name and the name of his now-washed-up-dinosaur of a band but I won't.
Smarmy entitled puke that he was and probably still is. Collecting those royalties. The nerve.
I was the new girl in the school and when I walked into study hall he yelled out, "THAT'S THE GIRL WHO DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS. LOOK AT HER!" Then he snickered and got all his friends to snicker.
I was silently smoldering. Smoldering still.
I'm so curious who the washed up dinosaur band is. I hope I'm not a fan because I still like some of those.0 -
WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »One time I stopped mid coitus to point out John Cena’s intro music was in a commercial.
This is pure gold. Yes. Good job.0 -
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i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »I once told someone their baby was cute when it wasn't.
Apparently i was an ugly baby0 -
- IAA at times because I think too highly of myself and I get judgy of others. I don't like that.
- IAA at times because I spend too much time with pR0n.
- IAA at times because while I am mostly as honest and open about myself, I fudge things a bit to make myself show in a better light. I am pretty good about calling myself on my own BS, but sometimes I selectively let it slip and never correct it.
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I told a girl i am not terribly interested that i was terribly interested in her so I could 'Bang one out'. Apparently the bang one out method is ineffective and painful3
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