wtf am I wrong?

jenjencin78

I can handle myself and would never be with anyone who thought otherwise or felt he need to intervene to prove his worth as a man. It's not about emasculation- it's about being a strong confident woman that can stand up for herself and doesn't need drama to make a point.

Tigg_er

Anyone can say anything to my girl. If it bothers her, and they don't stop, they will have to answer to me. It's very simple. If she's enjoying it, then I will reevaluate our relationship. We'll probably have a chat about it later. But, the appropriate response should be that she handled it, and that's the end.

Groping is different. I hate these situations because it has all the makings of a bar fight. And, the one that "starts the fight" is the one the bouncer takes his aggression out on. The starting of the fight would appear to be you, not the groper. Unfortunately, though, you at least have to have a conversation with the guy about it. But, it depends. If he's with buddies, and the seem a bit rowdy and drunk, you may want to just tell a bartender or bouncer. They may cut him off or something. Lol. It's situational because I don't like to get thrown out of bars. And i really dont like to fight anymore. It hurts. And, it's never worth it. I would have to say something, but I wouldn't want it to erupt. Plus, where I live, people get shot and stabbed in these situations. So, I tend to be cautious. I used to know people that just go out to intentionally get in fights and they sometimes have a weapon, like a knife, on them. So, you really have to think about if it's worth it, and you have to evaluate if this is just some dumb *kitten* that's had a bit too many bud lights, or is this dude really intentionally starting trouble. If its the latter, watch out. They may not have as much to lose as you. Prison doesn't scare them at all, 3 squares and free room and board looks pretty good to some people.

This is dead on ! The guy that throws the first one is the guy going to jail. And trust me the Judge won't care that he grabbed your gals *kitten*.

playgun

Let the girl handle unwanted advances, if the meathead doesn't get the picture or gets touchy, break his ****ing head open and let the pickled contents drain!
I for one think its sexy if a women can handle herself! But that's just me, and I'm damaged so, whatever!

whierd

I would be amused at the guys attempts to hit on her.
And disregard the guy.

Because -I- don't need to prove my manhood.

Date better quality men.

Yeah, I can't imagine my husband getting all worked up over something like that.

It shows a serious lack of maturity.

Unless you like dating guys that go to jail all the time.

deksgrl

My bf *expects* me to handle it myself, otherwise it would appear that I liked it and was open to it. If I shut the guy down and he still doesn't leave me alone, then I tell the bf about it and he can reinforce it.

Fullsterkur_woman

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

MinMin97

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

MsEndomorph

Let your man protect you.

From what? A man who dares find me attractive and approach me? Scary.
I don't know how any relationship could ever start without someone being attracted to someone and approaching someone.

MinMin97

Let your man protect you.

From what? A man who dares find me attractive and approach me? Scary.
I don't know how any relationship could ever start without someone being attracted to someone and approaching someone.

I was answering the question. I don't know what you are answering.

whierd

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

MsEndomorph

Let your man protect you.

From what? A man who dares find me attractive and approach me? Scary.
I don't know how any relationship could ever start without someone being attracted to someone and approaching someone.

I was answering the question. I don't know what you are answering.

I'm a freestyler.

MinMin97

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Are you protecting her lol?

That's not what I said. I said, "Let your man protect you." I did not say, "It is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you."

whierd

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Are you protecting her lol?

That's not what I said. I said, "Let your man protect you." I did not say, "It is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you."

Am I protecting her? Uh...no? I think you are getting confused. The person said they disagreed with the premise of your statement. You did not understand. I answered what those premises would be. Not.Difficult.

MinMin97

Wheird, you are guessing my premise.

mandasalem

What if *SHE* needs you to prove your manhood to HER?

Then he has no business being with her. If you need a dude to "prove" his manhood to you, then you clearly don't respect him or shouldn't be with him. It's not a game at a circus where the big bell rings if you do the macho thing.

NaomiJFoster

Let your man protect you.

Protect? There was no danger. Only a mild annoyance. Why would anyone need a man to protect them from a mild annoyance? That's not a 'protection' scenario. And the man/woman relationship is based on much more than protection, I would hope.

Unless you're being facetious and just posting a glib answer as a joke, in which case...ha ha ha.

kimosabe1

handle what? honey, don't let your ego get to big because there were girls scoping your man also. that was nothing....

MinMin97

Let your man protect you.

Protect? There was no danger. Only a mild annoyance. Why would anyone need a man to protect them from a mild annoyance? That's not a 'protection' scenario. And the man/woman relationship is based on much more than protection, I would hope.

Unless you're being facetious and just posting a glib answer as a joke, in which case...ha ha ha.

Apparently, she did not find it mild, as she "shut him down", and neither did he. And, he was motivated and wanted to protect her. To which I say let him! You can answer the OP differently if you want to.
No, not being facetious/glib.

Fullsterkur_woman

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Aaaaactually, I meant that it presumes that one "has a man". What about lesbians? Happily celibate people? All those people are capable of enforcing their own boundaries... Why does adding a penis into the equation change anything?

MinMin97

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Aaaaactually, I meant that it presumes that one "has a man". What about lesbians? Happily celibate people? All those people are capable of enforcing their own boundaries... Why does adding a penis into the equation change anything?

Again I say, I was answering the question.

whierd

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Aaaaactually, I meant that it presumes that one "has a man". What about lesbians? Happily celibate people? All those people are capable of enforcing their own boundaries... Why does adding a penis into the equation change anything?

The best part about premises are that there are several.

Fullsterkur_woman

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Aaaaactually, I meant that it presumes that one "has a man". What about lesbians? Happily celibate people? All those people are capable of enforcing their own boundaries... Why does adding a penis into the equation change anything?

The best part about premises are that there are several.

Yep, I agree with you, but she asked, so I felt I should clarify.

whierd

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Aaaaactually, I meant that it presumes that one "has a man". What about lesbians? Happily celibate people? All those people are capable of enforcing their own boundaries... Why does adding a penis into the equation change anything?

Again I say, I was answering the question.

So that means that you answer cannot be questioned or debated? :huh:

Fullsterkur_woman

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Aaaaactually, I meant that it presumes that one "has a man". What about lesbians? Happily celibate people? All those people are capable of enforcing their own boundaries... Why does adding a penis into the equation change anything?

Again I say, I was answering the question.

And I am offering intellectual criticism of the answer.

saschka7

Alright, I started writing this story out but then it was becoming epic and no one wants to read that. Basically my question is to the boys: if your gf gets seriously hit on at a bar, she shuts the guy down, but then you think he's staring you down the rest of the night, did she emasculate you or otherwise worsen the situation by not letting you step in and "handle" it?

my husband would find it amusing. he would stand up for me if needed, but wouldn't consider it being "emasculated" if I stand up for myself. More likely he'd be proud of me being feisty and able to stand up for myself....

This..I also would take care of my own business, but if my guy wanted to step in and start something, I'd let him of course. If he didn't want to feel emasculated, he could have sailed right in behind you and said something to the guy himself. The only thing that emasculated the bf (in his own mind) was him keeping his silence.

The short version: BF...you can stand up to the jerk or keep silent. If you keep silent, you don't have a right to pout and feel all "emasculated" about it.

Frankly, this conversation would bore me to tears if it were my fella. I'd already be looking for a new man if this happened to me.

saschka7

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Aaaaactually, I meant that it presumes that one "has a man". What about lesbians? Happily celibate people? All those people are capable of enforcing their own boundaries... Why does adding a penis into the equation change anything?

Again I say, I was answering the question.

So that means that you answer cannot be questioned or debated? :huh:

whierd.....are you an INTJ? Because you think like one. :flowerforyou:

MinMin97

So that means that you answer cannot be questioned or debated? :huh:

No.

lq022

I havent read alot of the other posts so I dont know if this was already said, but here is my point of view. I think its great that your girlfriend can handle her own and turn down guys that are hitting on her at bars. Especially when she COULD have sat back and let you handle it ... that shows maturity on her end that she knows what she has in a boyfriend and won't put up with some guy being a sleazeball. To that end, the guy was probably staring you down because hes an idiot and thought he could intimidate you ... which in the end, he made you question if you should have handled it. From my experience in seeing these things happen in bars or clubs, NOTHING good comes out of two testosterone-charged, liquored-up men trying to stake their claim over a girl ... It is WAY better and often times, less physical, to let the girl tell the guy off, have there be a few profanitys thrown around, and then eventually the slimball guy leaves defeated and with his tail between his legs.

The only time I would ask my boyfriend to step in, is if the guy still wouldnt leave me alone after I told him no. Thats it. Other than that, let her deal with it. And lets face it, if the your girlfriend has guys hitting on her while your their with her, she most definitely has guys hitting on her when your NOT there ... so its better to see how she handles it when your there, than to do it yourself, and then when she is alone, she wont know how to handle the situation. Be grateful she knows how to handle it lol

Fullsterkur_woman

So that means that you answer cannot be questioned or debated? :huh:

No.

Thanks for clearing that up. No, it can't? Or no, that's not what it means?

summertime_girl

I'm a big girl. I can tell a guy off without being "rescued" by another guy.