wtf am I wrong?

whierd

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Aaaaactually, I meant that it presumes that one "has a man". What about lesbians? Happily celibate people? All those people are capable of enforcing their own boundaries... Why does adding a penis into the equation change anything?

The best part about premises are that there are several.

Fullsterkur_woman

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Aaaaactually, I meant that it presumes that one "has a man". What about lesbians? Happily celibate people? All those people are capable of enforcing their own boundaries... Why does adding a penis into the equation change anything?

The best part about premises are that there are several.

Yep, I agree with you, but she asked, so I felt I should clarify.

whierd

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Aaaaactually, I meant that it presumes that one "has a man". What about lesbians? Happily celibate people? All those people are capable of enforcing their own boundaries... Why does adding a penis into the equation change anything?

Again I say, I was answering the question.

So that means that you answer cannot be questioned or debated? :huh:

Fullsterkur_woman

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Aaaaactually, I meant that it presumes that one "has a man". What about lesbians? Happily celibate people? All those people are capable of enforcing their own boundaries... Why does adding a penis into the equation change anything?

Again I say, I was answering the question.

And I am offering intellectual criticism of the answer.

saschka7

Alright, I started writing this story out but then it was becoming epic and no one wants to read that. Basically my question is to the boys: if your gf gets seriously hit on at a bar, she shuts the guy down, but then you think he's staring you down the rest of the night, did she emasculate you or otherwise worsen the situation by not letting you step in and "handle" it?

my husband would find it amusing. he would stand up for me if needed, but wouldn't consider it being "emasculated" if I stand up for myself. More likely he'd be proud of me being feisty and able to stand up for myself....

This..I also would take care of my own business, but if my guy wanted to step in and start something, I'd let him of course. If he didn't want to feel emasculated, he could have sailed right in behind you and said something to the guy himself. The only thing that emasculated the bf (in his own mind) was him keeping his silence.

The short version: BF...you can stand up to the jerk or keep silent. If you keep silent, you don't have a right to pout and feel all "emasculated" about it.

Frankly, this conversation would bore me to tears if it were my fella. I'd already be looking for a new man if this happened to me.

saschka7

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Aaaaactually, I meant that it presumes that one "has a man". What about lesbians? Happily celibate people? All those people are capable of enforcing their own boundaries... Why does adding a penis into the equation change anything?

Again I say, I was answering the question.

So that means that you answer cannot be questioned or debated? :huh:

whierd.....are you an INTJ? Because you think like one. :flowerforyou:

MinMin97

So that means that you answer cannot be questioned or debated? :huh:

No.

lq022

I havent read alot of the other posts so I dont know if this was already said, but here is my point of view. I think its great that your girlfriend can handle her own and turn down guys that are hitting on her at bars. Especially when she COULD have sat back and let you handle it ... that shows maturity on her end that she knows what she has in a boyfriend and won't put up with some guy being a sleazeball. To that end, the guy was probably staring you down because hes an idiot and thought he could intimidate you ... which in the end, he made you question if you should have handled it. From my experience in seeing these things happen in bars or clubs, NOTHING good comes out of two testosterone-charged, liquored-up men trying to stake their claim over a girl ... It is WAY better and often times, less physical, to let the girl tell the guy off, have there be a few profanitys thrown around, and then eventually the slimball guy leaves defeated and with his tail between his legs.

The only time I would ask my boyfriend to step in, is if the guy still wouldnt leave me alone after I told him no. Thats it. Other than that, let her deal with it. And lets face it, if the your girlfriend has guys hitting on her while your their with her, she most definitely has guys hitting on her when your NOT there ... so its better to see how she handles it when your there, than to do it yourself, and then when she is alone, she wont know how to handle the situation. Be grateful she knows how to handle it lol

Fullsterkur_woman

So that means that you answer cannot be questioned or debated? :huh:

No.

Thanks for clearing that up. No, it can't? Or no, that's not what it means?

summertime_girl

I'm a big girl. I can tell a guy off without being "rescued" by another guy.

MinMin97

So that means that you answer cannot be questioned or debated? :huh:

No.

Thanks for clearing that up. No, it can't? Or no, that's not what it means?

I was just answering the question, lol!! If I had meant "No, that's not what it means", then I would have qualified the no.

KelleyGirl74

Chivalry is not dead. At least I don't think it is.

Fullsterkur_woman

I'm a big girl. I can tell a guy off without being "rescued" by another guy.

Thanks! That's what the voices of sanity are crying in here. The OP's boyfriend's feelings about the situation, one way or the other, are irrelevant to whether or not she can handle the situation herself. They are also his problem to deal with, not the OP's.

whierd

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Aaaaactually, I meant that it presumes that one "has a man". What about lesbians? Happily celibate people? All those people are capable of enforcing their own boundaries... Why does adding a penis into the equation change anything?

Again I say, I was answering the question.

So that means that you answer cannot be questioned or debated? :huh:

whierd.....are you an INTJ? Because you think like one. :flowerforyou:

Hahaha, actually I am!

Fullsterkur_woman

So that means that you answer cannot be questioned or debated? :huh:

No.

Thanks for clearing that up. No, it can't? Or no, that's not what it means?

I was just answering the question, lol!! If I had meant "No, that's not what it means", then I would have qualified the no.

But do you not see that the way you answered his question was ambiguous? And could be seen as intentionally so?

Either way, thank you for clarifying. So, it can't be questioned or debated. Duly noted. :huh:

dvisser1

I would be amused at the guys attempts to hit on her.
And disregard the guy.

Because -I- don't need to prove my manhood.

^This

Any guy who feels threatened because his girlfriend gets hit on and shuts the other guy down has some serious personal insecurities and jealousy issues. Everyone feels jealous every now and then, even the most secure, but to the point of feeling emasculated and threatened....?? Move on.

saschka7

Let your man protect you.

This statement requires a premise that I do not agree to. :huh:

What would that be?

That you need/want a man to protect you. That it is wrong for a guy to find you attractive and approach you. Really, take your pick.

Aaaaactually, I meant that it presumes that one "has a man". What about lesbians? Happily celibate people? All those people are capable of enforcing their own boundaries... Why does adding a penis into the equation change anything?

Again I say, I was answering the question.

So that means that you answer cannot be questioned or debated? :huh:

whierd.....are you an INTJ? Because you think like one. :flowerforyou:

Hahaha, actually I am!

Ha! I thought I recognized a fellow INTJ by that line of logic...:drinker:

vtmoon

I wish I was with you... no one ever messed with me, or my woman, or friends in Blacksburg, but probably it had to do with me wearing my holster and a smile.

fatfrost

Alright, I started writing this story out but then it was becoming epic and no one wants to read that. Basically my question is to the boys: if your gf gets seriously hit on at a bar, she shuts the guy down, but then you think he's staring you down the rest of the night, did she emasculate you or otherwise worsen the situation by not letting you step in and "handle" it?

I remember when this kind of **** was important. O to be in my 20's again.

Here's a hint. If a man is *truly* masculine, there is nothing that his g/f (or anyone else for that matter) can do to emasculate him. Have you ever seen "To Wong Fu"?

Your fella's problem isn't that you didn't give him a chance to "step in;" rather I think the other fella intimidated him a bit and since he cannot now stand up to him, he's taking it out on you. BTW, this isn't a knock on him--he's a kid learning to be a man--it takes time. Good luck with everything.

vtmoon

Also, to answer the question. I don't see the issue if you handled it. I don't understand why your man kept looking back at the dude to notice he was staring him down? He emasculated himself by not acting on the hostile staring afterwards, if I was in his place I would've been blowing the guy kisses if I noticed him staring at me.