WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2018

wildhorsewendy

Machka, I am sending emergency prayers for a full recovery of your hubby. Life throws us surprises just when least expected. What a worry for you. I went through a similar scenario when my youngest daughter had to have emergency surgery for eptopic pregnancy and I had to stay strong for her as they wheeled her frightened and crying into surgery, then stay all night by her bedside as she dealt with terrible pain after she woke up. There's a lot of us here who've been keeping hospital vigils, so you are not alone by any means. Here is a hug just for you:

Barbie, happy birthday. Sounds like you celebrated even though you're not into much fuss, LOL.

I am up early and heading out with the tramping club for another adventure, this time into the Kaimanawa Ranges to Castle Rock. Gotta go get dressed. Wendy

bwcetc

Machka ... you and your husband are both in my prayers ... try to take care of yourself the best you can ... hugs

Evelyn ... crackers and cheese are my nemesis ... I've decided I can no longer have crackers in the house.

Becca ... the house sounds wonderful!

Barbie ... Happy Birthday!

Katie ... the bathroom looks great!!

Sunny day here today and I'm doing baking of all things. Fortunately, this baking is being donated so there will be none to tempt me. I do think I've hit bottom with the indiscriminate eating. I've allowed myself to regain 40 pounds and it's time to stop. I know why I've been eating unhealthy and I know why I want to eat healthy. Now to get back to what works for me.

Beth near Buffalo

dreamwriter

I've read to here and there is always a lot going on.

Machka - Saying prayers for you and your husband. It is scary how fast life can change. I am can't even imagine the world of worry that you are in. He is in the right place to be helped and God will guide the doctors. Please take care of yourself as he will be in need of your strength. I will continue to pray as it is the only way I can help. Sending you hugs from Canada.

Terry - thank you! My first divorce was devastating and left me deeply in debt. There are so many feelings being dredged up that it is almost intolerable. Now I have to deal with this on top of medical appointments and paperwork to get my retirement on the right track. Just going to go over here and have my private pity party. Maybe not so private as I have been sharing it with all of you for the last few days.

Becca - Thanks for that visual. It did make me laugh.

Wendy- Thanks for your perspective. I have prayed about my marriage many times. I will continue but as you know this is not the first issue in our marriage. I am dazed and confused. I know I am not perfect but I try my best.

Allie- I know you have been stressed. I hope that on Monday this is resolved. I will be thinking of you. You are not going into that court room alone. We are with you in Spirit.

Ginger - Thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother in law. It sounds as if your life is better for having known him.

Evelyn - Yes, I do feel like I have worked hard on this relationship. I believe I was the only one though. It is confusing when he talks to me about future home renovations. The trip across Canada that we had planned for years. Why? If he wants to be with her? It is part of the cycle and my head knows that but my heart wants to believe it is genuine.
Watch out for the crackers! They are sneaky things.

dr.katiebug - the bathroom renovation turned out fantastic. It looks like a peaceful retreat from the world. I could use that right now.

Kim- I think it is important to tell the family stories. Thanks for the hugs.

Joyce - Thanks. Funny thing is I never imagined being married. Well, I did. I always wanted to marry Michaelangelo until my Mom broke my heart by pointing out he had been dead for centuries. I didn't plan my wedding or the dress like my friend's did. I think I couldn't imagine anyone ever loving me enough to marry me. They say you teach others how to treat you. I keep telling myself that I deserve better.

Barbie - Happy Birthday to an inspirational role model. I would tell you to dance but I'm sure you have. Have a Spectacular celebration of you. Chinese food?

I want all of you to know just how wonderful you all are. I am so lucky that I stumbled onto this thread. It was meant to be. I appreciate all the support, advice and well wishes.

Yesterday I took Keira to her sewing lesson. I finally had to tell my sister to stop as she was getting very critical and complaining about Keira's attention span and raising her voice. The usual lesson is an hour and this one was over 2. Too long for an 8 year old I feel. Keira still thanked her and said she is having fun. She did tell Auntie Bev that next time they should set the timer because it would be better. My Princess Warrior does know how to stand up for herself. She had me find a song from Moana and danced her competition piece for us. She has psoriasis on her face, scalp and legs. "Grandma, I need some sun before I look like a big scab" I think she is such a pretty girl and wish she didn't have to deal with this.

We went out for a Burger and then to a new Home Hardware. Chico behaved badly. I believe this is because Larry insists taking him every where and now he hates to be separated. It was a pleasant evening but for me there was a shadow over it.

Tonight I am going to listen to the Pipe Band at the Legion with my brother and sister - in - law. Do I tell them the latest development? They are staying at my house. So maybe not ?

-Sharon in Lethbridge.

grogers511

Hi folks.
Barbie - Happy belated birthday!

Macha - Sending prayers for a full recovery for your husband. How scary this must be for you. Big Hugs.

Thank you all! I felt better after posting here and getting your loving feedback. I was so tempted to simply go back to bed. But, my mother was struggling with back pain and needed some TLC and distraction. So I gave her Tylenol. Rubbed her down with Icy Hot and added a warmed back wrap. We sat at the kitchen table and drank coffee and read the paper and watched Family Feud. Had supper. And then I plugged away on a few household chores. Simple things like cleaning the vacuum cleaners canisters, rollers and washing the filters. Refilling soap dispensers. I ended the day feeling a bit more grounded and accomplished.
Today - I'm dusting furniture. Cleaning floors. Sprucing up the entrance. Doing a load of laundry. Prep for out-of-town visitors (my aunt and cousin) coming tomorrow to stay the night and attend the funeral of my BIL.
— Ginger in Texas —

drkatiebug

Machka, oh my! I am so sorry. Healing prayers are going up.

Heather, yes, the master bath is taking a long time. Almost two months. Partly because this guy is working alone and partly because he just doesn’t get in a hurry. It’s a good thing we don’t have a deadline to meet.

Michele, I’m confused by the Denise/Jess drama. Why is Denise sending a Christmas present on Jess’s birthday in March? And why did she think Jess didn’t like it?

Becca, the new place sounds fantastic.

We are going to my mother’s tonight to celebrate her 85th birthday. I baked a butter pecan cake. Should be fun. The grandkids will be there.

LisaInAR

Sharon - just a thought, reading your post, as I popped in to see if Machka had updated. Who's to say that Larry's not lying to his ex-wife? He may be telling her what he thinks she wants to hear so he can maintain their "textual" relationship. Liars end up lying to everyone... 'tis the nature of the beast. Grieving that loss is normal, but that doesn't make it any more bearable. We're here for you.

Becca - Looks like we're moving at about the same time! I've always loved the thought of Whidbey Island--if you've ever read "Onions in the Stew," by Betty Bard MacDonald, it's a wonderfully funny book on the fun and hazards of island living in the Pacific Northwest. She and her husband, Don, lived on Vashon Island. She also wrote "The Egg and I," which is where Ma and Pa Kettle were drawn from, and the Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle books, among others.

Finally packed... haven't been on a business trip where I have to be dressed professionally dawn to dusk almost every day in a LONG time. Looking forward to going, being, doing, and getting back to start dismantling our fairly minimal roots and push halfway back across the country beginning April 13. On the road two straight, long, days... and then done with that for at least a year. It will be worth it to once again have our own space, our own noises, our quiet lives, our own smells... all of it. These five months have been valuable in so many ways--and I will be so glad when they're done!

Love y'all,
Lisa in NC

Peach1948

Machka ~ Prayers said for you and your husband.

Barbie ~ Happy Birthday.

Kay ~ Your bathroom is looking great.

Kelly ~ I was a little shocked when I first started teaching and found out that my take home pay was less thnt I had been making working in an office. I know all the families you have cared for during the years so appreciate the time and work you have done with their children.

Heather ~ I think that writing your book and sharing it with your husband must have been very cathartic for you. Perhaps now is not the time to talk to your sons about it. Just my opinion.

Becca ~ Crossing my finger that your son is able to rent the house.

Went to the 8 yr old's lacrosse game at 9 AM and loved getting a big fat hug from him. It was damp and cold...my feet were freezing because the dew covered grass soaked through my shoes and socks.

Carol in GA

Katla49

Michele: What is a cabin filter on a car? Is it part of the air conditioning system? I'm curious. :huh:

Becca: Good luck on your planned move. I hope this works out perfectly. :flowerforyou:

Barbie: Yay!!! Happy Birthday!!! :flowerforyou:

Heather: I don't think I remember whether your dad is still living. my parents have been gone a very long time. My mother was treated like a servant by her mother, & I went to the cemetery one Memorial Day and stopped by my grandmother's grave. I told her what I thought of her treatment of mom. It was a good thing for me to do. I felt like I was finally able to stand up for my mom. These old wounds are tough, but I think your book is a very good way to deal with your wounds and help someone else by sharing the story. Ultimately it is a story of your personal triumph over adversity.

(((Machka))): You and your DH are in my prayers. I hope things go very well for him.


We took our Veterinarian's advice and gave our dog his first dose of Bravecto for the year. He will be getting another does every three months. This protects him from fleas and ticks. I appreciate all of your wise advice when I mentioned this before. It was a nice nudge in the right direction.

Katla in beautiful NW Oregon



"Normally I'm quite normal . . ." The Gods Must be Crazy

cityjaneLondon

Katla - My father died a few days before his 72nd birthday of emphysema.
I am on a bit of a deadline for the book as it will be coming out in a few weeks and I hope to do some publicity for it. My elder son is on my Facebook. I wrote it, not so much for me, but because I wanted the child to have a voice. You are right in that I want it to help others with what they went through. It is very much a picture of a 50s childhood, with added complications. I became a compulsive thief and had severe OCD. There are fortunately some much lighter moments!
I simply want to tell my sons it is coming out. I don't expect them to read it. Everybody else in my life knows about my father, including my brother's family. All the relatives know because of the court case. My friends all know. My sons are the only ones who don't.
I feel I am a great example of someone who has "come through" after many years of struggle. I am now happier than I have ever been in my life and I am proud of the book. I must admit to feeling a bit cross with my DDIL, but I know she is probably going through a very worrying time at the moment with my DYS and doesn't want him thrown off track. Personally, I think my story is good news and I will write a postscript to that effect.

Much love to all and thinking of Machka.

Love Heather UK xxxxxxx

noahbsmom960

Hi everyone, I am just joining the My Fitness pal community and love this board. I am 53 years old, weigh 202 and want to lose 30 pounds.

My word for 2018 is "Recharge"!

bwcetc

cityjaneLondon wrote: »

Katla -
I simply want to tell my sons it is coming out. I don't expect them to read it. Everybody else in my life knows about my father, including my brother's family. All the relatives know because of the court case. My friends all know. My sons are the only ones who don't.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx

Heather ... are you positively certain that your sons don't know? When all the relatives know and everyone else you mention knows, there's a possibility your sons do too. Maybe not the real story or the whole story, but an inkling? Children have a way of sensing/knowing/understanding more than we every give them credit for. Just a thought I had.

pipcd34

Hjhhhhh

Katla49

Heather: I understand that your DDIL is feeling protective of your son right now, but I think keeping this from him could turn out to be a mistake if he finds out about the book from some friend, relative, or worse yet a frenemy. (Someone who poses as a friend but undermines and seeks power over others.) I hope you will be able to work it out with her before the book is advertised and released to the pubic. My personal opinion is that your book will be important to thousands of people who have been victimized at some time in their lives, and offers hope of healing to every reader. I am in awe of your courage and determination to write this book.


Katla in beautiful NW Oregon

cityjaneLondon

Beth - I have told DYS once before I would like to talk to him, but I was told he didn't want to because he was going through a difficult time. Now DDIL is "gatekeeping". I think the truth is less bad than he is imagining. I don't need his support or anything from him. I just don't want him to be the last to know.
Strangely enough I think my elder son might understand better, despite his anxiety problems, because he is used to the therapy route.
Lots of love, Heather UK xxxxxxx

ryenday

A ridiculously long time ago DH and I bought some unfinished wood dressers for him with the plan to stain and poly them. But being a bug magnet that I am, we were unable to do this (working in garage with doors open) until weather and lack of biting insects coincided. Today is that day. It has been a day with a lot of satisfying camaraderie.

I upped my weights from 12 to 15 pound dumbbells and 8 to 9.5 pound leg weights (SWSY program with modifications) yesterday so I am feeling sore & strong today.

Downside today is that I appear to have another ear infection . Hoping It clears up before I have to make Dr. appt ( I’m giving it til Monday.).

I’m taking a work break from sanding smooth the dresser drawers and Jackie Kane is in my face telling me he would appreciate some dinner NOW! lol.

Dressers being stained and impatient cat behind spoiler tag

Rye

Peach1948

The pollen is pretty bad in GA right now!

Katla49

Peach: I am so sorry about your allergies. Here is a pollen free flower, just for you. :flowerforyou:

GodMomKim

Hi Gals,

Barbie – Happy happy birthday weekend!!!

Machka – Oh my, sending loads of good thoughts!

Ginger – thinking of you in this time of loss

Becca – hoping you get the house, a 5 bedroom for 1800 is un-thinkable here! The studio apartments in my town are going for 1800 -

Heather - my thought is tell your elder son, and if you can get a copy of the book and get it to DDil (mail?) and maybe even write a short note to your younger son, and then let them come to you if they want to talk about it or have questions. Seeing how much you’ve gone through and how well you have “made it” might help DYS understand that he too can make it.


Smiles

Kim from N. California

texcaltn

NOAHBSMOM - I am about in your shoes and welcome. I recommend recording food in the diary on this site, because most of the time you haven't crashed as badly as you think! There are some great ladies here.

SHARON - I want to tell you some of what I learned going through something similar to you with my husband #2, in case any of it would be helpful in terms of your next steps, if any. In advance let me say that he was teaching Sunday school classes the whole time.

I, too, discovered the truth in a text to ME. He was flying somewhere on business and always texted me when landing. I got the text "Landed" I responded "How was flight?" He responded, "Baby, any flight to see you is wonderful!!!" He thought SHE was asking how his flight was! We were both in a second marriage, he was (and still is!) 12 years younger than I, he made a lot of money, I had moved twice and lost teacher retirement contributions twice in 2 states to go where his job took us after we were married. Anyway, after that informative text, my hands started shaking and I thought I would throw up. I hung in for two more years because I was 60 and tried to squirrel away some money first, have some medical treatment (he had the medical insurance), get some therapy, and just be patient. I decided NOT to file for divorce but to watch out for myself. I knew he would eventually file, but honestly, I just played dumb. If I had been 43, the age during my 1st divorce, I would have filed in an instant. I saw both therapist and lawyer and also eventually hired a private investigator. Several good friends were my sounding boards during all of this. My neighbor even took pictures of him bringing another women to our home while I went to see my daughter and family in California. I spent too many hours to count, all while finishing a masters degree, going through every expense on every credit card and in every account for 5 years and documenting what added up to over $200,000 of "dissipated" money spent on other women. He was on a website called SugarDaddy.com, he sent monthly money $500, usually only one woman a month, to "reserve" her. Then on his "business trips" there were expenses at resorts, flowers, dinners, gifts... I also had access to all of his cell phone calls and found who the frequent calls were made to. the importance of documenting this was that here in Tennessee, I was entitled to 1/2 of all dissipated money. It was bitter, it ultimately went to trial, I ultimately did get nearly half of that money plus 4 years of alimony at $1500 a month. I started over, bought a little house 6 minutes from where I teach, and my single adult son moved in with me to help out for 4 years. My advice to you is to continue to be smart and act on what helps you in the long run. Others may totally disagree with me, but people who have walked your path have stories and lessons that are instructive; you can say - yes that sounds like a good idea or no that wouldn't work for me. I would never say to you that things will work out because I don't know what that even means. When my #2 actually filed, I went to an attorney and the first thing the attorney did was to slap a set of typical interrogatory questions which he had 30 days to prepare. When I received these answers, that is how I compiled the lists of expenses. One of the questions was whether he had sexual relations in the last 5 years... SO--back to you and your husband: I know it is devastating to find those texts and he is really not very smart to leave his phone where you can get to it. I am guessing he does not even have a security code on it. The question I would have is whether he is spending money on anyone, because texting is different than spending money or going out and exposing sexually himself - and you - to possible diseases, etc. I am sure you have googled everything out there and if he is not smart enough to have a cell security code or erase text messages, I am sure he is not smart enough to erase the History on internet browsing, so that is also a place to check out if you suspect other activities. My #2 was a tech genius and hid everything, so it wasn't till I got the list of expenses and tracked them that I discovered the "sugarbabies." But here is a good little general article:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/gobankingrates/40-secrets-only-divorce-a_b_8602766.html


I thought I had gotten myself out of hell with the end of 23 years with #1, who became severely depressed and clearly (in retrospect) was bi-polar and didn't "believe" in psychologists, therapists, or anyone else like that. So, as with most diseases, his left untreated got worse. Coupled with narcissism and the belief that no rules applied to him, oh - and a pornography addiction - he was more than I could handle. It was a nightmare. But, I picked a clone of him with #2.

I only tell those stories if I think someone might benefit because it is painful to relive. Best of luck. Be smart. I will add that I had not been overweight in 20 years until the second divorce. When it was over, I just opened the door to all the hurt in, and the food came in as well. I just crashed.


OKIE IN HILL COUNTRY - My sister and her husband lost their whole house in the flood and are moving into their new house on 6 acres in Kerrville in two weeks! We are Texans from way back.



Well, I did NOT make it through Day 6, but it could have been a LOT worse. First of all, I did not binge or eat sweets and felt strongly I would be okay if I just stopped and recorded all the food, and I was at 1920 cals instead of 1260, and I had to laugh when that little message came on and told me that if I ate this plan everyday that in 5 weeks I would be 3.5 pound lighter!!

So today I started again and am in control again. Yesterday the problem was a long meeting with pizza and then a K of C fish fry. Oh well. I went to another Overeaters Anonymous meeting this morning (that is my 3rd) and it was good for me. People were so nice and it feels good to be focusing on deeper behaviors as well as healthy eating.

Happy Saturday night!

Caroline in Tennessee

Poerava14

Machka: Humbly adding my healing thoughts and energy heading your way from the MFP sisterhood. We are here for you. I believe that your DH's body already contains everything needed for a full, robust recovery. He is a strong guy. Please stay positive and take care of yourself. I know this will be hard for you as you really like to be busy, active and accomplishing a lot.

Barbie: Have your best birthday ever.

Becca: I'm excited for you.

Katla: Delighted to hear DH is responding to MD's advice!!!

Heather: No suggestions, just hugs and every good wish as you embark on sharing your courageous story. I was abused by my father as well, a pain I'll never reconcile.

Big hugs to all who need them. You ladies are amazing. Step into your power. You can do ANYthing!

Rori
Colorado Foothills