What do I do?

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  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,646 Member
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    *waits impatiently for any update*
  • SamBoling
    SamBoling Posts: 93 Member
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    Oh...my bad. So he was there on Tuesday and I told him that he made me feel uncomfortable and that the comments he made were inappropriate and that he needed to leave me alone. I didn’t apologize once (was proud of that, though I did stutter a little.) His response..um..not the greatest. He was visibly ticked at what I had to say. He just walked away and did his workout. He kept staring (more of glaring imo) at me while I finished the rest of my workout, which I actually ended up cutting short due to feeling super uncomfortable.( had a little breakdown in the locker room. ) He hasn’t spoken to me and he’s been there when I am but he just watches. Idk if it’s just me overthinking things but when I move to a different machine he moves to another one also, and it so happens to have a clear view of where I’m at. Idk, I just have to do this for 6 days.
    I’ve realized...I need a venting buddy..lol >.<
  • SamBoling
    SamBoling Posts: 93 Member
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    I spoke to the one of the staff members, who it turns out was the one who told him when I was there, and she had no idea that anything was wrong. She thought that he was a family member. She apologized profusely and seemed genuine. She said that she would let her manager know to watch him. She no longer tells him where I am (though it’s only been 2 days). So I feel really confident with how things went between her and I but not with HIM and I. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,646 Member
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    SamBoling wrote: »
    Oh...my bad. So he was there on Tuesday and I told him that he made me feel uncomfortable and that the comments he made were inappropriate and that he needed to leave me alone. I didn’t apologize once (was proud of that, though I did stutter a little.) His response..um..not the greatest. He was visibly ticked at what I had to say. He just walked away and did his workout. He kept staring (more of glaring imo) at me while I finished the rest of my workout, which I actually ended up cutting short due to feeling super uncomfortable.( had a little breakdown in the locker room. ) He hasn’t spoken to me and he’s been there when I am but he just watches. Idk if it’s just me overthinking things but when I move to a different machine he moves to another one also, and it so happens to have a clear view of where I’m at. Idk, I just have to do this for 6 days.
    I’ve realized...I need a venting buddy..lol >.<

    Get yourself some protection for those 6 days. Just you describing this is creeping me out.

    I'm glad things went well with the staff member tho! :)
  • SamBoling
    SamBoling Posts: 93 Member
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    Yeah...I’m trying to go at a different time but my schedule really isn’t having it. Rme
  • ThinGoldLineNS
    ThinGoldLineNS Posts: 265 Member
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    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    Very stalkerish and creepy. He is not going to stop behaving this way with you, its time to something and being rude is the last thing you need to worry about. It's most definitely past time to say something to the desk clerk and get the manager involved too about them giving out your gym time to anyone, I am quite disturbed by this part of your story just as much as the creepy man.
    ^^
    this
    and if it persists, I strongly recommend you report him to your local police dept. Keep a log of the interactions, comments, behavior for the file.

  • ThinGoldLineNS
    ThinGoldLineNS Posts: 265 Member
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    sportychic87 wrote: »
    huntersvonnegut wrote: »
    I have to disagree with those who advised you to find another gym. Maybe if the situation escalates and you worry about your safety. Otherwise, he's the one who needs to leave.

    In a perfect world, she should not have to switch gyms, I agree with you. But sometimes, even if the police are notified, that guy might still be around. He might even get a power trip once reported, it’s impossible to know what his reaction to being reported will be. Safety first, I think.

    OP, you can work something out between the police and the gym to obtain a PPA (protection of property act) or a no contact order. Chances area he's done this before. Your safety is what matters.
  • kinetixtrainer2
    kinetixtrainer2 Posts: 9,210 Member
    edited March 2018
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    mij140 wrote: »
    I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. He’s clearly a weirdo and I’m proud of you for telling him to leave you alone. Please be aware of your surroundings as you enter and leave the gym. I’m concerned that you live close by (as you said) and that he may know where you live. I don’t know the laws where you live but are you able to carry some pepper spray or something else to protect yourself? Do you walk to the gym?

    Pleas make sure you tell someone when you leave for the gym and what time you expect to be home.

    I can’t believe a gym employee told this guy when you have been working out. If anything, they should have told you about him asking first and got your permission to let him know.

    If he keeps switching machines to be able to watch you - tell the management. This needs to stop.

    Good advice Jen
  • pogiguy05
    pogiguy05 Posts: 1,583 Member
    edited March 2018
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    As a guy who is 51yo we never get over being GUYS. This does not make it appropriate and the best thing to do in my honest opinion is to talk to him about it. Tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable and be honest, the truth like your old enough to be my father and I dont see you in that way. Then if it continues then talk to the gym manager as they should be required to provide all members with a safe environment to workout.

    OH and after reading some other recent comments definitely tell gym management, do not walk alone and get a freaking powerful taser for those just in case moments.

    OH and have you actually told your father? I know I would be in protection mode and at least stepping up to dude and saying back off. take a pic of him with your phone for the record and record everything you can. What type car he drives, license plate.

    Yeh even I feel kind of creeped out some guy around my age is hitting on you at 18yo. COME ON MAN!!!!!!
  • pogiguy05
    pogiguy05 Posts: 1,583 Member
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    Dreamcrusher16 wrote: »
    Kick him in the junk repeatedly while yelling stranger danger

    :D:D:D
  • SamBoling
    SamBoling Posts: 93 Member
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    pogiguy05 wrote: »

    OH and have you actually told your father? I know I would be in protection mode and at least stepping up to dude and saying back off. take a pic of him with your phone for the record and record everything you can. What type car he drives, license plate.

    No, I haven't. He is back on the mainland for his work so I'm not gonna bother telling him, he has enough to deal with.
  • RomaineCalm
    RomaineCalm Posts: 3,972 Member
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    SamBoling wrote: »
    pogiguy05 wrote: »

    OH and have you actually told your father? I know I would be in protection mode and at least stepping up to dude and saying back off. take a pic of him with your phone for the record and record everything you can. What type car he drives, license plate.

    No, I haven't. He is back on the mainland for his work so I'm not gonna bother telling him, he has enough to deal with.

    Assuming he's not a POS father, I'm sure he'd wanna know this information. Regardless of what else he's dealing with.

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