Women and jealousy
Replies
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I assume you mean "envy" not "jealousy." Short answer: Men are subject to far fewer societal judgments and are socialized differently.0
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he's right though. everything I do is attractive and compelling.why would making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on gender be morally better than making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on colour?
you dismissing what I see as justified offence to an insult aimed directly at me, as a woman, as silly is also pretty insulting.
Ah well my sincerest apologies for offending you with my brash statements and sweeping generalizations. Please feel free to further play the victim card and take the slightest statement as an insult, it's quite attractive and compelling
hey now, play nice
Why can't we all just get along?? :sad:
not srs.
and anyone objecting to being labelled is playing victim.0 -
In my opinion, women who are more attractive get more attention so a lot of women become envious. They simply want to be noticed. What I think a lot of women don't realize is that the people who are getting all the attention show their personality more. It's much easier to be around confident, out going, friendly people.0
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I couldn't possibly comment on what does, or doesn't motivate other women because I don't have the balls to pretend to know. I do know that I don't suffer jealousy really at all. I can't say I'd be overly happy if I saw some woman fawning over my husband, but then he wouldn't be overly happy if he found some man fawning over me! If someone is better looking, prettier, in better shape, more intelligent etc than me then good for them. Unless it's something I aspire too and would actually be achievable for me, in which case I aspire to them rather than try to pull them back.
Lets face it enough people must have aspired to achieve what others have rather than holding them back otherwise we'd still all be living in caves and using twigs to get sap and insects out of trees for food!0 -
Some people, male and female, want all eyes on them. Personally if I'm around a woman who is like that, I let them have at it. It's not my thing. As far as jealousy, what's the point? If someone has something that I want, a great body for instance, then I will work on having a great body. If they have a million dollars, well I'm not going to have that. So why be jealous?0
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if women were catty to beautiful women, I would be subjected to cattiness constantly.0
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why would making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on gender be morally better than making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on colour?
you dismissing what I see as justified offence to an insult aimed directly at me, as a woman, as silly is also pretty insulting.
Ah well my sincerest apologies for offending you with my brash statements and sweeping generalizations. Please feel free to further play the victim card and take the slightest statement as an insult, it's quite attractive and compelling
hey now, play nice
Why can't we all just get along?? :sad:
not srs.
I believe you and I are getting along just fine :laugh: Let's not worry ourselves with insignificant details0 -
I actually think a woman's ability to be a jealous bish is directly related to how poorly she's been treated over the years of her life. If she's young and has been treated well, she's barely ever jealous; if she's old and has been treated well she's even less jealous. If, however, she's young and has been treated poorly, she's learning to envy the lives of others and if she's old and has been treated poorly for years, she's bitter and angry and hurt... and very jealous.
So next time you wonder why someone is jealous, consider they could have been terribly hurt at one time.
/endthread
This is very true.0 -
Ok, so I'm going to just ignore some of the nastier comments and only address myself... Not going to presume to understand others feelings
When I was much younger, I hated being around other women, they were always petty... Looking back I now realize it was because I was blonde haired, blue eyed, and at 5'7' was 125-130 pounds (US size 6-8) fairly attractive in my own right. The ladies in my family are drop-dead gorgeous, so I never really thought anything of how I looked, because in my eyes I didn't even come close to comparing with them, why bother.
Do I get jealous of other women? There have been times (not gonna lie), but for me growing up in the shadows of the gorgeous (and OMG intellegent women of my family (one is an Aero Space Engineer, highly sought after in her field)). Most of the time, I look at women that are beautiful with appreciation. It's just how I was raised....
Now on the flip side... I am a people watcher, and I will look at how some women dress and just OMG it to death! I'm a big girl still (working on changing that, now a size 14-16), and I see girls twice my size wearing clothes that my toddler MIGHT wear... HOLY CRAP BATMAN! REALLY????
So my question about women isn't so much about jealousy... More along the lines of how can a woman dress (and I use dress very losely) that way and not expect people to be amazed (in a negative way)?? How much pride do you have in yourself to let your fat rolls and your sn!@#$% hang out that way??0 -
I actually think a woman's ability to be a jealous bish is directly related to how poorly she's been treated over the years of her life. If she's young and has been treated well, she's barely ever jealous; if she's old and has been treated well she's even less jealous. If, however, she's young and has been treated poorly, she's learning to envy the lives of others and if she's old and has been treated poorly for years, she's bitter and angry and hurt... and very jealous.
So next time you wonder why someone is jealous, consider they could have been terribly hurt at one time.
^ This, although it applies to men and women alike. I personally think that some of the perceived differences here are from how men and women are socialized differently from each other. Women who grew up as "tom boys" or involved in sports usually handle these things differently, IMHO, which is why I'm pushing my daughters that direction. I think sports teaches some very important life lessons about how to deal with the competition. But again, there are plenty of guys who act like catty PIAs.0 -
I actually think a woman's ability to be a jealous bish is directly related to how poorly she's been treated over the years of her life. If she's young and has been treated well, she's barely ever jealous; if she's old and has been treated well she's even less jealous. If, however, she's young and has been treated poorly, she's learning to envy the lives of others and if she's old and has been treated poorly for years, she's bitter and angry and hurt... and very jealous.
So next time you wonder why someone is jealous, consider they could have been terribly hurt at one time.
/endthread
This is very true.
Agreed.0 -
I only ever get jealous if the man I'm dating or interested in, is paying attention to another girl. I do not get jealous of women who look better than me. I had a girlfriend who was constantly putting down other women and thinking that her guy (whoever he was at the time) was looking at other women. She was paranoid and crazy. I don't understand that, but I'm sure there was something messed up in her life growing up that made her that way.0
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^^cattiness. you must be jealous of me.why would making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on gender be morally better than making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on colour?
you dismissing what I see as justified offence to an insult aimed directly at me, as a woman, as silly is also pretty insulting.
Ah well my sincerest apologies for offending you with my brash statements and sweeping generalizations. Please feel free to further play the victim card and take the slightest statement as an insult, it's quite attractive and compelling
hey now, play nice
Why can't we all just get along?? :sad:
not srs.
I believe you and I are getting along just fine :laugh: Let's not worry ourselves with insignificant details0 -
Root Cause Analysis Dept.
Mothers with daughters: your daughter isn't going to believe you when you tell her shes beautiful one moment and the next moment look at yourself in the mirror and tear yourself apart. Father's, I think share the bulk of that responsibility and also-- leading by example towards her mother and her-- teaching his daughter what respect is.
We men step up and do that, we nip a lot of this societal, pop-culture claptrap in the bud.
I think this is worth a bump too.0 -
ha! I'm not jelly at all...and its my unfortunate experience that its men who are always jealous...and violently so. So no, there is no hormone forgodssake!
Men are always violently jealous? Well I suppose that works, since this is a thread of generalizations..
My point exactly! People are mere carbon copies of each other
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I think that as you get older you tend to be less jealous unless you are placed in a situation that warrants it. For example, if I see a woman who is dressed nicely or looks good I tend to think *good for her* or admire how her outfit is put together. If I love someone's shoes I tell them. If I see someone lifting heavier or going harder than me at the gym I tend to admire them; not be jealous - it inspires me to do more. I think jealousy, for the most part, comes from insecurities within ourselves we need to address.
BUT - put me in a situation where someone is overlooking me and hitting on my husband blatantly or something of that nature, its a whole different story.0 -
It's not what women HAVE.. its what they DONT have..
Its called maturity. some get it sooner than others. Some never get it.
Those that have this "cattiness / jealousy" thing between other women plain & simple just havent gotten it yet!
^^^^ beautifully said.....and ditto from me!!0 -
^ This, although it applies to men and women alike. I personally think that some of the perceived differences here are from how men and women are socialized differently from each other. Women who grew up as "tom boys" or involved in sports usually handle these things differently, IMHO, which is why I'm pushing my daughters that direction. I think sports teaches some very important life lessons about how to deal with the competition. But again, there are plenty of guys who act like catty PIAs.
True...strong nature v. nurture debate within this.0 -
I only ever get jealous if the man I'm dating or interested in, is paying attention to another girl. I do not get jealous of women who look better than me. I had a girlfriend who was constantly putting down other women and thinking that her guy (whoever he was at the time) was looking at other women. She was paranoid and crazy. I don't understand that, but I'm sure there was something messed up in her life growing up that made her that way.
This is interesting, too. I never had problems with jealousy issues UNTIL I dated a guy who complimented every girl in the room but me. After a year or so of hearing how hot every other woman was, my confidence took a serious beating and it impacted the way I looked at other women.
Happy to report that the loser is gone and I'm back to normal :-)0 -
why would making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on gender be morally better than making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on colour?
you dismissing what I see as justified offence to an insult aimed directly at me, as a woman, as silly is also pretty insulting.
Ah well my sincerest apologies for offending you with my brash statements and sweeping generalizations. Please feel free to further play the victim card and take the slightest statement as an insult, it's quite attractive and compelling
hey now, play nice
Why can't we all just get along?? :sad:
not srs.
I believe you and I are getting along just fine :laugh: Let's not worry ourselves with insignificant details
Picking and choosing your battles, eh? The Misc. has taught you well.0 -
Ok, so I'm going to just ignore some of the nastier comments and only address myself... Not going to presume to understand others feelings
When I was much younger, I hated being around other women, they were always petty... Looking back I now realize it was because I was blonde haired, blue eyed, and at 5'7' was 125-130 pounds (US size 6-8) fairly attractive in my own right. The ladies in my family are drop-dead gorgeous, so I never really thought anything of how I looked, because in my eyes I didn't even come close to comparing with them, why bother.
Do I get jealous of other women? There have been times (not gonna lie), but for me growing up in the shadows of the gorgeous (and OMG intellegent women of my family (one is an Aero Space Engineer, highly sought after in her field)). Most of the time, I look at women that are beautiful with appreciation. It's just how I was raised....
Now on the flip side... I am a people watcher, and I will look at how some women dress and just OMG it to death! I'm a big girl still (working on changing that, now a size 14-16), and I see girls twice my size wearing clothes that my toddler MIGHT wear... HOLY CRAP BATMAN! REALLY????
So my question about women isn't so much about jealousy... More along the lines of how can a woman dress (and I use dress very losely) that way and not expect people to be amazed (in a negative way)?? How much pride do you have in yourself to let your fat rolls and your sn!@#$% hang out that way??
:huh:0 -
It's not a hormone, it's insecurity.
Not every woman is like that... Example:
At my husband's work he had a girl who was hot enough to be a swim suit model come through and ask him for help. After he was done helping her out, I told him I was proud of him for being so smooth with a total hottie. I was proud, she was really beautiful.
Maybe we're just weird... I've never been jealous of that kinda stuff.
^^ THIS!!
Not many people have mentioned it.. but the ONLY reason why women get jealous is because of insecurities. Behavior is conditioned based on our surroundings. Some people, both men and women, need their ego stroked more than others. But, it all comes down to how a person feels about the situation.0 -
This entire thread kind of disgusts me. I agree with sweeping generalisation 'victim' (how dare she stand up for women? women are to be seen and not heard. unless they're pretty.)
Society, men and magazines perpetrate the belief that all women should (and do) care about, judge and envy other womens' bodies.
On the whole, women who do this have only been conditioned into this behaviour. Men have varied role models of different looks, ages and weights. Women are constantly given the message to be successful you have to look a certain way. E.g. This year's female wimbledon winner was described by a commentator as 'not a looker' as if that was an important factor for a tennis player...0 -
In this society, every movie, every commercial, every magazine cover tells you that a woman's worth is directly proportionate to her looks. That message in pervasive and relentless.
And it affects all (it affects how man view women too), some women just manifest it differently.
No one wants to suddenly be worth less than someone else, and women are kind of put in this position when a much prettier woman walks in.0 -
My guess is it's got nothing to do with hormones at all. Fron a social standpoint (in terms of pre-conceived notions about women and men, I'm not saying I agree with them) Women are supposed to take care of themselves appearance wise, they are supposed to be patient mothers, they're supposed to be polite and reserved (we're going WAY BACK for these stereotypes folks) and conversely men are supposed to be tough, hard working providers.
Men get jealous too, they just get jealous of money, power and material things. So do you have the hormone that causes that? lol
Of course, I'm not meaning ALLLLL men or women, but your penis does not make you immune to jealousy.0 -
he said those things only because he's jealous of me.This entire thread kind of disgusts me. I agree with sweeping generalisation 'victim' (how dare she stand up for women? women are to be seen and not heard. unless they're pretty.)
Society, men and magazines perpetrate the belief that all women should (and do) care about, judge and envy other womens' bodies.
On the whole, women who do this have only been conditioned into this behaviour. Men have varied role models of different looks, ages and weights. Women are constantly given the message to be successful you have to look a certain way. E.g. This year's female wimbledon winner was described by a commentator as 'not a looker' as if that was an important factor for a tennis player...
I strongly suspect I get more lady action than he does.0 -
Women hate women
I agree with this statement...women secretly and in some cases openly hate each other. Ever see your mother and grandmother in the kitchen together trying to cook? Dear Lord...i'd rather go out to avoid the arguing and nasty looks.0 -
No we don't.Women hate women
I agree with this statement...women secretly and in some cases openly hate each other. Ever see your mother and grandmother in the kitchen together trying to cook? Dear Lord...i'd rather go out to avoid the arguing and nasty looks.
Some women do, sure. But this is not true of all of us. Just stop. Please.
This is that stereotype that makes me want to kick puppies and kittens and if you know anything about me, that's as extreme as it gets.
Women who are immature and insecure hate and are suspicious of other women. Not all women (I would venture MOST) are not immature and insecure and we DO NOT FEEL THIS WAY, openly or secretly.0 -
This entire thread kind of disgusts me. I agree with sweeping generalisation 'victim' (how dare she stand up for women? women are to be seen and not heard. unless they're pretty.)
Society, men and magazines perpetrate the belief that all women should (and do) care about, judge and envy other womens' bodies.
On the whole, women who do this have only been conditioned into this behaviour. Men have varied role models of different looks, ages and weights. Women are constantly given the message to be successful you have to look a certain way. E.g. This year's female wimbledon winner was described by a commentator as 'not a looker' as if that was an important factor for a tennis player...
Marion Bartoli is beautiful, and the perpetrator of those statements has a history of chauvinistic statements. What's sad is he did suggest that women who are not endowed with perfect looks are forced to work much harder in this life. Which is suggesting that if you're an attractive woman, you can sit on your bum all day and if not? You're screwed.
Eh, he probably got used to seeing Maria Sharapova prance around at Wimbledon, who is more of the feminine ideal, at least according to men's magazines0 -
why would making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on gender be morally better than making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on colour?
you dismissing what I see as justified offence to an insult aimed directly at me, as a woman, as silly is also pretty insulting.
Ah well my sincerest apologies for offending you with my brash statements and sweeping generalizations. Please feel free to further play the victim card and take the slightest statement as an insult, it's quite attractive and compelling
hey now, play nice
Why can't we all just get along?? :sad:
not srs.
I believe you and I are getting along just fine :laugh: Let's not worry ourselves with insignificant details
Picking and choosing your battles, eh? The Misc. has taught you well.
Yes ma'am
All of those "Uwotm8", neg threats and "you cheeky kent you" gives you thick skin and makes you forum savvy, nomsaying?0
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