Less Alcohol - August 2018 - One Day at a Time

donimfp

Re: social events AF: I have a couple of big events in September and October that are fun but/and also involve a good deal of available alcohol. I am just finishing reading "A Happier Hour" by Rebecca "Bex" Weller of Sexy Sobriety. Toward the end of the book, she recounts going to her first super major event with lots of drinking--a wedding with the festivities stretching over 8 hours. I thought she had a brilliant idea. Before going, she made herself a dessert and put it in the freezer for when she returned home, changed the sheets, put a new essential oil and good book by her bed, and prepared for treating herself after she drove herself home "like a sober rockstar." I think that's a great, and fun, strategy. It would give you (me) something indulgent to look forward to. She also has a quote about doing anything for the first time or in the early stages, including socializing without alcohol: "It's always awkward before it's elegant." I like that, too. It's reassuring.

andysport1

I guess I’d tried to moderate for years
That clearly didn’t work for me
So AF became my chosen path

AF has been so much easier than moderation
Apart from a few days it’s actually been a pleasure
Even with another alcoholic in the house it’s still easy.

That’s my experience
Good luck finding what works for you

karenesg

donimfp wrote: »

Re: social events AF: I have a couple of big events in September and October that are fun but/and also involve a good deal of available alcohol. I am just finishing reading "A Happier Hour" by Rebecca "Bex" Weller of Sexy Sobriety. Toward the end of the book, she recounts going to her first super major event with lots of drinking--a wedding with the festivities stretching over 8 hours. I thought she had a brilliant idea. Before going, she made herself a dessert and put it in the freezer for when she returned home, changed the sheets, put a new essential oil and good book by her bed, and prepared for treating herself after she drove herself home "like a sober rockstar." I think that's a great, and fun, strategy. It would give you (me) something indulgent to look forward to. She also has a quote about doing anything for the first time or in the early stages, including socializing without alcohol: "It's always awkward before it's elegant." I like that, too. It's reassuring.

Love this. Am struggling. Thanks for sharing

karenesg

andysport1 wrote: »

I guess I’d tried to moderate for years
That clearly didn’t work for me
So AF became my chosen path

AF has been so much easier than moderation
Apart from a few days it’s actually been a pleasure
Even with another alcoholic in the house it’s still easy.

That’s my experience
Good luck finding what works for you

I get what you're saying.
Moderation isn't working for me right now but committing to AF sounds daunting.

donimfp

@karenesg, I've tried to make moderation work for me, too, and it doesn't. But I totally get the "daunting" part. Once I decided that going AF was the path I personally needed to be on, I tried and failed many times to make that leap. For me, reading everything I can get my hands on and coming to this group is what has helped. I feel a real difference "this" time. I think it's mainly because of a change of mind-set that has allowed me to truly not miss alcohol for the first time. It's only been 3 weeks, so I'm by no means claiming "victory," but I think hanging in there and, for me, educating myself and reading inspirational and informative books, has been the key. As the quote I cited above says, "It's always awkward before it's elegant." I say embrace the awkwardness, be gentle with yourself, and don't give up. [NOTE: I'm saying this in the context of your statement that "Moderation isn't working for me." I am not saying going AF is the right path for everyone. Some people are able to moderate quite successfully. I'm just not one of them.]

karenesg

Thanks @donimfp. I definitely am not a good moderator, am an all or nothing kind of thinker and have trouble finding/keeping balance in many aspects of life. Must remind myself to 'stay in the gray' a lot. But after that first drink I can't... and go for the all. Waking in the morning or middle of the night worried, trying to remember stuff, vowing to quit, is old. So is being the smart-*kitten*, silly drunk. I went AF for a while and then... not. Was a good practice run I guess. I like 'easy' (as opposed to so much in life that's anything but), and as andysport1 said I think AF will be much easier than (the struggle) of moderation. one. day/hour. at. a. time.

Like another said up the thread, many people here are putting themselves out there, sharing intimate details to help others and I really appreciate it. Thanks, everyone, for sharing your struggles and successes. You're helping a lot more people than you probably realize.

Congrats @donimfp on your 3 weeks. That's awesome, a lot to be proud of for sure. Hang in there, and again Thank You for addressing my post, you’re a blessing :

SunnyDays930

@karenesg I'm in the same boat. Once I drink one then that opens the floodgates. For ME, alcohol wants more alcohol. Much easier to have none than one. Anyway last night we went out for wings and I really felt like a beer, mainly for the taste...I like beer with wings or crabs, but had an O'Douhls (alcohol free beer). I hope that wasn't cheating. I had one and it was filling so that was that. So I still consider myself AF. 13 days now. I haven't done that many since I took a month off in 2013. It feels nice to wake up not wondering if I embarrassed myself, not hung over or tired, and remembering everything about the day before.

karenesg

ElC_76 wrote: »

@SpanishFusion I believe in prayer too. Also try meditation. You cant think clear while your anxious. I find that helps to get back into focus. Remember what u believe, stay strong.
Wish you the best. I'll be adding you to my prayers.

Hugs and prayers @SpanishFusion . Stay strong, wishing the best for you and your mom... the best care, support, peace
"Remember what u believe" ... great advice for us all, thanks, @ElC_76
I love all the support here

pjmfitforme

So last night was my second planned moderate drinking. It went well. Here are some of my observations from being AF for five days and moderate drinking for 2 days. I slept much better when I did not drink. Made better food choices when I did not drink. Here’s to AF again this week

NormInv

JenT304 wrote: »

@karenesg I'm in the same boat. Once I drink one then that opens the floodgates. For ME, alcohol wants more alcohol. Much easier to have none than one. Anyway last night we went out for wings and I really felt like a beer, mainly for the taste...I like beer with wings or crabs, but had an O'Douhls (alcohol free beer). I hope that wasn't cheating. I had one and it was filling so that was that. So I still consider myself AF. 13 days now. I haven't done that many since I took a month off in 2013. It feels nice to wake up not wondering if I embarrassed myself, not hung over or tired, and remembering everything about the day before.

nice job and AF beer is not cheating IMO

lorrainequiche59

karenesg wrote: »

Moderation isn't working for me right now but committing to AF sounds daunting.

Perhaps it sounds daunting if you're thinking of forever. It may help if you just think about today or this moment. It can also seem daunting if you feel like you're going it alone or depending on willpower. Obviously, by sharing you're reaching out & as others have said above there is a lot of resources to help you. Annie Grace has a 30-day Alcohol Experiment that can guide you day by day. She doesn't pressure or guilt/shame a person. Just informs & supports. It's worth checking out if you're looking for some help. Hoping you find your way.

@SpanishFusion Thinking of you and your Mom & sending hugs.

RubyRed427

I just read a statistic that 7-12 percent of the population (depends on the source it ranged from 7-12) in America are Alcoholics. So, that means 90 percent of you aren’t and can continue to moderate successfully. That’s good news. Many of you have set your limits/goals and continue to meet them. I’m happy you can moderate; I wish I could. Sending @SpanishFusion another hug I’m sure the weekend was difficult. @karenesg It may take some ups and downs on your journey, but eventually you will find what works for you. Like @lorrainequiche59 says think of it in small terms. Just like our weight loss goals can be too daunting if we think of losing 50 pounds, Instead I think of ten pounds at a time. Good night my friends. Xo

ElC_76

Just a little reminder that kombucha tea is a good substitute .

Orphia

I was just exploring Australia's official health site, and read a good tip for controlling your drinking.

"Keep track of your drinking habits. Instead of relying on memory, jot down your drinks in a diary to see exactly how much and how often you drink."

Logging in MFP should really help with this. You're all logging, right?

Or you might find it easier to start a spreadsheet or notebook. I find keeping statistics is a way of keeping honest with myself.

WinoGelato

Orphia wrote: »

I was just exploring Australia's official health site, and read a good tip for controlling your drinking.

"Keep track of your drinking habits. Instead of relying on memory, jot down your drinks in a diary to see exactly how much and how often you drink."

Logging in MFP should really help with this. You're all logging, right?

Or you might find it easier to start a spreadsheet or notebook. I find keeping statistics is a way of keeping honest with myself.

I started this back in Jan a little notepad next to my bed with three columns for each month:
AF, A, #. I like being able to see the tallies throughout the month, like to be able to quickly figure out my average number of drinks per drinking day and per week.

My moderation goal is more AF days than drinking days for the month, less than 3 drinks/day on the drinking days and less than 10 drinks/week.

I thought I would not track it after a few months but just like with MFP food tracking I find it more comfortable to track it than not now that it’s a habit.

JohnBarth

Happy Monday everyone. Hope those of you that had the goal to be AF were able to stick to it! I was definitely challenged this weekend, as I had some extra calories and did a bunch of work on the house in hot, humid weather. This is typically the time when I'd slug 3-4 beers before even thinking about anything else. The thought crossed my mind, but I'm committed to my current goal and had a couple of diet cokes instead.

lorrainequiche59

Good Morning I'm not sure how many here are aware that JenT304 started a new thread called The Sober Squad, for those of us who are AF. That's a better fit for me at this point in my journey, but will still be lurking here & reading, perhaps commenting if the mood hits.

SO thankful to this thread for helping me get to this point and hoping the very best for everyone here. You likely haven't heard the last from me LOL I shall be hovering...Take Care this beautiful day & may you stick to your goals & feel good about any progress you make.

donimfp

OK, I logged my breakfast this morning and will get back to logging all my food, although I have trouble logging because I tend to eat things like "thinkly shaved zucchini spread with hummus" and have trouble figuring out how to log that and amounts, etc. The good thing is that I didn't have to pre-log my 3 (ha!!!) glasses of wine. First of all, it was never three, and second of all, the "glasses" were not exactly regulation.

karenesg

JohnBarth wrote: »

Happy Monday everyone. Hope those of you that had the goal to be AF were able to stick to it! I was definitely challenged this weekend, as I had some extra calories and did a bunch of work on the house in hot, humid weather. This is typically the time when I'd slug 3-4 beers before even thinking about anything else. The thought crossed my mind, but I'm committed to my current goal and had a couple of diet cokes instead.

@JohnBarth - That is AWESOME!!!! Good for you!! I have trouble in situations like this too. I admire your determination

ktc1968

Happy August, even though it is August 13th today will be day 1 AF. I look forward to day 2.