The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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@RubyRed427 There's no "new" puppy ... it's my old puppy ... he's technically a "senior" (11 going on 12) but he's really a "puppy @ heart"
@lilarose1027 Very loving to be supportive of your hubby's resolve to stop drinking. Certainly he'll appreciate having an AF home to work on his issue.
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I've always believed that drinking is only a "symptom" of the real problem lurking behind the drinking. It's not the drinking but the thinking that is the problem. Like most have commented alcohol is promoted to have fun, chill with friends, release stress etc etc etc. It is glamorized and romanticized etc, so it IS difficult to move on from that end of things. BUT it is a facade as we well know...it is NOT real and if we NEED a drink to have fun, chill with friends, relieve stress as is portrayed in the media then that is just evidence of a problem...so from now on perhaps we can think differently when we see all the ads that glorify POISON and the attempts to brainwash us into thinking we are somehow missing out! It is an industry that is making people sick physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually while they rake in the bucks from polluting others. It's actually sick!! and very greedy!! I am so glad I'm not contributing to that anymore by financing them through my own use.
I believe I will be in "recovery" for a length of time, but my recovery isn't from drinking too much & too often, it is recovery from what led me to drink too much & too often...which is the pain in my life that I was trying to drink down. When we are trying to stop doing something harmful to improve ourselves any "shame" from others really lies with them. THEY are leaking their own shame onto us...they are reminded of their own problem and still working really hard to deny they have a problem cause they either are not ready to stop it, OR do not want to stop. I know this cause I did it for many years, so I can now see it in others.
What I have found since I stopped drinking is that those who continue to, don't want to be around me so much anymore. It isn't due to me preaching the benefits of sobriety because I do not unless I am asked and I'm not asked often...I am a reminder to them that they are still doing what I stopped doing. So rather than feeling ashamed, I feel proud for fighting every day because some days it is not easy, but I never want to go back to "easy" cause in the long run it is the absolute hardest!!
We ALL should be proud of ourselves for fighting even when we put our gloves down once or twice because if we are still on this thread we are still fighting!!! HAPPY DAY to all here and may we all have a healthy, happy AF day!! 9 -
I love this thread. I am 8 days now. My runs are improving. I am feeling happier. I worked out every day this week.
Ruby red i totaaly get the need to finish off others wine. I hate wasted alcohol.3 -
Well put as usual @lorrainquiche592
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End of a happy AF weekend. I went to see the film "Yesterday" and found it so delightfully joyfully wonderful! What a fun experience. And I didn't even envy my mom's "Bloody Mary Comes to Me" cocktail. They were serving Beatles-themed drinks with the film. If you liked Slumdog Millionaire, I recommend Yesterday!5
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@donimfp I was needing a good movie! Thanks for the suggestion. I really loved "Rocketman" which I've already recommended on this thread.
@lorrainequiche59 You are wise!
I am nearing the end of the vacation with extended family. Six days in West Virginia- I did feel a pull towards the bar on a few occasions. I also saw lots of revelers last night in the great hall drinking, wine glasses full, three whiskey bottles on a table, etc. There was a huge family reunion hanging out and drinking.
I must say that my first thought was I do not want the hangover that some of them will feel tomorrow. I am still petrified of feeling that hangover. Sometimes, that alone, keeps me sober. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know that I spent this whole vacation sober and content.9 -
@RubyRed427 A sober vacation is such an accomplishment. Proud of you!
Today is a holiday here, but I must work. I could move it to another day, but will regret having too much work in one day just to have this day off. I've been feeling a little blue lately....something's brewing inside of me. My antidote is to count my many blessings, and to repeat as needed throughout the day....
One of my many blessings is this thread and the support I have here.
Another is, It is a beautiful sunny day with the cute wee birds chirping away...I bet birds don't get depressed LOL But if they do, they sing anyway...!
I have a reliable vehicle to get to work and I have work to pay the bills...AND before I know it, I will be done my work and glad I went!!
Hope everyone's day has many blessings
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RubyRed great work on the sober vacation. I always feel like drinking is part of vacation.
Lorraine-we should all count our blessings. I find when I am sober I realize when I am going down. You are strong and you will get past this.3 -
Good morning everyone.. It's been a while, but I'm ready to get back on the horse permanently.. I did my 90 days with one slip, then we were having company up to visit in wine country and that started my downhill slide.. I was the DD while everyone wine tasted, but played catch up once we were settled in for the night.. Since then, I've had drinks on more nights than I'd like to admit.. I didn't really enjoy it, but felt the 'withdrawal' and urge to drink on nights following.. I've felt more down also as of late and the alcohol only fuels it. I hope that at times when I have urges to drink that I can reflect on the last 2 weeks to keep myself in check.. I really wasn't missing out on anything at all, but the loss factor is a big thing/issue for me. It's also astounding how easily I can gain weight, despite how long it takes to lose it. So back to day 1 for me, starting the 2nd half of the year off right. At least my attempts in the first half of the year give me confidence in overcoming the first few tough weeks.. Hopefully this time I can stick with my mantra of 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it' and just let AF living be the peacefulness that it is.
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@RubyRed427 I love your new picture! You look so refreshed and happy and lovely! 5
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
Me too! Beautiful young woman with such good things ahead of you!!5 -
Good afternoon friends! Wishing you a wonderful day!
Happy Fourth of July to my American friends 💙!5 -
GOOD MORN to all We're quiet once more....had to go to page 2 to find our thread. I assume, like myself over the past several days that we're all just "lurking" and not participating necessarily. Hoping everyone is healthy, happy and AF...I'm heading to work and have something to share later but wanted to get us back on page one of this FANTASTIC, supportive thread!!
@FeelinFooFoo Thumbs up to you It's a growth process when we stop using alcohol to medicate the hurts...all that alcohol does is STOP our growth...it keeps us stagnant and dependent and controlled!! YAY to "freedom to blossom!!" You ARE growing!! 5 -
Well I just popped in and thought I'd share. Im on vacation with the fam and the weather is very hot. We get off our boat yesterday for food and walk around and people are literally staggering drunk everywhere. Im seeing this and you know what I'm thinking.
Were at a table and a woman...a very middle aged woman was taking a selfie while sipping a mixed drink..she looked awful...as in it wasnt her first drink.
A while later we stop for ice cream..Im walking along with my daughter and a man was hanging over a railing puking in the water! He was if I had to guess beyond dehydrated drinking all day out in the sun. Barfing over the rail for the world to see.
Happy to be enjoying the vaca AF!4 -
@aroze0928 Isn't that attractive?? NOT!! I bet that's some incentive to remain AF!! Nice to be on this side of that type of behavior though. You never know though, one of those people who are having difficulty with alcohol may be on this thread or similar one day working towards a change...we can always hope for their healing. 2
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I know @lorrainquiche59. I felt so bad. Walking around greatful that I made this change for myself and my family.4
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If you set a goal not to drink and keep falling short...maybe, just maybe...there might be another matter...just saying7
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GOOD MORN I was going to share something yesterday and forgot what the heck it was LOL I like to refer to these mind-gap sessions as "brain farts" I'm almost certain it would have been something very profound LOL Oh well, I'm also fairly certain I have OTHER redeeming qualities besides a selective memory.
johnnyblastick559 wrote: »If you set a goal not to drink and keep falling short...maybe, just maybe...there might be another matter...just saying
YUP!! Like I've read "drinking is ONLY a symptom of an underlying issue" It isn't a matter of drinking too much, it is a matter of WHY are you drinking too much? It is interesting to me when you observe people who have stopped drinking but haven't worked on their issues...the term is "dry drunk" they still have stinky thinking etc etc The only observable difference in their life is their elbow has stopped moving from drink to lips.
It IS difficult to do the work (looking at the messy and not so attractive parts of ourselves or the hurts we've tried to bury) and takes a certain amount of courage to do the work and sometimes can get to the point where it "seems" too difficult to do it sober, but how else can you work on it...? cause if you go back to drinking, you're basically giving up on yourself!! I've given up on myself WAY too many times in the past and I deserve to do the work...that sounds kinda weird but hope the point is made somehow.
Hope whatever this day brings, may it bring you closer to your goals
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I know @lorrainquiche59. I felt so bad. Walking around greatful that I made this change for myself and my family.
They say timing is everything and it's interesting the timing on your comment yesterday is in line with the comment in the book, "Letting Go" for July 5 and I'm not connecting it to your feeling "grateful" for your sobriety but for me it triggered an issue that some of us may wrestle with as we become healthier. The title of the blurb for that day is "Survivor Guilt" For certain we feel grateful for our own sobriety, but may struggle with guilt cause ones around us that we care for are still stuck in their disease. Anyway, I'm going to share the following blurb in the hopes that it may help someone who is working through their own guilty feelings.
A couple of sentences resonated with me and hope they do with you also. " ...it hurts to leave behind those we love. But, keep moving forward anyway. Be patient. Other people's recovery is not our job. We cannot make them recover. We cannot make them happy......their recovery is not our business.....We can let go of others with love, and love ourselves without guilt."
For me the key to that sentence is "loving ourselves without guilt" Guilt used to be my middle name, but not so much any longer...in fact, my elderly friend made me a sign..."No more guilt" years ago and every time I come across it, it is a reminder of how I struggled for so long feeling responsible for other people's issues and not realizing I felt bad about myself because I couldn't do anything to change it for them & believe me, I tried!! How do you love yourself, when you feel bad about yourself??? That is a heavy burden to bear and can contribute to our own drinking issue without us realizing it....
Anyway, we can work at feeling good about our own choices and not worry so much about others' choices. This is my goal for today.4 -
I haven't drank in 35 years but replaced booze with food. Went from 103 lbs 5'2" to 199 today. Dr. put me on 45 carb x3 (meals) plus 15 carb x2 (snacks) a day. I now see how the carb count in my fav foods was way too much.4
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johnnyblastick559 wrote: »If you set a goal not to drink and keep falling short...maybe, just maybe...there might be another matter...just saying
This may help some people but I just think it's an uncalled for post,to each their own11 -
I had wine a couple of days this week. One day way too much. Tomorrow would have been Day 100 for me. I have that written on tomorrow's date on my calendar. BUMMER. But ok. It's a process. I'm leaving Monday for my FIL's 90th birthday celebration. There will be drinking. Not heavy drinking, but drinking. Don't know how this is going to go. It's amazing how much even a little indulgence in alcohol sends me back to square one mentally. I feel SO good when I don't drink. I feel so depressed when I do drink. So it should be a no-brainer to choose not to drink. Right? I'm just talking to myself, but it helps to have this forum to do that. Have a great weekend, everyone.8
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@donimfp I'm struggling with the same thing. And the rapid clip at which I have gained weight back in the last couple weeks has made me even more depressed. I need to get over the hump so I can feel good again, but without forgetting how crappy I feel now, so that I remain AF over the long haul4
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Just watching videos for a tune up- here’s a newer one from Craig Beck- 24 min excellent tips. We have to dig into our passions and fill up our time doing them. You have a lot of time on your hands when you quit alcohol. I need to stay busy and not isolate myself in this apartment. Back to painting 🖼 and improving my craft.
https://youtu.be/LZBf92HWKKA 7 -
I had wine a couple of days this week. One day way too much. Tomorrow would have been Day 100 for me. I have that written on tomorrow's date on my calendar. BUMMER. But ok. It's a process. I'm leaving Monday for my FIL's 90th birthday celebration. There will be drinking. Not heavy drinking, but drinking. Don't Iknow how this is going to go. It's amazing how much even a little indulgence in alcohol sends me back to square one mentally. I feel SO good when I don't drink. I feel so depressed when I do drink. So it should be a no-brainer to choose not to drink. Right? I'm just talking to myself, but it helps to have this forum to do that. Have a great weekend, everyone.
I can relate. I feel so much better emotionally when I don’t drink. And I go to the gym more often.... one drink is too much and a bottle never enough. Hang in there ! 🌺4 -
@lorrainquiche59 letting go sounds like a book I should look into. Thanks for all the inspiring info you put on the table. It sounds like it could be helpful for me. Im going strong with the AF. And I know I have to keep going. I also have obstacles in my way and I need all the help I can get to figure out how to handle that. Maybe this book can help me too.4
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@RubyRed427 thanks for the Craig Beck video...some really good reminders
@donimfp You're going through a rough patch, and have been through a lot over the past year and in spite of all that, you've made great progress...please be kind to yourself. I wish I could give you a hug in person.
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Thank you @RubyRed427 and @lorrainequiche59. Yes, being kind to myself means thinking of alcohol as "treating myself" to a big ol' swig of anxiety. Now why would (do) I do that??? I hate anxiety, but wine might as well have a big label on it saying Chateau du Panic or something like that. This little flirtation with it has only reminded me of how bad I feel when I drink.5
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johnnyblastick559 wrote: »If you set a goal not to drink and keep falling short...maybe, just maybe...there might be another matter...just saying
Of course there is we all know that. Cant say I've ever met a happy alcoholic. Thats why we're here.4
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