The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Quiche, I am glad you are staying strong in what is a very stressful and upsetting time. I'm really proud of you.
Ruby, I like what you said about never giving up no matter how many day 1's we have. That's how I felt with the 100 times I tried to quit smoking. I know one of these days the AF life will REALLY click for me. I get what VeggieGirl is saying...sometimes we don't want to think about alcohol at all. That's why I have no desire to go to any stop smoking threads...because it is totally in my rear view mirror. I don't feel like I'm "in recovery" when it comes to smoking. I am just a non smoker. I would love to totally be a non drinker too. I'm still working on it. It is not as easy for me as quitting smoking for reasons we have talked about here before, the main one being it is expected and condoned not condemned.
I wish you all a healthy and happy day
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Lorraine I'm so sorry about your brothers passing!😥 I haven't been around cuz tbh I was drinking last week ALOT everyday! My family got mad,sad, concerned about me and I just couldn't stop I was just so out of control 😭 day 4 and yeah I still feel rough but I'll get through, have a great AF day all6
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Lorraine I'm so sorry about your brothers passing!😥 I haven't been around cuz tbh I was drinking last week ALOT everyday! My family got mad,sad, concerned about me and I just couldn't stop I was just so out of control 😭 day 4 and yeah I still feel rough but I'll get through, have a great AF day all
Happens to the best of us!! Be gentle with yourself. Move on. One day at a time is all you can focus on.4 -
Lorraine I'm so sorry about your brothers passing!😥 I haven't been around cuz tbh I was drinking last week ALOT everyday! My family got mad,sad, concerned about me and I just couldn't stop I was just so out of control 😭 day 4 and yeah I still feel rough but I'll get through, have a great AF day all
SO happy to hear from you...I MISSED YOU We ALL missed you! Ditto to Ruby's loving words to you 
THANK YOU for all the & hugs from everyone. 4 -
@whitpauly Most of us here can relate. I'm glad you are back 4
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Today is the WORST temptation day yet...I've been off work the past two days and have been in contact with family via text, FB and phone...I've really needed some alone time to bawl away even though there are times I feel SO alone, but I really need to be...my friend who has been there for me this weekend from the first horrible day, is taking me out to the beach for a walk down the sand and for Chinese food later...I NEED an escape from myself right now and hopefully will delay any temptation to numb it out for a moments time...
I've never thought for one second that I had this pesky drinking issue licked and do not think I ever will...it was interesting when I texted my niece who used to be one of my drinking buds, but is still there for me without the booze, but in a different way I suppose, and I told her that I am having difficulty RIGHT NOW and this is my worst temptation EVER she texted back, "DO NOT" and then said she'll call me when my sister who is briefly visiting leaves...THEN a few minutes later she texted that if she "remembered correctly that my goal for stopping was to prove I wasn't an alcoholic and to lose weight which you have accomplished both of those things and I am so proud of you for carrying on this long" end of quote.
HMMMM if I needed any kind of incentive to go get a bottle of wine right now, THAT would be it...but I'm holding off...being with my friend who is NOT a drinker and walking the beach and eating and bitching & chewing about some of the enormous anger I have been feeling in the past two days, especially this day will help diffuse me somewhat...hopefully enough to remember what my TRUE goal was for stopping drinking. I don't KNOW if I am an "alcoholic" per se, but I DO KNOW I have a problem that could definitely be picked up where I dropped it off.
SO this is my reach out to y'all....HOPEFULLY by kicking our thread back on to page one someone will have some words of wisdom for me...please
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »Today is the WORST temptation day yet...I've been off work the past two days and have been in contact with family via text, FB and phone...I've really needed some alone time to bawl away even though there are times I feel SO alone, but I really need to be...my friend who has been there for me this weekend from the first horrible day, is taking me out to the beach for a walk down the sand and for Chinese food later...I NEED an escape from myself right now and hopefully will delay any temptation to numb it out for a moments time...
I've never thought for one second that I had this pesky drinking issue licked and do not think I ever will...it was interesting when I texted my niece who used to be one of my drinking buds, but is still there for me without the booze, but in a different way I suppose, and I told her that I am having difficulty RIGHT NOW and this is my worst temptation EVER she texted back, "DO NOT" and then said she'll call me when my sister who is briefly visiting leaves...THEN a few minutes later she texted that if she "remembered correctly that my goal for stopping was to prove I wasn't an alcoholic and to lose weight which you have accomplished both of those things and I am so proud of you for carrying on this long" end of quote.
HMMMM if I needed any kind of incentive to go get a bottle of wine right now, THAT would be it...but I'm holding off...being with my friend who is NOT a drinker and walking the beach and eating and bitching & chewing about some of the enormous anger I have been feeling in the past two days, especially this day will help diffuse me somewhat...hopefully enough to remember what my TRUE goal was for stopping drinking. I don't KNOW if I am an "alcoholic" per se, but I DO KNOW I have a problem that could definitely be picked up where I dropped it off.
SO this is my reach out to y'all....HOPEFULLY by kicking our thread back on to page one someone will have some words of wisdom for me...please
I dont have any wisdom. But I do know you will REGRET it. You will. I always do when I break down. For a few hours of mind numbing experience, you will have a headache, perhaps get sick because you're not used to it, and feel disappointed.
Tomorrow morning, I promise you that you will feel relieved or at least proud of yourself, that you didn't drink. Hang tough, Lorraine!!!3 -
The temptation always passes if you wait a little while.
Also, I would try meditation. Even find a youtube with Craig Beck to distract you. Sending you big hugs!! @lorrainequiche593 -
@RubyRed427 you stole my line I have no wisdom lol. You have plenty. I've read your inspiring words many times...Sorry @lorrainquiche59 your going through a rough time. Stay strong. I have my days too like this past weekend while we were away. I just think why not. It seems to be working for everyone else. I could use a few! But I know me. Giving in never worked for me. I know Ill feel like crap.. I know it'll drag into the next day and probably the day after that. Ive been watching Dr. Charles Stanley his recent show Steps to Wholeness was eye opening. Its about getting through pain.
Best wishes to all struggling.2 -
@RubyRed427 you stole my line I have no wisdom lol. You have plenty. I've read your inspiring words many times...Sorry @lorrainquiche59 your going through a rough time. Stay strong. I have my days too like this past weekend while we were away. I just think why not. It seems to be working for everyone else. I could use a few! But I know me. Giving in never worked for me. I know Ill feel like crap.. I know it'll drag into the next day and probably the day after that. Ive been watching Dr. Charles Stanley his recent show Steps to Wholeness was eye opening. Its about getting through pain.
Best wishes to all struggling.
You're very kind. You are very helpful to all of us!
I haven't heard of Dr. Stanley; I will find him on youtube if I can. I love learning new things especially about getting through pain.
Like many of you know, my children are with my ex on a luxury vacation; it's with many fun loving family members on his side. Sure, I am missing the fun and fellowship. But this week, anytime I have felt sad, missing them, missing the vacation, or lonely, I have stopped my thinking in its tracks. And changed my tune. I know it sounds simple, but it has worked so far.
I said to myself "I'm not the only one who can take care of my kids and love them; my kids are happy on a beach vacation and I am so happy for them. My ex is a good person and he also deserves to have a great time with them....." Seriously, I am convinced more and more that we are our thoughts. And I will not ruin my week or give them negative vibes, just because I'm here alone.
p.s. I have also gone to two AA meetings this week, because I don't want to slip into a bottle head first. The discussion topic tonight was "freedom: how has stopping drinking given you new freedom." I loved hearing everyone's responses. The best one was " I don't have to be handcuffed to a bottle all the time."
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RubyRed427 wrote: »
I dont have any wisdom. But I do know you will REGRET it. You will. I always do when I break down. For a few hours of mind numbing experience, you will have a headache, perhaps get sick because you're not used to it, and feel disappointed.
Tomorrow morning, I promise you that you will feel relieved or at least proud of yourself, that you didn't drink. Hang tough, Lorraine!!! [/quote]RubyRed427 wrote: »The temptation always passes if you wait a little while.
Also, I would try meditation. Even find a youtube with Craig Beck to distract you. Sending you big hugs!! @lorrainequiche59
Before I left to meet my friend for our "date" I called our local AA to find a woman's group and the only one was tonight at 7:30 and there is one Thursday eve at 10:30 a.m. miles from here...anyway, I texted my friend and asked her to accompany me to the meeting tonight after dinner even though it was closed to Alcoholics only, the woman I spoke with said they would make an exception for me to bring my non-drinking friend for support.. BUT My good intentions never got me to the meeting tonight cause I REALLY wanted to drink...
WELL...drum roll please....YUP I have two bottles of red wine on my counter.....UNOPENED and they will remain that way LOL The one I took out of my dog sitting dig's wine rack intending to replace it after I drank it cause I didn't want to walk into the local liquor store to purchase any...THEN as I got into my little town and approached that local liquor store, I had decided IF the parking lot was empty I would drive to a spot closest to the door, and purchase another bottle so that I wouldn't need to replace the one I "borrowed" AND voila, the parking lot was empty and I was hoping the girl who knows I stopped drinking wasn't working and voila she was not...bought a lovely red for $2.50 off and headed home intending to drink it....maybe...actually I intended to have one glass...max two, but we all know how intentions to set limits on drinking goes after the first glass. I even got out my fave wine glass that I saved for my fizzy mocktails and rinsed it out, set it on the counter and turned on my laptop to this fabulous supportive thread and read the above comments...I wasn't feeling like Craig Beck but went to Youtube hoping something I needed would catch my eye and I spied a Dick Cavett Interview entitled Dick Van *kitten* Talks Openly About Alcoholism and it is THE best explanation on alcoholism and problem drinking, social drinking I have ever watched. He has such an eloquent, non judgmental, factual way of explaining this issue...and I highly recommend taking the time to watch it...20 minute spiel that took away my craving...it was exactly what I need to hear. I love Craig Beck, but Dick Van Dyck has class and he is VERY easy to listen to...It is a definite re-watch for me.
I had an interesting conversation earlier via text with my niece who initially said, "No, Don't" when I reached out to her but later in our phone conversation she re-emphasized that I am NOT an alcoholic in her opinion and I have proven that I can stop and considering what I'm going through right now it certainly couldn't hurt...ALL the things my drinking brain wanted to hear...I asked her if she wanted her drinking partner back and she said, "yes" I even envisioned myself at my brother's celebration of life drinking along with the others, not feeling like the odd man out and fitting in once again with the drinkers and at one point I looked at my face in the mirror tonight and thought how nice my skin looks...then I read your comments and watched the interview.
I have decided I'm going to that AA meeting next Tuesday eve...I know it's a ways away and there are a lot of mixed groups, in fact one every day, but I told the girl on the AA hotline tonight that I cannot chance meeting my 2nd alcoholic husband or 55th alcoholic boyfriend at one of those meetings...I am a magnet for dysfunctional men and I cannot go there, so I need to check out the woman's only group. I told her I don't know if I'm an alcoholic but I am certainly a problem drinker. I'm actually looking forward to going to that group next week and telling them the story about tonight. When I phoned my friend who I was with for dinner & described my planned descent into drinking she couldn't stop laughing envisioning me going about my craziness and then instead I ate the rest of my meal that I doggybagged home and a half tub of ice cream...JUST to make sure there was no more room for any vino in my belly LOL I never liked drinking on a full stomach...usually once I ate the drinking was done, but most of my drinking was on an empty stomach...anyway, I am still a non drinker...YAY...no regrets tomorrow morn Ruby!! I know I will be SO glad in the morning. I almost had myself talked into sliding down the slippery slope one more time....Thanks for letting me share once again...
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OMG I'm am killing myself laughing...the stupid auto correct or whatever you call the politically corrector of swearing or rude words kicked in the first time I typed Van *kitten* and corrected it to Van "kitten" OMG are you kidding me!!!!!!?????? I wonder how it will fix it this time if it does cause further on in my above blurb it allowed *kitten*.2
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Van Dyck might work..anyway if it does it again it was the show with Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van *kitten*2
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OK Dick Van Dyck it is...I can't believe it is allowing me to type DICK!!! Are you kidding me...I'm still killing myself laughing...
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@RubyRed427 you stole my line I have no wisdom lol. You have plenty. I've read your inspiring words many times...Sorry @lorrainquiche59 your going through a rough time. Stay strong. I have my days too like this past weekend while we were away. I just think why not. It seems to be working for everyone else. I could use a few! But I know me. Giving in never worked for me. I know Ill feel like crap.. I know it'll drag into the next day and probably the day after that. Ive been watching Dr. Charles Stanley his recent show Steps to Wholeness was eye opening. Its about getting through pain.
Best wishes to all struggling.
Thank you 2 -
GOOD Sober AF Or whatever type of Morning, hopefully a good one for all...I have NO regrets from last eve and the two unopened bottles of wine are still on my kitchen counter waiting to be put elsewhere. I came SO close...it feels like I escaped something awful...It feels like the time in the initial phases of my sobriety and my former drinking bud got nailed for her 2nd DUI and for nights I would wake up several times with this feeling of dread thinking THAT could have been ME!! I am SO fortunate that isn't ME!! I am SO fortunate.....right now! 4
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@lorrainequiche59 you did dodge a bullet and a hangover today !! I’m happy for you - and of course if you would have imbibed we would love you too !4
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So today I was asked to tutor a
Student I’m tutoring during the school year ; the Dad asked if I would tutor Saturday’s. My first thought was “oh no I’ll have a hangover on Saturday’s.” It is far too true. I hope this won’t be true and I’ll hopefully be celebrating Months of sobriety by then. But I remember far too many Saturday’s spent in bed barely able to life my body.6 -
Here’s a blessing from not drinking : being able to drive anywhere at a moments notice.
One more comment :
Last night I had very disturbing dreams and in the dream I was drinking and then saying “oh no I forgot I quit.”6 -
OMG! I have been away for awhile and just logged in to find 41 new posts including YOUS, Lorraine. I am so unbelievably sorry for your loss. I’m sorry I wasn’t “here” for you but obviously all our group has been. You are incredibly strong and your posts as you go through this are an inspiration.
I’ve been drinking more days than not and I hate it. @RubyRed for me alcohol is a super fuel for anxiety. I was just yelling at myself for dosing myself with an anxiety producing drug and then hating that I’m filled with anxiety.
It’s so damned hard to “start over” so I’m very happy those 2 bottles remained unopened Lorraine.
Hugs in abundance. I too firmly believe a reunion with your brother is in your future but for now you’re handling the present like a rock star.5 -
I can't express how much all these posts mean to me, and probably to others that follow our thread, silently. You people are really, really kind and care so much about each other. It just moves me so much. Quiche, you are so strong. I'm still praying for you and for strength and comfort in this terrible time 6
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Here’s a blessing from not drinking : being able to drive anywhere at a moments notice.
One more comment :
Last night I had very disturbing dreams and in the dream I was drinking and then saying “oh no I forgot I quit.”
Love that Blessing for certain AND I'm thinking your dream was called a nightmare...I'm thinking of hitting up the morning AA meeting in that far away town tomorrow. I'm off again and love to drive and just filled my tank so I can't think of an excuse not to...
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OH btw one of those bottles of wine went back in the wine rack @ my client's and the other to my non-drinking friend's place Temptation averted this time around...phew!!!! 6
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Hi @whitpauly Thinking of you these days.
@donimfp You are here for me NOW!! Your timing is perfect & @JenT304 Thank you
There is NO shame in starting over, in fact it is a sign of humility & strength...one definition of humility is "teachable" and that is a strong quality that will help us to learn the lessons along the way...this is ALL a big huge learning curve and none of us has it perfected, but we DO truly care about each other as @JenT304 said above and we are helping each other as we learn that it is perfectly ok NOT to be perfect...in fact it's impossible because we are all imperfect, and so we struggle together!!!3 -
By the way, @lorrainequiche59, I loved the saga of trying to recommend the interview with Dick Van *kitten*. I’m sure Mrs. Grundy will change my version of the name. Im surprised his name doesn’t become Kitten Van Kitten. I admire his youthful outlook very much so look forward to the interview.6
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Thank you for starting this thread. I am on day 2,733 lol. I quit drinking and smoking, and any mind-altering substances over 7 years ago. My life has improved immensely. Food is still a struggle and source of temporary comfort for me. I'm heavier than ever and wish desperately to get myself under control. I try to combat my food issues the same way I combated my drinking but it hasn't worked for me. But I'm stubborn and refuse to give up. People change their lives for the better everyday...I can too.6
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hows ya'll doing tho4
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Hey all1
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JuliBiGoolee wrote: »Thank you for starting this thread. I am on day 2,733 lol. I quit drinking and smoking, and any mind-altering substances over 7 years ago. My life has improved immensely. Food is still a struggle and source of temporary comfort for me. I'm heavier than ever and wish desperately to get myself under control. I try to combat my food issues the same way I combated my drinking but it hasn't worked for me. But I'm stubborn and refuse to give up. People change their lives for the better everyday...I can too.
WELCOME to the best thread EVER!!! LOL Food is my last hold out and I still use it for comfort and need to get back to finding other ways again. I'm thinking that food was likely your first love as it was mine and a deeply entrenched source of comfort, not a healthy way to comfort ourselves but familiar huh?? I'm also thinking that our reasons for turning to substances for comfort/numbing/stuffing our feelings are also likely similar. Hugs to you for having the strength and courage to change. The food thing will change to if we don't give up trying to change it.
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