The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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I listened to the Dick Van *kitten* interview with Dick Cavett. Thanks for the recommendation, @lorrainequiche59. One thing he said was that an out-of-control alcoholic "can't" yell abuse at himself so he strikes out at the non-drinking spouse. I'm sure that is true in lots of situations. Yesterday I saw the film "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood." I'm not a Tarantino fan in general. He's just not my cup of tea, including this film. However, there is a very powerful scene in which Leonardo diCaprio's character turns his rage toward himself for his drinking. I think anyone who has struggled with alcohol the way many of us have will be affected by that scene. It really captured that "Why can't I just stop???" frustration very well, I thought.4
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@whitpauly, no, please don’t go by my “review.” Obviously the film won the Palme d’ Or at Cannes and many people loved it. Somehow I just don’t love Tarantino. But I enjoyed many specific scenes in this one and the acting is amazing. I just felt that one scene was so accurate as to how it feels when we get down on ourselves about drinking too much. Brad Pitt isn’t bad on the eyes, either.4
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@lorrainequiche59 I'm so sorry about your brother. I'm just getting caught up. Just got home from vacation and missed more than 70 messages. I'm really trying to stay more connected here. I just feel drawn to this thread more and more.
As far as a "high bottom" that was me. No consequences from my drinking other than I wanted to die but I still had my family in tact, job, etc. The high bottom has almost got me too on several occasions in the last almost 7 years.
@lorrainequiche59 I'm so happy to hear you went to your first meeting in more than a decade and I'm so happy to hear that your experience was good. Women's meetings are great!
@RubyRed427 I'm so happy to read you went to 3 meetings this week.
For those who want to seek AA and just don't know for certain if they are truly an alcoholic I would encourage you to read the chapter "More About Alcoholism" in the Big Book and see if you identify with anything.
Not that I'm an AA expert or anything but if anyone has questions feel free to reach out to me. I love AA, I'm coming up on 7 years and this program has saved my life, I have an amazing relationship with my husband, family, friends, etc because of this program. It's given me a design for living that has not done me wrong EVER. In the last year I've added one Alanon meeting a week as well and I'm now going through the steps in Alanon as well. That's is giving me a whole new design for living too.
Anyway...sorry I don't come on here to sell AA because I know there's many ways to recover but this way of living has saved my life time and time and time again.4 -
WOW!!! I am SO excited to see all these comments...OMG as in goodness!!! I've decided to change Dick Van "kitten's" name to Dick Van DICK pronounced with a long i instead of a short i...I know @Whitpauly it cracks me up too...in fact when I was trying to type his name that night and the MFP censor kept typing "kitten" when I hit post I actually went into fits of laughter...and as I was laughing at this ridiculous typo thing, I thought how much I need to just lose it in laughter LOL It is the "best medicine"
@JenT304 what a sad sad article & how easily it can happen...one bad decision to drink & drive and BOOM so many lives changed, some irreversibly forever. I'm sure most of us can relate to making the stupid decision to drink & get behind the wheel...Thank goodness my stupidity only resulted in a ton of guilt & shame for me!! @RubyRed427 That excerpt hit me too, especially "I didn't intend for it to become a habit. It just.....did!!
@FeelinFooFoo This is the spot to be when you want to be AFree!! even if it is only for a week. Hoping your kitty is recouping with all the TLC you're giving him.
@Donimfp YES that comment Dick Van DICK made about the alcoholic yelling abuse at the non-alcoholic spouse resonated with me because that is what my ex would do to me way back when. I just bought into his blaming me for his drinking...one of his favorites was that he drank cause I was a *kitten* among other things...the sad thing is I began to believe him. How far I have come since those days...he is still in his disease and just recently my daughter blocked him off FB because he began messaging her friends and saying obscene things and embarrassing my daughter to the point where she has now cut him out of her life. Sorry to say he deserves to be cut out of her life. When Dick Van D was explaining how alcohol destroys our brain cells and decreases our IQ I actually thought of my ex because his behavior is deplorable and I wonder if it is because he has brain damage, and I don't mean that in a ridiculing way, I truly wonder if he's wrecked his brain by drinking and even if he quit at this late date, the damage is done and is irreversible...there's another incentive to stop I suppose.
@Tifano Thank you
Yes I'm going to use AA as a support for now. And I do plan on attending a mixed group at some point, but just feel too vulnerable right now and want to ease into AA through a woman's group. I also want to check out a speaker meeting. My therapist actually really supports me going to AA because I'll find like-minded people who will help me to stick to my resolve. I've separated myself from my drinking friends and they have also separated themselves from me so perhaps I will find some new friends there.
And to all the others here who have commented THANK YOU for sharing...it is so helpful!!5 -
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Morning friends, Lorraine I definitely felt brain damaged after my last drinking session! Glad you're finding AA helpful 💗 waves to all and wishes for a fab AF day for us all!5
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OK I'm ticked at the MFP censor...not that I use foul language as a rule but "kitten" just doesn't cut it when it was supposed to be "Witch....with a B..." OR B.....itch!" Let's see if I can override the system...here goes I'm about to post reply....and see if my sneaky ways work....1
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Great post! I enjoyed the article! xo3 -
Morning friends,great read and too true! Last night I was counting the money I had saved for our vacay and during my unfortunate bender I wasted about $400! Not in booze alone but cuz I was calling out of work and still had bills to pay,what a dumb waste of money😭 and the time,oh the time I feel like I lost all of July basically,so crazy to think I had it all "under control" I didn't have anything under control,hope all are well and we all have a great AF day💗5
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I love this thread- the stories are so powerful and inspiring. My problem is wine. Last night I, again, drank an entire bottle. Today is my "fasting" day where I only eat 500 calories and NO alcohol. I do it one day a week and my goal is to increase that. Geez- even one day is hard.7
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Hi all...nice to hear all of your strength & determination...it gives me strength & determination. My 2nd AA meeting tonight...a different location with different people, but we know it is all the same
Please take care & stay strong & determined 6 -
Celebrating 25 years alcohol free today .... grateful to AA, the fellowship (including here on MFP Sober Squad)13
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Good afternoon friends. I am finally, after 6 weeks of on and off drinking, committing myself to remaining alcohol free. After my 90 day stint of AF, I did learn a lot about benefits of it by actually experiencing them. And I finally have some actual compare and contrast personal data to back up my AF choice. So I wrote all this data down in an easily accessible word file - All the reasons why I want this, for times when I'm struggling. I guess I should have expected the 'failure' since I knew having a vacation spot associated with drinking for the past 5 years would be too much of a trigger, but I couldn't abandon my husband either. We pay a few grand a season, ahead of time and I wasn't in the place I am now when we did a seasonal rental again. So I told my husband, the remaining trips for the next 2 months will likely be boys trips bc it's not working for me. Fortunately, we were already planning a season off next summer bc we have a lot of other things going on. And we're also contemplating a 2nd child. I know how afraid I was of the struggle to remain AF for 9 months before and the cravings early on were daunting. So I want this to just be a non issue by then. Hope everyone is well and staying strong in your resolve.7
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walterm852 wrote: »Celebrating 25 years alcohol free today .... grateful to AA, the fellowship (including here on MFP Sober Squad)
Thats pretty incredible congratulations to you!6 -
Hi again.. .just stopped in to say hello. It is so interesting having a life without alcohol. As I posted way back in September I quit March 2016 cold turkey. Never even have a THIRST for a drink... I'm really shocked after such a lifetime of party liquor. It started in HS at our senior picnic when some wise guys decided to inject all the watermelons with vodka. That was my first drink! Well the whole senior class got suspended and we almost missed graduation day but the powers that be prevailed. Anyway, I drank most nights for decades until March of 2016.. .yes, even quit before St. Patrick's Day and I'm a green blooded IRISHMAN !
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walterm852 wrote: »Celebrating 25 years alcohol free today .... grateful to AA, the fellowship (including here on MFP Sober Squad)
Congrats to you on your awesome journey! Isn't life grand in this wonderful world?
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Ruby and Jen finally meet after all this time on the thread. Having fun !14 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »
Ruby and Jen finally meet after all this time on the thread. Having fun !
Wow thats so cool! Beautiful photo❤6 -
That's awesome Jen and Ruby!💗2
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Ruby & Jen I am SO jealous...but in a good way!!! Awesome...that's SO exciting...how did you guys meet up?3
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Morning friends,great read and too true! Last night I was counting the money I had saved for our vacay and during my unfortunate bender I wasted about $400! Not in booze alone but cuz I was calling out of work and still had bills to pay,what a dumb waste of money😭 and the time,oh the time I feel like I lost all of July basically,so crazy to think I had it all "under control" I didn't have anything under control,hope all are well and we all have a great AF day💗
You have it under control now!! And I love your new profile pic 3 -
@Yellowstone1983 Glad you're back & recommitted and very proactive to have a plan in place for the inevitable cravings. Someone at my AA group tonight referred to alcoholism as a very sneaky, patient disease.5
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walterm852 wrote: »Celebrating 25 years alcohol free today .... grateful to AA, the fellowship (including here on MFP Sober Squad)
WOW...That is inspiring!! YAY!5 -
lauragreenbaum wrote: »I love this thread- the stories are so powerful and inspiring. My problem is wine. Last night I, again, drank an entire bottle. Today is my "fasting" day where I only eat 500 calories and NO alcohol. I do it one day a week and my goal is to increase that. Geez- even one day is hard.
YUP, I can relate to this...wine was my drink of choice also and I could manage to drink an entire bottle in one evening (again) many times...It was too easy to do and that was when it became scary for me and I realized that I "think" I have a problem...NOW I KNOW I have a problem!!4 -
@FeelinFooFoo You CAN do this...you HAVE done this and will do it again....you GO girl!!
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RubyRed427 wrote: »
Ruby and Jen finally meet after all this time on the thread. Having fun !
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜👍👍👍👍👍👍5 -
Morning friends,how cool you two got to meet! Lorraine,very sneaky it is,I'll be floating along doing great then bam! Still trying to think about where my mindset was when I stopped that first day after work for beer,was I upset? Irritated? I don't remember,I think I just had the"f-its" maybe,I need to start journaling better,I do write everyday but I need to keep better track,wishes for a fab AF day for us all!💗5
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Hello everyone! I'm joining the Sober Squad! I've been out of control alcohol-wise for a while now and it's really getting me down. I'm starting a new job in a month that is going to take a lot more concentration, comprehension and ability than my current job (that I've been at for almost 7 years). I won't just be able to float through my days with hangovers or just general malaise like I sometimes do now. I am really excited for it and want to do well so I've decided to just go alcohol free since it's been noted that I am not good at moderation. It's nice to have a thread like this to remind myself that others are going through the same thing and have a place to express my own thoughts/struggles. That's all, thanks!!9
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