The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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MonkeyMel21 wrote: »Today is day three AF and my first weekend. According to my fitbit, I’ve gotten a lot better deep sleep. My heartburn is starting to go away too! I’ve not been in a great mood but that could easily be related to something else and hopefully ease up in the next two days. Anyway, just checking in and reading previous posts.
Wishing you a beautiful Sunday !! Sounds like you are feeling so much better these days. 4 -
Morning friends, I don't have any problem with m.j my kids all smoke and I'd rather have them do that than drink! Alcohol is something that effects every cell in our bodies and it's harsh on our systems I don't care what anyone says or tries to argue,not sure if we're allowed to talk about it here (don't think so) so thats all I'll write on that topic,doing ok here,still analyzing what causes me to drink after being off of it for awhile,just bugs me cuz I feel if I've had a sober streak why not just keep it up? Off to read the Chardonnay article,wishes for a fab AF day 💗6
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@FeelinFooFoo It's an easy "habit" to develop to drink through the week, but the difference for some of us is the habit turns into a dependency and once our brain is hooked, then it is a constant struggle to gain control...which again, for some of us, is never going to happen, it's just a game we play to continue to drink.
So each of us has to discover what our hook is? And like you said, the numbing, dumbing-down our feelings is the usual hook. From what I've learned through many videos and articles on alcoholism, Alcohol Use Disorder or whatever label is current, it isn't so much how much or how often, but WHY we drink that indicates a problem. SO, that may be where to start...try to figure out what is underneath your desire to numb out and work on that. What I have found during my journey, and this is personal (not a recipe for anyone else) but typical for others also, is that the first year I was focused on stopping drinking, ditching the habit; but, once I had a bit of time sober under my belt...the feelings I had numbed out for SO long began to surface & helped me to see what I needed to work on and so that is the stage I am at now...BUT IT IS A PROCESS, an individual process.
I see you beginning your own process and asking the questions to yourself that need to be asked. I'm not sure if you had commented on the YouTube video that I recommended recently. It is a 1974 interview of Dick Cavett with Dick Van D...yke...(must spell that way or it will insert the infamous "kitten") Anyway, Dick VanD explains his problem with alcohol in such a way that makes it very clear to me what the nature of alcohol addiction is. I would highly recommend it for you to watch...it's only 20 mins, but the first 5 mins into it, I lost my craving for what would have been my slow descent back into my drinking problem...Hope you do watch it and hope it helps you to arm yourself for your continued journey...
I have this confidence in you that you WILL get a handle on this...I'm not sure why, it's just a feel. And perhaps it is because you continue to reach out which is a great thing. No matter what happens in the days ahead, please continue to reach out...and thank you for sharing your very personal struggle...that takes courage & humility and THAT can illicit great change for the better
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4 months and 2 days since I touched Alcohol. Quit it cold turkey when I started the journey of losing 100 lbs.8
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GOOD MORN to All
Tis a Lovely, HOT as Hades, day in the hood. I am on first day of vaycay...I took this week off due to my bro's service tomorrow. It will be an emotional day for us all, but a good day too to be together. I have family coming from all over...parts of Canada, the U.S., across the pond who I haven't seen in decades. Besides being a very sad day, It will also be a very bittersweet day as I remember that it was my brother's desire to have a family reunion this year and so we will have one of sorts, but without him!! Not right, but life is not fair... 
I will be missing my AA meeting tomorrow eve, but have made contact with someone who gave me her number. I am also the DD for any who need me to drive sober so that will help me stay sober...THIS gathering will be the test for me though as I will be surrounded by drinkers, but I may be surprised as I have been through this past couple of weeks expecting more drinking than there was. At the same time, it will be the after-hours gathering...once the actual Celebration is done, we will all gather at my bro's place and then the drinking will kick off...that I DO know!!
So I am preparing myself mentally...my niece who is more like my sister as we grew up together and are 2 years apart, is coming today and will stay over here. She was my drinking bud of sorts, quite often having a glass of wine/two/three/or a bottle together over the phone as we live some distance apart. I had noticed a difference in our relationship when I stopped drinking...less contact on both our parts and I had recently shared that with her. She never tried to deny it, and acknowledged it once I had brought that to her attention...Anyway, I told her that she is welcome to drink at my place, I don't want her thinking she has to be a non-drinker because I am...I AM ok with it, as long as there is none left here...so that's the only stipulation is that leftovers go with her...
I likely check in here in the wee hours after I'm home tomorrow eve...SO, please may everyone take of of yourselves and each other here...I like to think of us as a sober Fam...ily of sorts...we do have a bond and do care about each other
Good day to all 7 -
@lorrainequiche59, I'm sure we will all be thinking of you tomorrow!
Another cool thing about Dick Van D . . . yke is that the interview you recommend was in 1974, and I saw him interviewed last year when he was 92, talking about how he and his wife love to dance in the living room. He is such a young 92! I doubt that would have been the case had he not stopped drinking over 45 years ago. Motivation!5 -
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Hi everyone
@lorrainquiche59 goodluck tomorrow.
I hope you enjoy the family's company.
And of course my sympathy to you for getting through a tough day.
Strange how things change socially when you stop drinking. Anyone else feel a complete disconnect from people that drink or I should say have a hard time connecting with new people that drink? I felt like a social pariah being offered a drink from my husband's aquaintances and declining and just wasn't into a thing that they were talking about. Hard stuff to go through or so it seemed. I think I've always suffered socially. But take the drinking out of the equation and forget it. I hope all are well.4 -
@aroze0928 I agree. Once I was telling my friend I quit drinking and he was taken aback and said "Well I will never quit!!" like I was making a comment about him, but I wasn't.
Another observation is that I find myself just retreating from social functions; I know my friends go out every weekend to the local bars, and they don't text me anymore to join them. However, I wouldn't want to join them anyway. I like being in my little sober apartment by myself.5 -
Hi just come across this amazing thread. What a great idea just what I need right now. Thank you for sharing 👌7
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FeelinFooFoo wrote: »Iv been doing some serious thought about why I can end up drinking through the week. It's usually very much an impulsive thing and I'm doing it to numb myself. I don't really enjoy the alcohol through the week, partly because I know that I shouldn't be doing it and it's not in my best interest. I need to just start dealing with things, sober even if I'm feeling a bit stressed. There is no answer in the bottom of a bottle and if I'm numbed, how can I possibly deal with anything? I need to remember that next time I feel like nipping into a shop on my way home during the week. The bit that stands out the most, I don't even enjoy the alcohol on those occasions. And I don't want to be numb anymore.
Another book I would highly recommend is "This Naked Mind". It really delves into the dichotomy that is created between our subconscious mind and conscious mind when we decide to quit or cut back on alcohol. In essence, our subconscious mind has been conditioned since very early on to believe that alcohol is a source of fun, relaxation, stress relief, etc. When we decide we want to quit or cut back, our conscious mind is all on board...but our unconscious mind still believes what it has been conditioned for years to believe, and our unconscious mind is most responsible for our desires, cravings, etc.
Despite living an overall healthy lifestyle diet wise and exercise wise, and having a successful career, family, etc... I'm an alcoholic. Like black out drunk most nights alcoholic trying to remind myself in the morning what show my wife and I watched on t.v. that night or what we had for dinner.
"This Naked Mind" has helped me a lot in regards to understanding why I drink, and what is going on in my subconscious mind. It has helped me better understand that, for example, the fun of having my good friends over to hang out and swim and BBQ doesn't really have anything to do with the alcohol...it's the companionship...but my subconscious mind has been conditioned to think good times with friends = alcohol. When I look back and really meditate on that, it makes no sense...particularly since there are many nights with friends that I don't really remember or what memories I do have are fuzzy...how is that fun...how can you have fun if you don't even remember?
Conversely, just yesterday I was cleaning the house and I was in one of my kids' room and started looking at a calendar the my MIL had put together with various pictures of us and my kids on various vacations, adventures, etc. One of them was my youngest eating an ice cream at Pike Place Market in Seattle...I remember that day vividly...we took the ferry from West Seattle to Seattle proper...we did the underground tour that morning and then had lunch at Ivre's...then we road the big wheel and went to Pikes Place to check it out and get some ice cream...we had a blast that day and not a drop of alcohol was consumed (until later that evening), and the best part is that I remember it with complete clarity. Yesterday was an eye opener in regards to how many things I've done and had so much fun yet never touched a drop...I don't need the booze for fun...it only results in some hazy memory of, 'well...we did something and I assume it was a good time, but I don't really have any idea"
Anyway, good book...I'm not 100% sober at the moment, but I'm having dry nights and I'm nowhere close to being black out drunk these days.7 -
Good afternoon to everyone. I have been sober since March 17, 2007. I found my way through the book Alcoholic's Anonymous... not the meetings but the program in the book.
I am thankful there was someone willing to show me what was in the book. I, too, had the "can't just drink one" syndrome.. and I caused much hate and discontent in many lives.
I have taken the opportunity to "Set the world back on it's axis" by making things right with as many folks as possible and being willing with the rest.
Today, my life is not about taking care of me! When I get out of myself and help others with no selfish motives (which isn't 100%)... I feel better about myself and the world as a whole.
One of my favorites today:
No amount of fortune, fame, success, beauty, intelligence, or strength can give you the same sense of personal gratification or a sense of purpose as a genuine “thank you” from someone you help.
When you stop being so wrapped up in your own worries, sorrows, and melodrama and start being a part of the bigger picture, with a role to play in this universe, your sense of self-worth and self-esteem gets a whole new definition. Give freely. Help whenever you can. You will get more than what you thought you ever needed. Sumitha Bhandarkar
Thank you for this group!
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Hi everyone! Just a quick check in.. Today is day 9 after recommitting to a permanent change of alcohol free. While I haven't referred to my list of 'why i want this for myself ' yet, I have been much more focused on longer term goals and I've felt more motivated to plan for them and put that plan in action, rather than sitting around wasting time drinking wine, accomplishing nothing, and feeling hopeless. I hope everyone is enjoying an AF week!7
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Last night I gave in to temptation. It was actually the first night I even craved alcohol since going AF on August 1st. I had to go dress shopping because we're going to see Hamilton on Thursday night and I've gained so much weight that I don't have any dress clothes that fit right now. I also didn't want to spend a lot of money because I'm planning on losing the weight so I went to an upscale used clothing store that I've been to before. Well....it did not go well at all and I really hate clothes shopping in the first place so when I got home I really just wanted to sit down and have a few drinks. I put a beer in the freezer and decided to have an iced tea and just see if I still wanted it by the time it would be cold. That actually made me feel better and I could have easily chosen not to have it at that point but I went ahead anyway because DH had one as well. Then, of course, I felt great and wanted another so I had a sparkling water with the last maybe 2 oz of rum left. It was delicious but I knew I was back in that familiar pattern of feeling good and throwing my health goals out the window.
The positive I'm taking from this is that I almost grabbed one of DH's beers after finishing my second drink, not because I wanted it but because I wanted to keep the buzz going. But I didn't. I poured another iced tea and sat down and ate a light dinner (I'm also calorie counting right now and those two drinks blew my goal) and had a nice rest of the evening.6 -
Just checking in. Its my day off. @lorrainquiche59 how did everything go?
@MonkeyMel21 Im sorry that you blew it. I have done that before. I looked like a bag lady at one point because I put on weight and I just don't know how to dress when Im heavy. Nothing looks good and you feel so discouraged. Who to turn to? A couple of cold ones. You must realize those calories are the culprit. Of course tho we're our own worst enemy. Im sure you looked good in what you tried on.
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Morning friends,@MonkeyMel21 I've done that before,wanted to drink but distracted myself so I wouldn't,felt better but then drank anyways,so frustrating! You didn't go all crazy with it though so that's a plus 💗 @FeelingFooFoo you're doing a great job,yep unpacking alot of baggage is hard,we actually hafta FEEL and sometimes that's really uncomfortable, Lorraine,I'm thinking about you and your family,hope all is well,off to get my fro figured out for work,have a Fab AF day all!4
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@whitpauly , I think if I would have had more rum in the house, I probably would have had more. But now it's all gone and I don't plan on stopping by the liquor store anytime soon!
Thank you all for you kind words.4 -
Hi There: It was a lovely non-religious service for my bro. So there was no talk about the Bible's explanation on why we die, what happens at death or what hope there is to see our loved ones again...so in one sense, for me, there was something missing and a bit of a feeling of emptiness from that angle. AT the same time, I was glad not to have to sit through someone's "opinion" on those questions...The entire service consisted of a video presentation of his life in pics, the eulogy by one of his BFFs, who happened to be my very first boyfriend, a few selected friends & family sharing memories and a few who performed songs. My Bro would have been so pleased with the impact he had on all our lives.
A poem that was read was entitled "The Dash" I think that's the title...I actually have a laminated copy of it that I got from another funeral years ago...it refers the "dash" that is between the day of our birth and the day of our death and focuses on how it isn't the day of our birth or the date of our death that is of value, as much as how we live our "dash" or how we spend the time in between those two dates. I'm going to dig mine out because it resonated with me when I received my own copy and again when it was read yesterday...and has me really thinking about how I'm using my own dash. Perhaps someone on here is familiar with this poem.
I bawled from beginning to end with a box of kleenex on my lap I knew going in that the finality of it all would certainly hit me and it did, and I sat quietly allowing the tears to roll down my cheeks as I sopped them up every now & then...I didn't think there could possibly be any more tears in my tear bank, but I realize that my grieving will continue for a bit yet and then lessen at some point, but until it does, I'm just going with the flow....literally
I wouldn't say I was tempted to drink, but there was that little voice in my head...the drinker's dialogue...that was trying to break through on some level, because there were a few brief times I wished I could "just" have a glass or 2 of wine...but then the "other" voice of my sober, reasoning self that was reminding me why I am SO glad that I don't want to, and as I sat watching & speaking with those who obviously had a few, I was in NO way envying or wishing I could be like them...there were glassy-eyed, attempts to control their slurs, and a shallow quality about their conversations and attempts to escape their own pain that saddened me. It was the first time I have been around so much alcohol in a very long time, and it was a pleasure to be sober and not viewing it all through my own foggy vision.
Some really awesome shares here in the past bit and I am so glad to come on here and see everyone continuing fighting the fine fight to stay AF and learning the lessons when our guard may slip briefly back into old ways.
Hoping a happy, AF day to ALL ... Thank you so much for all your love & support through this difficult period in the "dash" of my life.
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@cwolfman13 WOW...I read your profile & another WOW!! really enlightening post here & your profile story about your Dad touched my heart, & the desire to be a better you for your wife and two boys. I hope for your continued success in your new healthy lifestyle and in your quest to face your issues with alcohol. I also hope you continue to share here because you have some valuable insights for us.
There are too many good shares to comment personally on each one, but I value all of them...and WELCOME to all who are newly sharing here. 5 -
FeelinFooFoo wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »FeelinFooFoo wrote: »Iv been doing some serious thought about why I can end up drinking through the week. It's usually very much an impulsive thing and I'm doing it to numb myself. I don't really enjoy the alcohol through the week, partly because I know that I shouldn't be doing it and it's not in my best interest. I need to just start dealing with things, sober even if I'm feeling a bit stressed. There is no answer in the bottom of a bottle and if I'm numbed, how can I possibly deal with anything? I need to remember that next time I feel like nipping into a shop on my way home during the week. The bit that stands out the most, I don't even enjoy the alcohol on those occasions. And I don't want to be numb anymore.
Another book I would highly recommend is "This Naked Mind". It really delves into the dichotomy that is created between our subconscious mind and conscious mind when we decide to quit or cut back on alcohol. In essence, our subconscious mind has been conditioned since very early on to believe that alcohol is a source of fun, relaxation, stress relief, etc. When we decide we want to quit or cut back, our conscious mind is all on board...but our unconscious mind still believes what it has been conditioned for years to believe, and our unconscious mind is most responsible for our desires, cravings, etc.
Despite living an overall healthy lifestyle diet wise and exercise wise, and having a successful career, family, etc... I'm an alcoholic. Like black out drunk most nights alcoholic trying to remind myself in the morning what show my wife and I watched on t.v. that night or what we had for dinner.
"This Naked Mind" has helped me a lot in regards to understanding why I drink, and what is going on in my subconscious mind. It has helped me better understand that, for example, the fun of having my good friends over to hang out and swim and BBQ doesn't really have anything to do with the alcohol...it's the companionship...but my subconscious mind has been conditioned to think good times with friends = alcohol. When I look back and really meditate on that, it makes no sense...particularly since there are many nights with friends that I don't really remember or what memories I do have are fuzzy...how is that fun...how can you have fun if you don't even remember?
Conversely, just yesterday I was cleaning the house and I was in one of my kids' room and started looking at a calendar the my MIL had put together with various pictures of us and my kids on various vacations, adventures, etc. One of them was my youngest eating an ice cream at Pike Place Market in Seattle...I remember that day vividly...we took the ferry from West Seattle to Seattle proper...we did the underground tour that morning and then had lunch at Ivre's...then we road the big wheel and went to Pikes Place to check it out and get some ice cream...we had a blast that day and not a drop of alcohol was consumed (until later that evening), and the best part is that I remember it with complete clarity. Yesterday was an eye opener in regards to how many things I've done and had so much fun yet never touched a drop...I don't need the booze for fun...it only results in some hazy memory of, 'well...we did something and I assume it was a good time, but I don't really have any idea"
Anyway, good book...I'm not 100% sober at the moment, but I'm having dry nights and I'm nowhere close to being black out drunk these days.
I was thinking about buying that book, I did the alcohol experiment by Annie Grace and I do believe that is her book so I think I'l get it now. What you said about fun=booze has been one of my issues, it's been heavily engrained over time but I now have the mindset that feeling like crap can also = booze. I feel like when I give in too often I start to feel like my power & control are being taken away from me and I'm left feeling a way I didn't chose or want to feel so I'm gona try and remember that. I am not sure if I will always be 100% AF but I just need to take some action now to change course. I'm intrested to see just how long I make it!
And finding fun things to do that don't involve booze will be a good adventure, I suppose. A change from the norm. And yeah, be able to clearly remember what I did would be good !
Yes, it is by Annie Grace. She delves heavily in the book that most of us have had our subconscious heavily conditioned to think alcohol = fun...we've grown up watching our parents and other adults entertaining, and there's usually alcohol involved...must be fun. Chilling on the beach = need a corona or a margarita because that looks so good on the commercial...around the bonfire with friends, how about a Budweiser. I've never been one to really think advertisements have much of an impact on me, but that marketing does a number on the subconscious. I'm finding out.
I'm doing a 30 day challenge with my wife in September. I was going to start this month, but we have several social situations that I think would be far too tempting in a pretty fragile state. This is all pretty new to me. Deep down I've known I was an alcoholic or at least well on my way for years...but in July I came out of denial after we had guests come over for a pool party and I did so much pre-partying that I hardly remember them arriving and I have no recollection of eating dinner, swimming, or them leaving...actually, I have one very blurry memory of me trying to do a back flip into the pool, and that's about it. I'm using the month of August to really cut back and meditating on the many good times I've had along the way where no alcohol was involved whatsoever.
Those same friends are coming over on Saturday and I've told them about what's going on with me...they are very supportive, and I'm finding the more people I tell, the more support I'm getting...I don't think being "anonymous" is helpful. I was very fearful that my friends, or at least some of my friends would nod their head in support, but at the same time avoid their "dysfunctional friend", and that hasn't been the case so far in the least.6 -
GOOD MORN to all It's a grey, overcast morning in my neck of the woods and I'm headed a few hours south to stay overnight at my niece's place. I was hoping to lounge in her pool this aft, but they are calling for thunderstorms in her area, so I will need to have a dip when the risk has passed. My goal is to float for a bit cause it totally relaxes me. I'm hoping the weather people are wrong as usual LOL A few more days of holidays left and last night was my first half decent sleep in weeks.
This niece is not a drinker normally although she admitted she has been drinking more than normal in the past few months since she began dating again. The hermit part of me just wanted to stay home, but I think it will be good for me to get a change of scenery.
Have a good day and hoping to see lots of comments when I return. 4 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »GOOD MORN to all It's a grey, overcast morning in my neck of the woods and I'm headed a few hours south to stay overnight at my niece's place. I was hoping to lounge in her pool this aft, but they are calling for thunderstorms in her area, so I will need to have a dip when the risk has passed. My goal is to float for a bit cause it totally relaxes me. I'm hoping the weather people are wrong as usual LOL A few more days of holidays left and last night was my first half decent sleep in weeks.
This niece is not a drinker normally although she admitted she has been drinking more than normal in the past few months since she began dating again. The hermit part of me just wanted to stay home, but I think it will be good for me to get a change of scenery.
Have a good day and hoping to see lots of comments when I return.
I think it will be good for you to getaway; you have been through so much!! Enjoy the peaceful floating time!
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Yesterday I had an appointment with my therapist ; I have not seen her for two months but my stress level was getting so high, I called her. I told her all my worries and fears and what has been going on and afterwards felt immensely better. I skipped art class and went to the mall to just walk around. It was an overall good evening!!
I was telling my therapist that things and problems have been happening, and it's like layer upon layer on my brain. And it's all getting too much!!! This Tuesday the divorce will be final and then like an ostrich, I will put my head in the sand for awhile and get back to teaching. And just keep it simple. I do have to drive with the ex to drop off the daughter at college in two weeks; that will not be fun in anyway especially saying goodbye to the daughter. It's all part of life. And even on my darkest days, I do know how blessed I really am.
I've kept drinking at bay; recently I've lost the craving for it. But I'll stay vigilant.6 -
Morning friends, overcast here too Lorraine but like you said the weather guy is always wrong and I'm sure the sun will pop out eventually today,glad the memorial went ok,I do need to think there's something else beyond this life or I'll go bananas! When my brother committed suicide I had many of my customers tell me he was going directly to hell because suicide is a sin,I don't believe that,I think God would hafta have sympathy for someone so messed up in the head to cause them to take such drastic measures,wow that's depressing for first thing in the morning haha,sorry! I don't care for the word alcoholic,I think it's outdated and too broad,yes I know I'm classified one I'm defo not in denial about that but I identify more with AUD,any doctor can classify anybody that drinks more than 7 drinks a week an alcoholic, that would be pretty much 80% of the population I think,I dunno I just hate that word,I'm glad we're all here working on ourselves and try to become the people we want to be,that makes me very happy😁 waves to all and wishes for a fab AF day!3
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Morning friends, overcast here too Lorraine but like you said the weather guy is always wrong and I'm sure the sun will pop out eventually today,glad the memorial went ok,I do need to think there's something else beyond this life or I'll go bananas! When my brother committed suicide I had many of my customers tell me he was going directly to hell because suicide is a sin,I don't believe that,I think God would hafta have sympathy for someone so messed up in the head to cause them to take such drastic measures,wow that's depressing for first thing in the morning haha,sorry! I don't care for the word alcoholic,I think it's outdated and too broad,yes I know I'm classified one I'm defo not in denial about that but I identify more with AUD,any doctor can classify anybody that drinks more than 7 drinks a week an alcoholic, that would be pretty much 80% of the population I think,I dunno I just hate that word,I'm glad we're all here working on ourselves and try to become the people we want to be,that makes me very happy😁 waves to all and wishes for a fab AF day!
It's just horrible that anyone said that to you after your brother died. Just heartless of these people!!
When our pastor was asked what happens when someone commits suicide, he replied "God loves everyone." It was a simple but good answer. I believe God probably gave your brother the biggest hug and said "welcome to paradise."4 -
@RubyRed427, I think a good therapist with whom you click is an amazing gift. I'm so grateful for mine, whom I've been seeing "as needed" for almost 30 years. Once she retires, I'm afraid I'll be tempted to pull a Bill Murray in "What About Bob"!
I have an appt. with an ENT on Monday regarding this horrible ringing in my ear. Last night I finally had 2 drinks because that stops it (temporarily). I know alcohol actually makes it worse in the long run, but it does provide temporary relief when I feel like I can't stand it another minute. Hopefully there is a solution that doesn't involve alcohol because I missed my morning walk today and don't want to use alcohol in any amount. Frustrating!
@whitpauly, it is really amazing how insensitive people can be sometimes. My oldest son is profoundly mentally handicapped, and when I was a young new mother, people said things that I couldn't really believe people would say! I think 99.9% of it comes from unwitting insensitivity, so I try to just let it go. But seriously? I just pray I'm never callous enough to say something as hurtful as what you describe. Anyway, we know enough to write it off as the ignorance it is, right?
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@RubyRed427, I think a good therapist with whom you click is an amazing gift. I'm so grateful for mine, whom I've been seeing "as needed" for almost 30 years. Once she retires, I'm afraid I'll be tempted to pull a Bill Murray in "What About Bob"!
I have an appt. with an ENT on Monday regarding this horrible ringing in my ear. Last night I finally had 2 drinks because that stops it (temporarily). I know alcohol actually makes it worse in the long run, but it does provide temporary relief when I feel like I can't stand it another minute. Hopefully there is a solution that doesn't involve alcohol because I missed my morning walk today and don't want to use alcohol in any amount. Frustrating!
@whitpauly, it is really amazing how insensitive people can be sometimes. My oldest son is profoundly mentally handicapped, and when I was a young new mother, people said things that I couldn't really believe people would say! I think 99.9% of it comes from unwitting insensitivity, so I try to just let it go. But seriously? I just pray I'm never callous enough to say something as hurtful as what you describe. Anyway, we know enough to write it off as the ignorance it is, right?
“What about Bob” is one of my favorite movies ever !!
I hope the doc can help you - must be horrible to have that ringing 😢3 -
Good job @FeelingFooFoo on avoiding the wine❤️ @ donimfp that ringing must be truly annoying! I get it from time to time but only for a few seconds and that's long enough to annoy me,thanks for the kind words regarding my brother, religion and politics are beliefs that people should keep to themselves and those people who said that to me shoulda just kept their opinions to themselves I think cuz we all have our own beliefs on those things,one of my coworkers is in the hospital again for drinking too much,I hope she's gonna be ok just heartbreaking4
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Hi All. I've been on vacation. It's nice to come back and see all the comments. Welcome to the new faces! We were visiting friends out of town. Of all things, they wanted to take us to a vineyard within an hour of us arriving. To be polite I did a red wine tasting....they were terrible, I have no idea how this place stays in business. But anyway that was all I had. Fortunately the hosts barely ever drink so there wasn't temptation in my face the entire time. My husband and son in law did have beers at the house but beer doesn't tempt me. I am losing weight a lot easier now without the daily wine (and snacks that go with it).6
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I had a hearing test today in advance of visiting the ENT Monday. Sadly, she found I have a slight hearing loss in my right ear (very slight) and said the tinnitus (ringing in the ear) is a benign symptom of that loss and likely permanent. AGHHHH! It doesn't seem "benign" to me; it is a constant loud noise. She said caffeine, salt, nicotine, and alcohol are aggravating factors. I consume very little of the first two, no nicotine, but . . . alcohol. I told her that at the moment that's the only thing that helps me ignore the sound. She suggested finding ways to combat stress such as yoga, meditation, etc. This is going to be a real battle for me. I guess it's true for all of us that we get some "benefit" from the very poison that is so bad for us, or we wouldn't be tempted to drink it. But now, this very awful symptom has me wanting alcohol to stop it while alcohol makes it worse. I suppose I'll have to learn to live with this the same way we all have to learn to live with and cope with other types of stress and unpleasantness.
On top of this, our AC went out and can't be fixed until Monday. The heat index here is over 110 degrees. Luckily my mom lives nearby, but being displaced for the weekend on top of this new frustrating news is not making me happy. I just heard someone on the radio today saying to reframe negatives as not happening "to" us but happening "for" us. Maybe having an actual physical condition that prevents me from overindulging in alcohol will be a blessing in disguise. Right now I just don't feel very blessed. Sorry to rant.6
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